At the hospital, were two terminally ill person. One of them was lying near the window, and the second was a nurse call button. The first is always telling a neighbor in distress about everything that was happening in the real world: there is a fluffy white snow, rain dripping year, fighting ruffled sparrows drives an expensive car is running girl in a light dress.
But once that patient, that lay in the window, the night was bad. He begged his friend to call the nurse, but that for some reason did not. And the patient died. The next morning brought a new patient ward, a veteran asked to pass it on the bed by the window. When his request fulfilled, he saw through the window ... just blank hospital walls. Then he turned to the new and asked: "If the night, I was really bad - do not call the nurse! "(The Parable of envy)
"Envy - a shame for someone else's good, or good; The reluctance of a good friend, and one only themselves "(Dictionary Dahl). There are among us those whose heart never stirred cold, unpleasant feeling of jealousy? Do we not commit rash actions, guided by a sense of grievance to a lucky person?
We did not look, narrowing her eyes, a nice guy friend is not worried whether because promotion work colleagues? And all the time tried to persuade myself that life is unfair: after all, one luckier than others. Is it really time to think or how to stop testing the envy of those who are "faster, higher, stronger"?
Black and white envy
Someone came up with a very clever divide jealousy into two colors: black and white. Allegedly, it is possible to envy, without causing inconvenience to themselves or others. It turns out that white envy - it is just a joy for his neighbor, for his success and achievements? Then why not call it the quality of "virtue"?
For example, your girlfriend came to study at a prestigious university on the first try, and you and the third attempt may not get there. Your congratulations, admiration for her intelligence, luck - all this sincerely, "white"? Try honestly to look inward at this point: Is there in your heart but joy also a shame that a friend is smart, successful, agile? If you are completely candid with you, then make out unpleasant emotions.
Not necessarily wish for "immediate death" unfortunate lucky to be called your sense of envy. After all, whatever color it was not called - white, black, purple - it causes you pain and destroys relationships with people. Do not be fooled, soothing the conscience of the fact that envy is white. In any case, your feelings are destructive.
It all starts with an innocent comparing yourself with other people. Someone apartment more someone slimmer legs, well, others do marry a millionaire left. There is a feeling of anger, hostility, and even just the humiliation of knowing "of his own nothingness." And interestingly, we compare ourselves with people in their social circle.
Not a beggar on the street come up with the idea really envy the owner of a tea factory. Her feelings rather stir up a pair of large bills in the hands of the lucky neighbors on the porch. That, however, is quite natural - to dream, of course, is not harmful. But dreams to envy nothing to do. Likewise, we - the envy to achieve what really burns my soul with thoughts of how to:
Get yourself to at least the same benefit (in the long term - a lot more!);
In more fortunate rivals disappeared object of our envy.
And what's the point to argue that such envy "white"? In any case, you want to have what others have, and what is not yours. Often people do not even think about how much energy and effort required lucky to achieve something in life.
And lying on the couch, unfortunate terrible envy other people's successes and cursing his misfortune, angry at others. But it is only up to the fifth point, and start acting like unattainable heights above will be at the feet! And the envious, in most cases, if they have started to operate, can achieve no less.
Envy - a mortal sin, or the engine of progress?
As a rule, I caught myself feeling of envy, people often begin to suffer pangs of conscience. But do not beat yourself up! Jealousy is inherent in all. There is hardly a single person in this world who have never stab the heart at the thought of someone else's success.
But then "a prick" a strange thing happens: people are divided into two categories. Some of them break up and try to overcome, making sure to reach, to get. Others smear tears evil and hate yourself and all, accusing the world of injustice. What does that mean: for someone to envy - it's an incentive for further growth, but for others - a source of bitterness and resentment? Why someone can transcend the unpleasant feeling of disappointment, while others abandon it swims?
It all depends on the personality and character of the person. If you are used to achieve their own goals, to overcome difficulties and keep moving forward - well, you're lucky. In your case, jealousy is fleeting, it only puts in front of you has the same goal, to achieve that you will need with passion and enthusiasm. In the history of many cases where people have a sense of rivalry reached unimaginable heights.
Get at least a well-known commander Alexander Suvorov. Of frail sickly boy, he became a great warrior, strategist and thinker. And there has not been the cause of all envy, when from the window of his own bedroom, he stared hard boys playing "voynushki"? Another great example - the creation of the famous sports car Lamborghini. After the famous Ferruccio Lamborghini made his company "in spite of" the automotive giant Ferrari Enzo, a clever and lucky holders and rider.
So maybe we should not think about how to stop people to envy? After developing and improving themselves, some of us are able to send the proverbial envy in the right direction and become more successful, happy. That's only if envy - the only incentive to move forward, and then we can burn out: there is always someone richer, prettier, smarter, luckier than us. And if we continue to strive for the success of other people, then their happy simply not enough neither the strength nor the time.
The cure for envy
If you are wondering how to stop envying people - you're halfway solution. It is important to realize that torments you feeling destructive. Of course, to stop once and for all to envy unreal - just human nature is that from time to time, each of us, when the flash of envy for different reasons.
But do not turn this feeling into a disaster, spoiling life for themselves and others, you just have to. Otherwise you will become a poor man of the parable, which has allowed to die of envy a neighbor in the ward. Therefore, to understand how not to envy, begin to live with a clear conscience and a good mood, listen to a few tips:
Systematics.
Take a piece of paper and on one side write down why you are jealous of a specific person. On the other side write all the points that you have made to achieve the same result. Pretty soon you'll see one of two truths: either what you did not lift a finger for the desired result, or that your action is simply not enough. In this and in another case, it will be useful to you. Or to accept and stop envying or consider flaws and go to the end.
Do not brag.
Less show off their achievements. Surely you and you know that boasting and envy - closest friends. The more you worry that someone successful you are, the more shout about your achievements. If you are trying to fill the emptiness of their own unfulfilled desires, proving to others that you are also well done. It smacks of a desire to cause envy to his beloved, to drown his own frustration.
Nothing good in the end it will not. Well, let's say you convince others of importance and success. But his own dissatisfaction with something is not going anywhere. Yes, and friends may start to envy you. The evil eye can be trusted, you can not - but the negative energy in any case has not brought benefit to anyone.
Assess the situation.
Remember that you can have something that others do not. If you are jealous of her friend with a successful career, you might think - perhaps it would be easily exchanged it for your happy married life. If you suffer from curvature of your legs, your rival can envy your health and the absence of varicose veins. Everywhere has its pros and cons - just do not forget the flip side (believe me, without it there is no reward).
Eliminate irritants.
Be prepared for what will be the envy of defeat is not so simple - sometimes to have to put a lot of effort. Do not be discouraged if you manage to pacify the jealousy at once - you may need some time. And best of all at this time, isolated from the object of envy. You are jealous girlfriend? For some time, under the pretext refuse communion.
Love yourself, love.
Love yourself and begin to enjoy life. Every day, every hour of existence. As soon as you will find inner harmony, time and effort to envy simply will not. You - the best, smart and beautiful, you have all the necessary work! The main thing - to believe in it.
Each of us has our own way. To understand how to stop envying others, just live your life and not someone else's ambitions. You can not know what lies behind the facade of a successful, lucky people - maybe they gnaw the same problems as you. Just rejoice in their victories, and do not forget about their own purposes - for you, no one will not be as high.
