Aggressive husbands - the problem of the twenty-first century
When adequate man can raise his hand
Why once caring and loving man turns into a cruel, dangerous man, terrorizing the whole family? Whose fault is that the husband beats his pregnant wife, he mocks her feelings, crazy? Many of the fair sex are suffering from such a relationship in the family. Husbands waving fists, insult, humiliate not just women, but also young children. Initially, it is perceived as an accident - the accumulated stress and other troubles, but soon such behavior is 'normal' and women fall into despair.
Some of the unfortunate women continue to suffer and to forgive their husbands tormentors even after a black eye and other injuries. Remember the adage: if a man beats his wife, then - love her. They are ready to blame themselves, believing that they themselves have made a mistake - were not able to soothe, to help pet. Wives believe oath second half, so that he never will no longer do. The fair sex continue to hope and to live, afraid of new beatings.
Beale, beat and beat. As a rule, if a man has ever raised a hand to his woman, it will be repeated again and again. They have broken a moral barrier, when they suddenly realize that you can beat, without receiving any punishment or resistance. There are rare cases where the husband is really aware of his action, repents and does not repeat the mistakes - if you acted in the heat of passion. Even though it is not justified.
Aggressive men: who should be shunned
Men who raises his hand to his wives, conventionally divided into two types: the "pit bulls" and "Cobra". The first type, "pit bull" is the most common. They themselves gradually wind the their rage, plague wife scathing remarks and insults. Husbands "give birth" themselves up to the point when you can throw and hit. The typical behavior of dogs.
Such men are often psychologically dependent on their wives. This is not love, but a disease generated by the desire to humiliate and to put in place a loved one. The wives of these people have to watch every gesture, glance and word, that God forbid not to wake them aggression. These families shut themselves off from friends, relatives and live in complete isolation, alone with their problems.
"Cobra" were male are much less common, but their behavior is difficult to predict. They do not need to inflame itself - on the contrary, they attack silently and unexpectedly. During the strike they have completely calm, even the lack of view. When this temperature is lying audio or pressure. At the slightest occasion they are totally coolly beaten their wives to death. They beat, despite your health or condition. Raise your hand on a pregnant woman - simple.
This is a very dangerous and violent men, although their fury easier to redirect a more peaceful direction. Realizing that the victim does not respond to his bullying, they can find another thing to relieve irritation. But do not rejoice: this source may be your relatives, friends and even children.
Why is a man to dismiss his hands?
The idea that all of the fair sex, tolerate beatings from men - timid, submissive and downtrodden, is not always true. Most often, the wife are actively involved in the skirmish, yazvyat, insulted and even beat their partners. To their credit it should be said that all this is happening in response to the threats of her husband.
They are exactly the same as men, to quickly light up and become aggressive, even over trifles. The fair sex lose their heads and give birth to her husband even more, resulting in a fight. And at a time when men are fighting for power in his home, women are fighting for life.
What happens to men? Why is the husband beats his wife? As they become tyrants, and who's to blame? Everything has an explanation. And the origins should be sought in the past (childhood, previous relationships, etc.). Scratch a man does not become a tyrant and sadist.
Children's psychological trauma
The most common case - memories of the behavior of the father in his own family. If your husband as a child had the same problems with parents, the likelihood of ill-treatment of his own family is very high. As a young boy, he watched in horror furious father, humiliated and beaten by his mother. He suffered deeply from fear and injustice, and swore to himself that never in my life will not allow to be the same as a dad. However, this pattern of behavior - the only thing he learned from childhood. He just does not understand how differently to resolve the conflict, because of what follows the steps of his father on a subconscious level. After all, if mom has a husband, why he do not rein in his wife.
If your young man from a family, while it is already beginning to show signs of aggression - to persuade him to go to a psychologist. Explain the complexity of the situation, tell us how much his love and how you do not want your child to have seen what he had seen.
If your spouse has a desire to keep the marriage strong and loving, he must agree to your proposal. Although, unfortunately, this only works if the husband himself weary of their behavior and willing to change themselves. Be careful while you can fix it. If you have hit it at least once, to heal a loved one will be more difficult. Plus, you will have to forgive him. And can you do it?
How many families in Russia are suffering from this disease! The husband drinks and beats his wife, being in a deranged state most of his life. Sometimes a woman begins to suppress their grief in alcohol along with it, unable to find a way out and preferring to forget from mental and physical pain. But drinking two spouses in the family - it's a disaster, crumbling everything in its path.
Even if a woman does not drink alcohol, it still falls out of life and depends entirely on the condition of her husband. Eternal waiting - if he comes home drunk or sober, he slips again, or leave it alone. Mind alcoholics broken, they are not able to control their own behavior, their actions are inadequate. Most injuries and murders resulting from domestic violence occurs at the moment of intoxication.
Treat these people is very difficult, but if you want to save the relationship and return to the normal state of her husband - is worth a try. The main thing - try to solve this problem together. If men do not have a sincere desire to stop drinking, then nothing happens. All publicized means to remove the alcohol dependence without the knowledge of the patient - the myths and fairy tales marketers.
Remind him of the best that was in your life together. Try to convince him you need a healthy and adequate, what you and your children do not want to suffer anymore. Explain that if a husband beats his wife and mocks it affects all family members.
If the degree of alcohol is not too advanced, your spouse may decide to be treated and to stop drinking. If the physiological and psychological dependence is so high that it becomes instinct, then he will prefer a bottle of his family. In this case, the health care of yourself and your children, and keep away from alcoholic
Humbled and humiliated
Another example of a tyrant husband - a person with low self-esteem. His circle of bad luck, people refer to him mockingly, he does not respect and appreciate the team. Unable to meet their usually high ambitions, such men splash out all your negativity at home - in the most intimate and loving people. Here, they just can not get the deserved rebuff, and finally rise in my own eyes. The main thing - this superiority, even over weak women and children.
They like the air you need proof of their "domination" in the house, it is only because they are worth something in his own eyes. They are taking revenge for insults, contempt, for laughing at himself. Conventional losers, unable to realize themselves in life, ride roughshod over friends and relatives. Especially live. He - energy vampire.
If your husband is a tyrant of this type, it is immediately saved from it. Selfishness is incurable, promises to reform - are false. It is not necessary to become pear whipping for a man who wants to thus raise the personal self-esteem. It's like hitting you, and will continue to dismiss his hands.
Darling of fortune
Husband beat his family could be someone who is very spoiled as a child. He was accustomed to the fact that everything around indulge his desires, his every "want" - the law of life to others. The man just does not fit in my head why his wife did not immediately complies with all its requirements and stands at "attention" at his approach. Do not get what you want, these people may fall into uncontrollable aggression and a long time to "punish" relatives for causing offense.
Since childhood is not accustomed to the independence they require from their wives that what they can not do themselves. It is not just men's work at home, but also the solution of financial, household issues. They have changed, as a rule, is not considered a sin at all - in fact such a "wonderful people" are allowed to absolutely everything! And if his wife suddenly decide to tell them what to do, then you just need to teach them a lesson and show who's boss.
Lovely woman if your husband is like that man - run without looking back. No love is not worth such a mental and physical pain. And if you have kids - to protect them mental trauma, give them the opportunity to grow decent, happy people!
What women suffer abuse and humiliation
Why the fair sex ever ready to forgive their abusive husbands and to be next to them? What is it - the fear of loneliness or strange masochism? Is love so blind that allows them to chain themselves to a life sentence of pain and humiliation?
The naivety or greed
As mentioned earlier, women think: "When my husband beats me, the way he shows his feelings." This tale has long lost its relevance. Once our grandparents were married by arrangement of their parents, not even seeing the bride before the wedding. And they lived a lifetime together - whether it's a happy marriage or an unhappy existence. Once the divorce was not possible, saying "my husband beats his wife, then - love" was the salvation and explain what is happening. And what now?
Even now, despite the propaganda of violence against women are confident that the beating - the norm for virtually every modern family. After all, neighbors, and relatives are also scandals. Husband beats them, and then repents, bestows flowers, gold, diamonds and oaths that it was the last time.
It comes to the fact that some of the wives see their husbands split personality: kind and color is considered a real and aggressive with their fists - accident, illness, circumstances. By the way, sometimes the fair sex subconsciously start to provoke a spouse, to the next day he Zadar gifts. But, unfortunately, in such cases a fight happen more often, and apologize - less and less.
Threats of suicide
Sometimes men blackmailing women that commit suicide if they throw them and leave. Often, these words do not contain a real threat, it's just an excuse to keep you always with you and be able to control you. Plus, women are compliant and even become afraid of his own shadow. Who wants to be the cause of someone else's death, even if this person brings emotional and physical pain.
To live in constant fear and tension, fear for the possible death of a loved one, "your fault" - not that you'd expect, she married? If you succumb to such blackmail, it will be forever without guilt guilty and deeply unhappy woman. And after a couple of decades, this "male" can go to the other, and you run out of anything. Because of the constant worries and nervous breakdowns before the time you begin to turn gray hair, wrinkles will disappear and the gleam in his eyes. You need it?
Do not feel sorry for the husband, stay femme fatale - give him the opportunity to act as it sees fit. Only a few are able to take such a terrible step like suicide. The most that they can do - try to imitate, to keep you on a short leash. In other respects, they are only among women develop a sense of guilt and despair. By the way, all suitsidnikov put on record in a psychiatric hospital. And in some cases it will be very tight, especially if he wants to change jobs or to get a private transport. Do not forget to tell her husband about it.
Children need a father
Many of the fair sex believe that the pope tyrant - is better than no father at all. Here they are sorely mistaken. Seeing the constant scandals and fights the parents, the children are deeply traumatized psyche. It is dangerous for the boys - as adults, they copy the behavior of the father in the family. It's hard for girls - in the future to create a family, they will subconsciously look for violent men, like his father.
As a result, the life of a tyrant spoil not only you but also innocent children. Sometimes, husbands even raise a hand to them, which can not but affect the mental and physical health of children. Did you know that most of the young murderers sentenced for the murder of fathers who beat their wives and children? A public opinion condemns all this mother who did not protect the child from such a "loving" and "caring" father.
One of the common reasons why his wife did not go on beating their husbands - financial dependence. They have no place, and not to live on. This situation often develops in families where the wife or do not work or get a very small salary. What if the husband beats you in this case? Despite such difficulties, if desired, can find a way out. Ask for help from family and friends, explain the situation and ask for help. You certainly would support and help to hold at first, until you find a job.
Understand the safety of children is also in your hands. Many successful, financially independent women also started from scratch. And there were in the same dire circumstances (or even worse). And if they were able to climb, it will turn out at you. Right?
Aggressive husbands - the problem of the twenty-first century
If you're still wondering whether to continue living in pain, or feel that beating husband - your karma, consider the following information:
In Russia, at the hands of her husband or domestic partner every 40 minutes a woman is killed. Each year, a terrible number varies from 12 to 14 thousand people;
The risk of dying at the hands of a stranger in our country for the whole order of magnitude lower than in their own family;
Every day, every 36 thousand women are beaten by their husbands and boyfriends;
More than 50 thousand children run away from home to escape beatings from parents;
About 2 million children each year take their own lives. The reason - they beat one of the parents.
Perhaps these data will push you to the right decision and will help to understand whether or not to live with someone who is a threat to you and your loved ones.
When adequate man can raise his hand
This man will never, under any circumstances, should not raise a woman's hand. This - the rule that a representative of the stronger sex to know. But as always, there are exceptions. The young man can hit, if, for example, his life was in danger. It is set at the level of instinct. Aggression is shown if the same applies to his children. So do not throw at her husband with a frying pan or on a child with a belt. The consequences can be sad.
Output from the man himself can and infidelity. Especially if he devoted his whole life to her family, and she is walking, say, with his best friend. Unfortunately, because of jealousy committed many murders. The man is then in the heat of passion. This is not an excuse, but it should be fair to the beloved. And be careful.
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