"A gift horse in the teeth do not look" - so alleges folk wisdom. But we know that look. But even as the look! Although the horses, of course, no one gives (with a few exceptions for those in power), to gifts, most of us is very kind. And not only those that we receive, but also to the fact that we choose. In the latter case - particularly anxious if the gift is not on duty, and for the person loved, respected and expensive. How to choose a gift that was not painfully ashamed of what is not pleased with the gift, and excruciatingly painful for having to spend money on it?
It turns out that if you understand all the rules of choice of a gift, neither ashamed nor will not hurt. On the other hand, the donor would be proud just bursting, received as a gift and your horse will fully satisfy the new owner other than the state of their teeth. And that has turned out this way, it is necessary to understand some of the psychological subtleties and nuances. To begin?
What function are gifts?
If the present approach to the selection of all the rules, then you first need to determine its function. Make it easy, because all gifts can be only two functions, though different. The first gift - a sign of public attention, and the giving of gifts in this case - a real ritual with its own traditions. So it is assumed that the birthday present gifts on Christmas and New Year gifts to give, on the eighth of March or twenty-third of February give gifts.
Leave a birthday without a present, came to him on a holiday means to break with tradition and to pass rude person. Do not make a holiday gift to a business partner or just the person with whom you are closely associated outside the sphere of personal interests, so, too, violate societal norms. In short, do not give gifts when they have daritsya in accordance with established traditions, it is impossible. Actually, you can, but we live in a society and we can not be free from its laws. That is, in this case, when choosing a gift we are driven by a sense of duty and a desire to conform to public morality.
Secondly, a gift - a sign of personal attention. There already we are guided by his own desire and sincere feelings of love, affection and respect. A desire drives us to bring joy to a dear person. Such a gift we do and for the occasion, and just like that - in order to express their feelings and to emphasize the indifferent attitude.
So gifts for the holidays can perform a public or private function, gifts for no reason, rather, only personal. Corporate attentions mostly - only public. But more often, we choose a gift that combines both of these functions. And that is why the choice of gift often becomes a problem.
And what is the meaning of a gift? It turns out that the need for a gift makes you think about the people, regardless of our desires. The need to make a gift does not forget about the others, and when something themselves do not really remember in life hectic. The need to make a gift to refresh your memory and feelings. And in this sense the main gift - do not keep away from people remember them and remind them about yourself. The main thing to note there was no formal (even on formal occasions).
How to choose a gift in order of importance?
When choosing a gift, you need to decide with its hierarchy, which depends on the importance of the moment and the significance (for you) to whom a gift is intended. Present status is determined by the importance of the date and status of the person to whom a gift is intended. A gift membership expressed its views and its value (the other, unfortunately, not yet invented).
The importance of the time or status Gift
Each gift has a reason for its importance. And if just for no reason and you give your friend a CD with an interesting movie, and then a birthday the same friend again come with the disc, then at best you'll be misunderstood. And at worst - will incur judgment. Because a gift "just" lower status than a gift for my birthday.
In addition, all occasions for gift have their "roster". Special solemn occasions mean and special gifts. As a rule, expensive gifts (what to do, we all used to evaluate in monetary terms). By the way, expensive gifts in an insignificant occasion, too inappropriate. Such a gift could embarrass the person got it.
With regard to the type of gift, there is also need to follow the established traditions and status of the moment. There are generally accepted norms of giving gifts on various occasions. Some gifts are appropriate at the wedding, the other - on the anniversary, while others are good for the New Year. We remain a popular gift "in an envelope." However, a good practice to grant only banknotes to the wedding. In all other cases (except otherwise indicated) it is mauvais ton.
The closeness of the relationship, or the status of the recipient
We are talking about the closeness of the relationship and hierarchy of who gives and the one who receives the gift. And, of course, choosing a gift is defined as its value and its "intimacy". And all the people for all of us divided into those who we think more, and those to which our attention is not so closely.
Oddly enough, but the nearer and dearer to us people, the harder it is for him to choose a gift. Unfamiliar person special attention from us is not waiting. Therefore, any gift will be his joy. Close is counting on special attention, and guess how this attention they realize it can be difficult. And the real difficulty is the choice of a gift for those who live with us in the same house. Common concerns, the overall budget and overall needs sometimes nullify all the joy of the gift. And most of all gifts themselves are reduced to the utilitarian things: clothing or household appliances. However, it should be noted that these gifts can actually bring considerable joy. And if you have the opportunity to really surprise a loved one, use it and do not feel sorry for this money and effort.
Not very close people to give gifts as easy. Hierarchy relationships must be observed, but without personal involvement in choosing a gift can not be dispensed. In this case, the gift should be low, but relevant. You can not give candy to someone who does not eat them, alcohol is one who does not drink it, and the book to one who can not read. If the tastes of a particular person, you know nothing, you have to choose a neutral gift (handmade soaps, for example, will not be superfluous to anyone). It is only important to remember that you have already been presented to this person, not to be repeated.
Friends in this regard, apart from the competition. We know them well, they are easier than the native forgive our lack of attention, they are sensitive to the problems of our material (of course, if we are talking about real friends). It is for this category of recipients of gifts is easier to choose something useful and enjoyable.
How to choose a gift and not to miscalculate?
The abundance of goods is backward and impartial way when it comes to choosing a gift. In fact, all that we can buy for a gift to a person, he can buy himself. So let's try to figure out how to bring joy to the people who choose for him a certain kind of gift.
He sees eye ...
With an abundance of opportunity to buy goods for themselves what they like, of course, everyone has. However, that possibility can not everyone. So give the man what he wants, but to buy himself for any reason will not be - the win-win situation. For example, fans of brandy or whiskey will always be pleased to receive a gift of expensive varieties of drinks. Housewife, contentment an old vacuum cleaner, will be delighted his new model. And elderly parents, who love to watch TV series on good, but outdated TV will thank you for plasma panel, presented on the anniversary of their wedding.
Once birch, two birch ...
Collection gift - great gift for someone who collects something. And there are no restrictions on the choice, except for one: you need to know not only collectible, but also part of the collection. And if the object is collecting donations, for example, porcelain figurines or figurines of cats (elephants, bunnies), vintage cognacs and samovars, boldly giving the new collector's item - can not go wrong.
There is another version of the collection of gifts: to form a collection himself. That is, for example, give your mother on every New Year a brand new scarf or a friend on February 3 Twenty new mug. As a result, like "offering gifts" will turn into a touching ritual, and the gift will be expected and enjoyable.
It is this phrase responded to the extraordinary message Shurika heroine Natalia Krachkovskaya in the famous comedy Gaidai. Your gift can also cause this reaction (surprised admiration) if he really original. The material value of such a gift, as a rule, does not represent, but emotionally original gift can deliver no less joy than any useful or valuable thing. The number of original gifts may include gift certificates, and not just for the trip to the store, but to participate in some enjoyable activities (dance lessons, massages, a subscription to a beauty salon).
However, original gifts are meant only for people with a sense of humor and know how to appreciate the creativity of ideas. Otherwise, such a gift may be assessed as tactless, if not offended. Therefore dwell on the choice of an original gift is only if you are familiar with the destination and can confidently predict his reaction to such a surprise.
It is touching to tears ...
An intangible gift, or a gift, share, gift-account. The gift is intended solely for a single person. Written in his honor, poem or song, "memoir" of relatives, colleagues or classmates, this portrait from a photograph, a musical slide show. Such a gift is probably the best. Because it will cause a flurry of joy and positive emotions. Because it is made from the heart, with sincere feelings and desire to please. By the way, handmade gifts can also be attributed to this category of gifts. After all, if you are doing something for a man with his own hands, it is doubly valuable.
However, stopping at such a gift, remember that it is very personal, and therefore is intended only for especially close friends. So before you choose a gift for my birthday my mom (or dad), or on the anniversary of her grandmother on the occasion of graduating from high school (college, university), sister or brother, consider this gift options.
And in general approach to choosing a gift consciously. What will bring joy to someone you want to congratulate? That is the main question that you need to look for the answer when choosing a gift. And a source of such joy may be anything from an amusing trifle to a new car. Attend and give joy - that's your main task. So follow it.