Jealousy - the sister of love, just as the devil - the brother of the angels. (William Shakespeare)
Causes of male jealousy
What is jealousy
How to deal with jealousy
Men's jealousy there as much as humanity itself. And in the distant prehistoric times, and in this age of high-tech men they were and are the owners - is their psychology. Well they can not safely endure the fact that their women stare other males, they immediately calculate in mind the possible consequences of chance encounters, unexpected phone calls, and concerned their views of "opponents". To some of the women like that attitude, because it proves that a man is not indifferent to his beloved and is afraid of losing it. But there are women who for years suffer groundless, morbid jealousy of his men, accompanied by scandals and even beatings. Why men are jealous and how to cope with their zeal?
Causes of male jealousy
You can name a thousand reasons why men are jealous of their women. Now we are not talking about well-founded jealousy, when a woman gives herself a reason to doubt his loyalty and integrity. Unfortunately, most men harass her friends on a perfectly innocent reasons, such as a smile or a bunch of unknown passer-by on March 8 by the chief at work. They see a threat to the relationship, where it does not exist and can not be, bringing this woman to a white heat. So, what makes men behave this way?
To measure to your yard
Talk about a polygamous men have no one surprising. You see, the very nature of that kind of created a male-conquerors which to realize their own "proficiency" should be dragged to bed as many women. And the wife or girlfriend waiting at home, did not prevent them from continuing to assert itself with some ladies of outsiders on the side. That's just the idea that their legitimate second half suddenly want to establish themselves at the expense of their sexuality with other men, leads them into a frenzy. They did not allow themselves to instruct the horns, and their own betrayal - betrayal and not at all, and so self-indulgence.
Why, just the thought of adultery visit themselves, who can rule out the possibility of the same desire on the part of their wives? "If other people's wives have sex with me, so my wife could do the same," - that's where the legs grow from the jealousy of men! And therefore "graze" their hapless friends are, strictly thwarting any attempt to talk to the spouse with other representatives of the stronger sex. Whether it's a young lad nondescript exterior from next door, or a venerable old man with a noble intelligent-looking gray at the temples. It does not matter how big the chance to "rivals" really interested in a woman: it is important to notice and stop any attempts!
And from here begins and strict conditions under which the girl should not be painted, to wear skirts above the knee and generally talk to any homo sapiens who is not a legal spouse. Otherwise - accusations, scandals, insults, wearing down the nerves. Nothing that the tense situation at home and cried his wife, the main thing - neporugannaya men's honor and confidence in the absence of horns on a smart, able to calculate the head moves.
The desire to assert itself
There are men who are jealous and scandals with their wives only because they want to assert themselves at their expense. The weak by nature, they often fail in building a career, and trying to "show off" their masculinity and strength in the eyes of others. So look for the slightest reasons to take it out on his own wife. And jealousy - a good excuse to be rude, insult, humiliate and "put in place". Here they harass their unfortunate wives nagging and accusations.
He is a great pleasure to feel like the master of the house, have the right to urge uncomplaining wife - even though she would be responsible for all the wrongs inflicted fate. And accusing his wife of infidelity, men at heart understand the groundlessness of his words, but eventually convince themselves that they are right and begin to believe that she is really wrong. Such self-hypnosis they even hand perfidy and injustice of all that surrounds them - there is, and therefore the blame for all the failures in life is to someone else. For example, on-traitor wife.
All attempts by women to justify and prove his innocence to nothing lead. As much as it might like to explain the injustice of reproach, as if dutifully nor made concessions (sometimes absolutely ridiculous!), Her husband's behavior does not change. On the contrary, each time, when my wife begins to make excuses, the man even more convinced of its "rightness". All it takes for justification vygorazhivaniya, further proving guilt. And each such scandal, when the wife makes concessions, only to raise his self-esteem and causes continue to favorite strategy.
Sometimes a man, started dating like a girl, or even married to the woman he loves, can not quite believe his luck. Because deep down he believes that is not worthy of such a beauty, clever, etc. Self-doubt causes him to doubt the sincerity of the feelings of your partner and constantly waiting to catch sight of her infidelity and breakup. That is why this type of men prefer to control every step of his passions in fear of being abandoned and humiliated.
There is always someone who can provide decent, intelligent, attractive and stronger, so this man plagues himself and his companion constant scandals and accusations. Trying to always keep abreast of events, a man hoping not to miss a dangerous moment and to force a woman to give up their "insidious plans." Anything goes: from trying to cause a feeling of regret to the real threats. Some particularly "running instances" even blackmailed her friends, promising to commit suicide if they did not come to their senses and do not stop "change" them.
Some guys love to inflate out of molehills. You looked at a stranger? So you know it for a long time and arrange secret meetings, or why he so mysteriously smiling? If you call after hours and asked the chief small business advice on the issue, the real meaning of the call is clear: you encrypt and agree on the next date. By the way, is not that why you recently upgraded by the service? Such men are finding evidence of "infidelity" their wives everywhere, and continue to suffer suspicion even when they are alone with the woman: all of a sudden just now she is thinking about someone else?
Their imagination rages, logical conclusions go beyond any reality. And so to explain or prove his innocence to a man almost impossible. Sometimes women, exhausted by constant accusations and scandals about his "infidelity" begin to earnestly desire to change his tormentor really: if you still suffer, so they should at least be for nothing!
What is jealousy
Like it or not, and jealousy, too, is different. Otherwise, there would be some girls wanted to call it artificial, wanting to once again make love to her boyfriend. But some ladies not to complacency: the jealousy of men over the edge, and sometimes it becomes life-threatening!
Light, pleasant jealousy
Agree that if the man well, not the least bit jealous, it is even unpleasant. Let's say you danced the whole party with some macho, and my husband and did not lead eyebrow. All the same calm, sweet and indifferent to men's attention towards you. Here then I want it to be terribly bored you look or even caused the poor fellow macho "talk." That's a jealousy say, they say, is jealous - means love. And of particular concern women, it does not deliver, of course, if she herself does not go beyond what is permitted.
Plain, light jealousy - a perfectly normal feeling. Men - the owners and did not want to share the fact that they themselves expensive, with someone else. Rather, it says the feeling that the man is really indifferent to his girlfriend and serious plans for building a common future. And because such a sweet jealousy is welcome absolutely all the fairer sex.
Alas, not every man is able to think logically when it comes to jealousy. Instead, mild anxiety people experience such painful experiences, fear of being cheated his woman. They constantly monitor partners: check the phone does not allow to communicate with friends, calling for work to clarify the whereabouts of his lady. And for the five-minute delay can make a real scandal: that, and during this time you can manage to commit adultery. What is most interesting, from such people can be very attractive - sociable and friendly, good location cause in humans. And only the wife can know what this man really - suspicious, nervous, did not heed the voice of reason people.
To live with such a jealous man is not easy, because the woman has to constantly monitor his behavior, afraid to make a reckless act. When talking to her husband, she chooses his words carefully, afraid to touch up his negative thoughts before strangers behave "quieter water below the grass" - if only to avoid domestic scandals. Gradually, it is removed from its circle of acquaintances - friends, friends and even relatives. Because the rules of conduct imposed on her by her husband, is not compatible with the principles of companionship. Very often, the wife of hypertrophic jealous cease monitor their appearance and begin to turn into unattractive, aging persons. Their husbands is only on hand - so much less likely that someone "bite" to such a plain girl.
A person with pathological jealousy - this is an extreme case. Unfortunately, this does not mean that such cases are rare. Uncontrolled, unbridled zeal akin to disease - a man totally in control of his actions and is able to bring the woman is not only a moral humiliation, and physical violence. He did not need to look for reasons to doubt the infidelity of his wife - he sees them everywhere. It does not matter what course of action builds his woman - trying to deal with his attacks or blows meekly happening - in any case it will continue to look down upon it.
You can argue long about what causes women to continue to live with pathologically jealous. Maybe a difficult financial situation, the fear of loneliness or fear for their lives. In any case, they are not to be envied. Especially feared a man in a drunken state - and, as a rule, people with uncontrollable jealousy prone to drunkenness. In this state, they are not only able to beatings and even murder. And cases of such crimes in the judicial practice - a great many.
How to deal with jealousy
If you are lucky enough and your man jealous of you to a small extent, but only so that you will once again feel loved, then do nothing. Enjoy life and bathe in its attention. If the male jealousy gives you a lot of inconvenience, but you love that person and do not wish to part with it, it is worth to fight for his quiet life. We present you a few ways to deal with the jealousy of men.
As corny as it may sound, but just try not to give cause for jealousy. He does not like that your male colleagues call you after hours? Just agree with them, that all business issues can be solved only in the office. Its annoying that common gatherings with friends you dress too sexy? And it's not a problem: to look modest and stylish not so difficult to lose from such concessions will not leave you. And so on and so forth. Soothe sore ego of his men, and let them know, do not want to provoke him to jealousy.
Often men talk about how much you love him and that no one man can not be compared with him. Believe me, not only women "like ears": guys, too, want to be told about the feelings. Of course, it is not necessary to turn the words of eternal declarations of baby talk - this man can not stand. But make it clear at the right time, that he - the one and only, is necessary.
Learn how to safely respond to his accusations of treason, because you, you know who is right! If every time foaming at the mouth to prove his innocence, the manner of display you out of yourself and relieve stress by using scandals enters his habit. If the argument can not be avoided - go away to another room. Give him a chance to cool down and think about their behavior.
Try the examples to explain to him that unjustified jealousy can destroy even the most clean, bright attitude. Do not hesitate to tell what feelings are experiencing, listening to unjust accusations and allegations. In the end, marrying you, he promised to cherish and protect you as the apple of an eye. Instead it is exhausting nerves ridiculous suspicions, destroying your sanity.
Note that all these methods are good, if your man is not classified as pathological jealous. Otherwise, all efforts will be in vain, and tricks. This painful condition can try to cure by turning to specialists, but it requires the desire of the patient to change. And this is usually not the case. Such people believe that in all right, and would not be recognized in his mental unbalance.
But love works wonders, and if your jealous you genuinely in need, it may agree to try to cure his illness. In all other cases, the only advice to women who find themselves in a similar situation - to run away from his tormentor. The threat to health and life more important than your affection for this man. Not having children, or abandonment of all their habits and behaviors do not make jealous pathological change. A freed, you will still find their happiness - that the only one who can truly evaluate your wounded heart.
We advise to check: What is jealousy - how to fight it