Being the mistress of a married man - a hard life for every single woman. Because in spite of regular meetings and short-term tides of happiness, loneliness is not going anywhere. Eventually comes the realization that a loved one will never dare to break with his wife and marry you. Pass the months, years, and the present, a strong family with a loving husband and a bunch of kids as there was no and no. How to part with a married man, and give yourself a chance to find a person who will make you happy?
7 reasons to part with a married man
If you're reading this, it means that in your head already matured idea to get rid of the shackles and leave with a married man. And if, despite your intuition tells you that this relationship has no future at heart you are hoping to reverse, then we bring to your attention as much as 7 is quite rational reasons why you better leave.
According to statistics, less than 5% of married men divorced their wives and go to their mistresses. But what is the worst, according to the same statistics, more than half gone in a short time once again returned to his old family. There they were waiting for his wife and beloved children, there is an established way of life and a woman who long ago learned to tolerate his weaknesses and bad habits. Men are not too fond of the changes, and start from scratch to build a relationship where you can just have a good time, they did not really want to.
You agree that your meetings are somewhat similar to an endless candy buketny period (at least for him)? Travelers with you - a sort of holiday, a break from everyday life and family issues. You, in turn, all this time, do not stop trying to win it, and for this purpose to create a favorable atmosphere loved most - if only he did not want to leave you. And now, imagine - you are the husband and wife. Does it not seem strange that come into their legal rights, you are exactly the same as his ex-wife, will demand from him performance is not very pleasant duty.
What to do: family life - is not only a celebration, but also a series of daily cares and troubles. The period of romantic love to a lover ends in the moment when it acquires the status of a legitimate wife. And certainly your lover realize that you immediately turn from a nenadoedlivoy everybody understands mistress in a strict, demanding women. And what it makes sense to change "the flea"?
As much as you may be passionate about each other, but deep down you know that your lover is cheating and you and your family. Despite all the assurances of eternal love, every night he goes to his wife and children, where honest eyes lies something about the work of the later meetings. His wife could speculate about her husband's infidelity and seriously worry about it, but can not to notice, and to indulge in the happy conviction that she - the strongest in the world family. Certainly for myself, you would not want such a "happiness" - to be deceived by her beloved husband.
Yes, and you have it, in fact, cheating. Because it gives false hope for personal happiness, giving you as handouts, time stolen from lawful wife. From that, despite numerous promises to leave for some reason I am not going to.
After a rough sex with you, he goes home. And what do you think will be there to do? Sure, go to bed with a lawful wife. And if you believe in him that he no longer sleeps with "this frigid fool" that he loves only you and does not want anyone else, then you're just a naive child. Of course, he will convince you that sex with his wife for a long time in the past that you, and only you - his only sexual partner, but the truth of these words will not have a penny. Moreover, any man pleasing to the idea that his wish once two women, and that he could easily sleep with the one or the other. The main thing - do not confuse the names in the bed, and the rest - a trick.
Every normal man puts a lot of energy and effort into the development of his home, in the establishment of life. A few years after the wedding, he and his wife know each other inside out. She had learned to tolerate his bad habits, he knows what he likes for breakfast and what medicine to give him with a cold. Living with his wife, he gradually acquires the property: flat, car, country house.
Even soft feather slippers standing in his hallway, dear to him, as part of a home-like atmosphere, the creation of which he has put his hands. And, believe me, not every man is able to throw it all started to build their lives from scratch. Yes, he loves you, appreciates and loves, but prefer to live where everything is arranged and established many years ago.
You will be surprised to know that many men spend time with lovers because it helps them to maintain their own marriage. Coming home after a meeting with you, it is particularly kind to his wife, guilt does not allow him once again quarreling or accuse his wife in the small shortcomings. As a result - the wife of blooms and gives him the love and gratitude for the tenderness and understanding, and marriage grows stronger day by day.
Here are all forgotten in this situation about you and your feelings: what is to be free of the psychoanalyst and wonderful means to strengthen others' family relationships? Especially if you love this man and would like to return: that he left his wife and stayed with you forever?
Perhaps the main reason for which is to part with a married man - the inability to meet a normal guy to create a real family. As long as your heart is busy, you miss a lot of opportunities for exploring thus the only one that will not go away from you every evening for another woman. In the meantime, you meekly surrendering its legitimate lover "rival" - his wife.
Strictly follow, so that on his favorite left of your hair and the smell of perfume, yearn for all the holidays alone and run to the store for gifts for his children - in fact its something you have not appeared. If you do not want to stay until the end of the life of a lonely, it's enough to be comfortable toy for her lover - take life into their own hands and start looking for a worthy partner!
And if after all these reasons, your desperate thoughts come to mind like "Better this than remain without a man," "I'm with him just for sex, it is necessary for my health", immediately fold them. You deserve much more than a temporary shelter for not very decent man.
How to part with a married man
What can easier? He waved a pen and said "adieu" and that's it! It is quite possible, if you're dating a married man just a couple of weeks. But if your relationship lasts so long that it is firmly entrenched in your heart and you do not think without it existence, to say "goodbye" oh, it is not easy! You scared the idea that it is not necessary to wait for his call, he will not come to you after work and you'll be all alone. However, realizing that you feel bad without him, and with him a hard time, as overwhelmed constantly thought about his wife, children, the impossibility of a common future, it is necessary to pull himself together and put an end to the relationship. And how to part with a married man, and did not break the heart itself, we'll tell you.
Basically, you have only two ways to say goodbye to her lover. One of them - a quick, but quite painful for both of you. The second - slow, but able to alleviate your suffering. We'll talk about both.
The first way. Fast
The fastest way to part with a married man - it is right to say about their intentions. When people are in love of euphoria, most often their voices are silent minds, they are absorbed only emotion and passion. And in this case, a woman meets with a married man, absorbed more and suffering from an understanding of what will never be together with your loved one. And if you finally tired satisfied with the role of the second plan, it is time to put an end to your relationship. Although, frankly, your statement about the separation would be only the initial stage of the gap.
Do not cry and do not complain, saying farewell to her lover, or get to the bait, which already visited hundreds and thousands of women before you. To hear your complaints and claims, the man immediately begins solemnly assure you that it will be corrected, that things will change for the better and that everything will be fine. And our loving hearts women are not always able to cope with emotions, do you want to believe, and to extend the relationship with the dear man! Not only to extend the relationship, and the agony, because sooner or later, will still have to leave.
Say beloved terrible word "parting" is very difficult, but, unfortunately, the most difficult - to come. Even if he agrees with you and promise to leave you alone, it is possible that will still look for an excuse to meet you. And if you continue to see, the scenario of future events rather predictable: while you're struggling to portray that it's over between you, then, and do not soak into the arms of each other. Romantically, of course, but in this case your problem will not go away: you just be lonely and unhappy most of the time. So, take all efforts to avoid encounters with this man - at least as long as you are confident in their abilities. Block his number on your phone, go stay with a friend, put in the "ignore" in all social networks. Yes, it hurts, but in another way it is impossible.
Give yourself time to cry, and then remove all items from the house, reminiscent of a former lover. Ruthlessly discard or peredaril his gifts, send it in the trash forgotten scarves, socks, shaving kit. Make a permutation in the house, replace the bedding for the new - in other words, try to get rid of any reminders of this man. Do you think it's cruel? Much inhuman that make you his mistress, the man robbed you a chance for a normal family life. So - Down with him out of his life and immediately!
Tell your loved ones that are aware of your situation, that you broke up with a married man. Firstly, these people certainly support you morally and physically. Especially good cry and listen to advice from a woman, has gone through a similar experience - that certainly will raise your level of emotional and practical advice to help. Second, tell others about this separation, you will burn bridges for themselves and resist the temptation to meet that person again. And the longer you will not see it, the easier it will become.
It will take quite some time, and your pain subsides. In order to accelerate the process of "healing", expand the violent activities: go to the movies, visit, communicate with new people. Set a new goal - for example, to learn to drive, or create your own website from scratch. Any action that can distract your brain from thinking about this man, and the soul - from the constant experience, will bring you not only relief but also a real benefit. Material, spiritual - it does not matter, the main thing that you have self-esteem will rise and increase the level of knowledge and skills in any new field for you.
One caveat: do not throw in a new love relationship, as in the pool with his head. In order to begin to build a new relationship, you will need the time you have to devote yourself only. You should not run away from one man to another, better lay a path to his own soul. Think, Understand yourself and take it easy. And as soon as you feel that you have no more ties with former lover - feel free to go to the free swimming to find the man of your dreams!
The second way. Slow
Do you know how many people quit smoking? Someone throws a pack of cigarettes, promised himself once and for all to leave the bad habit. Some of them get to keep his promise, although the process of weaning takes place quite hard, and the other in a couple of weeks, do not stand back and taken a cigarette. But there is a category of people who quit smoking gradually, reducing the number of cigarettes every day. Something similar can be offered, and women who want to end the relationship with a married man painless as possible for themselves. Are you afraid that you can not break the link instantly? Then the part with her lover gradually.
Parallel to smoking shows no accident here and there, a man of strong emotional and physical affection, which is difficult to break. But unlike smoking, a woman meets with a married man, and still is experiencing tremendous emotional pain, from which there is no salvation. Therefore, if you are determined to break the vicious circle in which they themselves had driven himself and, begin to slowly move away from the object of his passion.
Every time I meet with her lover, ask yourself the question: "What do I get from this relationship and why do I need all this? ". We, the women, there are quite suggestible, and if every time you say to yourself about a meeting meaninglessness of your relationship, notice the flaws and bad character traits of a loved one, then soon it will cease to be such. Remember the movie "Charming and attractive"? There heroine told herself that she was the most beautiful and amazing woman, and it helped her to believe in themselves. You can quietly whisper something like "I do not like Vasya, he is a liar, and deprive me of happiness." You may laugh, but it really works. If you tell yourself it often enough, then each subsequent meeting with her lover will start to bring less joy. This means that you get away from it will be much easier than in the beginning of a relationship.
Alternatively, you can push the lover to the idea of parting with you. Change your behavior, changing from a loving, all agree on the woman in a kind of a bitch. Requires him expensive gifts, trips to restaurants, pester jealousy, scandals and cries. If you are from "safe haven" where you can enjoy spending free time from his family, became a source of constant nervous tension, your passion itself will not stand too long association with you and begin to move away. And in this case, to put an end to your relationship will become even easier. At this point you can decide whether to let him get away from you yourself, or throw it first. And in fact, in both cases the objective is achieved.
The slow way is good not only because it causes much less pain than a quick and decisive break relations. If you are currently thought to suggest that the meeting with a married man - a dead end, you can avoid such problems in the future. And that means you're out of the category of "eternal lovers' easily move into the ranks of" lawful wives. " But this is what you want, right?
We strongly recommend to read: How to safely leave the guy who loves you