That's all we kept saying "Sex - it's great, it's fine for his excellence should strive" and so on. We think that this truth has come upon all mature people. So, yeah not so. It turns out, many of them in one way or another there is a fear of sex, not only gives completely relax, but sometimes it does not even allow sexual relations. No, some trepidation and even fear of the first intimate contact with a new partner experienced almost everything. This is normal. There is another, more severe form of such fears, which makes people either completely give up sex or engage in them, but with a lot of stress. And it occurs quite often. What is it and can it be overcome?
Fear of sex in women
Perhaps female attempts to avoid sex with her husband has become a byword. The reason they are considered true, and that, they are connected with laziness, frigidity, fatigue and so on. Meanwhile, it turns out, more than a third of young ladies from the category of refugees from the intimacy really are afraid of sexual intercourse. Experts call this kind of fear erotophobia.
At the heart of erotophobia often are psychological problems of man. In most cases, these are some sex-related psychological trauma. But there is a fear of sex for women and for other reasons. For example, just the cognitive realm sex girl can side of the first sexual intercourse because she was still very inexperienced in these matters. This is normal and can hardly be called erotophobia because with age, it certainly will be able to overcome every girl.
But if the fear of sexual intercourse is present in thirty years, sometimes even women with children - this is not normal. Because it shows that in her mind there is a setting of the "sex - is bad, ugly, painful, humiliating." This chain form different circumstances. The most common of them - are too painful loss of virginity. Severe pain provoked and secured the conviction that sex - it is very painful. A conviction gave rise to the fear that is now very difficult to overcome.
Another reason for the emergence of women's aversion to sex - rape. This is understandable - such terrible events always associated with humiliation and very strong stress. Such trauma if they have not worked with a good psychologist, can not do without consequences. And sometimes such effects are simply fatal. It should be a man to touch a woman in her mind instantly pop up details of rape, forcing to relive the horror of those events.
Another reason women fear sex - education. Often, parents are told their daughters that sex is bad - because they want to protect them from early sex. Sometimes, it makes mothers or grandmothers, who have never experienced any pleasure from sex. And it happens that fathers, too jealous of their daughters to other men. One way or another, but the girl almost from the early age cultivated on the basis of sex for it is a threat. And avoid sexual intercourse with a man can be only in the presence of a stamp in the passport, and that if he very much insists on it. And even better - just a few times in my life for procreation.
Finally, sometimes the cause of the fear of sexual relations are being rude or insulting words of men. For example, he threw in a fit of anger, "Yes you're in bed does not stand! With you and sleep something unpleasant! "- And all. The woman felt worthless, unable to bring anyone pleasure. And we ate it also begins to look at failings - obesity, cellulite is not very attractive figure - the end. Done. Fear of sex is provided, to overcome itself it can not.
Well, something like this erotophobia present in a fairly large part of the young and not so ladies. Now let's see what fears have sex with our esteemed men.
Fear of sex in men
In our society, it is considered to be like male only dream about how to quickly put to bed or that nice young lady. They say that all men are obsessed with sex and just think about it, to seek him, to meet some young lady. In fact it is not so. Often, some boyfriend is afraid of sex are not less than its liability. And even more. And to overcome their fears to him no better.
The most common types of male erotophobia are:
Fear that the man did not leave. This fear lives in the subconscious of almost all men, but it becomes particularly acute after a similar already happened;
The fear that after sex relationships deteriorate and vulgarized. Yes, and the stronger sex craves romance. And it is not always in the representation of men is associated with sex;
The fear of being worse than the previous lover of women. This type of fear usually occurs when a young lady colorfully painted the sexual dignity of a Andrew, Serge, Petit. Or is she, or someone before her;
Fear of innocent girls. Exactly! Contrary to popular belief that men love virgins. In fact, almost half of them innocent is very scary. And because of that you can lose freedom, and due to the fact that the girl will hurt. Overcome their fear to hurt someone who is weaker, it is very difficult;
Fear demonstrate imperfections of the figure. Men are complex because of their appearance, no less women. They fear that the beloved, seeing a round tummy and not too muscular body, disappointed in his friend;
Fear of too rapid orgasm. Quick orgasm is sometimes at all. And if he repeated a couple of times, then men who doubt that they will have time to meet the Lady appears before intercourse a stupor;
Fear of a small penis. It is an unreasonable fear, but grafted all kinds of porn movies where the heroes of giant phalluses, it is rather a part of the place to be;
The fear of becoming a victim or aferistki intriguer. Well, a lot of this fear, however. Stories about how bachelors caught by dishonest give it through sex, a dime a dozen;
Fear of responsibility for their actions. Usually it is the fear of anger on the part of the girl's parents and the fear that she was pregnant;
Fear that a woman decides if her cavalier only sex. Yes, it happens. Both men are afraid of being branded finished libertine;
Fear of alienating the woman some sexual preferences. Quite understandable fear of men who are led to believe that the most proper sex - "sandwich". Everything else - perversion;
Fear of sex with beautiful women. He is among those who are convinced - the beauty demands of luxury. And the money that a man has, this luxury is simply not enough;
Fear of smart strong-willed women. In this case, it arises from the struggle for leadership and because of the fear that after the sexual relationship status of the leader will be lost;
Fear of contracting a sexually transmitted disease. No comments.
As we have seen, in its many aspects of male sexual fears resemble women's fears. This indicates that all of them - one or almost one origin. That is the fear of intimacy, with rare exceptions, the psychological factor. In most cases, it can be overcome without the aid of experts. The main thing - to believe that sex - is not something disgusting or too complicated. And to deal with it is a natural act, and knowable. And no appearance defects or little experience in the sexual sphere, nor the risk of consequences (pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases) should not create fear him.
Outside the person to whom stretches the heart, always the most perfect. Whatever it is. Little experience - not less. He often even attractive. It's so nice to open to the entire spectrum of intimate partner caresses, setting the stage for him and yourself at the same time. Well, to be afraid of pregnancy and venzabolevany nowadays generally unwise. There are plenty of means of protection. In general, in order to eliminate their fears, often need to be addressed in the experiments. Very well, if they are carried out with an attentive and sensitive man. And then the fear of sexual relationships over time disappear, freeing up space for the bright and free enjoyment. And it will be possible to have sex without fear.
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Here we often say that the male half of humanity during intercourse often, trying to reach the highest peak of pleasure, gives sexual fantasies. And yet for some reason we do not take into account that women's sexual fantasies occur no less. This is absolutely normal, because it allows the fair sex to get very bright orgasm. No, a woman can be the most satisfied with their partner's caresses! But we are so arranged that flashes slower men. So help yourself to be got together with loved ones, representing some is - sort of ...
What is the difference of women's sexual fantasies of men?
In principle, many of the paintings sex fantasies of both sexes are quite similar. Here are just nuances of these pictures are different. What is are these differences? Well, for example, and those and others can present themselves in bed with several partners at once. Men in this case focused on the juicy parts of the body mates, women just see the body language, hear the sounds, but elements of the male figure and it does not represent.
Women's sexual fantasies directed at the emotional reaction of his creatures, men are focused on the body's physiological review. The atmosphere of the fair sex fantasies often romantic. The stronger sex prefers to think of anything, but usually there is no romance at all.
In the women's sexual fantasies more creativity. The weaker sex can reinvent the surrounding atmosphere, postures, techniques, especially sexual contact again with each act of intercourse. Men also tend to be repeated. That is why many of them are very fond of when the Lady voiced what is in the details. After boring repetition and novelty, and even such a great and frank, incredibly starts.
And finally, in the sexual fantasies of the fairer sex is rarely present fetishes that simply abound fantasy sex strong. Generally, you can talk a long time about the differences between intimate fictions women and men. But, actually, what does it matter? Different and different, think! Everyone is free to choose with whom and how to have sex in his own imagination. Let's see what are the most common female fantasy and what to do with them. After the erotic sphere of human experts argue that it is possible to determine what is missing in the intima of one or another of the fair half.
The most common female sexual fantasies
Well, truthfully say that there is currently invents most of the women, of course, can not be - who will be the right and left to talk about it? But some idea of what is known sexologist can be done. Well, what are the weaker sex intimate fantasies?
Sexual intercourse threesome
. This is a fairly common sexual fantasy women, in which a third party can be a man or a lady fairer sex
. Argued that such a fantasy suggests depravity woman, her carefully concealed
. Nothing like this! These pictures, she just wants to prove to myself that very sexy and can excite many
. What to do with this fantasy? If a permanent partner - a man without prejudice, why not talk to him frankly and not try to implement it? Today threesome - not so fancy! Well, if it is - a big jealous, it is better to remain silent
. Otherwise, you may run into rudeness
. And that is not hopelessly dream of threesome and more, you can offer to the owner of this sex game
. It consists in the following
. Man tying a woman's eyes and then gets up with her all that pleases
. This will give her the opportunity to withdraw completely into their imagination and feel caressed by several partners;
Intimacy in public places. Quite a lot of women in their sexual grёzah imagine that having sex at absolutely no designated places. That is where there is a considerable risk of being caught by someone. The very thought of it excites an extremely young ladies, often forcing them to reproach himself in vulgarity and promiscuity. In fact, neither dirty nor very loose, they are not. Just a fairly large proportion of women for a true and complete excitation needed jitters. So he comes from the danger of someone outside. What to do with this fantasy? Yes, tell her partner, and that's it! About such dreams of the vast majority of men. A dream a reality is a snap. You can have sex in the park, on the sea beach at night, on the balcony, but even in the elevator finally;
Sexual affection with the representative of the same sex. These sex-fantasy does not indicate that at all fond of them women - lesbian tendencies. Typically, dream-like pictures those who have sex with men are too rough and fast. They want gentle and long caresses, which endows the woman in his dreams. What to do with such a fantasy? To bring in a partner attentive and sensitive to your body. A good way to such education - joint viewing an erotic film or cautious man demonstrating his erogenous zones with a massage or a prelude;
Hard Sex. Fantasies of the intima with elements of sadomasochism peculiar to women, sexually enslaved. They need erotic release with the help of a few aggressive impact. And no matter to whom it is directed - by the woman herself or her partner. In fact, the fairer sex are not sadomazohistki in the full sense. They are just a few of internally enslaved. What if it dreams of this kind? Ask a partner to be a little rougher. Let him slaps on the buttocks, biting nipples, lips and earlobes, slaps on the clitoris. This is the normal way of caresses, practiced by many couples. Well, if the partner with bewilderment or even rejection listens to us, you can just afford to purchase a toy in a sex shop. Handcuffs, leather underwear and other personal belongings of a sexual nature - a good incentive that can encourage men to become more active in bed;
Rape. I must say that this fantasy is unlikely the women who would like to translate into reality. But in dreams, she is quite harmless! Why the fairer sex imagine a picture of rape? The reason for this is usually clamped in sex due to upbringing. Ever since childhood they were taught that being in bed unfettered indecent, dirty, ashamed. However libido requires a passion! That woman is dreaming about how to initiate sex was dissolute man. And it would be just a toy in his hands and would not feel any remorse. What should I do in this case? Try to put on an act of rape with a spouse or partner. Let vorvёtsya room, frustrate clothes shvyrnёt on the bed or on the floor and force possess. Tell a man about this need, colorfully describing all the details. Surely he is extremely excited and will do everything as it should;
Sex with a stranger. No such sexual fantasies are not a sign that a woman is dreaming about infidelity to her husband. She just wants to add flavor to the already familiar intimacy, no matter how full it is. In sex with a stranger has the novelty and the lack of any obligation. This allows you to take pleasure in its purest form. What if we have the fantasy of this kind? Agreeing with a regular partner on that he invited on a date. Meet and behave as if seeing it for the first time - to flirt, flirt, tease. And then go to a hotel room or on a removable apartment and have sex. When sexual intercourse to imagine it happening in the first and last time. This will help completely liberated. And in the morning to get up earlier than men, and go home alone;
Participation in the shooting of erotic film. Such fantasies are usually visited by a very sexy, but feel free to this women. Perhaps they were led to believe that his naked body to be ashamed of. Or the young lady has been brought up in the Puritan spirit partner, constantly turning off the lights before intimacy. One way or another, but a woman who dreams of complete undressing in front of camera, clearly lacks the full looseness in bed. What if these sexual fantasies? Arrange striptease, including houses nightlight. And then, under the soft music, slow to take off all my clothes. For a start it can be done alone, standing in front of a mirror. And then already before man. Not bad to be put next to the bed a large mirror to see all the details of sex. Or remove the proximity of the camera, and then from time to time to view the video clip. It teaches not to be ashamed of their nakedness.
Watching as a man masturbating. Dreaming of a similar spectacle woman most likely interested in what the mechanism of male arousal and orgasm in detail. Or wish to partner fully revealed to them. Maybe these ladies are not quite sure that the man is perfectly intimacy with them. Anyway masturbation in someone's presence - an act signifying complete confidence. It allows partners to be very frank with each other. How to deal with such a fantasy? Talk to a man about how he imagines the perfect sexual intercourse. And ask him to demonstrate the process of self-satisfaction. Confused? Well, then you can do this very hand that will give the opportunity to see firsthand how a man reaches the peak of pleasure.
In general, all our sexual fantasies are a reflection of our erotic needs. Do they embody in life is not whether - the question is individual. Perhaps what we imagine in grёzah, did not want to try out in reality. Not so easy to admit a threesome, or go to bed with a stranger. Firstly, it needs to overcome the internal barrier. And secondly, Implemented fantasy might disappoint. Well, be that as it may, the main thing - not from complexes because of their sexual imaginations and not be ashamed of, no matter how depraved these inventions may be. They - only a good way to initiate yourself and get maximum pleasure from sex.