Let's see: the relationship between mother-and daughter - a duo or a triangle? Can they be peaceful co-existence? Daughter-in-law, and - a cat and a dog or best friends? In general, is it possible a good relationship with the mother of her husband, in principle? Or is the conflict between daughter and mother-in inevitable?
That these questions we will try to find answers. Every woman is a real actress inside. During his life, she tries many masks. Some people like to do it, someone just forcing life. But be that as it was not the task of transformation, each a perfect representative of the fairer sex copes with a bang. So why not try to use his acting skills to good use?
Why is the daughter-in-law hates?
Typically, a daughter-in-law hates not just. In fact there are good reasons. Early on in the life of a woman playing the role of a loving and obedient daughter, feeling the love and care of mother. As a child, she can only receive love. Learning to love the most have to later. Growing up and, of course, falling in love, a young girl begins to give myself love. Here it is already playing into adulthood. Its role is simple and incredibly complex at the same time - she loves to be loved.
This period of time in the lives of inexperienced girls difficult. There is often a lack of understanding emerge, annoying events, frustration, betrayal, betrayal, danger and fear. In general, everything is filled with the wonderful world of adults.
For a young and inexperienced girl jump into the abyss of these passions can be quite shocking. In fact, it turns out that her husband by and large do not care about her feelings. In her love, he does not need, and her tenderness makes him a kind of mockery and hatred. Besides, a man very often does not meet the requirements of any of his young wife. It specifically seeks to destroy her dreams and ideas of a normal man, trying to convince her that what she has and what misconduct he often can not afford, is the real norm and wish her nothing more. All of this - not a rarity in the newly formed families.
Daughter-in-law hates Why?
This is much easier to understand and most of her daughter-in-law and. Sister in law - because it is now, at this moment overwhelmed by these emotions are not the best. In-law - because she was once the daughter. A cause of hatred between the daughter-in-law and acts primarily generational conflict. Why is that?
Because youth is peculiar perfectionism, excessive self-confidence, inability to compromise. A maturity - conservatism attitudes, excessive criticality and absolute belief in his innocence and his experience.
The wife said that she only has the right to "direct" the husband and any other woman (even his mother) is deprived of such rights. And who denies the rights? Wife. But in-law does not know this. She still believes that he has the right to his child even if the child himself has become a dad.
By the way, the appearance of a child can sometimes help to extinguish the passions. First, help and advice in-law (if sensible) are suddenly vital. And secondly, the daughter she becomes a mother, and an opportunity to experience the all-consuming and uncontrolled power of maternal love. Third, changing the psychology of each of these two women and their associate starts to really consanguinity.
The appearance of a child
The family comes really bright and happy moment for a woman - the birth of a child. Here, every woman happy to enter into a role that is perhaps dominant in her life - she becomes a mother. If there are some disagreements, misunderstandings and problems with her husband, the woman usually goes to his head and raise children. After all, it can only protect your baby from the outside world.
Actually, the meaning of life becomes a child whose mother no one will take. There is a sense of ownership and the owner. Mother closes on the child, not having the life of a loved one. As you know - love for a woman means not enough. And if she likes, he does so sincerely and selflessly.
Things get even worse if the child is a boy. Then the mother is trying to bring to him all that was missing her unloved husband. When he grows up, then naturally want to live on their own and find a girl. First love, adulthood, all of the same problems that once experienced mom herself. And, of course, the guy gets close to the severe restrictions that created his mother, trying to protect him from the trouble that she survived.
Now you should be clear reasons for that drive in-law. However, the position of the daughter did not improve. Relationship-law and daughter - the eternal confrontation between the two women. And it occurs at a time when the adorable child falls in love with another girl. Son, formerly belonged to her alone, distracted by another woman, giving her a big part of his love. Daughter-in-law hates not always because of his bad character, and often under the pressure of circumstances.
The situation of hatred and ill will begins to develop before birth and the boy and his bride, namely the youth of the mother in law. Daughter-in-law hates due to the fact that she had to literally tear a son from his chest.
She also does not want to share her beloved husband. She needs his love as well as in-law once needed the love of her husband, which he had not awarded. And such is the psychology of "average" in-law, so she begins to hate the daughter, even greeting daughter, for example, for the new year, above its forces.
Fighting for her husband and son
From the perspective of the mother-in-law said the young wife hindrance and universal evil. The girl from the position of the legitimate wife believes in-law just razluchnitsa and selfish, often speaking about her not only as my mother in law - a real snake. Women sometimes feuding so that congratulation happy birthday daughter-in-law to become existent penalty.
And, unfortunately, this situation is not uncommon. And get out of it is not so simple. It makes more sense not to bring the situation to such passions, and try to solve the problem at the beginning of the conflict situation. Do not try to run away from problems. After all, she - like a snowball - will only grow if it is not addressed.
Confrontation and daughter-in-law has long been a national epic, and the main topic of mocking jokes. Hatred begins to grow with each passing day more and more. The struggle for the main man in the life of two women takes with serious the magnitude and sometimes comes to ridiculous absurdity. But as you know, men fight before the first drop of blood, and women - to the last. Therefore, to give women out of favor. Daughter-in-law and enter into a brutal fight.
Begin unflattering and sometimes offensive comments about each other. It comes sometimes to the point that the most elementary expression of goodwill is not possible.
Actually in the affected area are everything: old mother, young wife and the hero - a favorite son and husband. Usually he tries to stay away from the bloody battles, watching the war between two females. Women fed it to the choice: my mother or wife. Remember that the man does not like problems (such is his psychology). Therefore, it is likely to run away from the two, finding a third shelter, which will be less tumultuous and life-threatening.
Of course, there are exceptions. There are naturally rare species of men who are able to act like adults and take mature decisions. But more often than they usually run away from the problems where quieter. At best, it will be friends, or fishing hut. But it is possible, and a sad outcome - your husband simply find a mistress who will understand and comfort him. And you risk losing her husband. Surely you do not achieve it?
Hatred between women erupted from the desire for power. And this is understandable. Each of them wants to own a man completely. Wife - the husband, the mother - son. And it is this thirst for power causes great damage to relationships and daughter-in-law. Daughter in law, is not willing to put up with the authority of the older woman. Mother in law does not allow even the thought of the possibility to respect the feelings and desires "of soplyuhi."
And as a result the atmosphere is heating up to the limit. Life turns into hell, and all the household - husband, wife, mother in law. And sometimes it gets children - they are extremely sensitive to anything that happens in the family. And as a result children are stung all quarrels and conflicts of adults.
What to do?
It is fashionable to establish whether the relationship between daughter and mother. It is difficult, but possible. And how to do it? Of course, the best option - it is to live separately from their parents. However, sometimes even separate housing can not save a young family from the all-seeing eye in-law and tёsch. Often brides girlfriends complain that in-law took his homilies and worthless advice.
It is no secret, many of them believe that they got a fool-in-law, or even worse - mother-monster. And not always this impression is false.
Whatever the situation did not work with you and your mother in law, never interfere with her husband in their conflicts, and certainly not allow a situation where he would need to choose between his mother and his wife, as the choice can be made not in your favor. Agree, because the mother of virtually every man always looks more reliable. Understand in-law, whatever it is, you do not have a rival, and she can never take your place. And only depends on you, if you can find a common language with his mother in law.
And your ultimatum can greatly hurt your lover. Think about it - how would you feel if your spouse has not found a common language with your mom and put you in front of a choice - he or my mother. Agree, it can be regarded as a significant pressure on the man. And believe me - you are highly likely to be at risk in a similar situation - Tiffany are often no better than the mother in law. So is it worth the risk and give up your husband as a weapon? And it is not the best.
In-law should remember about his relationship with his mother and her husband about the mistake that both women and which caused daughter-in-law. After all, any manifestation of attention and was a demonstration of respect for her in the same burden as it is now for her daughter. And the daughter should realize that sooner or later it will also be a mother-in-law and. And before you start to sort things out with his mother in law, try to put yourself in her place.
In fairness it should be noted that in life there are exceptions. There are families in which the mother-wife really loves her son, and she reciprocates. And that's fine, even if true. Even if a woman managed to find the strength to make it clear to each other that they are loved, respected and in demand. Love each other! Even if you are the daughter-in-law or the. Because only love will save the world!
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