Sex, orgasm, mad euphoria - all around just talking about it, sharing his impressions of a great feeling, obtained in bed. But what if after many years you have not learned to experience this miracle, this is a real orgasm? First, the constant attempts something in itself to change, testing new positions, training of the vaginal muscles, and in the end, the simulation of rapid orgasm. Familiar? In fact, despite the raspiarenny truth that all women end up passionately in bed, reach the peak experiences is far from each one of us.
And the thing is that some ladies just can not turn off your brain during sex. Instead enjoy pleasant sensations, they score their beautiful heads tens completely extraneous thoughts: whether a successful foreshortening visible partner breasts, not too hanging tummy, whether man nice, or he had enough. Then the same girl sad lament: they say, can not relax during sex, because orgasm does not occur. What to do, how to learn to really enjoy in bed without being distracted by trifles?
Excellent pupil syndrome
Lucky men - almost all of them can get an orgasm without much difficulty. The same they expect from women and, not realizing that we are organized quite differently. It has long been known that disable their analytical skills during the many girls simply can not do. This is especially true of those women that are accustomed to any matter in their lives to bring to perfection. They simply will not allow the partner to think that with them that something was wrong, because in addition to a successful career and a stunning appearance in the list of top-quality, and includes stunning sexy! And so with a clear conscience, they will simulate an incredible orgasms, and for whom the "Oscar" is not enough.
Here are just deep down they understand that missing something very important in life, do what you can and need to learn! Namely - to relax and switch off the brain during sex. Some American scientists conducted an experiment preinteresneyshy: a couple having sex, attach a bunch of wires and attach them to a special device. So, it was found that in women who had experienced a real orgasm, shut down those parts of the brain that are responsible for logic and reasoning. That is, they practically do not think, just feel the animal physical pleasure.
Constant, vigilant control anytime, anywhere - that's the slogan of an excellent pupil-perfectionist. It strains all year: at school, at work, in the home, and even in bed. And what, after all means necessary to perfect that "mosquito nose are not undermined." Here are just a total control over your body and mind can not be useful during sex - on the contrary, you will lose all chances to get a real, not invented pleasure. The pleasure and joy - are the real motivators for sex, not opinion or your own partner.
The climax or imitation?
Watching erotic films, the majority of women is how to look real orgasm. Here is a sample list of women's reactions, publicized in the movie: gently curved back, the girl produces a melodic scream, then shudders in rhythmic convulsions. However, it can cover the eye and languidly sexy shake shock chic hair. Beauty - no words! Here are just a real orgasm at such trick is hardly possible: at such times women are not to aesthetics. These convulsions orgasm resemble an epileptic fit, in fact, a woman may inadvertently release the contents of the bladder during orgasm. Poor is to portray?
After all, if you constantly focus on the beauties of actresses and models who starred in the erotic scenes, and you can earn yourself an inferiority complex! So if your man is exquisitely beautiful during sex, compared with the playboy of the movie? Certainly not, and you do not mind it at all. So what makes you think that your partner in bed is needed the perfect doll with a flat stomach and honed-graceful movements? That's right: be yourself and do not hesitate to unnecessary details.
Experienced sexually men can easily distinguish real from the imitation of an orgasm, and believe me, the special advantages you will not add to his discovery. Instead of developing his acting talent, representing the non-existent orgasms, learn to relax really. The only way you will be able to experience what is constantly in books and magazines.
Another reason why a woman can not relax during sex - is the first sex with a man and a desire to please him. At the very beginning of the relationship I'd like to seem perfect, passionate and incredibly sexy - the only way to bind the good guy! Therefore, it is not surprising that the first date a woman sexually excited, nervous and wishes in whatever was to make the best impression.
In principle, nothing wrong with that, such behavior could understand any of us. The main thing that these things excitement did not last too long, and you're not used to "show class" in bed for months or even years. Otherwise it is possible and without a sweet stay. You should not try too hard for the partner, playing the game, "Today I work for you." Sex - it does not work and does not even control means man, and the pleasure to be mutual.
It is clear that it will be satisfied with your zeal and appreciate the effort, but then get used to the villain, can. Deciding that you end it by the slightest touch, especially to try and do not be - you need it? So quickly tie with a period of "conquest" in bed and start to behave naturally and relaxed as possible. Before pretend-seductress Cleopatra, think: how long have you got from this man indelible sensations? Believe me, your partner, and it will benefit - he finally remembered her as a man-conqueror. In the end, he will be happy to your fury during an orgasm and is proud to be able to give you so much pleasure.
Orgasm - not an end in itself!
Many women are so keen on the idea of the need to reach orgasm that completely dismiss all possibilities to reach the peak of his body sensations. During sex they are anxiously waiting for the same will start the most "volcanic eruption", for which everything was started. "Now, now, a little more ... Damn, it did not happen again," - roughly the thought flashed in my head woman before a forced smile down on the pillows. This is not surprising, since any logic and thought processes - the enemies of female orgasm.
In fact, it is important to understand that an orgasm - it will come with time, in contrast to men, many women have to learn to feel it. The same US scientists conducted research which showed that forty-seven women interviewed for the first time received a discharge from masturbation, thirty-two percent - from vaginal penetration, twenty percent - of male affection and one percent - in a dream! And believe me, not all of these women learned how to have an orgasm at the beginning of relationships with men: sometimes achieved their first orgasm as much as forty years!
So get rid of the self-imposed stereotypes and just enjoy sex. If you stop harassing myself with the thought that you that something is wrong and that an orgasm - a mandatory item on the nightlife, you will begin to truly relax in bed. And this is the first step to getting your beauty, this long-awaited orgasm!
Causes of childhood
Many parents today are born women in the Puritan country, where the very discussion of sex is considered shameful. Intimacy was not customary to discuss aloud, let alone with their children - even more so. Brought up in the spirit of "sex - it's dirty and ashamed," the grown daughter and have not learned to treat this important aspect of family life freely. Tightness of his own body, the intimate caresses, and the idea that the bed was something indecent, prevents them from even for a moment to relax and have fun.
And in our time, we do not pay special attention to the sexual education of children, and even our mothers and grandmothers taught us is not exactly this science. Any child in a child open, inquisitive and relaxed, he do not hesitate he knows his own body and does not understand why adults are embarrassed to talk about simple things like. In order to be clamped and shy, you need a good society elders, which is a shame, scold and lecture, turning away from interest in sex for many, many years.
As a result, we face a whole generation of restraint, the frightened girls, who consider sex something repulsive and shameful. Of course, most of us have successfully coped with the stereotypes embedded in the consciousness of a child, but somebody has remained faithful Puritan principles. And what is there to relax and have fun, if you remember before sex that is not going to take a good physical act in the world, and a terrible, disgusting debauchery!
Quite often, the reason that she is not able to relax during sex, is the children's sexual trauma. And we're not talking about direct sexual abuse - emotional distress baby is so great that as an adult, to recover from such an attack and to learn to trust men again oh how is not easy! In fact, everything is much simpler: the parents of the first caught masturbating and brutally condemned, or a scandal, finding watching erotic scenes on television. The reasons can be mass, but the result is the same: a girl from a young age are given to understand any topic relating to sex, must not relax and stretch. And the thought goes through the whole of life, making it difficult to reach the peak of pleasure in sexual relations with a partner.
Sex - it's not shameful, sinful act, and perfect union of two loving people. And to deal with it is not only for the conception of children, but also for pleasure. The relaxed, excited by the proximity of man a woman - the dream of every sexual partner, regardless of age and temperament. For those girls and women who have suffered from the negative judgments about having sex with a child, the only advice - learn to respect and love your body. Your body is a lot of hidden villages that can make you really get and forget about fear and anxiety. And the easiest and fastest way to this - masturbation.
Masturbation as a way to explore your body
I have to say that decent, respected by all women also masturbate. There is nothing terrible in it is not, on the contrary - this method of self-satisfaction helps open new faces and experience the first real orgasm. Note that the majority of women have tried masturbation at a young age when sexual relations with men and was not expected. And as adults, they often resort to such a simple and natural way to get a discharge without the aid of his partner.
Perhaps if you have never done it, you do it for the first time will not be easy. Here the main thing - to discard negative thoughts and try to relax. There are many methods of masturbation, and if you hate to do it with my own fingers, you can use for this purpose a foreign object convenient or running water in the shower. Such ambivalent feelings further help to relax: on the one hand, you are deliver pleasure in the other - you do not touch the clitoris your hands.
Take a comfortable position, make sure that you are not distracted. If the voltage does not fall down, try to slow play music that is pleasant to relax. It will set you on a peaceful way, and you will successfully finish the job. The first time is always a little scary, but later you will start a lot more to understand and appreciate your own body. And remember, learn to relax and have fun with yourself - you can do it in bed with her beloved man.
So there are many reasons why a woman can not relax before sex, but they are not insurmountable. Learning to be relaxed in sex can be as easy as using a spoon and fork at the dinner table: a little bit of diligence, dedication and attention to his beloved. And most importantly, we must try to make perpetual tension and stiffness are gone, not only from the bedroom during sex, but also of your life as a whole. Otherwise, every time you have to restart the path to itself, and it is quite a difficult test for a woman who dreams of becoming happy.