I'm sure many of us at least once, but once suffered material losses. Someone lent a friend money for a major purchase, and then "forgot" to return or claimed that it was your voluntary gift. Someone lost a wallet, in which lay the entire salary. And someone has lost well-paying jobs. Someone's husband was a guarantor who has taken a loan from a friend, and then was forced to repay the debt of bankrupt loser. Someone burned his case. But you never know what might happen! But the trouble is that in addition to financial losses, there is also the emotional fallout that came down on losing money man. It literally knocked out of the rut and does not know how to survive the loss of money.
There is nothing surprising in the fact that people are grieving for the lost money, jobs, apartments or cars. Here's why: any kind of loss is a natural reaction - sad. Try to remember its state when you have something to lose. Maybe it was a pet, a relationship with a loved one, a stolen car or your favorite project at work. Have you experienced any of these emotions?
- Feelings of guilt, self-blame
- The feeling of loneliness
Or these behaviors:
- Social withdrawal
- Insomnia or drowsiness
- Eating disorders
This is an incomplete list of feelings, emotions and behaviors that are characteristic of the grieving process. And if you're faced with some of them - then you are most likely experiencing grief.
We are accustomed to thinking that mountain we can experience only after a loved one dies we loved one. We are not inclined to accept our feelings as sadness when we lose something besides a loved one. But when it comes to financial losses, it is not just about money. It would not act on us emotionally devastating as if they were just lost money. We suffer other losses together with a sudden drop in assets. What kind? Let's talk about the loss of really large sums of money from a worldly point of view and look at a few examples of how it can affect your life and your plans.
What can affect a large financial loss?
Retirement plans. You may save money in order to not need after retirement. Or to buy a house closer to nature. Or go on a long journey. And you somehow lost the money. Or they lost their jobs and are now forced to live on the money that would be postponed.
Savings in the education of children. Have you ever thought that your children go to study in another city, and you would be ready to ensure that financially support them all the years of study. Or are you planning to use a paid form of education.
House or apartment. Perhaps you took out loans, and now do not know how to pay for them, and accrued interest. Do you not have to sell their homes to repay the bank debt?
Social status. You were once a successful highly paid professionals, and now - unemployed housewife who is forced to watch helplessly as her husband, knocking out power, one is trying to provide for his family and pay the mortgage.
Life style. Your life may have been very busy up to this loss. Good nutrition, rest in the resorts or travel the world, buying gifts to friends and family ... A lot of what seemed like a matter of course, was no longer available.
The script of life. When you were very young, you came up with a script for yourself life. "I'll be a doctor." "I want to work with animals." "I will become an actress." When you are older, you have expanded the script: "I received a good education, get a great job, I get married and live exciting, happy life! "Most likely, your script did not include something like" I have lost all of their savings in 50 years "or" I'm going to trust someone all the money that I stole them, and again, I'll work in 70 years ". Or, "I'll buy your dream home, and then type loans and will be forced to sell it."
Sudden changes in your life and wreck dreams greatly exacerbate the emotions that arise in financial losses. Man experiences real grief, he does not know how to survive the loss. The situation is aggravated by the fact that in spite of the similarity of emotion with emotion at the loss of a loved one, there are still some differences:
- The perception of the surrounding events. It's one thing to tell someone that your mother died, and quite another thing - to say that you have lost money, for example, in the financial pyramid. It is unlikely that you will sympathize. Anyway, we do not normally communicate with friends and acquaintances on the issues related with money. Here is a man with his grief alone.
- Denial of recognition of grief. Usually they lose money think, "I should not have killed so as if someone had died." Yes, fortunately, losing money is not the same thing as the death of someone close. But you can not devalue their feelings, you can not drive them inward.
- The absence of a social ritual for such grief. We have many rituals associated with death: funeral, funeral, mourning, etc. All this helps to survive the death of a close and adjust to a world in which there are no more dear to us humans. But there is nothing at all that would help us somehow to survive the grief of major financial losses. And human remains but sorrow and a feeling of complete collapse of the entire life.
So all it really is difficult to survive, is not it? It is difficult if you do not know how to survive the loss of large sums of money and financial well-being right. Even in such a difficult time for you to have the opportunity to not only recover from the loss, but even began to flourish. We will tell you what to do to better transfer the psychological burden, to recover from the shock and return to normal life.
How to survive and begin to flourish, suffering financial losses
First, let's talk about how to survive the financial loss:
- Allow yourself to take the loss
Accept the fact that the loss actually happened to you. At first, your mind will refuse to accept what happened as a reality. This is normal because the negation - a strong defense mechanism. It protects you from the pain until you are ready to deal with it. And when you catch yourself thinking: "Even if the new job I will get only half of what I was getting before, we will still be able to live like before," it means that you still refuse to take a loss. But it is necessary as soon as possible to evaluate the situation and make it a reality, to seek a way out of this situation.
Allow yourself to grieve what you have lost. Are you sure you have experienced loss. It is necessary to give vent to their emotions - to cry, to grieve. If you hide your feelings and pretend that nothing has happened, you are only increase stress and overload the nervous system. So long sick!
Do not resist. This does not mean that you should give up. But it does mean that you have to recognize, as well as recognize the emotions that you have experienced financial losses and your situation has worsened. Such recognition, as opposed to self-deception (they say, everything will be like before ...) will help you to think and act constructively to improve the situation.
- Create and use a support system
Find people you can trust: friends, family, close-minded people. Gather your support team. They sympathize and help you as well as to help with the loss of a loved one. Take their help!
Speak. To give vent to his feelings in private with itself - it is one thing, and talk about your feelings with your friends - it is quite another. Moreover, it is necessary to talk not just about the loss of (what and how much you lost), but about the emotions that this loss causes you. This is very important because it is a good way to "recycle" your grief and not get stuck in it.
- Change your perspective on what is happening
Stop lamenting. Of course, this is easier said than done; but, remembering the bitter moment again and again, trying to "fix" the situation in the past, you hurt yourself today. You will significantly narrow down the scope of their world, leaving a place for this issue and make it the only one in your life. Leave what happened in the past. Life goes on. Expand your focus and see what else is important in your life. Even after the most devastating bankruptcy can survive. It's not cancer ...
Think about your previous difficulties. When you are faced with this loss, you could seem - is the worst thing that could happen to you. Maybe it is. But surely before you met with some difficulties in your life, because the share of each person drops a lot of tests. Agree that previous difficulties were not resolved themselves, you had to put a lot of effort to overcome them. Let your past victories will give you the courage and motivation to serve and to overcome this obstacle.
Do not stay in the past and did not get ahead of ourselves; Think about today. It is also not easy. It is clear your thoughts and concerns about what is now going to happen with you. But instead, to reflect on the events of the past or the future panic, better think about what's happening right now. Take your mind to find a solution the problem, not mourning his future, think about what you can do today.
And now - about what can be done for future prosperity:
- Take a lesson
Learn from your mistakes. Analyze where you made a wrong move. What he was called? Probably taken at the time the decision was dictated by your excessive concentration on material values? Perhaps you are too trusting? Or maybe you just did not have any specific knowledge? Draw conclusions and extract a lesson, and let the experience will help you avoid making similar mistakes in the future.
- Find the pros
A grain of sand that irritates the oyster in the beginning because, in the end turns into a pearl. Economic difficulties that you are now experiencing, may serve as an impetus to your development. They can open your eyes to new possibilities that are open to you and that you did not notice before.
Pros can always be found, even in the most difficult times. After the accident happened, at first it seems to us that there is nothing more terrible could happen. But if you use the above tips, you can open a lot of new: to see new ways to enhance their well-being, to acquire new knowledge and skills to do something like that, what was missing before the determination. You can see how we, it turns out, are strong in spirit, and significantly improve their self-esteem. Finally, you can see how important the support of friends and a lot of people really love us.
- Begin to act
Make a plan, to include all possible steps to restore the financial gap emerged. Action will help you see your prospects in the future, and uncertainty will no longer oppress you.
What you quickly recover from the financial losses, of course, it will not mean that you return the lost money. But it will mean that you have learned to survive in a difficult situation, and will thrive in the future.
How do you prefer to take your loss - as a defeat or a new opportunity?