Sadness, grief, sadness, depression ... a man reading on how to overcome depression (ie you) probably are familiar all these states. Depression can creep up quietly but quite noticeable knock you off your feet, and generally ruin lives. It sucks the lifeblood out of the man so that is something to do and something to strive to become meaningless.
Our article is not dedicated to serious mental illness, to whom is really a depression. Many people are used to denote the term lack of interest in anything, always a bad mood, and other things that may not be enough to diagnose depression. And to do this and prescribe treatment can only physician - it can not be forgotten. Therefore, the following will discuss only about longing, melancholy, apathy - all those things that are popularly called "depression".
He begins to weigh the doldrums since its beginning. Into my head bad thoughts, and there is only one requirement - to get rid of it all. But how? After all, in times of suffering depression to return to its former state svoee it seems unrealizable. To still realize it, remember that there is always a way out. And we will help you find it.
To understand the reason
In any phenomenon is a reason. The same is true for depression: something always starts the process of staying in anguish and self-flagellation. Sometimes, of course, it seems that depression started just like that, by itself, but it happens very rarely, and usually serves as an occasion to refer to a therapist. In all other cases, depression is something triggers. How to find the cause of this unfortunate?
The easiest and most efficient way - is to make a list. To do this most efficiently, create around themselves the most calm and relaxed atmosphere in which you nothing will distract. Then imagine the last year of your life. What upset you during this time? What negative impact and instill pessimism? What would you like to forget once and for all? Think and make a list of all these things. To make it easier, try not to assess your attitude and your contribution to the occurrence of these events - write down everything that comes to mind.
Make a list okinte his gaze and analyze. Which of these things could start your depression? Find the answer to this question can help you feelings that arise when thinking about the listed events: those that cause severe sadness, sorrow and anguish, most likely, are the key reasons for your depression.
For these reasons, awareness can be approached from a different side. Remember, in what situations over the past month have you been very upset that immerses you in the experience of depression. Try to identify all of these situations some general concept, for example, in these moments you are disappointed in people, or, on the contrary, people discounted your words and actions. So you will understand that is a trigger for your depression.
Often, however, the causes of depression are not any events, and negative attitudes, sitting in our brains. For example, "I do not know how" can cause very real depression since any person slightest setback will perceive through the prism of their own ineptitude, and the successes and did not notice. Agree offensive doldrums in this case is not surprising!
Find similar installation is easy - they often pop into your head at the wrong time of life. The main thing - is to realize them and fix. Sometimes you need to "continue the thought." For example, in your mind is: "Again you have made all bad! ". This is not the proper setting, but it can hide behind something like "you are a loser" or "your hands are not from that place grow." To find it, you need to proceed with the idea to its logical conclusion and registration in respect to the installation of the self.
Eliminate the "root of all evil"
When the causes of all, it is clear need to move to take decisive action. They should be focused on the transformation of these reasons into something positive or at least neutral. Very often, all the negative effects if "grow" into a person, and must be "root out" completely, with the roots. The good news is that psychology does not stand still, and scientists offer a lot of ways on how to overcome depression.
As we mentioned above, the cause of depression are often negative attitudes towards themselves. They serve as the basis for low self-esteem, which in turn is a source of depression. Unfortunately, such facilities are usually laid in early childhood - the period when the soul of a person absorbs everything like a sponge. And if at this moment any adult you will begin to call "loser", "stupid" or "inept", chances are that it is very well remembered and will affect the future life. How to get rid of such facilities?
In fact, it is not as difficult as it sounds - especially if you have found them. Working with them is to "undermine" them. Few explain this point: The installation itself is usually very rigid in its formulation often heard the word "always", "never", "full", "absolutely", etc. ... Your task - to critically rethink the contents of the installation and make it less radical. For example, "I shall always be the best, otherwise I will be a failure" sounds very tough and does not allow a woman to be happy. However, we should think about it and remove the second part, and change "should" to "want" or "try to" get a completely different result.
The correct setting is also very important is the search for and finding of who this setting you laid. This is usually the parents, grandparents, teachers and other important adults to you. Without even noticing, they say something a tone that brooked no objection, but for some it can be a major regulator of behavior. To nullify the power of such an installation, remember - where and from whom you first heard those words? Then mentally put him on the empty chair in front of him and set up a dialogue: find out why he thinks so, explain why you can no longer, and do not want to meet these stringent standards and tell us about what you would like. Sounds, of course, it is strange, but it helps! After this conversation the power installation is weakened - and in fact we wanted.
Sometimes the cause of depression are higher requirements for myself and for the people. For example, you think that a woman should be good, clever, fun, responsive, active and a lot more. People who do not fit into this framework, you cause irritation, and if you do for some reason, can not be so, if not depression. This is due to the adoption of some subconscious personal qualities and the rejection of others.
In order to "turn off" the mechanism, it is necessary to accept the possibility that people have both polar performance - negative and positive. Easy to say but hard to do, and especially for this purpose there is a psychological exercise. Ideally, it should be used under the guidance of an experienced psychologist, but it is possible and independent application. You need to take two chairs, each of which will mean polar position, for example, "smart" and "dumb" person. Then sit on the chair and the first try on the first image, stay in it, to speak on his behalf, then did the same with the second. Then again, in the first image and sound all the thoughts and objections and then the second - and so to the "understanding" of the two images of each other, finding a compromise.
The experience of loss - this is probably the most frequent cause for the occurrence of depression. Under the loss can be understood almost any significant loss for you: the death of a loved one, separation from loved ones, friends, or moving the end of an important stage in your life. If any of these events plunged into a prolonged depression you have, then you will be interested to know that the best way to survive the loss is the loss of experience. It sounds like "oil oil", but many people tend to ignore, delay or skip this period. This helps zapryatyvaniyu negative feelings that can haunt depression and a year and two. This option is not suitable for those who really want to deal with the loss.
To do this, you must go through a number of important steps:
Awareness of the reality of loss
Many pulled this moment, for example, continuing to deal with the past, but it is not constructive: you just put off unpleasant emotions, not solve the problem. The loss must be recognized and feel - the only way you can start to worry.
The expression of negative emotions associated with loss
Weep, pokrichite - can be loud and foul language. The best thing to do for this special device, such as in a closet or howl pobuystvovat delineated in a circle around you. Feel free to express an emotion, and when it will end - just step out of the circle, or discard the packet. You will feel better - the result is guaranteed.
Completing the "gestalt"
This term refers to all situations in your communion with the departed person that prevent you let him go. For example, what is not said or done. The best way to deal with it - write a letter to that person or give it all to him, presenting him sitting in an empty chair.
Meeting the needs of the departed person
He must have given you a lot of things: love, care, communication, finance, assistance, support - all these things you will miss without him. To make it easier to survive the loss, it is necessary to find ways in which you will meet their needs without the man himself.
Search sense of loss
Yes, it is important in the experience of loss and acceptance, which often seems unjust and senseless. Find meaning you can try after some time after the loss, and it can be done even in a situation of death. For example, a woman who lost a child can reduce their pain with the thought that her child will never be hurt, he did not get sick and do not face the cruelty.
Finding yourself in something important and useful
For many people, the experience ends up losing the decision to do charity work or volunteering. This is no accident: bereaved, people want to fill our lives with something important, useful and right, and what better way than helping sick children, for example?
Of course, not often, but sometimes it causes depression is not as tragic as the loss situation: problems at work, quarrel with his girlfriend, the financial turmoil. All of these things often require not so much: the objective analysis and rational decision is enough. That's just to find a solution in a state of depression can be difficult. In order to do this, you must go through all the means at your disposal "assets": to remember all that you can, know how, and indeed ever made.
It is best if you discuss the situation with someone who is not included in it: ask him questions to ask meticulous, the purpose of which is to look out of it. For example, many situations seem hopeless. However, if you consistently ask ourselves, what is, in fact, consists of hopelessness, then unexpectedly, you can come to a positive conclusion.
Let's say that you have found a solution, but something prevents you realize it. Sometimes the search for solutions are ineffective because of the feeling of helplessness, passivity and apathy. Accordingly, in order to break the vicious circle, we need additional sources of power and energy - they are called "resources." How did they find in and around you?
Meet their needs - a first step towards the restoration of balance in the body. It is because it takes the energy that a person realizes everything else. While depression is not always clear what you want right now, and you need to train this ability. Always listen to yourself and your body, ask him about the desires and try to offer exactly what he wants. Instead of "Now you want a sweet, but it is harmful, so it is eat sour." So unlearn the body to signal their needs.
Another useful way to strengthen their own resources is visualization. Surely you have some kind of a dream, or, conversely, very pleasant memory. All you need - is to be alone with him in the room where you will not be disturbed, and present the event in all the smallest details. When his detailed image will appear before you sign it and a little there Stay: wander, touch everything you can. Use your eyes, ears, skin and nose for the sense of completeness. After about five minutes you can go from the image. By doing this simple exercise, you will feel the energy and good humor. For best results, do it regularly - and this will be a significant contribution to the fight against depression.
Meditation and relaxation - it is remarkable steps to achieve inner harmony and balance. In addition, they are perfectly help in dealing with stress that is known to sometimes cause depressive feelings. You clear your mind from all sorts of negativity and fill out something interesting and useful for you - whether it is the key to a long and happy life? Only one piece of advice: to deal with them have to start slowly with some simple exercises and techniques - this is important in order not to overload your body with something radically new.
Consolidate the results
So the way out of depression found, the first steps in this direction, and "scared the enemy flees from the battlefield." However, there is a good chance that if you let this thing take its course, then he can come back. Therefore, your task - to do everything possible to prevent it. The minimum program of "bestow happiness" of his own life:
Work on your self-esteem
That it is often the number one cause for self-reproach and depressive thoughts. Confident people are not so often sad (though this is also happening) - basically he tries to solve their problems and overcome obstacles. And all because he loves himself, and understands that failures happen even to the best representatives of homo sapiens.
Dreams give us the strength to move on, give meaning to life and a source of positive emotions. Those who dream of a lot, know what they want from life, and it becomes easier to get it. Spend time thinking about the beautiful - it will not be wasted. Although live in "castles in the air" is also not necessary - you are "moving forward" without seeing this.
Take the opportunity to experience the negative
As you know, in life there are black and white and even gray stripes, but many still think that real life - it's incessant happiness and pleasure. And if they do not, life is a failure, and you - the loser. But it is not so! Real life is a true experience (not out) the whole spectrum of emotions and feelings - from the positive and negative ending. Only in this case we can talk about its usefulness.
Set goals for dreams were fruitless
If you just think about how it would be good to become president of the oil company - is one thing. But if you make a plan, get the necessary education and experience, and go for an interview - is quite another. Life is real, and those who are doing something in this direction, sooner or later reach its pleasant results.
Find your place in life
Yes, of course, it sounds global, but very useful. People who are engaged in what they are interested in expensive, sixty percent happier than everyone else. Favorite deal gives their lives meaning right, and yet it is often the absence plunges into the depths of depression and apathy. By the way, what he likes is not necessarily to be the work - it can be and the education of children, and keeping a home, and travel, and landscape design. The main thing - that you really like to do it all.
Modern man, unfortunately, very often feels lonely and empty.