What should not be done if the man kept to himself
How to effectively communicate with men
How to teach a man to listen to you
The last tip
Anything can happen in our lives, and not always our days are cloudless. Let's say you and your husband (or boyfriend, whom you have seen in your dreams as such) there was a misunderstanding. And your man is silent, withdrawn into himself, and to communicate with you does not want. The vast majority of us, the women, then click the big red button with the word "panic": guard !!! Our man does not love us anymore!
Let's not panic right away, but rather try to understand why this happens to our guys. First of all, it is worth remembering that we are - are very different. We think, and, consequently, do not act the same way. With this in mind, we will be able to experience the guys communicate with us, beautiful ladies.
Let's start with the bad: if a man have fallen out of love, how can you know?
10 signs that a man fell out of love
If you notice in the behavior of men more of the following symptoms, you have to admit that he no longer loves you, whether you like it or not:
He stopped calling you cute nicknames (hare, Pupsik, baby, etc.), which came up at the beginning of your relationship.
A man pulls away when you try to be gentle with him, especially if you do it in public. For example, earlier he liked while traveling in the bus, you stroked his hand, and now he takes it away and put them in his pocket.
He started to say something that obviously could be offensive or objectionable to you. For example, a man suddenly tells you that you are very much plainer because of weight gain, and you need to lose weight. A loving person never going to say that, even if it considers that to try to lose weight really worth. He does not want to hurt you!
The man begins to flirt and actively communicate with other girls right in front of you and when you complain that you do not like it, he says he would not mind, if you will communicate with the other guys.
Your guy is no longer tells you about how his day. And anyway, he did not want to talk to you as much as you spoke before.
Increasingly, men spend their weekends with friends, and he never invites you into his company.
Suddenly he begins to call you by another woman's name, but still no apology while. Rather, it is the name of the woman who now occupies his thoughts.
A man comes home very late, and it does not want to explain where and why he was so late.
He was very angry, if you start to accuse him, he has changed a lot and do not want to chat with you as before. The man does not want to explain anything, he took a defensive position and even starts to yell at you.
He does not understand why you are complaining that his behavior toward you has changed, and not try to correct their mistakes.
If your man began to avoid such actions, it is very likely that he really stopped loving you. And if so, do not try to force it to be the same - you will not succeed. Chances are, your relationship lost value for him, and he decided to move on. What to do in such a case? Let him go, because love can not be still. Free in his heart for another person who will be happy to make you happy.
What should not be done if the man kept to himself
It is not always a man begins to avoid contact because out of love. Typically, isolation has appeared due to the fact that guys do not like it is typical for us to respond to any problems, because of their psychology and perception of reality is much different from our psychology and our perception of the world. And if at the time when a man is considering the issue and bears in itself a solution, behave properly, it can actually cause a serious blow to your relationship. How should do in this situation?
Do not press down on it
Meeting with some concern, the man should immediately resolve it. This algorithm was formed thousands of years, and only such a model of behavior of men allowed in the old days to survive themselves and help their relatives to survive. Modern guys have kept this behavior pattern, she laid them on the level of genetic memory. There is a problem - it is necessary to disconnect from all that distracts from thinking about ways to solve this problem.
We women often do not notice that we create such problems for their men literally one after the other. We can simply note in passing, for example, we have seen in the shop pretty boots, and we have, by the way, in the winter, and there is nothing to wear is, after all bought last season bad boots combined with fur. Incidentally, the coat - it has long been out of fashion! And so on. We are able to wind a ball of problems, and just wanted something to talk about favorite boots.
But the man quite differently perceive what we said. He understands that the task in front of him - his wife or girlfriend badly dressed, and this, incidentally, is a reproach to him as miners. He immediately begins to scroll in the head all the possible solutions to this problem. Analyze wardrobe favorite, consider whether there is a more important upcoming expenses, pretend, how much revenue can be expected and whether somewhere to earn.
If he is well enough and provides you with clothing, in particular, you buy often, it can even be offended - it turns out, no matter how hard you try, but you will still reproach him for what he is bad you provide. But we were just talking about those boots were said to be a picture of the museum - he does not think that we want him to buy us the picture ?!
So, the guy emptying the heap of problems we literally driving him into a corner. Any man tends to act immediately, solving its task, and if the problem is really serious, he needs time to think about it. He locks himself in his psychological "cave", not wanting anyone to share their thoughts. Man so understands that if he can not find a solution on their own, it is not a man, but wimp. He may ask for our opinion about his decision already, but just to make sure that they are right and get you some additional advice.
Therefore, you should never put pressure on the man, requiring him immediate answers to their questions. It must be remembered that every problem experienced by the strength of his masculine self-esteem. If you do not take this into account, we can ensure that young people leave you and go to one that does not cause him to doubt his own consistency.
Does not infringe on their personal space
Yes, it's crazy many women! We want every minute to be there to see what he does know what he thought. But men also need personal space as need it and we will. After all, we already have some secrets to which we devote her lover? Of course, we immediately think of the worst, if a man passed by in silence, if he wants to spend time without us, if he is angry with us, and the like. But do not panic! Just remember: it is - a man, it is made entirely from another test.
When we talk with my friends, we can talk for hours, we upset about something. The man is different. If he's upset, he will not say it out loud. When men communicate their purpose - just have a good time. They will not talk about the problems, because they want to give yourself a rest from them. And because they want to look like a real man, not a snotty boys, who are not able to independently solve complex issues. Therefore, they, our guys from time to time begin to avoid contact with us - it is only in the men's range, they can give themselves a psychological discharge.
If you understand it, and if you do not stick to the man when he wants to retire in the next room or just mindlessly sit in front of TV, meet with friends, or go fishing - in short, if you do not constantly try to force their communication, it will be you appreciate their weight in gold, because these women are very few!
How to effectively communicate with men
To a man I was willing to communicate with you, to speak with him in the same language. Just imagine that you have come, for example, in Paris, and are looking for the way to my hotel. And you know the French in the amount clamped phrase in your hand, and even gestures can help themselves. You agree that you have a very small chance of getting it to my hotel, and not on the other end of Paris? And yet you and all the way to Cannes indicate! Now, if you speak good French, you would find a way to help the Parisians are literally in the blink of an eye.
The presence of a common language is of great importance in human relations, when men and women are struggling to understand each other. We women are much easier to adapt to different circumstances, and therefore to learn to speak the language of men we are much easier. How do we make it so that the man did not want to avoid the association with us? What are the rules of communication must comply with the guys?
Always remember that a man wants to see the immediate results of their actions. The biggest mistake women is that they believe that the guys also love to speculate about their problems and experiences, as we like to do. While a woman can enjoy long and insightful stories about the difficulties men prefer to heart of the matter was stated precisely and concisely.
Find the right time to talk and socialize. The guys are very immune to any attempts of communication, when they are not in the mood. If a man is watching TV, reading, working or engaged as something else - ask him if he could talk to you right now. You have a much better chance to be heard and to get their share of attention, if he sees that you are ready to compromise and postpone the conversation to a more convenient time.
Psychologists say that a man is more likely just to talk, when you are doing something together. No matter you are doing in this case is something serious or just relaxing, for example, play checkers or jogging. Men are more pleasant communication, which is part of the overall activities.
Show off the man that you are interested in dealing with it once you've got his attention. Men like it when a woman maintain eye contact with them and spoke calmly, pleasant tone. If you tell something to the guy, do not forget to be interested in his opinion: "Do you agree? "Or" What do you think? "Questions to ask only those that you really do not know the answers. Women love to learn new information is already known to them, but the men never will do.
Listen carefully when a man says to you. Do not interrupt, let him speak, even if you do not agree with him. It is with great will respect your point of view, if you give him a full outline and justify his own position. In addition, only having heard the guy to the end, you can be sure that you got it right.
How to teach a man to listen to you
It may be such that man think that he communicates with us enough, while we would seem that he did not see or hear us. All the same notorious difference in our psychologies! Instead of starting to nag your boyfriend or resort to some kind of dramatic gesture, it is better just to teach him to listen. There are several great ways.
Think about what and how to talk
Do not resort to whining. Most men will automatically disable your account as soon as they hear whining voice of a woman. What is the tone of your voice most attracted the attention of your guy? That this voice and talk with him forever!
Do not talk too loudly and aggressively. Do not resort to verbal attacks to draw the attention of men, they do not like it.
Do not beat around the bush. By the time you get to the point, it will no longer have to listen to your words.
Listen to the man, when he speaks to you
In some cases, our own fault that we did not want to listen. If we never listen to what the man says, it is reasonable might think, well, why should I listen to her?
You pay attention to him when he wants to talk to you? You stop at the same time to wash the dishes, read a book, watch TV, listen carefully to the guy?
You want to talk only on some specific topics? You can not have it happen that he is very excited, for example, the incident in their work or successfully found a solution in the repair of the car, and you're bored and you're listening to interrupt it? Your man will perceive this attitude as a lack of interest in it himself, and he will begin to avoid contact with you.
Pick a good time to address
When you talk about the problem, never go to the individual. If you think that your guy does not listen to you, do not tell him, "You never listen to me," Tell me, "I think you're not listening to me, and I would like to discuss this."
Talk about your feelings in a quiet, cozy atmosphere. You do not want him to feel the threat and began to prepare for the defensive?
Begin a conversation with what you really love and appreciate him. Explain that you feel that you can not effectively share with him their thoughts and feelings.
Ask him to make suggestions as could be to improve the quality of your communication. Find a common solution that will help strengthen your partnership.
The last tip
Men are not so difficult to communicate what we make them in our ideas about it. If they want to communicate with us - they will do it. If you do not want to - so they have a reason for it, and we will not be able to influence it can not force them to do as we would have liked. Give the guy to stay in their own space.
If this state of affairs dragged on, it is better not to beat around the bush and just ask him if everything was all right in his attitude toward you. If he answers "yes", then just leave it alone. If you say "no", then no scandals and hysterics - it does not help. Only completely destroy any chance of a change for the better. And if he says "I do not know," then ask him what the problem is that it confuses. Be direct, but not too persistent, talk quietly. If he again says he does not know the reason for his mood, just ask him to let you know when it will be possible to talk about it. And give him the opportunity to be alone with himself as much as he will need.
Believe me, a man properly appreciate your attitude, if you give him a chance to calmly think about before you make a decision and move on to build your relationship.