Self-esteem affects absolutely all the deeds and actions of man. You can not even guess about it, but repeatedly fail associated with it. Usually based on a variety of issues is the most banal low self-esteem. How to define it? What are the causes of such personal characteristics? What to do?
The source of all ills
Like all the other components of personality, self-confidence does not arise out of nowhere. It is based on childhood memories, relationships with people, personal experience and character traits. All of these things together and make our perception of yourself - "I'm good," or "I'm bad." And if a person in one area all good and the other problems, it may impose a definite imprint on his life.
Most of the problems are known from childhood. Man grows and develops due to the fact that unchecked "absorb" all the information that it gives parents and the environment. Similarly, the self-generated: a small child is not yet able to assess their behavior and self-image is based on suggestion from the immediate environment, as well as their reactions. That is why, if the parents are constantly abused the child, he gets used to the feeling of worthlessness.
It is understood that the father and mother always wish good to the child. In some cases, these requests are transformed in high demand on the child. He should behave, get one five, to be clean and tidy - on the one hand, these things sound quite normal, and on the other, may be the cause of the child's sense giperotvetstvennosti, which subsequently lead to a sense of emotional constraint. If he can not meet these requirements, he feels like a failure. But even if it turns out, the child develops a stereotype that it is good only when you listen to the parents, and in all other cases, it is bad.
Often the cause of low self-esteem are any defects in appearance or disease. The child in this case, does not feel like others, and the environment confirmed his guess. Especially hard if over him constantly peers laugh, because then falls on the shoulders of the parents is no easy task to find and provide a resource for the child, based on which it will see the dignity and uniqueness.
Not necessarily low self-esteem roots lie deep in my childhood. Sometimes it is quite a serious professional failures or traumatic relationship. This is usually in cases where adverse events attributed excessive importance. Man begins to engage in self-flagellation, instead of thinking how to fix the situation. Naturally, this leads to loss of self-esteem, causing a person ceases to be a success on all fronts, it is even more reduced self-esteem.
In some cases, the role of the traumatic factor assumes any importance to you people, for example, husband or boss. If over time it will do just that criticize you and emphasize your flaws, it is not surprising that sooner or later you will agree with him. Some only ones manage to even give a negative assessment of your prospective future actions. That is why you should not take for granted all of you says, consider constructive criticism, and from the rest of negativity just closed.
Among the people who consider themselves losers, very popular mechanism for comparison. Observing the success of those who have achieved more in life, you can motivate yourself to achieve new goals. However, some people, this mechanism becomes excessive, and it turns out the opposite effect: instead of inspiration, a man begins to feel worthless and ceases to undertake any new initiatives. Remember that there is always someone who does something better than you, but that does not mean that you are bad. You just need to get accustomed to it and think that it makes so special and whether it suits you personally. And, of course, is to set adequate to the situation and the real purpose as a constant disappointment still no inspiration.
Symptoms of low self-esteem
The lack of respect from the people around you. That's how the world is that the person with whom you are communicating intuitively feels and perceives you according to your self-relation. And if you love yourself and respect, he would do the same - like otherwise. In addition, a person with low self-esteem tend to choose to communicate these partners that will confirm this opinion. It is a vicious circle, pull itself out of which only you can.
The tendency to self-flagellation. It is both a cause and consequence of low self-esteem. The habit of complaining about life, bad circumstances, its own helplessness - just that the clock engaged insecure people. Constant feeling of self-pity and the position of the victims say the unwillingness to take responsibility for their own lives, it is much easier to blame it on the environment.
Constant nervousness and anxiety. Diffident girl is very difficult to go through life: it seems that everywhere it lurk dangers and domestic turmoil. It is very exhausting, and a person even more discouraged.
Suspicion towards others. A person with low self-esteem tend to blame not only themselves, but all the others. He is full of claims to the whole world, because it carries its own outside the negative perception.
Constant thoughts about what you unhappy, unlucky, ugly, sick, etc. ... In itself you do not like everything, starting with the eyebrow shape and ending with literary tastes. This subconsciously you do not aspire to hide their shortcomings, but on the contrary, highlights their - a strange manner of dress or stupid statements, for example.
Loneliness and a lack of close friends. Because of the above features of a girl with low self-esteem becomes impossible to establish a close relationship of trust. Her throws from depression and sadness to periodic attempts to be someone else, wearing a false mask. Of course, what's the point of this is not nothing, and eventually a girl turns into a more embittered the whole world shrew.
How to increase self-esteem?
All what we have written above, does not mean the end of the world - you can still remedy the situation. Thinking over the question of how to raise self-esteem women, we must not forget that there are no magic wands. So the effort that you have to take, should be regular and sincere.
First of all, stop to abuse and blame themselves, because that way your mind is programmed to constantly negative self-perception. At first to fulfill this requirement will be difficult, and you will probably have to just stop the flow of your own thoughts in those moments, and switch to something else.
Another step in the right direction will be a search for alternative reasons for your failures. If you've been accused of all the misadventures of yourself, then it is time to stop this! Every time there is something bad and you feel as though the reason for this is in your faults, try to find alternative explanations. For example, the chief criticized your report. You can, of course, endlessly "chew" the idea of what you are unlucky sad sack, and you can look for other explanations: you wrote the report, "a left foot", as there was no time (this is different from the banal self-flagellation - here you will recognize its responsibility and try to correct the error), the Chief of bad mood, etc. ... At first, you may be difficult to carry out this exercise, but soon it will become a habit, and your brain will begin to automatically think in a constructive way.
It should also stop to compare yourself with others - at least for a while. In the light will always be those who will be smarter, prettier, stronger, and better than you for some other parameters. This does not mean that you should put up with it - rather, stop upset on this occasion. In comparison, it takes too much time and mental energy to devote to better self. And when someone does you a compliment, simply say "thank you" instead of "nothing special". Thus, you will no longer internally underestimate its advantages and agree with them.
Very good with a given task cope affirmations - positive statements aimed at increasing confidence. They are widely used by people for self-improvement in various areas of life: feminine, health, success, achieving goals, etc. ... Blurts affirmations every day several times. To enhance the effect, write down the most important statements on the small leaves and decomposes them at home. Every time you think will fall on them, you are more and more you believe in yourself.
Write a list of your personal achievements. It does not necessarily have to be global and serious cases - include in it all what you personally think it is important, and brings joy and self-satisfaction. For example, cross-stitch pattern embroidered or regular visits to the gym. Regularly review the list. It is best to do it with my eyes closed, reviving the memory picture of your achievements. The same applies to a list of your positive qualities, which must consist of at least twenty lines. You will be surprised how much you wonderful man!
Try to reduce the communication with people who constantly criticize you. Instead, meet up with positive and confident individuals who will charge you own vitality. It's amazing how easy and pleasant to be surrounded by people who support you and do not feed on your energy.
In conclusion, I want to say that to increase self-esteem girl, you must be in place and do what she really likes. In this case, behind supposedly grow light and invisible wings, which help you to be active and joyful. As soon as your self-esteem will rise, you will forget about their failures and gain peace of mind. And your whole life will confirm the fact that you - a bright and unique people.
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