Sometimes, family life is ready to present surprises. Until recently, your young people pamper you with gifts, do not you regret neither the means nor attention. But as soon as you start living together - everything changed. Now, my husband does not give money not just another bag, but even for food and to pay the bills.
What is the reason such a tightfisted and how to fight it?
My husband thinks you spender
Sometimes it is because men do not believe in the efficiency of their wives. They simply do not doubt: it is necessary only woman to take the money in hand, she immediately runs to spend it on their own gadgets and no rubbish. They do not believe in the common sense and good judgment of their fundamentals girlfriends suspect them in a light attitude to make money.
Let's not talk about women Shopaholic, descends the family budget in the stores - here it is understandable why a husband does not give money. This is an ordinary, normal women, which in addition to food and life require clothing with shoes.
What to do, in men this stock character: they are sure to buy one or two shirts per year - this is absolutely enough. They just can not understand why a woman needs several pairs of shoes and why in the office two weeks in a row will not go into the same.
Try to talk to your chosen one. Do not start a conversation with terrible words: "We must have a serious talk about money! ". This will only scare a man and pre-configured against your arguments. Try in another way: "My dear, let's discuss some of the problems I have in recent years there were some difficulties." Explaining his reasons, told the cost of necessary purchases, you will surely get his understanding and approval. If a man knows what his goals are finance and sees a need for the acquisition of certain things, it is much easier to part with money.
The reluctance to delve into the "minor" problems
There is a type of men who had never weighed myself to purchase products and pay the bills. They believe that all these costs - a mere trifle, and "Majesty" is not condescend to simple everyday problems. Cut off from reality, they may not be aware that the prices in grocery stores are springing up like mushrooms, and the rent for the last year has almost doubled.
It's time to click on the nose zaznaek and submit receipts for food collected for the week. A receipt of the rent, bills for Internet, telephone, utilities, it is better to hold a prominent place. Keep a notebook of income and expenses, explain to her husband that there are no miracles. Most of your personal assets (if not all) it goes to general household expenses.
After all, if you work for the payment of services and campaigns for products, for which it works? For the sake of good beer in the evenings and a new smartphone? If your husband does not give money even for household expenses, what about equal rights in the family can be a speech?
Try to offer him a compromise: you invest with him an equal amount per household, and the remaining money one spends on your own.
Husband saves money on expensive purchase
Sometimes men are hoarding money for a large purchase, and do not give a penny to the wives of other expenses. Well, if a man is raising money for a specific thing necessary for the whole family, you have to tighten their belts and adjust to the temporary difficulties. This can be a large SUV, which together will you get to work, or travel voucher, which you have long dreamed.
But even the necessity of austerity must not endanger your family budget. The fact that her husband does not give money to the elementary needs of the economy, suggests that you are poorly managed financial affairs of the family.
In addition to the dream of the big expensive purchase, your husband should be thought of as make your life easier and do not take on the fragile shoulders of ensuring the whole family.
Suppose you buy a coveted car later, but you do not have to drudge all household expenses alone.
One love can not eat ...
Some men believe that your happiness is ensured by the fact that they are close to you. Why do you need money if a sweet heaven in a tent? He blessed you so, and you are the romantic relationship overshadows demanding some money.
Remember how in the wonderful cartoon man told his woman: "You want me to give you this star ...". And she, poor fellow, all clean and pure pan. So, this option is the relationship is still important for many women.
Got bitten again, wives have to endure such an attitude forever. Men somehow believe that meat and vegetables grow in the refrigerator, and the rent and bills are paid phones themselves.
The faster you try to cure the spouse of infantilism, the better. Shall describe it on paper how much money you spend on food and utilities, ask for help. Ask him to make a joint family income, for example - put money in one place. If necessary, each will take the required amount, but about large purchases will negotiate.
Some husbands alone visit shops and pay all the bills. They are without further ado fill the fridge and make all the necessary expenses. Here are just a wife they do not give money. Absolutely. And work is also prohibited.
Unhappy woman unsuccessfully beg for crumbs from them on the desired detail, and then humiliated, asked to borrow from friends and parents. What if a husband does not give money and prohibits to go to work?
Then you decide. Most often, this behavior suggests that the husband is not too high opinion of you. He denies funds to be easier to control you, and not allowed to work, so as not to give you confidence. So people like meek and uncomplaining mistress, to whom it is not necessary to report and justify. He - the head of the house, and you should be happy to accept the role of powerless maids.
Such husband would not let you go to work - you suddenly find there is a two-meter handsome, richer and smarter than him? Then you end their addiction and go to another.
First of all, think in such a situation currently. As much as you did not like him, but in life anything can happen. Families break up, husbands change, relationships change - you do not want to ever stay with nothing?
Be sure to go to work and become financially independent. Believe me, finding self-confidence, it will be easier to besiege husband thinks you are a nobody. It is possible that the husband saw in you a quiet and boring homebody and a strong and confident woman will start to treat you differently.
Civil marriage - a cat in a bag?
If you live in a civil marriage, then it is worth considering how serious your relationship. There is a saying: "Civil marriage is when a woman thinks she is married, and the man that he was a bachelor."
Sometimes law husband does not give money if you consider temporary shelter, not stoyuschaya special expenses. Here all the efforts to establish a joint family budget or hints about expensive purchases will be in vain. Such a man will either remain silent or to object categorically your arguments.
Call him and ask to be frank about what he sees your relationship in the future. Inarticulate grunts and avoiding conversation - a bad sign. If you feel that your partner is about ready to pack their bags - his first throw. So you will avoid unnecessary humiliation and give yourself the opportunity to quickly find true love.
If the wife is a treasure, the husband receives only 25%
Some women make themselves good, sometimes even more than men. Of course, that's great - but do not report to the husband! Unless you are a deputy, and your husband is not a watchman at a construction site, the difference of your income, and you can hide. Any man nice feel breadwinner of the family, do not take away from him the possibility.
If your husband sees that you always have a full purse, then to part with their hard-earned him no good. And it is useless to ask him for money for new shoes or food - he just thinks it's a mockery.
Stay weaker sex - is spurring men to new challenges for you and does not forget about the role of the main breadwinner in the house.
Greed has ruined many ...
The most unpleasant option - when your husband just very greedy. If he frantically counts every penny, if instead of offering new boots convey "iron horses" if the dentist is only extractions (pull cheaper than cure). Then you just unlucky.
Perhaps his character influenced some events in his childhood, and maybe greed betrayed genetically. In any case, in such people is very difficult to influence.
Remember the old anecdote:
- Honey, remember, you promised to give me recently, when it's a rainy day? So, it has come.
- Of course, dear. I know how to keep his word. Here's your last bullet.
And in life. They save not only the food, but even on such important things like education and medical treatment.
As you know, life with such people is intolerable. Try to explain to him that surround it are not enemies, but close and loving people. What do you need money in a "tenth coat", but on the essentials. Not be amiss to refer this problem to the psychologist.
And if you do not help even a specialist, then think of another husband to live in perpetual tension and without a penny of money - not the best fate.
The main thing - do not give up and not let the events of your life on a constant flow channel. In fact, most men are adequate enough to understand and accept your demands. Be tactful but insistent, offer a compromise to her husband - and a desire to give you the money will fail.