For decades now, sexologists, psychologists, and ordinary people are scratching their heads over the question: what is the ideal age difference between men and women? Someone says that being happy husband and wife should be a peer, someone stands up for the difference in 4-5 years, while others believe that the family well-being and does not depend on how much older or younger one spouses. Agree, despite persistent opinion that worthless young girls to marry older men and boys to marry "adult ladies," all we can to bring a couple of examples of people very happy union with a big age difference. And they do not interfere with either the opinions of experts, sociologists, no devastating articles in fashion magazines: currently live quite happily, to the envy of others more equal age marriages.
However, neither see, and yet such marriages - rather the exception proves the rule, though. As if we do not treat loyal to various age marriages, for themselves and for their loved ones still consider more traditional alternatives. Who wants to own child joined her life with a man 20 years older than himself? And we ourselves, choosing a life partner is much older or younger than themselves, deep down we fear that nothing good will not bring such a union. Why is that? The reasons are quite a few, and in addition to the minuses, of course, there are pluses. Let's talk about how the age difference can affect the marriage.
Man 5-6 years older
It is believed that 5-6 years - this is the optimal age difference between spouses. In this scenario, the man, who managed to get some experience, have a more responsible approach to the issue of the relationship in marriage. In families with a difference of more babies born than the other unions, this has been proved by many sociological studies. Indeed, only forty representatives of the stronger sex are beginning to treat his paternity consciously that allows a woman to give birth to not one, but several toddlers. At the par-peer or alliances with a large age difference often lack any financial resources or desire to start a lot of children.
From childhood we accustom boys to the idea that you need to create a family only if they stand on their feet and be able to secure his future wife and children financially. Realizing that a successful man should plant a tree, build a house and raise a son, boys are not particularly eager to connect itself vows to a certain point. According to statistics, most men decide to have a family some 30 years, and his wife, they choose a few years younger than himself. These marriages are considered to be the most robust and successful, because they do not prevent the existence of any difference in the interests of the spouses, or the lack of "seed capital" since certain financial independence by the time men usually get.
Male 10-15 years older
Society is quite loyal to the marriage where a man older women more than 10 years. If the age difference is more to do with such a marriage, rather negative. Perhaps it's just a stereotype, because in Soviet times was greeted by an equal age marriages, and any of divergence from the norm is considered indecent. Now the family, where the age difference between men and women is 10 years, are becoming increasingly popular.
The man has time to a certain age to build a career, no longer depend on the views of family members with respect to their own family. Richer experience than the young wife allows him to build relationships rather than on emotions, but on the understanding of female psychology. My husband, who is older than his wife as much as 10 years, much less likely to commit those silly mistakes that so characterized the young guys in the early family relationships. They are tolerant of the shortcomings of its second half, wiser in matters of life and conflict resolution. In addition, their sexual experience allows to keep the beloved near, bringing it quite "mature" fun in bed.
A man 20 years older
A couple of hundred years, it was only natural, when a young woman married to a man, Godea her father. From such marriages were expecting stability and material prosperity. Now the situation has changed. Now generally agree on marriages between parents left in the past, women choose their own partners. And even if a young person decides to join her life with a man aged, then it immediately rained accusations - from its stupidity, ending commercialism. Few can believe in true, unselfish love between a young beauty and aging men.
Many scientists have concluded that such an unequal marriage age can reduce the life of the spouses: the constant gossip, gossip, and general negative attitude of others causes stress of husband and wife, which is not the best way affect their health. On the other hand, a man in his forties, married a very young girl, suddenly begins to look, and feel much younger than his years. It is as if it is fueled by youth and energy, throwing off from itself ten years. The same can not be said of his wife. Typically, a woman living in a marriage with a man much older than herself, begins to fade in his eyes. On the one hand, she subconsciously seek to match the appearance of age of the spouse, the other - energy "feeding" the husband does not go unnoticed, and she begins to age rapidly.
Of course, a partner in a respectable age and have experience and a favorable financial position, that's just off the hour when from attractive man with a light gray at the temples people turn into an old man with all the ensuing consequences. Unfortunately, many women are not able to realistically assess their chances to spend my life with an older husband, taking care of his health and his suffering senile quirks. And they certainly will - age will have an effect. We'll have to put up with the need to live a life of her husband and forget about a full sexual life. Of course, you can always have a lover; Only what a marriage is?
Also likely to give birth to a bunch of kids in these ladies will tend to zero, as in our day, most men of advanced age have a real problem with the possibility of conception. Of course, there are happy exceptions, but they are quite rare. In real life, few men older generation is ready to continue the offspring, and even more than once. Not only that, it's hard physically, so also to a certain age they tend to have children from other marriages. Why do they need in old age to take on your own shoulders, all these problems - the sleepless nights, diapers, undershirts?
Despite these seemingly insurmountable obstacles, happy marriages where the husband is older than his wife of 20 years or more there. True love works wonders, and many of the girls did not regret his choice. That's just for that decision like marriage should be balanced: women should understand that the gains and loses something through this alliance.
Women older than 5 years
While many contemptuous frown, having heard about the marriage where the woman is older than her husband, such families - are not uncommon. Not least because that 5 years or a little more - not such a big age difference. Especially if a marriage is contracted people over 30 years. This youth 5 years in favor of the girls seem to be an insurmountable obstacle, in adulthood this difference is almost imperceptible. Moreover, it has a lot of advantages.
The woman, her husband's superior in age, is trying hard to look young and attractive, that spouse is not interested in any other young creature. Such a wife and more experienced and wiser than his companion that helps it easier to relate to ordinary domestic turmoil and petty quarrels. It is also known that it was after 30 in women occurs blossoming of sexuality that it is able to satisfy the young husband. However, and minuses at such a marriage too. It would seem insignificant difference in 5 years may cause a woman to become jealous and suspicious, because the fear of aging before the partner and show him uninteresting and non-sexual - is quite large.
Women older than 10 years
Such marriages are quite rare, because men of all ages prefer girls younger than herself. And the older they become, the more they are attracted to the young maiden. These created their nature, men - are males, who spend their lives trying to prove to themselves and others that they - the most courageous, the strongest and sexiest. And that can emphasize the status of men is better than a young beauty, gazing adoringly into his eyes? Because some cases, when the guys fall in love with women 10 years older than himself, and marry them - not so frequent. Nevertheless, such marriages exist, and among them there are a lot of happy.
In order for a marriage where the wife is older than her husband of 10 years, was a happy, love alone is not enough. Unfortunately, love - one that is at the very beginning of the relationship - quickly. And then the couple have to face a lot of difficulties. This is normal for any marriage lapping characters, and testing of domestic difficulties and the problem of noticeable aging wife. Unfortunately, the nature of no escape, and at a certain age to hide wrinkles and other signs of decay becomes impossible. Any woman begins to feel anxious, comparing himself with young women has the same age as her husband.
Also very difficult to survive the backlash surrounding the fact that his wife was older than her husband of 10 years. On the men often look puzzled: that really could not find someone younger? The woman in this situation is almost directly accused of shamelessness and stupidity: "Absolutely crazy! He will throw you a couple of years! ". Not every couple is able to endure such pressure from friends and strangers, many just break down and disperse after a series of accusations and ridicule.
Despite all this, many couples where the wife is older than her husband of 10 years, it is possible to build long-term, harmonious relationship. If people have a common goal, if both are passionate about some business and immensely respect each other, the chance to create a happy family with them, of course.
Women older than 20 years
Everyone understands what motivates women who want to marry a man 20 years younger than himself. Feel attractive and loved want at any age. In addition, nobody canceled the saying "In 45 Like a young girl." At this age, mature, interesting woman is quite capable to turn the head to the young gentleman. But we must understand that the few young people who are not suffering from the Oedipus complex, is able to spend his whole life with the lady aging. Here or at the kid's mercantile interest, forcing a close eye on his wife's face, or inner psychological problem. And then, and another contributes little to a happy marriage.
We all watch the news with curiosity about famous women in advanced age, changing men, such as gloves. And in our country, and abroad there are many ladies who do not interfere with the age difference of 20 years or more for a family. That's just say about these couples 'happily ever after' is difficult, simply because examples of this - units. You may recall a few historical examples of happy marriages where the spouses have overcome all the difficulties of unequal age and were happy.
For example, the famous Anna Kern (the same one whom Pushkin devoted his poem) married Alexander Markov-Vinogradski, who was younger than her 20 years exactly. They lived together for 40 years and died in one year. Or Edith Piaf, whose last love - Theofanis Lambukas young, younger than her 20 years at the most. A year after the wedding, the singer died, leaving his beloved ones debts, but the rest of her life, he adored his Edith, and literally wore on his hands (she could not walk). Yes, such marriages are happy, but very, very rarely.
Sometimes peers spouses file for divorce a year after the wedding, but absolutely unequal age marriage, which according to the rules should not be successful, there are many, many years. Perhaps the optimal age gap - the notion deeply subjective, and everyone is their own. The main thing - this is love, mutual respect and a similar view of the world, and then even the big age difference does not hurt your man to be the best husband in the world.
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