Human relations - something extremely complex. More recently, between the man and a woman (or a husband and wife) was dominated by love and understanding - and suddenly, seemingly for no apparent reason began quarrels and disputes over trifles. As a result, each meeting has evolved into a series of conflicts that arise out of nowhere. What is it? End of love? What to do? Do not be in a hurry to finish. This is just the first crisis in the relationship.
Causes of the crisis
When the man and woman in love start dating, they, of course, counting on the fact that their meetings would always carry a positive emotional. And that relationship will be formed easily, without stress and innuendo. Well, how could it be otherwise? After all, they understand each other, so will always be able to find common ground and overcome all obstacles! However, sometimes it takes a little time, and a full understanding disappears somewhere, there is dissatisfaction with the actions or words of each other, and irritation that occurs from every detail. The result - the endless quarrels, often leading to a complete rupture. Amazing in this nothing. And the gap between men and women often wrong. Because the crisis is the first year of the relationship survive almost anything, even a very loving couple (they just do not always know what they do now).
Why is this happening? Because in any dialogue taking place for quite some time, sooner or later there differences. Normal relations without quarrels and conflicts do not happen. Even if a man and woman are very much in love with each other, they are two separate individuals with their individual character traits, his own aspirations and views of the world. And the causes of the crisis of the first year relationships are precisely these differences, which in the heat of the original passion we often forget. And often by the inexperience just do not take them into account, what to do, in general, and it is impossible.
"How? "- Someone will object -" What's the difference ?! We are with my beloved husband (boyfriend) exactly the same! Our outlook on life completely coincide, we have the same interests and aspirations, and we always try to do everything together! Therefore, there is no crisis in the relationship and can not be! How did he come from, if we simply do not because of what the quarrel? ". Of course, there are those couples who have all the same. And the king in the relationship between husband and wife, the quiet, smooth surface so completely satisfied with their way over the years. But practice shows that most of "the quiet, smooth surface but fret" both get bored, and the couple who seemed so robust, suddenly breaks down quietly. Therefore, it can be said that the crisis in your relationship - is a kind of indicator of the normal process of development of these relations and the most progress in the adaptation of men and women to each other.
Quarrels between men and women in this period of crisis may occur from scratch, regardless of their desire and will. The reason for them can be every little thing that, in fact, no meaning in life has not. From the little things add up a whole series of conflicts, and now none of the two could not remember where to start disagreements and tries to find another non-existent faults, and reproaches himself for the fact that before this pseudo-flaws noticed. And he comes to the conclusion that he was mistaken, and the relationship time to stop until it's too late, and what to do some steps towards reconciliation simply makes no sense. Here - stop! When a crisis in the relationship, we all tend to attribute negative qualities to each other, which really is not in sight.
Blinded by his emotions, we can easily break away from her husband, who, after a wave of emotions subside, again seem the only and the best in the world. And God forbid, that in this case failed to return everything back. But it often happens otherwise: a loved one, a temper have done all sorts of matters already irretrievably lost, and now even his head against the wall beysya, and no return to the past. One can only regret it and try to forget about the last moments of true love. How to be, what to do? How to overcome the crisis in the relationship and understand what it really is a crisis, but not the original death of love?
How to survive the crisis in relations
So our mutual infatuation and enthusiasm of knowing each other from somewhere suddenly disappeared, replaced by the constant bickering and figuring out who is more right. And now, one begins to seriously doubt his choice and sees chosen quite a different light. Do not rush to conclusions. At such times, the main thing - patience and the ability to look from the outside on their own actions. Perhaps this lack of restraint we show and loved provoke conflicts, trying to hang on to his every step? If so, it is necessary first of all to do is to try and develop his character of such qualities as patience. It is in two respects akin to magic wand - always help at critical moments, and love will save from destruction. This - the main answer to the question, what to do in difficult situations and how to survive the crisis in the relationship.
If you are still loving couple suddenly begins a period of conflict, both need to hack to death on your nose: in any situation is always a reasonable solution. So hurry up and take crucial decisions about the break is not worth it. Break all very easy, but to re-create ... It's better not to make hasty steps, and find a compromise based on respect for each other. It should be borne in mind that a man and a woman - as different poles of the globe. They have a different mindset, different psychology, different attitude and stance.
Often, inexperienced girl, who do not know how to experience a crisis in their relationship with a guy, wrongly attributed to it their own views of the world. Do not make this common mistake! Men think differently and perceive a crisis in its own way. Typically, the stronger sex seeks to avoid scandals, so if they become frequent, many guys just refuse to even meet with a very desirable woman. If the favorite comes exactly a girl should examine their own behavior, to see whether it is not the instigator of the constant bickering and whether these quarrels weighty reason. Otherwise attempts favorite somewhere to hide may lead to an undesirable outcome: sooner or later it just finds a more quiet area.
Of course, before you think about how to overcome the crisis in the relationship, you need to carefully reflect on whether there is more between the husband and wife love. Maybe, in fact, this is not a crisis, and the death of love, to experience that for too long there's no point. This girl is desirable to solve the issue together with the man, quietly told him their claims.
When someone starts to doubt your feelings, you can leave for a while to understand, but is it really so you need this man. If it is difficult without it, the world has become dull, and life seems pointless, then, is to think about how to behave when strained relations occur. If a day or two, we begin to forget about the existence of previously loved one - well ... Then it is better to leave and not to take each other down.
When we are convinced that we need people, and conflicts - it is really a consequence of the crisis in the relationship, you need to think about whether we are reconciled after a quarrel. After the armistice - is a science. Typically, girls think that a guy has to make the first step towards it and take a wait, even if aware that the conflict they are wrong side. Man, in turn, does not want to go on about his beloved, and also waiting when she will step out to meet him. How to be in this case?
Of course, all women like men to beg their forgiveness, dropped to his knees and fell asleep flowers. Especially they aspire to that, when a crisis in your relationship; women are very vulnerable emotionally, and such crises are always a great shock to them, leaves a deep impression. Favorite on her knees with flowers - is a kind of medicine for suffering a stress, the ability to smooth out its negative consequences. But !!!
Let's think about a cute girl, about to whom we can turn such a courageous man, if we start breaking it constantly, forcing kneeling whether there are any, to ask forgiveness for what he is not guilty. As a result, if a person is sufficiently malleable, we get instead of a strong willed man, completely dependent on the subject of our opinion, is not worthy of love, and, at best, be forgiven. At worst - contempt. Well, if our beloved has a persistent character, then sooner or later the regular swelling on his knees bother him; manhood - a powerful thing! And then he either force us to respect this dignity, or simply disappear from our lives. A loss of this man - a great loss.
Here, in order to avoid the consequences of such crises in relations, let us, dear girl, learn to make their own steps towards reconciliation. After all, we are interested in the preservation of relationships, and that next to us was a self-sufficient, reliable man, not a wimp and a wimp, which is absolutely impossible to trust yourself. In addition, it is given to us by nature be wiser and more patient, and it is we, and not men, endowed with great ability to forgive. Therefore, we will not take the place of severe accuser, true happiness is not to build on this.
However, do not build it, and if we, even when there is a crisis, fully adapts to a loved one, trying to guess all his wishes and to please him in everything. To what good it will not only give rise to a feeling of contempt for the guy to us. Always behave decently and every minute we must remember that every girl - a person of character, beliefs and aspirations. And the identity of a need and respect the most, and make others respect it. Therefore, to exit from conflict situations should be able to choose a path that will not be damaging to our personality.
In short, a truce - the art of respect and to his beloved, and to itself. You need to learn this art, because it is the most conducive to how to overcome the crisis in your relationship with the minimum risk of collapse. How did he learn? Where to begin? Here are some good tips that, at first glance, have little relationship to the ability to tolerate; However, these tips help you become closer to his beloved, he has the right to form an opinion of himself, and in himself - about him:
Before solving a serious relationship, we think about what we like in people, what their character traits are annoying, as we see ourselves in love and what we think their weaknesses. This will help to determine the own behavior in relation to the stronger sex, and self-control, if necessary;
If the relationship is already there, we think about how much we care for people and whether efforts to overcome the crisis. If a particular desire to be with him the rest of his life there, the question of a truce after the conflict will disappear by itself;
In meetings with the beloved of him trying to create the most complete view learning as much as possible about his tastes, habits, outlook on life and stuff. To find out how we are compatible with it and how it will behave in critical situations, in case of disagreement with something in his views openly express their point of view, watching his reaction (not only that, but it will do) ;
If there is disagreement we are trying to be honest with yourself and try to understand the true causes of discontent Man our behavior. If he has a reason for this dissatisfaction, trying to adjust their own behavior.
Take care of your happiness!
We now know that on the crisis are not only time, but should be, because they are the moment of truth. And they need to overcome patiently and persistently, otherwise about any long-term relationship with a decent man can not be considered. Particular care and attention is necessary to approach to the first crisis in the relationship, it was he more than any other is able to very quickly destroy even a fragile union of two hearts. If we reckon with our loved ones and to respect their opinion, our chances of happiness will increase significantly. And what, my dear girl can be in this world of all-consuming desire it, such a powerful and all-conquering women's happiness?