Unfortunately, even in modern life that is very rich in various accidents - criminal showdowns, accidents, natural disasters - sometimes there are events that are able to plunge into shock the most experienced physicians and investigators. What is already talking about an ordinary man in the street? Such incidents include children's suicide.
The child is the epitome of the beginning of life, in front of him is a large number of various roads and the opportunities he has yet to learn all that is prepared to offer the man's life. Children's death, perhaps, the most ridiculous and tragic event that you can imagine. But if the death of serious diseases willy - nilly have to put up and take it, death by suicide is always like a bolt from the blue. The mind of other people just refuse to accept this terrible reality - voluntary withdrawal from the life of a child or adolescent.
Child suicide - this is what almost always avoidable. The main thing that is needed - it is time to notice the warning signs
. No child chooses to die and bring the decision to life for a few hours. As a rule, such a decision is brewing in the mind of a child is not a single day or even a week. And all this time the baby cries desperately to adults in various ways making it clear to parents that it is very bad. Attentive parents would not leave without attention to the altered behavior of their chat. Here to tell you more about issues such as the causes of child suicide, prevention and psychological assistance to such baby.
Age of children committing suicide attempt
According to the statistics of teenage suicides tend to attempt suicide do not make kids under 11 years. But we should not delude ourselves and believe that young children there is no severe mental condition. Just kids are not yet fully aware of what death is. But often in their conversations and thoughts of loving and attentive mother and father may notice a cause for alarm. For example, a child psychologist told the case: a little girl of 7 years for a long time repeated that it will turn into a butterfly and flies away from their parents. Parents just laughed at funny childish threats. However, in 12 years this girl has made a very serious attempt suicide by jumping from the 4th floor. Doctors miraculously managed to save her life.
And if kids suicide yet, fortunately, quite rare, something about teen suicide can not say the same thing. It was at the age of 13 - 16 years, as shown by statistics, the peak of teenage suicides. Many child psychologists are inclined to think that the death wish - it is a common reaction to the emergence of adolescent mental stress.
Moreover, the mass suicide adolescent children are by no means rare. In the suicide group, when a group of children at a time or after each other commit so-called "copied" suicide. The mechanism of these suicides is the tendency of teenagers with imitation and heightened suggestibility teenagers.
Children at high risk
Among the people it is very widely believed that attempts to commit suicide only mentally unbalanced people who suffer from various mental illnesses such as schizophrenia, paranoia, as well as some other diseases of the nervous system. In fact, this is not the case. The vast majority of suicides are committed completely mentally healthy people, who are very well aware of their actions.
As a rule, the reasons for suicide are very personal reasons and experiences, the problems that the teenager often seem completely unsolvable. And Conception adults are surprised when they find out what prompted the child to such a move - the reason may be so slight that a grown man - simply would not pay it much attention. For a child as it is global.
The following describes the problems of teenagers, who are most often the cause of teenage suicide. It is not necessary to smile - believe me, the child is really a serious problem:
- Quarrel with friends. And the quarrel may be due to an absolute nonsense.
- Parting with a loved one or a betrayal. In adolescence, children are confident that first love - it's all true, and it is extremely serious.
- The death of someone - or a close relative.
- Frequent hit a child in a stressful situation.
- The complex psychological situation in the family - quarrel with their parents, parents scandals among themselves, their divorce.
- Protracted depression teenager.
- Problems of child drug. Typically, drug addiction entails financial problems and problems with law enforcement.
- Compulsive gambling and dependence on the Internet.
- Violence in family. Often the teenager feels guilty for what is happening and is afraid to tell an adult about what's happening.
- Teenage pregnancy. Pregnancy teen girl becomes an occasion for suicide about 21% of all cases.
Often the tragedy can be avoided. Prevention of child suicide often helps to avoid the worst - death of a child. The main thing that is needed - a parents' attention to the changes in the child's behavior. Often, the first alarm bells may be utter nonsense - a phrase tossed alleged accident or something else.
Always pay close attention to the following factors, showing that the possible child and adolescent suicide:
- Discussions on child suicide unhealthy fantasy on the subject, focus on episodes of suicide in movies, news.
- The appearance of the child literature about suicide, view the relevant information on the Internet.
- Attempts child privacy. The desire for loneliness, rejection of dialogue is not always indicative of predisposition to suicide, but always speaks of moral discomfort of the child.
- Discussions and reflections of the child that it is absolutely no use to anyone, that if he is gone, no one will be looking for, and did not even notice his absence. In no case do not leave without attention to such statements, and not to make fun of them. Try to find out the cause of this sentiment and convince the child of the opposite.
- Even the music or painting can serve as signs for parents that something is wrong. Pay attention to what your child is listening to music.
- Carefully masked child's attempts to say goodbye to you - talk about the unusual love for you, trying to finish all their affairs as soon as possible.
- Giving their favorite and most valuable things that he had never parted, friends.
As if anything in your child's behavior you seem strange or disturbing to immediately drop everything and try to almost all the time to spend with your child as long as there will not be firmly confident that suicidal mood of your baby gone without a trace. If you are not able to cope with the existing problem, do not hesitate to seek immediate help from a child psychologist or psychiatrist.
Also, psychologists proved the fact, and parents need to be aware of this, often teenagers attempt suicide, not because really wants to die. The reason for such a suicide attempt becomes banal desire to attract the attention of others, a kind of cry for help. For these children severed veins or pills are the only way to make the world a kind of degree of their desperation. However, very often such attempts to draw attention to themselves lead to disability and even death to the child.
Indirect prerequisites for suicidal tendencies
The above described symptoms, which often may indicate impending trouble. However, besides the direct attributes, child psychologists have identified a group of teenagers in which the risk of suicide is much higher than that of their peers. The following are the distinctive traits of these children:
- Teenagers who do not know how to properly formulate their thoughts, feelings, can not explain what they feel.
- Ambivalent attitude of a teenager and thus his behavior. On the one hand - a teenager does not feel like a child, his overwhelmed adult experiences and feelings, he has struggled to assert their independence. But at the same time, the teenager is behaving like a child, totally dependent on their parents, both in domestic and emotionally. This contradiction deprives the child's mental equilibrium.
- Hyper expressed teenage maximalism. Child harsh in their judgments and estimates, as the others, and myself.
- The inability to analyze their actions and predict their consequences.
In the study of a large number of child and adolescent suicides, psychologists have noticed one thing in common - almost all children in the heavily disturbed normal psycho emotional bond with his family, and the girls - especially the mother. How would an adult not positioned himself teenager, lack of understanding and contact with the family can greatly exacerbate all the experiences of the child, making them particularly acute, and sometimes almost tragic.
Parents should remember that not all of the deterioration of relations within the family - it's indifference and neglect of their parents. If parents do not trust the child refuse to accept it as is already independent, to form a person who is entitled to their own opinions, outlook, life values and needs, family relationships can deteriorate significantly. Even if you do not directly tell the child about it, he would still be subconsciously feel your confidence and try to protest against the status quo.
This process can take many forms, including the form of attempts or, even worse, of suicide. Suicides among teens are often just a kind of protest. I listen very carefully to what your child says. Sometimes the alarm can serve as a trifling sentence, throw a temper during an argument, as "I do not want to see you! ".
In the same case, if the child allows himself to more serious threats, such as: "I'll cut his veins," or "I'll jump out the window," In no case do not make the most common error - provocative reactions. In no case do not laugh at the child and say that no one would disturb him. Very often, children who talk about suicide with a single purpose - to annoy or blackmail parents received in response to such an ironic response, from a sense of stubbornness and desire to prove to parents that they are wrong, they are resolved on suicide.
Of course, it is understandable that because of its irony and ostentatious, with indifference parents try to mask the chilling fear of the possibility of suicide. And many parents that their children are accustomed to always follow their instructions exactly the opposite, and this time will not change his principles and never dare to such a desperate step, as a suicide.
But be sure to take into account the fact that the child does not know that your words and the response - no more than a pedagogical trick. Doubt in your voice, he may decide at his own expense and try to prove to you their resolve in any way, even as bad as suicide. And your words that blows mock coldness and indifference, the child may be perceived as confirmation and proof that it is absolutely no use to anyone, even his parents.
Actions parents when attempting suicide
If, however, prevent disaster failed, and the child still attempted suicide, parents should adopt a set of urgent measures. Of course, your first feeling is fear and relief from the fact that a child's life have been able to save. Do not hide your feelings from a child under the mask of indifference and even more anger. The child should feel that you really love him and cherish him.
After the child's state of health is stabilized, you will necessarily need to seek help from psychologists. In no case do not neglect the help of professionals - often deal with the problem on its own is almost impossible. In that case, if the doctors deem it necessary to place your child in a specialized rehabilitation center, in any case, do not give up. Remember that your child attempted suicide committed for a reason, so it can repeat it in the event that the reason for her not to be identified and eliminated.
Although, in fairness, it should be noted that, as the statistics show, children's suicide is a single character. Repeated suicide attempts in adolescence occur rarely - no more than one in 600 cases. However, it is still no reason for parents to lose sight control of the emotional state of the child in distress. Often, adults, mature people are not always able to cope with their own emotions. What can we say about the fragile psyche of a teenager.
In the same case, if the child's hospitalization is not required, most of the responsibility for the rehabilitation of the health of the child lies on the shoulders of parents. In no case did not conflict with the child, do not accuse him of anything. Try to understand your child to enter his position and help him. In that case the child will feel your help and support, he probably will not longer try to commit suicide.
When disaster struck
In that case, if there was trouble, and the child died voluntarily, parents can take a long time this fact and come to terms with what happened. But time, as though it may sound trite, treats and sooner or later the parents will gain the ability to analyze what happened. They will have a huge variety of issues, the meaning of which is reduced to only one - "Why ?! ". What exactly led to the adoption of their child so fateful decision?
Almost all parents eventually come to the same sad conclusion: they are somewhere not inspected, did not see the alarm, do not pay attention to the impending disaster. Of course, the realization of this fact is a very difficult process. Along with it comes a terrible, gnawing, debilitating guilt. The life of the parents turns into a living hell.
Often, however, it turns into hell, not only the life of the parents, but the lives of the whole family, which often have another child. And this child is constantly forced into a stressful situation, and often also with a sense of indifference to him. Unfortunately, this happens quite often - blinded by grief and guilt parents cease to properly deal with the second child, often simply ceasing to notice it.
Of course, blame the parents should not be - their mental state is poor and they need professional psychological assistance. Do not neglect the services of a psychologist - because your life is as cynical as it may sound, has not ended with the death of your child. And it depends on you your second pipsqueak - it is vital your support and love. Because otherwise there is a risk of recurrence of the terrible tragedy, to go through that again you are unlikely to be able. Children's lives - it is the most fragile and the most precious miracle that gives people the destiny. And many often depends on how happy and long it will be.