For decades, women have used their crown: "Not tonight, dear, I have a headache! "To avoid fulfilling their conjugal duties. But recent studies have shown that men are now increasingly trying to find excuses to refuse sex: Fifteen percent of men between the ages of eighteen and sixty years have shown a significant reduction or complete lack of interest in sex. When compared with those of ten years ago, today the number of men avoiding sex increased by forty percent.
Why men do not want sex as well as it did recently? After all, before it is men complained that they do not have sex. But they, in any case easier, because society has always turned a blind eye to male mischief: not received a discharge in one place - you can always find another where generously give the desired, but still grateful to be ... But what happens if a skin turned female?
Yes, women who find themselves in this situation, do not envy! For most of them, and admit that the husband does not want to make love to her, simply impossible. Why, because it means that I'm such a bad and unattractive, that I do not even want! .. And it is true, will understand and even wrong to condemn a woman, not only men, but also of the ladies of her entourage.
That suffer in silence and not so young wife of dissatisfaction, and most importantly - the insult, not understanding the reason for the coldness of her husband. It was addressed to him and the article in which we will talk about the origins of male sexual problems.
Possible causes of failure male sex
Though the talk about the fact that women do not get enough sex in marriage, most of them remain taboo, but the problem is not so rare as one might think. More and more marriages for months or even years, go into the category of "sexless" when men for various reasons do not want to have sex with their wives. And while women believe that it is with them that something is wrong, not with their spouses.
We can say that this is partly true: some of the blame lies in a man's coldness on us women. Modern society develops in a way that men and women get on the "field of play" on an equal footing - in almost all spheres of life. All of us on the model of society, where women preferred to stay home and children, and a man to support his family and felt strong and courageous defender of his household.
Today, women's dependence on the protection and security that used to give a man, is no longer so relevant. Women and men are equally likely to take care of themselves, and in some families, women and generally completely took over the financial responsibility. The boundaries of male and female roles have become blurred in a marriage that could not affect the sexuality of men.
But, let's take a family in which the wife has not lost the charm of femininity, and her husband still feels "reliable and supported." A husband having sex still does not break. Well, I do not want a woman to him, and that's it! And on the side, he did not seem to run, preferring to communicate love affair with her four-legged friend - sofa. With a book, or better yet, with a TV. How to find a reason why a man does not want to (or almost not) stand in such cases?
He is depressed
When a man is depressed, he does not feel the desire to have sex. It is very often the case, if the depression is associated with job loss or serious financial difficulties - such serious reasons can significantly reduce male libido. Male ego is inextricably linked to his work, with the success of his career. He may lose the peace and depressed, if he felt he could no longer provide for his family, or simply falls in the eyes of others.
You can not ignore the clinical depression, which is in the nature of medical problems. In addition, the reason why man does not want sex, as before, may be taking certain medications, because some drugs can reduce the possibility of male sex. Influence of drugs can vary: they can lower libido men violated the erection or ejaculation find difficulty. It should fail during intercourse to occur at least once, and a man will simply be afraid to enter into intimate contact with his wife, fearing a new oversight.
Since the male genitalia are a major component of his male essence, any deviation in their activities they are perceived as a catastrophe. One thought of the possibility of not satisfy a woman more throws him into a depression, which is already killing all carnal desires. Doubting himself, he crook will try to avoid the embrace in the marital bed, either will be "busy" urgent matters until his wife did not fall asleep, or he first dive into bed, pretending that instantly fell asleep. A poor wife will take all at his own expense and will be sure that it no longer attracts the husband as a woman.
My wife has lost its appeal for her husband
Of course, such a possibility can not be discounted. The appearance of women has a significant impact on the want or do not want her man. If we women "love" their ears, that men are much more important are the visual stimuli. The man does not want sex with a woman who does not care about their appearance, because it seems to be indicating that it does not matter if it looks attractive to him. This signal he understands at a subconscious level as its unwillingness to have sex with him.
Even if the wife will recover after childbirth or because of age, but it will try to look after themselves and with the help of exercise and a healthy diet try to control your weight, but also will find time to do makeup, will dress well to please the husband of its kind - all of this will be appreciated them properly. Confident woman in their grooming is an important part of her sexuality which will radiate and attract her interest in her man.
He may have an affair
If a man suddenly stopped making love with his wife, and she begins to think that he is cheating on her, then it is likely that this is the case. Intuition rarely deceiving women.
Some men are able to make love on the side, and then come home and continue to have sex with his wife. In such situations, a wife can not even guess about the infidelities of her husband, a close eye on them. The situation is worse if the diversity in sex is looking for an older man - to have sex with his wife he would not be staying power, and his desire will be satisfied already on the side - or if a man falls in love with his passion. In the second case it will involve only sex with a lover, not a wife.
Cheating men may be the result of a variety of unresolved conflicts in marriage. Change the men for different reasons, but one of the most common reasons for the desire to become convinced of the man's power, the ability to bring a woman satisfaction. Therefore, for each wife it is very important to always remember that it is necessary to protect the male ego. If you want to support her husband's interest in you as a woman, often try to express admiration for his masculine qualities. And just respect him as a person!
He may be gay
Do not be surprised, this is quite urgent reason. A man can marry and engage in love with his wife in the honeymoon stage, but then he lost all desire for sex because he realizes that he could not deal with their sexual orientation.
It is not as rare as you can think about it. Men and women often deny their sexuality in relation to the opposite sex, because they do not want to be heterosexual. So it turns out that the man realizes after the marriage, that he was simply unable to perform his marital duties towards his wife, and she is left with the feeling that to blame her unattractiveness.
Some men do not want to admit that their sexual outlook that something is wrong; they are married to a woman and trying to live a "normal life." And having lived in a marriage for a while, he understands what has made a mistake. But his wife something in no way to blame, and the children are born and grow up, they are particularly sorry ... And the man withdraws into himself, pulling away from his wife and finds solace in alcohol or drugs.
If the spouse were previously regular intimate contact with his wife, and then for no apparent reason it turned out that the man does not want sex, though it still attracted to his wife, it is likely that he should undergo a full medical examination. Unfortunately, there are a number of diseases - such as heart disease, stroke, certain types of cancer, hormonal disorders and other diseases - which can significantly affect the male libido, which will manifest itself as a lack of desire for sex.
Diabetes can be a serious blow to the sexual desires of men, even if the disease is diagnosed in time and the patient starts treatment. Another big problem - high blood pressure, which can degrade an erection. Bad Chubby worrisome men, and it begins the psychological problems with sex.
Treatment of identified disease also can have its negative impact on male sexual sphere. For example, antidepressants are prescribed by the doctor and antihypertensive (blood pressure lowering) agents are often the perpetrators of reducing men's interest in sexual activity, sometimes leading to sexual dysfunction. Therefore it is necessary to negotiate with the doctor such details - if the man noticed any abnormalities, the doctor will change the drug dosage or substitute another drug.
Unhealthy diets and overweight
It is causing great harm and overweight men. Typically, obese men is a violation of hormonal background; they have insufficient levels of testosterone, and this becomes another reason why a man loses interest in sex. Some men still continue to want sex, but it is difficult to do it, because it prevents the stomach, and the physical effort necessary to do more, and fatigue occurs faster.
A man can from complexes because of their appearance, lost its attractiveness as a result of obesity. He needed some encouragement from his wife, which would be worth motivate him to lose weight. Excess weight can not only negatively affect your overall health, but also can lead to low self-esteem. A low self-esteem causes depression that will ultimately lead to a lack of sexual desire.
Lack of sleep
When a man is very young, I had the opportunity to have sex will suppress his desire to sleep. It often works even when completely new relationship. But as soon as men and women there is stability, especially when the man is part of a more advanced age, sex may call for him to lose his compelling advantages over the tempting opportunity to sleep well.
Chronic lack of sleep itself is able to cause serious damage to health; In addition, people often enough sleep are prone to stress and depression. And the effect on sexual function in men disease and depression, we have already spoken.
Fear of intimacy
Not so frequent cause of failure in the life of a man to have sex, but, nevertheless, and it has the right to be voiced. The fact that some guys fall in love with their partners just for the fact that they are very much like them dearly beloved mother or sisters. But this love is painted a somewhat different tone than is usual at the love of man and woman. Desecrate the cherished images of the encroachment of the flesh is beyond the power of such a man, so it will be avoided sexual relations.
It also happens that the sex takes place in the love of the spouses, but interpersonal contact in their marriage have a higher level of intimacy that adding sexual intimacy, and the man begins to be perceived as an emotional overload. Although it is difficult to imagine that for people who love can be too much intimacy, but many sex experts say that today is a very common reason for reducing the frequency of sex couples.
Masturbation that replaces the male sex
It's pretty spicy topic, but do not mention it it is impossible, especially now that the Internet has penetrated into all spheres of our life. Many men who used and did not look for any sources of visual sexual stimulation (magazines and videos), is now literally attacked by temptations viewing sexual images online. The Internet has made pornography much more affordable, and men more often than before, began to remove the sexual tension with the help of self-satisfaction.
So, if earlier a young man masturbating, for example, once a day, but now he can do this several times a day. If self-satisfaction he needed one or two times a week, but now he will do it ten times. If the guy for 20 years and he is one, such a mode of masturbation, may not harm his romantic relationships. But if a man is married, and the years he has, say, forty, then it is no longer the body will remain resources for sexual intercourse with a woman.
We must not forget that men have certain refractory period (natural interval between erections), so it is not surprising that after masturbation man can not light up the desire to engage in full sexual intercourse. Lucky the woman, whose number decreased libido: it will not be so acutely perceive a long pause between lovemaking with her husband. But if it is quite temperamental, it will be very upset and disappointed.
Differences in relations
When there is interpersonal differences between men and women, it is not surprising that they will begin to avoid sex. Some men or women use denial partner sex as a punishment, and some really can not go closer to the physical, when because of the unresolved conflict disrupted spiritual closeness.
Your attitude to marriage and to each other in itself can also contribute to the decline in sexual activity of your spouse. Although there are some similarities between how men and women get sexually aroused, this has some key differences. So long been established that women's arousal depends on the quality of emotional intimacy with the partner and the total satisfaction relationships.
This means that at a time when a woman feels comfortable and protected in a relationship with a man, she will experience positive emotions arising from sexual desire. It can be excited, and not putting sexual underwear, and even before that lay on the couch, curled up and stretched wearing your favorite t-shirt.
But for a man is a sense of complacency, and immersion in complete comfort can work against his sexual desires. For him the important emphasis on novelty, excitement and visual stimulation is important to him at any age. That visual images play a big role in the stimulation of dopamine - a neurotransmitter that, like amphetamines, plays a very important role in male sexual arousal.
Needless to say that any woman who tries to keep a normal sex life in marriage, you must do everything in its power to men to obtain sufficient visual stimuli it from her. Otherwise, there will always be someone who will use it laziness, and worked hard in order to entertain (and lure!) Someone else's husband.
How to avoid living in the "sexless" marriage
If your marriage is deprived of normal sexual relations - do not worry, you're not alone. There are many women who are in the same situation, and it's not necessarily in their personal capacity. If a man does not want sex with you, the worst thing you could do - is to refuse sexual relations. You should be like Sherlock Holmes and start very tactful but relentless own investigation into the causes that led to such a state of affairs. Talk to your partner, to induce him to frankness so be honest with him. Only together you will find the "aspirin", which will remove your overall headache!