Sex after her divorce from ex-husband - a phenomenon quite common and quite controversial in their need. In fact, the relationship between husband and wife after parting usually consist of several types. They quarrel and fight, or almost to the end of his days, or leave and completely forget about each other, or - less frequently - only retain friendships. At the same time, there are many couples who after parting passion wakes up with renewed vigor. Because divorce is allowed them to realize the full value of his former halves.
Intimacy after divorce can be and those who are divorced, but not separated. After the divorce is not always the actual termination family relations. There are people who use it as blackmail or a reason for the surge of emotion that during the joint life dim or disappeared altogether. Finally, after leaving the proximity is possible and those who are hostile. This happens usually in the case where the former spouses are common at work or in the company of friends in common.
In other words, the probability of intimacy between the former spouses is quite high. And often it is translated into reality. Sometimes because both still remember their former passion, sometimes - because the husband or wife is still cherished hopes for a resumption of relations. And sometimes it happens because of the proximity of the long absence of both her or someone one of the pair. Still, going to bed with someone already well know, it is much easier than with the new partners.
Should we tolerate this situation and what its pros and cons?
Intimacy after divorce. Features and problems
In an intimate relationship with her ex-husband usually accept women who are still unconsciously broke up with him. To call such a situation a normal can be a stretch. It often happens that in fact the couple broke up, but continue to meet only for sex. That is, the parting, they admitted their failure and inability family together to build a lasting relationship. And now, bring them to the commonplace copulation, thereby reducing their chance to create another family. Yes, for some time after the divorce closeness solve the problem of loneliness. But only at first. If the former husband and wife are going to look for other partners in life, sex should be discontinued. Otherwise, they would give rise to psychological instability and prevent a new relationship.
Overall, intimacy with her ex-husband after the divorce - a dangerous thing. Sometimes it is an attempt to both spouses escape from reality or to escape from despair. This is especially true of women, who are often sex toys for men hoping to get them back. Men are much less likely to close after breaking up, as something serious. Sometimes they even leave her for another woman, but keep the habit to sleep with my ex-wife. On what she was feeling at the same time experiencing a man usually does not think. A poor thing, probably, is incredibly hard to realize that once ardently loving and beloved, almost native people now has another woman. And after sex will go to her.
If the situation develops in this way, she will get better within a few weeks after the divorce did not meet with her ex-husband. Otherwise go through the stress will be very difficult. If the meeting can not be excluded because of the teamwork and regular contacts with common friends, then it is necessary to rule out the possibility to stay with the ex - spouse alone. This will minimize the possibility of intimacy and re-discuss the causes of separation.
Sometimes sex after divorce is due to the fact that the husband and wife are forced to stay under the same roof or continue to actively engage in the education of the common children. In this case, perhaps, there is a good chance to restore former relations. There are chances for recovery even when the cause of the divorce was a decline in sexual interest of the spouses to each other. As we have said, a divorce can cause a sharp rise of interest. And sometimes it happens that the marriage broke up like, and sexual desire remains. Here, too, there is an objective opportunity to start all over again. Because the separation often leads spouses to reconsider their views on the relationship, realize their mistakes and understand how to live.
For example, split up the family, which was originally created on the basis of mutual love. The sexual component is held in the relationship of husband and wife is one of the first places. Over time, the life and routine of dull the senses. People slept in the same bed, doing chores, work, raise children. And it seems to have forgotten about his original love. And then I decided that she was gone completely, and that living together does not make sense then. The result of this decision was the divorce, suddenly turned to both spouses are very painful. The first memory surfaced happy days. And love, and with it the sexual desire, broke out with renewed vigor.
This situation is not uncommon. In fact, the couple continued to love each other, but of a passionate love transformed into a more mature and calm. Do not know the characteristics of family psychology husband and wife took it calm as the extinction of the senses. The relationship appeared chill of alienation, to overcome which they failed. The result of this was mutual claims, insults, quarrels and absolute helplessness in the face of impending family tragedy. In the end, the couple divorced. But love is a continued and continues to live! Because of this, they can not create a new family, because all his new acquaintances compared with ex-wife and her husband. A sex with former halves was just an obsession.
It is unlikely that such a pair can be somewhat reproach. Unfortunately, men and women do not learn to live in peace and harmony. If the assignment of their half, and the ability of understanding have not been vaccinated parents have to learn the science of marriage in the process of experience. However, this is a very complex and lengthy process, the foundations of which are not for everyone. Hence - the ice in relations between close friends, from here - the mass of maimed destinies, hence - divorce, loneliness, and growing up in single-parent families, children.
Drama? Yes. Is it possible to resume the relationship after the divorce if the husband and wife were simply ignorant family area? When they realized their mistake, and continue to love still - also yes. It is only necessary to note that the way the family is dependent on the relative position and the desire to protect his mate from the storms of life. A desire not to create these storms.
So, to what conclusion we come from? Sex with my ex-husband is possible, but only if both spouses are lonely and feel mutual attraction. If at least one of them feels that separation has made life happier, better to avoid sex. It can cause psychological ambivalence and uncertainty that adversely affect the likelihood of another marriage. And the husband and wife in this case it will be better to move away as much as possible and resist the sexual attraction to a once-loved one. Any good it will not.
And now - some tips for women who can not decide whether to admit sex with her ex-husband after the divorce.
Tips divorced women
We have already said that the divorce is not always necessary and is often mistaken. People differ, but the psychological and physiological desire remains. What woman do in this case?
- If you save a sexual attraction to the ex - wife, and it is one, not overwhelm it. It is possible that sex with her husband after the divorce will lead to a new round of relations with it, and the family will be happier and more robust than ever before. We only need to try to forgive each other all the insults and abuse, and not to repeat its past mistakes. Examples where the family recovered again and then there a very long time, a great many;
- If the former spouse remains alone, but the intimate relationship, do not force him. And certainly not in any case not to make joint child into an object of speculation. Quite often there is this too: former wife offers her husband like to come to the children, and then he will openly tries to seduce him. Sometimes even that it threatens to ban male meetings with children, if not to resume sexual activity. It is inefficient and rough way to return her husband. He could agree to sex, but at other times is good think before you visit the home of the couple. Men do not like when they so grossly mismanaged and manipulated;
- If the husband after the divorce continues to maintain warm relations and often comes, but proximity is not resolved, open and friendly to talk to him. To resumed relations need mutual consent. First, of course, should be to find out the true cause of divorce. It is very possible that it was sex, which used to be the main component of the marriage, and then turned into a routine. In this case, the woman should ask a man what he expects from her in bed. And if you find that it lacks the temperament and emancipation, work on yourself.
Then, when the divorce behind him, but the pain does not go all the way, even to talk to the former spouse is necessary. What if he, too, is suffering, and regrets that he lost family? In the end, divorce - it is only a formality, does not oblige people to be separated for ever. Always remains a chance to change lives for the better.
By meeting with the ex - husband, it is necessary to prepare and try to look to strike his fancy. But it can not be brought before the former pious in aggressively - porn movies. Yes, he can seduce, but with the same success can then push a man. Still, from his own half he needs not only sex. Therefore it will be better to give your appearance an easy unobtrusive eroticism and mystery which attracts far more explicit proposal of the body.
Well, if after the divorce, it is clear that the return to the past will not be a woman's best to keep a distance from her ex-husband and try to meet with him as little as possible. This will allow her to understand themselves and find new goals in life. Until that happens, we should not rush to search for a man with whom you can establish a new relationship. It is unlikely that they will be successful, because women still remained a suitcase issues from a previous marriage. It will certainly bring it with another family. As a result of the new marriage will be unhappy again.
To avoid this, immediately after a divorce is necessary to avoid any intimate contact and try to calm down and understand themselves. Only after the internal chaos will become at least a semblance of order, we can seriously think about getting acquainted with other men. Thus, if the pass the time in bed with her ex-husband, chaos will reign in my heart for a long time. So why deprive yourself of the possibility of a new happiness? It is better to be free from the past completely and boldly move forward to a happy and prosperous future!