Let's face it: we all have from time to time use excuses and excuses
. It's a "small, fair-haired, fluffy" a lie that helps us when, for example, well, did not want to here right now to talk to a friend on the phone today to fulfill the promise of yesterday, this mother
. Or in the morning you horrifies need to get up and trudge to work, and it is quite a success, after yesterday's party with friends! And some just simply did not hear the alarm clock in the morning
. Of course, there are those unique people who wake up before the alarm rings, and they are fresh and cheerful in the morning, joyfully greeted the new day
. But this is a very rare species that are on the verge of extinction
. Most of us have difficulty waking up in the morning, always somewhere late and therefore constantly justified
. Interestingly, someone succeeds brilliantly, and this young lady always easy out dry from the water
. Why is that? Yes, because she knows how to make excuses
. Imagine a good excuse to really help you to remove the burden of guilt in the eyes of others
. So you should learn how to find yourself a good excuse, and most importantly - learn how to present it
How to present a justification
Please refer to the person to whom you justify, with respect. Try to make a compliment, even if it is appropriate and the situation allows. Say, for example: "Knowing your generosity, I hope for leniency." Or something like that - depending on the situation and the degree of closeness of your relationship.
Do not mumble, not "chew" sounds ("uh", "um"). This does not give you credibility. On the contrary, once it becomes clear that you're lying, and you will look very silly too. Speak with confidence, to convince the person who designed your excuse.
Stand tall, do not slouch. Head down and shoulders are non-verbal cues of your guilt. Do not forget about the other non-verbal cues: shifty eyes or gaze directed away from the source, say that you are dishonest. Therefore, look directly into the eyes of the person with whom you are talking. Stay confident, but talking with the slightly apologetic.
Try to follow the expression of his face. Smile and maintain a neutral, calm expression - again, depending on the situation.
If you ask any questions related to your excuse respond quickly without long pauses. Otherwise it will be clear that you are considering another excuse.
Try to find a reasonable and convincing excuses. If you give free rein to their imagination, you can get caught up in a web of lies. And the excuses will look implausible. And do not forget later what you said, and then expose themselves.
How to invent a good excuse?
It is not often we can be a real good reason which can justify. More often have to resort to a "small, little white, fluffy." Sometimes, we go to come up with a brilliant excuse: "I already came in the subway, but a guy who bought a cup of coffee in the machine accidentally splashed it on my blouse. So I had to go back to change clothes. " Or: "An elderly woman fell on a frozen puddle covered with snow. It looks like she broke her leg, and I call for an ambulance and waited for her arrival. " In an extreme case, as follows: "The bus was not a break, and I took a taxi and the taxi driver took me to the wrong person."
But more often find a plausible excuse is not so easy. Come to mind banality. When it is necessary to take time off from work, we begin to put pressure on the pity: we have to "bury" the grandmother, the dog, the goldfish. Or begin to weave and do something absurd. As a boy, the student who does not think of anything better to justify their absences than bring an explanatory note "from the pope," written with his own hand of truant. In short, who justified - he knows how difficult it is to come up with a good excuse. Let's try to find excuses options!
Various excuses to different people and situations
You do not do your homework? This is very bad! Try not to do! However, there are really respectful of the situation that an adult may seem disrespectful
. For example, not every teacher would agree that the birth of kittens your cat could be a justification for the fact that yesterday you did not even remembered their textbooks and notebooks
. And how to justify the girl, whose head does not climb anything but thoughts of a cute classmate, just yesterday to send her a valentine? And in general, not to mention the distinguished teacher, what do you prefer playing on the Playstation study of such "interesting" formulas! Well, let's think of something
. Just do not try to say something like "the dog ate my notebook writing!" It is a very long time does not work! It is better to give reasons related to some crisis in the family - such as a brother or sister is in the hospital, I had to take the necessary things
. Or your grandmother got sick, you had to help her put things in order, go to the grocery store and cook food
. Your aunt was detained at work, and you had to pick up her nephew from nurseries and keep an eye on him
. In any case, the fact remains that in an emergency help your family will always be perceived as a substantial justification
How to take time off from work. "Arsenal" is better to create a valid reason in advance, at the right time you can justify effortlessly. Agree with a sore head after a friend's birthday difficult to invent something weighty and plausible. Just keep in mind that at this age is not worth it for the twentieth time to bury her grandmother, it is not necessary to acquire and ten brothers and sisters, who are constantly sick. Some options excuses for the "big girls" we have already mentioned, we can come up with something else in the same vein. The main thing is to make your excuses still marked by diversity.
The car - an important tool in shaping excuses. The car may stall in the middle, can break. It may take a tow truck, it can be stolen (preferably, of course, that all this really happened!). Last - car theft - can serve as an ideal cause, if you took time off from work in the morning directly from the comfort of home. If you woke up and "not found" under the windows of the car, it not only means that you are, of course, can not come to work today, but the whole day you will have to spend in police (well, of course!). And then it turns out that our brave law enforcement officers find your car by the 17.00, and tomorrow you will be able to safely ride it to work.
If you violate traffic rules. By the way, about the car. If you are stopped for some violation, for any woman is a simple but very effective: zaleytes tears! Yes, just start crying like a baby; man's heart would not stand a policeman, and there is a very high probability that you will be released without penalty, only strictly wagged his finger. Just do not try to make sexual innuendos policeman, cry if you do not want or can not. Better to offer money.
At the end of this little frivolous article I would like to seriously say: remember that you can not make constant excuses their way of life. The endless excuses, better learn to be punctual. Of course, anything can happen, without any excuses sometimes impossible to do. Just keep in mind that some people are very well aware of us and see through. So sometimes it is better to tell them the truth.
We strongly recommend to read: How to stop blushing
"I have grown old ..."
Choosing a career instead of children
Change of world view
About mid-life crisis in men heard everything. But, as it became known, women are also susceptible to this psychological disease. Moreover, a midlife crisis in women was seen for a long time. Just before the advent of feminism to talk about it was not accepted. Not fashionable, if you want. And all because women were more dependent on men, family, public opinion. That suffer in silence.
By the way, the crisis of our grandmothers there came a little earlier than today. All the fault of calico dresses univermagea shapeless shoes, chemistry-burned hair and the unavailability of cosmetology. Collect all of these concepts together, and you will understand what we are talking. Or look at the pictures of those years: the textile industry seems to be doing everything possible to hide the feminine form of Soviet women.
Of course, there were exceptions. But if you compare an ordinary woman after forty at the time, and our contemporary, the difference will be obvious. Good thing to save crumbling marriage (a male crisis existed at the Union) helped the party. Why give myself up, if you can just complain to higher authorities? And they will certainly return errant husband to the family.
Today, the fairer sex is more independent, confident. But still not immune to frustration and psychological problems. So mid-life crisis usually occurs in a period of thirty-five to the period of five years. Note for women during this period comes five years earlier than men, and as a youth, for universal approval, ends earlier. If a man forty years has the potential to start a family after the divorce, his coeval - the hard way.
Moreover, the crisis itself begins in the unconscious woman. In the understanding that she is aging. Externally, the woman can be very attractive, but TV shows, glossy magazines will demonstrate her young face sixteen little girls, who are still to come.
But do not be distracted. It is better to talk about the signs of midlife crisis for women. But we do not just describe them and offer options out of the situation.
"I have grown old ..."
It is noticed that the first symptoms of the crisis of middle-aged women appear with obvious signs of aging of the body. At the moment when the state of mind does not match appearance. The woman still feels young, capable of desperate acts, crazy feeling, but a mirror shows indifference early wrinkles, plump waist and cellulite on the thighs. Many argue bitterly: "I do not recognize myself in the mirror! Who is this terrible monster? Who else, but not me. " However, the day-to-day reflection of changes only for the worse. And with that you need to accept.
It all depends on how a woman has changed over the last fifteen years. And who exactly is next to it. With attentive and responsive to her husband enough to change the hairstyle, wardrobe update and join the pool. If the second half of exacerbating the suffering of his wife, the woman decided to take extreme measures, starting with a young lover and ending with a plastic surgeon with a scalpel.
Actively molodyaschayasya woman - the phenomenon is not as widespread as molodyaschiysya man. Somehow, a short haircut and tight jeans society forgives men more readily than women. And for good reason. After all, look younger than you are - it's wonderful. Just do not do it for the sole purpose for which achievement all means are good. And then you might miss some very important moments in your life, such as children get older, or self-esteem at any age.
It is common in women such a crisis in a marriage when the children have grown up, and understanding with her husband was irretrievably lost during periods of diapers, raspashonok, kindergartens, schools, and drawing circles. Sometimes a woman so passionately begins to deal with children that really forgets that a son or daughter eventually zavedut her family, and she will be together with her husband. With the thus which I have not talked heart to heart.
As a result, children grow up, and the mother feels lonely and finds that life is lived not as we would like. And even attempt to get close to her husband show that next to her is not the man for whom she once married. Man has changed, and the interests of those who once alike in a couple of now irrelevant.
Some women in this case began to go career. But most of all - give birth to the child. In this way they not only fill the spiritual emptiness, but also extend, in their view, their own youth. In general, this problem belongs to the category of those that are easier to prevent than to solve. In extreme cases, it may very well contribute to the rapprochement of visiting family psychologist.
Choosing a career instead of children
Women who all his life had been busy building a successful career, is also suffering from a midlife crisis. They begin to understand that in the pursuit of success have missed the quiet moments of family happiness and the joy of motherhood. Iron Ladies are beginning to stare at babies in strollers. They began to play the maternal instinct. And it's probably the easiest form of midlife crisis in women.
Women or quickly find a husband to create a full family and have a baby, or give birth to themselves and finally perform the most important function entrusted to them by nature. I must admit that these women eventually become quite good mothers. They are used for many years to build a business to a large responsibility, and child-rearing are not suitable for less serious.
Change of world view
Often midlife crisis is associated with the revaluation of a life lived. Like all good. My husband does not drink, does not smoke. Children learn, work, and do not become alcoholics and criminals. The family wealth. Work is stable, with nine in the morning until five in the evening. On weekends - giving. Summer - a trip to the sea. But something is still wrong.
The woman suddenly wakes up a little maximalist - it reflected itself in the age of seventeen. When it seemed that the whole world at your feet. If married, it is only a prince. And to live exclusively in the castle by the sea. And the children - solid genius.
But in the end it turns out that the prince has a habit of walking around the house in shorts, abdomen and has never lowers the toilet seat toilet. Luxury Castle ironically become a standard Khrushchev, where spring and autumn flow ceilings (last floor, after all), and the children ... .. children? Conventional get the kids. Not Surikov, not Einstein, not Abramovich. Living on a scholarship, sbiraetsya money on a smartphone, quarrel with their parents. Just like everyone else.
Through this step will inevitably pass all mature personality. You can not live half their lives and not let subtotals. Firstly, because you can really estimate made, and secondly, to understand where to go. Well, maximalist have to appease. Chances are if you really want to live in the palace with the prince, you would have lived there, only now would you be happier?
The most difficult aspect of the crisis of middle-aged woman can be called, at which she absolutely did not want to. It is not interested in a personal relationship, no children, no career. One day a woman starts to believe that her life had gone with youth, and she accepted hopelessly adrift.
You can not identify a clear cause of the crisis. It is hidden somewhere in the depths of the subconscious, even more than causes discomfort. Usually this takes place mid-life crisis in women secretive and taciturn, who believe that the best friend - a pillow, and do not have like-minded people. They cried, and something on the fate of no one. That suffer in silence.
In such cases it is very difficult to help the woman. Especially the family usually takes symptoms like crap than exacerbating the problem. It is not callousness relatives. Remember the woman's credo: no close. Therefore, with the family she had the cool relations.
If a husband and wife - the same age, the midlife crisis coincides with the male, and the couple has a good chance to disperse. While his wife hopelessly looking at the ceiling, her husband begins to intensively young. He buys a fancy motorcycle, and eventually realizes that does not want to see next to a plump woman with an extinct sight. Ironically, divorce allows a woman to shake things up and continue to live on.
However, we would advise not to solve the problem so dramatically, and not to wait until the collapse of the family contribute to the crisis in women. Best of all - time to see a psychologist or therapist.
Finally I want to say to all the women who recognized themselves in this article: Be strong. You have gone through childbirth, long periods of feeding, diapers and night sleep deprivation (all mothers we currently understand, because what is considered the responsibility of women's sometimes very difficult to survive). You coped with family problems and life's small troubles.
So do not you'll master some kind of midlife crisis? It argues Katya from the movie "Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears" after forty life is just beginning. So let's start it with a smile!