Mom and baby. What could be more natural? The main mission of every woman - of course, it is caring for the child and his upbringing. However, modern society and the rhythm of life dictate their conditions. And the modern woman has can not always afford to stay at home three, but even a half years, until the crumb will not go to kindergarten. Although, of course, my mother should try to be at home as long as possible.
But if for some - any objective reasons mother should return to work, as a rule, with the child still grandmother or other relatives. However, such a possibility is not every young family. In such situations, the only way out is a nanny for the child. However, it is not so easy as it might seem at first glance. It is important to know exactly how to choose a baby sitter. After all, the right choice will avoid babysitting huge number of different problems, hassle and mutual claims.
The first thing you must do before you start looking for a nanny - that's for sure for yourself to determine what you need help with a stranger. As a rule, are more common following situations:
Often a young mother just physically does not have time to deal with all fallen down on her responsibilities - child care, feeding, cleaning. Yes, and the spouse needs attention. Not surprisingly, the young mother very quickly wore down to the limit. And he starts to think about the means of babysitting.
However, in this case, it makes more sense not to look for a nanny and au pair. Housekeeper almost completely eliminates the need for a woman to carry out most of the housework. Washing, cleaning, cooking - all women know how much time and effort consuming these things.
If these functions are assigned to the housekeeper, a young mother appears plenty of spare time she can spend on the child, the man, in the end, themselves. A few hours of daytime sleep can radically change the quality of life of women. Yes, and leave the sleeping baby in the care of au pairs you can always.
Out moms work
But women go out to work it means helping the nurse, who will take over all the worries and troubles related to child care and education. By the way, child psychologists and experts in recruitment of domestic staff is not highly advised to hire a nanny, whose function is also to work on the house. In this case, note the nurse is not only focused on the child. Of course, we are not talking about cooking baby.
I perfection - Mary Poppins
Surely everyone remembers the good story and its main character - a nanny Mary Poppins. Really - just perfection and the ideal sample nanny. Where are the real-life, you can find a babysitter? And really - to choose a babysitter in our time is very difficult, but still possible. To learn how to do it right, and you will learn a little lower.
Psychologists recommend to give preference to the woman, whose age varies between 30 - 45 years. As a rule, the psyche of women in this age segment of the most stable - the first love, study and sessions are over. A to disorders of the nervous system, which is not uncommon during menopause, it is still far. And the steadiness and consistency are crucial babysitting.
Often parents make a very common mistake - to hire women of retirement age, believing that she would treat the child better and with more love. Of course, some truth in this opinion is, and quite large. However, the excessive love can bring a lot of headaches. Often it happens that your child will be projected all that love which only a woman is capable of. And its relationship to the child reach far beyond what are permissible for a nanny.
The child, especially small, as a rule, very quickly becomes attached to the nurse, who loves him very much. It would seem that it is good, but not always. And first of all, suffers from this situation, it is my mother. Almost all the women begins to appear jealous. As a result, relationships begin to deteriorate in a family atmosphere is tense, nervous and my mother, and the nurse and the baby.
In addition, once during the reception babysitting job, discuss all the nuances of child-rearing. It is undesirable to abruptly change the daily routine of the child and his usual rituals. For example, if a child my mother always read before bed, let it does the same nurse. A small child, according to psychologists, most difficult to endure any changes in life, even the most insignificant.
Types of nurses
In addition, parents must decide for themselves exactly what is needed to nurse their baby. There are several varieties of nurses:
Daytime babysitting. Daily nanny needed most working parents, to care for the child during the day. Typically, the working time of such nurse takes an average of 8 to 12 hours, five - six days a week. Salary in this case, payable either in strictly defined amount of monthly or hourly. The duties of the day included the nurse feeding a child cooking his meals, walks with them, leisure child's swimming, trips to the clinic, cleaning the baby's room. In short, the performance of all the duties that are usually assigned to the mother's shoulders.
The night nurse. In some cases, young parents have to resort to the help of a night nurse. Most often it comes to kid about 8 pm and leaves at 9 - 10 am. The responsibilities of the nurse include a full child care at night - changing diapers, night feeding, sleeping child. As a rule, the night nurse is needed in two cases: either the parents work at night or not getting enough sleep catastrophically mother. Remember that the babysitting at night are the most expensive.
Meeting on the evening. This type of nurses most in demand in the event that the child attends kindergarten. The duties of such a babysitter comes to take the child out of kindergarten and look after them until their parents return from work. As a rule, you can find a similar nanny or among students or among pensioners. Employment is expected very small, and therefore the salary in this case is also small.
Meeting with accommodation. This kind of nannies - the most expensive. As a rule, such a babysitter can afford only a very well-provided family. Hour nanny living in the family home, everything child care are the responsibility of the nurse. By choosing such a babysitter must be approached very carefully, because it is, in fact, is a real member of the family.
The choice is made, what's next?
So, how to choose a babysitter, you know. Next, you need to apply this knowledge in practice - that is, to choose a nanny. You can go to a special recruitment agency, or else give a personal ad, or search among friends. As a general rule, to find a good nanny can be any of the following methods.
Too many parents allow the same mistake - leave your child with a babysitter immediately after she goes to work. However, much more reasonable at least the first week stay with a babysitter and child. Thus, the mother will always be able to correct any - any moments in communicating the child and the nurse, tell the nurse about all the nuances and individual characteristics of the child.
And, in addition, for a week you will know the solution to your nanny. So, you can leave the child with a babysitter without internal anguish and feelings that the child would be bad without you. And during this time the baby can get used to the nurse, and to feel comfortable in her presence.
We recommend that read: adaptation of children in kindergarten
Sometimes life is composed in such a way that there is a need to change the name of the child. All moms are reasons for it - to go into detail does not make sense. And after a decision to change the names adopted, there is a question about the practical side of the process. Can I change the name of the child and the need for a name change?
In article 59 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation, regulating the issue of changing the name or names of the child, said that the child's name can be changed with the consent of both parents or one, if the other is deprived of parental rights. Besides, a child who has attained the age of fourteen years shall have the right to decide on change of name to the name of the father or mother.
As we can see, for the name change requires the consent of both parents. And what to do if a woman is not married, but the father is not deprived of parental rights? Really the only way is to appeal to the court with a claim for deprivation of parental rights of the father? It turns out, is not necessary.
In the event that the child's mom and dad do not live together, the parent with whom the child lives - often the mother has the right to change the child's surname to his own. But to do this in most cases the guardianship authorities will require the consent of the other parent - this is the easiest path. Try to find an opportunity and reach an agreement with his former spouse.
Of course, at first glance, this task can seem almost impossible. However, a call to try to leave all their personal ambitions and resentments and carry on a conversation in a constructive way. Remember that you are reasonable people and adults who are able to negotiate peacefully. Try to explain his request arguments, rather than just "I want." Try to refrain from negative comments about her husband, even if you decide to change the name of your baby only to a former spouse you do not like anything. Like saying you will not get from your former spouse nothing, except for the reaction of protest.
Perhaps the first time you do not get to come to an agreement. It is not necessary at the end of an unsuccessful call to insult the man and angrily slam the door or throw the phone. By such actions you "burn the bridges" for the retreat and the opportunity to return to the conversation again. But, as you know, the water wears away the stone. And perhaps the second or third conversation will bring the expected result.
Many mothers refuse to even try to talk to the former spouse, believing that this process will take a very long time. But in fact, in practice, the procedures to change the names of the court often takes much more time, effort and nerves.
If an agreement could not
So, to agree on - a good father of a child with you, despite all efforts failed. What to do next? Can I change the name of the child without his consent? It turns out that there are some situations in which an exception to the rules and changing the names of the child without the consent of the father. Perhaps these exemptions in the law that may become a loophole through which you can manage to get his name and changed without the consent of her ex-husband. Examples of these cases include:
The unknown whereabouts of the child's father
The law allows to change the name of the child on the mother's name without the consent of the father in the event that his whereabouts were unknown and install it is not possible. This option can be a way for you in the event that your spouse is not living at the place of their residence. After all, you might not know where he is now, is not it? And check this information no one can. However, if the place of residence is home to your mother in law or other relatives of the former husband, there is always a risk that they will have time to promptly transfer to your former spouse a letter of guardianship authorities.
Evasion of timely payment of alimony
Another case provided for by law, which allows you to change the name of the child without the consent of his father - a deviation from the child support. That is why all lawyers advise women to apply for child support immediately after the divorce, and carefully keep all receipts for payment. However, in this matter also has its "pitfalls" - the husband can claim to give you the money in hand and brought food, toys or clothes. There are cases when such grief - dad even managed to bring witnesses with him to trial. Of course, this is an extreme case, but you must be ready for anything.
Evasion of child rearing
Another reason for the possible change of surname of the child without the consent of his father - a man evasion from participation in the child's upbringing. However, in this case all is very conditional, and the outcome depends solely on subjective vision of your situation through the eyes of a special committee or a judge. Agree, is not always possible to prove that the father takes no part in the upbringing of the child - a man can lead a thousand and one super good cause for which he could not fulfill their parental responsibilities. However, it's worth trying - very often the reason for this is the only way to change the name of the woman to her baby.
Just change the name to the child if the child was born out of wedlock and last name on the birth certificate has been recorded from the words of the mother - single. To do this, a woman should consult with the appropriate application to the guardianship and custody. And if a child is born out of wedlock, but paternity has been established, a woman can go to court with a claim for recognition of the establishment invalid.
What to do?
If at least one of the above reasons is right for you, you should consult with the appropriate application to the guardianship authorities located at the place of your residence or the residence of the child. Professionals should work there to tell you in detail how to change the child's name. Be prepared to present all the necessary documents and any other evidence to support your words. In addition, you will need to write an application for changing the names without the consent of the child's father. It is not necessary to treat writing statements too lightly - more than in the statement describes your situation is, and what a reasoned request for a change of surname of the child, the greater chance you have that the guardianship authorities will take your side and make a positive decision.
In the same case, if you all - still failed to convince the guardianship authorities that there is a real need to change the child's name, you can go to court. In that case, if you have the opportunity, it is advisable to contact an experienced attorney on conducting family affairs, who will take care of all, from the writing of the claim and ending with the control of the execution of the judgment. Otherwise you will have to do all this alone. Make sure in advance that you were able to provide the court with all necessary evidence, present witnesses.
After the guardianship authorities will give you permission to change of name, you must apply to the registrar, in which you get the birth certificate of your child. There you will write a statement on their pattern, which you will attach at the wedding ceremony and the decision of the court or the guardianship authority. After that you will be given a new birth certificate with your name. And this procedure is how to change the name of a child over.