Let's face it: single women and girls in this world very uncomfortable. It seems that the older they are, the harder they go on dates, and the less they have a choice. Marriage Agencies? Money down the drain. Blind Date? Just terrible. Dating websites? Sheer frustration. And love wants desperately. And then he appears on the horizon, look beautiful, gives flowers and even wrote poems. He has only one small disadvantage: he is married.
If you're reading this, most likely you are not married, you do not have a permanent boyfriend and you took that old as the world, the story: you will fall in love with someone else's husband. And now, more than anything else you are interested in the question of how to lead a married man of the family. After all, you two love each other, for each other, and only for some ridiculous accident did not meet the five (or ten) years ago, when he still had no wife and children. Yet we urge you to forget for a moment about the feelings and try with a cool head to think carefully about whether you are ready to bear responsibility for the fact that they decided to steal someone else's husband.
According to statistics, the family does not throw more than 10% of men. If your relationship has lasted more than a year, the likelihood that he will leave to you, tends to zero. Most of those who left his wife and children, after some time returning to them. You do not confuse these numbers, because you believe that it is precisely you'll be all right? Sumela is a familiar friend to lead Man, so that you are optimistic. Well, let's discuss the possible consequences of your choice, which you probably have not thought, and try to answer the question of whether to divert someone else's husband.
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Think about yourself
The relationship with a married man - a difficult test, especially if you are impressionable nature. You are young and attractive, but live as if in a dream, and suddenly a miracle happens, and loved finally leave the family. In this enchanted sleep can not live a day or two, and a few years. And the more, the more your sleep will be like a nightmare.
Judge for yourself: have to love "on the run". Meeting with men are infrequent and hurried. You will rarely see, for weekends, holidays and vacations, he should spend with his wife and children. At a married man is always a lot of responsibilities to the family: to reduce son or daughter in an amusement park, take the wife's mother to the country, pick up service from the car of his wife, etc. Therefore, it will move or completely cancel the meeting with you, sometimes at the last moment. Do not count on many telephone conversations: the day he is busy at work, and in the evening your conversation may occasionally hear his wife. And in the phone book of your cell number is likely to be a certain number of Oleg and Peter Ivanovich.
And what are you? And you'll have to wait and hope that he will come or call. You will regularly check e-mail every minute to get out of her purse phone to check, not whether he is dead, and worry if your favorite did not respond to the SMS. Each missed call, every message left unanswered, each a failed date will be interpreted as evidence that you do not need him and he decided to quit you. Insomnia, constant anxiety and gloomy thoughts have a negative impact on your overall health. Soon you will pass the nerves, and you will begin to be jealous of his beloved family, quarrel with him because of the slightest trifle, blamed for indifference and carelessness. Are you ready for this and continue to think about how to lead a married man?
You will constantly compare himself with his wife, because you need to be around better than she, and yet unlike it, otherwise it will not uvedesh the family. She is an excellent cook soup? And here you have carefully studied the art of making sushi. She skier? You signed up for courses in diving. It is nice to say in English? You put in a prominent place textbooks and dictionaries of the Italian language. At first such competition appears to be quite amusing, but eventually it turns into self-doubt, self-esteem drops below zero, and the need to "fit" begins to strain. You ready for this?
The relationship with a married man - a relationship of dependence. Gradually, you will cease to be itself and completely dissolved in it to his advantage. You no longer belong to myself. You can not go on Friday with her friends in a nightclub - and suddenly he coming? You must be willing to take the time off work, or unpaid leave, because your man "went on a mission," he wants to spend with you in a country house holiday. You should always look great, with fresh styling, manicures and pedicures, even if you are tired or feel unimportant - and suddenly he decides it tonight you look at the light? You are not afraid of a permanent full combat readiness to exploit?
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Relationships with other men
They will not. At least, permanent and long-term. First you will be faithful to him, and even the most innocent flirtation with another person, you will be regarded as a betrayal of the beloved. If your life was a man with serious intentions, which will be ready to link their fate with you, you do not even realize, as will be too busy thinking about his future happiness.
Then when you get tired of waiting, you are ready to jump into the arms almost to the first comer, again to feel wanted, or somehow annoy her man, or to prove to myself that you are a free woman, not someone's property . But it is unlikely you something really feel, prove or somehow annoy. Such spontaneous actions, usually committed rashly, under the influence of emotion, and then, when the fuse is held, the soul becomes very empty and sad. Are you ready for such a development?
If the relationship with him lasted for a long time, and he does not think a divorce, you will not believe all the stronger sex and eventually convince yourself that the world is not at all decent men left. You seem wrapped in a cocoon of frustration and mistrust, anger and bitter thoughts about the lost time and missed opportunities. Are you sure you will not regret in the future, what was once thinking about how to lead a married man?
Every day in your relationship will be more lies and less confidence. Both of you will lie. He - his wife and children. You - parents and relatives. Moreover, both of you will even deceive each other. You will pretend that everything is fine and you are satisfied with the uncertainty in which you live, and you do not mind that after the meeting with you, he hurries home. He will tell you what is required to divorce, that's just finish it repairs in the apartment (after all, a real man separated from his wife in an amicable way) or that's just wait for a promotion (after divorce have to provide two families). Needless to say that it will not go anywhere, even after a lead throughout the apartment in order and become the executive director of the firm?
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Give a birth to a baby
Perhaps tired of his promises to get a divorce, you decide to put out the big guns - to try to get pregnant by him, hoping that so that's the case, he would leave his family. Have you consulted with a friend, and she convinced you that this is the only way out of this situation: "I do not doubt, uvedesh his man certainly." However, one should not think that all it will be so. It is possible that he will not consider your pregnancy enough of a reason for divorce: the children she already has, so why does he need to change them in the unborn baby?
Perhaps he will even insist that you abortions. Men, no offense to them be said, a very faint idea of what an abortion and that the woman will have to live, decides to get rid of the child. They think that this is just a rather unpleasant procedure. "The physical pain you can endure - they argue - the more so that abortions are now making a good anesthetic." They're right, you can suffer. But then we have to live with the unbearable knowledge of their own guilt before and unborn men, trapped in tangled adult games. Mental wounds not tightened as quickly as wounds from surgical instruments. Thoughts on the unborn child - it's dreary thoughts about the irreparable loss. Are you ready for this?
Do not forget that even if the pregnancy was interrupted by an experienced professional in the best clinics of the city, the consequences of abortion can be severe. Approximately half of the women who decided to take this step, then can not conceive a child again because of established secondary infertility. Those who manage to get pregnant again, a very high risk of miscarriage or abnormal development of the fetus. Are you ready for this?
Of course, his "interesting position" and can lie. But, as we have already mentioned, we do not expect that a man dare to leave the family. In general, the news of the pregnancy - a kind of litmus test to check the strength of your relationship. How many married men in this situation are beginning to question, and whether the child is his, because it is possible that you have an affair with someone else. How many married men pay more mistress abortion than divorce with his wife! How many married men prefer to end the relationship, making you a single mother, has no rights to their financial support! Are you ready for this?
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A dream fulfilled: what next?
We will not argue, mistress men really gone from the family (even if the percentage of such "luck" is negligible). But we must be aware that after your dream come true and your beloved will leave you, you will immediately feel the burden of guilt and responsibility for the broken family (because you did not cold-blooded calculating person, which is aimed at someone else's husband because his position in society or money?)
First, you hurt another woman, maybe even your friend. Secondly, the children, especially teenagers, are going through a very painful discord between the parents - it should also consider if you decide to intervene in the life of someone else's family. Third, as a rule, public opinion blames it mistresses, not unfaithful husbands, that marriages break up. Are you ready for that old woman at the entrance will escort you to a reproachful look and will not hesitate to teach wits and tell you all what they think about the "unscrupulous razluchnitsa Gone man of the family"? Sometimes a woman in your situation even have to change the flat.
In addition, you will subconsciously expect that at any moment your man and you can change - he had once abandoned the family, escaped with slight shock and theoretically would be ready to do it again. Soon you begin to suspect him of infidelity, because you know very well how skillfully he can lie and pretend. You will start to secretly check his phone messages or e-mails, will be reluctant to let him go on business trips or meetings with friends. Over time, your relationship will accumulate too much confidence that your novel could survive and continue.
Moreover, it is not necessary that, after leaving the family, the man immediately offer you a hand and heart. Maybe "free" more than he likes: no obligations to family, you can fully manage their free time and had an affair, for example, during a holiday at sea. And you'll be alone to experience frustration. And then comes the bitter realization that you traded your life to a fictional tale, a beautiful illusion - nothing more.
From reading the article, you probably expect to find in her recipes, how to lead a married man, and instead got a discussion of the possible consequences of your choice. But you are not afraid, and you think that you are ready for anything. Well, we're not going to engage in boring moralizing. The choice anyway yours: you can either take a risk and win, or go endlessly long road to nowhere. Hopefully, you know yourself and your man well enough to understand what you will be able to cope and come to terms, and what - no.