Outside, the dark, late at night. You lie in bed for more than an hour, but can not sleep. Perhaps you are thinking about the conflict that occurred at your work. Perhaps some troubles with children makes you mentally again and again to come back to him, and you toss and turn in bed, thinking and trying to find some solution. Whatever the problem, you can not throw them out of my head day and night; you try to find a solution here and now, and continue to restlessly turning from side to side. For an hour and went ... Now you begin to worry about what you see: you do not have time to sleep, and tomorrow you will be working very hard. "I must sleep! "But it becomes even harder to sleep. Anxiety and worry do their dirty work.
Do you know this picture? Have not you find a place out of concern, explicit or unconscious? Most likely, it was necessary. Modern life gives us all a lot of reasons for concern: divorces, separations, the threat of terrorism - just not listed! And very often we can not somehow affect the circumstances and change them. We can only experience, sometimes not knowing how to pull himself together and cease to be nervous or even panic.
Why do people worry?
Anxiety remains we "inherited" from our ancestors. Ancient people anxiety help avoid collisions with dangerous predators, saved their lives. Cold sweat of anxiety - are consequences of the release of adrenaline in the blood, and the adrenaline still serves us well in certain circumstances. Anxiety - a natural reaction to real power, and this reaction helps us to motivate yourself, and sometimes gives us the energy to, if necessary, to take the necessary measures. Such anxiety also helps us to protect ourselves.
But as we all know very well, it also happens: a specific threat, there is only the possibility of a crisis, and - done! The man already "include" mode concern, and begins: "I can not sleep at night! "" Places do not find yourself! ". In this situation, we do not think about how serious the danger and how a credible threat. Anxiety takes hold of our minds and we begin to see the danger, they say, on every corner. In case of such an overwhelming concern people lose the ability to make the right decisions. They start to avoid the many things can not concentrate on a certain thing; alarm at the slightest provocation pursuing their day-to-day. In such a situation it is important not to miss a moment and try to help itself, otherwise you'll have to resort to professional help.
If you become more and more the case that you find yourself thinking, "I can not find the place itself," try using two strategies. They are recommended by psychologists to help us win a concern. Here they are:
Analysis and neutralization of negative thoughts
Ask yourself: Are these thoughts productive? They somehow help me get closer to my goal? Or that I myself do not find a place only prevents me to focus and make the right decision? If you come to the conclusion that your thoughts are not productive, you will need to try to turn their attention to something else. It is difficult to do, but it's important. (A little further we will tell you about the ten techniques that will help you distract and reduce anxiety).
Try to replace anxious thoughts more optimistic arguments. For example, instead of having to be completely paralyzed by fear of possible layoffs, try to direct their thoughts in a different direction, "Maybe me and fired, I might have to leave the familiar surroundings. But I will do everything that depends on me, now: I will save money to create some kind of a stock will start to look for information on vacancies. I may even be able to find a job with a higher salary, and even closer to home! "
Of course, very frustrating when something goes wrong, as you had planned - fall through the presentation, it will not turn the conversation or you fail the exam. But you should be aware that this is certainly the worst result than it could be, but still there is a very high probability that this world will not collapse. Sometimes the worst thing that can happen to you - is itself a panic attack.
The ability to relax
When people are excited, they tend to move to shallow breathing. This only exacerbates the situation because a superficial and rapid breathing increases the excitability of the nerve centers, while the deep breathing of anxiety, on the contrary, decreases. Therefore, he felt anxiety and excitement, try to control your breathing. Put his hand on her stomach, inhale air deeply and slowly, no more than 12 times per minute. Try to breathe using the diaphragm. This breathing can help you relax.
Each of us is concerned, each of us shared with someone from the family their concerns: "Worried ... nervous ... I do not find the place itself ...." And none of us is immune from similar experiences in the future. But the good news may be that we can help ourselves. And this assistance may be more effective than the usual advice in such a situation close to "not to be alarmist" or simply "stop thinking so much about ...". As a result of recent studies of anxiety specialists have developed innovative, sometimes even seemingly strange recommendations for overcoming fears and anxieties. It turns out that most people are able to gain control over the situation, if they try to change the attitude of their thoughts and feelings. Here's how to do it:
10 ways to cope with anxiety
Repeat the situation that is causing your anxiety and fear, until you feel the absurdity arises chuvstva.Naprimer, you are stepping into the elevator, begin to experience anxiety (suddenly the elevator stops between floors or slips down?). It is understandable that you would rather take the stairs instead of using the elevator ride. But try to do in spite of their fear - take the elevator to ten, a hundred times in a row. Eventually there will come a time when you feel that you did not feel fear.
So do with disturbing thoughts. Worried you some anxiety - try to think about it again and again. It only seems that way - they say, do not find a place, I think day and night. In fact anxious thoughts are replaced by the thoughts of what to cook for dinner, the interest in what is happening on the TV screen, then thinking about what a half-hour ago, a friend on the phone said. And you try not to be distracted on anything - just think and think that today the chief suspect did not shake hands with you. The series began favorite? Once, I think it is necessary. Read a good book? Once! As a result, an unpleasant thought she will run away from you. Do you know stories about the white monkey, which is impossible to think? It's the same, only in reverse.
Pretend that it is still too huzhe.Esli try to control their anxiety and thus can only strengthen them. Instead, try to provoke an event yourself, you're afraid of, and observe what happens. For example, you need to come up with a report, and you terribly afraid that will bring down with a thought in the middle of the performance. Take yourself perebeyte his speech with the words: "Hmm, what I just said? "Look at the paper. What will happen? Maybe someone starts to laugh or, on the contrary, angrily stamping their feet? You can give an absolute guarantee that no one eyebrow and not to lead, but it is also a very friendly prompt you about what you said. Be assured that after such a voluntary provocation you will get rid of the fear of public speaking.
Return to Reality
. Often the fear is much more dramatic than the real-life situation
. For example, the husband went to his car in the city, and by the evening had to go back
. Already all the deadlines have passed, and he still no, and phone calls, he does not answer
. Then it turns out: the wheel broke, fumbled in the dark with spare wheel, the phone not to drop his left inside, calls are not heard, running time did not notice
. What wife? All the while, her mind a terrible picture replaced another: here it lies on the side of the road, and the car is broken ... Here he takes a companion, on the one kills him and steals the car ... Or this: he is not really in the country, and on the other, That did not return calls ... all thoughts come and come from only taken! And because the main thing - we do not just contemplate such pictures here, we really are going through every option possible tragedy, losing nerve cells
. 90% of unhappiness that we experience occur only in our imagination
. And there are imaginary misfortune that we have poisoned my life experience?
Acknowledge their falsity strahov.Takoy "popular" fear of the fire in the apartment because of the abandoned iron included almost never come true. And your heart palpitations does not mean the beginning of a heart attack; it's just a natural reaction to the excitement or physical exertion, so do not panic. Very often, many thoughts and feelings we interpret as signals for concern and even panic, although no reason for this, we do not. They saw a fire truck that is rushing towards the area where you live? Let him rides, helping someone in distress. You do now and do not iron-nothing!
Turn your alarm frames filma.Vy can disconnect from your thoughts, turning them into a kind of show. Maybe it's not you argue about how to stretch the money that they have enough to pay, and there is the ridiculous Auntie the cinema, as you sit with popcorn in the hall and quietly watching her? And any movie comes to an end sooner or later!
Put excitement for some vremya.Slishkom often we spend too much time his restless thoughts. This e-mail as a signal - to see that it was another letter, we stop everything and take the time to open it, even if we know that it can be only spam. And what if you do not respond immediately? Try to set a certain time, for example, from 17.00 to 17.30, when you think about their problems. If you are concerned about something at 10 o'clock in the morning - write, and resolutely put off thinking about the evening. Very often it happens that in 17 hours the problem has ceased to exist. Did you spend the whole day in vain without anxiety.
Let events take their cheredom.Inogda we fuss, trying to solve the problem, but all the more confusing. But if you wait a while, then the solution may become more apparent. It's like a drowning man if he panics, screams, claps his hands in the water, it will swallow water and drown. And if he will relax, will spread his arms and stops moving - water alone will push it to the surface. It's a paradox, but when you feel that you have surrendered, at the time you get much more control over the situation.
Rasslablyaytes.Ne forget about breathing at the time of the alarm. In order to raise a skill to relax, very helpful to meditate.
Take a leap in vremeni.Kogda you something very disturbing, try to imagine what you will feel on this occasion in a month, a year. Often, past issues seem to us even ridiculous after a while. These "tours of the time" to help you ease the anxiety somewhat devalued in your eyes the cause. Everything passes, "and this too shall pass! "(Because it was written on the ring of the wise King Solomon).
Do not let worries keep you from living your zhiznyu.Mnogie of them, as we have said, will be false, and therefore not worth wasting time on them and risk the health. Do not cut yourself off from life, try to fill it with a variety of cheerful colors. And do not forget to reward yourself every time you manage to cope with their fears and anxieties.
It so happens that we do occur troubles and unhappiness, and anxiety becomes a consequence of suffering a stress. We can live for a while as though on autopilot. But do not despair. If you work on yourself and on your feelings, the fear and anxiety recede, and the more they will never be poisoning our lives.
We recommend to check out how to increase self-confidence