What is loneliness? Internet tells us that it is a special psychological state of the person associated with the absence of close emotional ties with others. Probably each of us at least once in their life felt lonely. Agree similar stage in a person's life is remembered with distaste, and at the least his approach once there is a desire to learn how to deal with loneliness. But is it really necessary? Let's try to sort out this problem.
Loneliness: Pros and Cons
"Loneliness - bastard ..." - sung in one of the infamous song. However, whether it is the truth? The last few centuries, people just do what they are trying to get rid of loneliness. Many are losing on this front, and all because initially the wrong approach to the issue.
In solitude has its advantages. However, in this case, psychologists prefer to call it by another name - "Solitude". We speculate on how to build our contact with the environment. Here, you have a need for you after a while realized. Then you have to choose from the environment object with which you satisfy yourself. After finding it, you merge with him in a moment in one. These can include as something material and about living people. Obviously, it is impossible to always be someone or something in contact. At a certain point he interrupted, and you need the time to digest the impressions received and experience. If this step was not, then the mind simply can not cope to with the information received.
In addition to the above-important function, loneliness has a number of other advantages:
Time for yourself
When you are dealing with a lot of other people, you can not do something for yourself. And how is it our favorite treatments are, reading, watching stupid TV series, and mass of such a pleasant nonsense? Taking all of this, we have a rest and get pleasant emotions.
The ability to understand yourself
The life is full of situations where we do not know what you want and what you need to do. Privacy creates a psychological space in which you have the chance to hear and understand ourselves. Agree, without it anywhere!
When you have no one connected, it gives you a huge space for freedom of action. You do not need to report to other people and their opinions taken into account when making decisions. You just do what you want, and you reach the desired goals.
Of course, all is not as rosy as we would like to think. Loneliness is not by chance that so many negative shades. He was particularly afraid of women - perhaps this is due to our high emotion and the need to communicate. Chances are, you already have are well aware of the shortcomings of loneliness, but we still list them:
Recent studies have shown that there is a link between loneliness and the risk of various diseases. Along with alcohol, cigarettes and harmful fatty food, it depletes the human body and leads to psychosomatic disorders: diseases of the nerves, heart, stomach, etc. ...
Deterioration of contact with the world
Single person begins to suffer from distrust to everything around him. Often this is due to the fact that people find themselves alone after quarrels, betrayals and partings. High stress traumatize the human psyche, and after it is very difficult to recover.
The effect of "infection"
When your friend tells you about his loneliness, you may have it in tune with the state of feelings and experiences. In the end, each of us, to some degree alone, and when we come in contact with such people, this effect is enhanced.
Very rarely people around you manage to notice that you are one. A lone man looks and behaves almost the same as everyone else, but inside he sat pain. This leads to a deterioration of the psychological state, and you experience a feeling that no one understands you.
You are alone?
Surely after reading all of the above, you are wondering how you are alone. Arriving home, you find yourself alone, and often this is accompanied by a sense of melancholy gray muddy covering all the space around you. TV and Cat become members of your family, and you will discern the voice of DJ's favorite radio station.
Naturally, your psychological state is far from ideal. You feel emptiness, sadness, and the word "happiness" can cause you a sad smile. Some single people are beginning to joke evil and poisonous, "flooding" sarcasm all the space around them.
Man experiencing loneliness, really want to sleep, but sleep can be a problem. It is not surprising, because it is not a lack of sleep, and that the bed - it's the only place that is still warm and cozy. In the apartment you feel uncomfortable - it prevents the void. Life begins to resemble Groundhog Day: all the same, and nothing new is happening.
At the same time you start to avoid people. Of course, because they can not understand what is happening to you. The strongest sign of loneliness - the feeling of being abandoned in a crowd of people or at a party. You may not want to remove sunglasses, even at night - what if someone sees your eyes?
Wrong ways to escape from loneliness
For anyone experiencing loneliness becomes incredibly painful ordeal. Tosca, emptiness, a feeling of lack of something important - all these things interfere with the privacy of a person to experience the full, forcing her to flee from aimlessly. The fear to remain with their own deficiency leads to various versions of the escape.
Women's escape from loneliness often takes the form of obsessive desire to get married. This leads to promiscuity in the choice of a partner, that certainly does not bode well. The charm of the period of courtship and the alluring prospect of a wedding ring on the ring finger of his right hand just do not give the woman to see discrepancies in values, outlook and views on family life. You dream of a cozy house with three children, and he - a world tour? What is the difference, because we love each other! All this ends up feeling deceived about. But to break up over the years is not so easy, and you continue to be a pair of nominally, while experiencing the feeling of loneliness in the family.
If the marriage does not work, you can try to be a part of any group or community. This creates a sense of belonging together and something important. This requirement is very fond of all sorts of unscrupulous people to use, for example, a sect whose membership leads to loss of self.
Thanks to the Internet, in the modern world, almost no one feels alone - rather, it is always possible to escape from loneliness in virtual reality. Social networks, forums, communities of interest - plenty of sites on the Internet for communication and bringing people together. However, therein lies its danger. The relationships that we build in reality, require us a significant amount of effort and the need to make compromises, and contain a large element of risk - what if I do not like, or leave me for someone better? Internet relationships in this regard is simpler and easier if something goes wrong, you can simply "remove" unwanted person from your friends list and to find a replacement. Yes and contact you, by and large, not a real person, and with their fantasies about him.
Loneliness: how to fight it?
Are there the right options on how to deal with loneliness? Actually, nothing is impossible for man. But, most of all, something you need to change, because the usual way of life, and has led you to a negative state. What to do?
Help those in need
The world around you is full of suffering people who are less fortunate than you. Post to help them - the perfect cure for loneliness. Search the Internet your nearest animal shelter. Almost every town has a volunteer community involved through a variety of groups: orphans, cancer patients, the elderly, etc. ... Choose the cute to you and find out what the volunteers are interested the most. You will see that there is no better means of loneliness than help his neighbor!
Fight with distorted views of themselves and the world
Your head is full of opinions and attitudes regarding everything that surrounds you. Perhaps some of them are directly or indirectly interfere with your experience in conjunction with the other person. For example, you have an idea about a suitable man to you, and all who are below this bar is automatically discarded. Maybe we should wait a little lower? Or you repeatedly "beat life," and you are now belligerent attitude toward the world. But people are not to blame for your tragedy! Try to open up and trust them. Yes, it suggests the possibility of emotional wounds, but without the "shell" you can stop being lonely.
Come out into the world
It is not necessary to withdraw into themselves and thereby strengthen its loneliness. Visiting cultural events, chat with friends, work - all it involves you in real life and is a source of positive emotions, so necessary to you now.
Refer to the psychologist
If your loneliness delayed and slowly turns into a black depression, it is not necessary to delay treatment to a specialist. It is possible that the reasons for this state lie deep in the psyche, and to understand them on their own can not do.
Try to see more positive in the people around you
In the end, even the biggest monsters in the history of the world had its advantages: Stalin helped win World War II, and thanks to the work of scientists of the Third Reich medicine significantly jumped forward.
What conclusion can we draw from this article? In all need balance. With privacy fight is not worth it - a natural phase of contact with the world, necessary for processing the experience. But if it takes more than you need, a part of your life and turns into an oppressive solitude, then this should work. Remember that everything is in your hands, and you can be happy, if you want this good!
We strongly recommend to read: The problem of loneliness of elderly people