How can we explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? (Albert Einstein)
During which has already become a favorite holiday of all lovers - Valentine's Day - so I want to talk about love! And once you have looked into this column - so you serious girl; So let's talk about love seriously
. Can we really determine what is love? So to say - and all at once clearly fell into place, everything became clear and understandable
. Just say that to find a single definition of love, we are unlikely to succeed
. The true and profound meaning of love is very hard to put into words
. Human love - it's a never ending story in the open book of life experience
. You can try to look from a scientific point of view, what love is: the definition she tried to give philosophers and psychologists, chemists and linguists, even mathematicians have tried to calculate the formula for love
. Give a precise definition of what love is, could not no science, because each of these studies, only one of some aspects of this phenomenon
. And love - a multifaceted feeling which unites the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual manifestations in humans
Trying to give a precise definition of what love is, do all the artists and poets of all time. All was prepared differently. Each of us knows exactly when love that is love. Yet this feeling is all a mystery in all respects. Writing a final determination has not yet been able to love anyone. Those scientists who are able to find the exact wording will make a great contribution to our world and society. In the meantime, more precisely define the essence of all the different types of love only the ancient Greeks. But first things first!
Let's look in the dictionary
Let's start with the most affordable - let's see how this sense of definition given in different dictionaries. So, love (and everything that goes with it) - is:
- Strong heart feels a deep emotional attraction. "Love at first sight", "Pangs of love."
- Strong positive emotions, pleasure. "He loves his job," "I love to cook."
- Designation intimacy, loving relationship. "Beloved husband"
- Any object of warm affection or devotion. "The theater was her real love", "I love French cuisine."
- A deep feeling of sexual desire, attraction. "She was his first love," "She loves her husband."
- Sexual intercourse. "They made love," "He has a few months there was no love."
This is not all the definitions of love. There may be a lot, because in today's world, the use of the word slightly distorted, and in some places completely perverted. For example, in some countries, one would never say, "I love Apple! "There exist more suitable for such a situation the word. I would not say so, and the ancient Greeks.
Four types of love in Greek
The ancient Greeks divided love into four main types: agape, eros, and storge Filia.
- Agape - love, compassion. The highest type of love. This unconditional love with the deepest feelings when a loving person gives himself, without expecting anything in return. Such love - for each other and for the other, it is full of self-denial and sacrifice. All the religions of the world believe that love supreme sense of earthly man.
- Eros - a passionate love. It is based, of course, sexual passion, but passion can be not only physical, but also spiritual (for example, there are passionate football fans). Eros - is enthusiastic, violent love, but the passion is burning here not so much for the other, but for myself, there are so many self-centeredness. (By the way, do not you think that it is a god of love Eros is passionate coined the phrase "make love"?)
- Branch - The sons of love, love, friendship (as between parents and children). This is a quieter, more spiritual sense. Here love is shown through loyalty to family, friends and community; usually occurs when Filia sharing spiritual resources with the mutual expectation of something in return. In Plato's doctrine of love Filia is raised to a higher level. Well, Plato know better!
- Storge - conjugal love, love, tenderness, which is the result of mutual affection. It is full of people who love the attention to each other.
Later they began to select and other varieties of types of love. Among them is an interesting type, which would be worth mentioning: Mania - the love-madness, love, obsession (the Greek word for "Mania" meant madness, desire, passion). This love is based on the long-term emotional ecstasy, obsession feelings revaluation significance of this love. The madness of the gods - the so-called Greeks that love. Symptoms such love perpetuated Plato and Sappho - heart fever, loss of sleep and interest in food, confusion and pain restless soul.
Interestingly, after the Greeks for a long time no one really did not try to explore love. It was only in the twentieth century, psychologists and representatives of other sciences have turned their attention to the gaps in this area of expertise. And try to make up.
The point of view of anthropology of love
Professor of Anthropology Dr. Helen Fisher (USA) has been studying the nature of this feeling more than thirty-two years. Not so long ago she published a book "Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love." That's how it is. On the molecules spread out! And what conclusion she came? Fischer believes that love can be divided into three parts: lust, romance and affection. These three components may occur in any order and in any combination. You can fall in love with someone before they become to sleep with him. You may be deeply attached to someone, and then fall in love. Can you first have sex, then fall in love, and later much attached to this man.
Thus, lust, lust ... The thirst for sexual gratification, which can feel like a man, forcing him to act. Fall in love, it focuses attention on the object of their feelings, obsessive thinking only about him. He is not only eager to have a loved one; He is highly motivated to win this person. It may seem counterintuitive, but when things are very bad, the attraction to the rejecting side is reinforced. In this state, the brain is controlled by dopamine - a hormone, "in anticipation of happiness," and strongly rejected lover continues its efforts to achieve reciprocity.
Romantic love is a much more potent stimulant of the nervous system than sexual attraction
. Around the world, in any corner of the world people live for love, do things for love, die or kill themselves for the love of others
. About love sing songs, draw pictures, make movies
. Love sometimes turns into obsession that can bring joy and pain at the same time
. And all this time in the brain of a man in love chemical reactions occur, which govern the process
. And duration of these reactions is not infinite
. Romantic love is meant to be temporary, otherwise people would not stand such pressure and died of nervous exhaustion, and would fall to be treated in psychiatric hospitals
. Romantic love is designed to focus on each other pair to stimulate reproduction
. But once the baby is born, the mechanism which helps to raise the baby together - has a feeling of affection
Attachment gives you a sense of calm and security. This is in contrast to the romantic love, long-term sense, and it can last until death partners. Here, "involved" a completely different hormones - vasopressin and oxytocin, which is responsible for the feeling of tranquility and even a sense of unity after intercourse. It is proved that oxytocin makes men more susceptible to positive colored words. So, should take note: when you sit side by side, holding hands, or when you're doing a massage to her husband, or look into his eyes, gently telling him how good he - you thereby are contributing to the development of oxytocin in the brain of a loved one. But oxytocin immediately begins to affect the brain betrothed, and has been out of it, you can twist the rope ... Chemistry! We are here for the most part everything shumim, knocking fist on the table, demanding something; and affectionate wife, not only do not take out the garbage, but also flaunt fur coats. So that!
And now the love in terms of psychology
Psychologists tend to highlight three aspects of love:
- Passion. At the core lies the excitement of passion, physical attraction, sexual behavior. This is the physical side of love.
- Proximity. This emotional aspect of love - intimacy, togetherness, warm friendship.
- Commitments. The moral side of love. This means a willingness to solve all the problems of the pair together.
There are many combinations that are specific to a particular love. There is passion and friendship, but very little commitment? Then it is "passion". You kind of together, but do not feel the passion and warmth of friendship? This "empty", hopeless love. In general, the options can be a lot. Of course, any of us would like to have a true love with the "full package": with passion, intimacy and commitment. This, of course, ideal, but do not unconditionally advocate only for him. In our lives play an important role compromises. And chasing an ideal, it is possible to miss the happiness.
Well, like everything is simple and clear. But how to find true love? It is not easy to take for her love, passion or lust banal? Let's try to bring their own, women's definition of true love.
Love - is when you want to do for the man something good. Just. And you well just what happened to do something pleasant and useful for him.
Love - is when you can not breathe if he's not there. And as soon as it appears in your field of vision, in your stomach like butterflies start dancing!
Love - is when food is insipid, funny games - uninteresting, daily activities - meaningless ... The only thing that makes sense - is to sit in a chair and smiling stupidly, dreaming about it.
Love - is when you can not help but think about what it is extraordinary, unlike anyone else, even if you are ... incredibly angry with him!
Love - is when to him there are no other women besides you. Well, maybe even his mother ...
Love - is when forever. Only with it. For life. True love overcomes all obstacles and endure. And even if this is not always possible, each of us prefer to think that way. As in Shakespeare's sonnets:
Love - it's not love,
When the color changes in the slightest change
And it flies away in the first cooling.
Well, to you in dreams of true love absolutely does not come off the ground, we want to give you some advice.
Tips & Warnings
- You can not love others until you learn to love yourself.
- Do not forget: if you feel love for someone, it does not mean that he should also love you.
- You should not fall in love with a man who is unstable in their feelings - it's hot, then cold. Such a man will make you cry much more than smile. Find the courage to put an end to it; you will still find a decent man capable of a healthy relationship.
- Remember that love is different "levels". Two people who love each other, have the right to choose what is to be their attitude. But love itself - not a choice: you can not decide how hard you'll love.
- Sometimes, reckless love enslaves. Do not try to give his life on the altar of service to your loved one. Do not lose yourself completely dissolved in it. It is better to get even better for the sake of a loved one, develop, learn something new for yourself. Let it will be interesting to you! Unconditional love does not mean that you only need to take care of a loved one. It means that you have to balance your relationship so that and your life has changed for the better.
- I venture to say that really love when love does not only take, but also give it. No matter how much love you give to someone, it is important that he has always wanted to give you even more.
- This is not love, if only talk about it. To express love is not enough to say "I love you"; better open their love is not words but deeds and actions. "Actions speak louder than words" - says the Eastern proverb. Actions affect the feelings of more than talk. Even if someone just waved your hand, sincere smile at the same time, it is able to get your heart pounding and eknut.
Centuries have passed, but people still have not been able to give a precise definition of this feeling. Perhaps because for different people love can be different? For someone is suffering, and for someone - the wings behind the back; for someone to love - the possibility of self-expression, and for someone - a quiet family atmosphere. Love brings happiness and love can cause grief. It can even lead to war! But one thing is unchangeable love - it is eternal, and it makes a man to be a man!