How to overcome shyness and develop self-confidence?
Did you ever like this: You went into the room, which is full of strangers and felt terribly uncomfortable? You felt that everyone in this room watching solely on you, and you did not know where to go from confusion and embarrassment. It was? Or maybe, your heart pounding with excitement, when you want to ask the shop assistant in the grocery store to change the spoiled apples for good, but shy and did not let you do that? Or at work want to ask the caretaker, so he changed the light bulb over your desk, but did not dare to ask him? If you find yourself in a similar situation, you should understand that your shyness and insecurity are constantly holding you back and denies the chance to achieve ever succeed in life.
If you think that you are one of the few people in the world suffering from a lack of confidence, then we hasten to reassure you. According to psychologists, every three or four people out of ten do not know how to find a way to overcome uncertainty. This applies to a greater or lesser extent men and women of different ages. Some of them are trying to mask his shyness bravado, and some are trying to completely avoid situations that might cause them embarrassment. Whatever it was, but shy people find it very difficult to communicate, and if you belong to one of them, we can sympathize with you. Only we have an offer - let us try together to understand what is happening to you, and try to change your attitude to people and to myself!
Why do people hesitate?
When we are next to the other, we often become too sensitive to what do or say - it seems to us that we are in the center of attention. This creates anxiety and makes us wonder: and all I'm doing right? All our attention is focused around his person, in particular, "what I'm doing wrong." So, in fact, it appears our insecurities.
Sometimes we speak for themselves: "I'm very shy," and psychologically, we have already been set to live up to these expectations. That is, the label on themselves hanged, and try not to deviate from the currently imposed image. Well, how can I go and say something to the chief? I do not find confidence in yourself! How can I ask for a bus to me missed the exit? It is better to stop the excess will pass, but I will not draw attention to himself. I'm shy!
Uncertainty binds human hands and feet. But to throw off the shackles of these is possible, and most importantly, we need to for this - it is the desire to understand how to overcome shyness and develop self-confidence and determination to work on them.
How to overcome shyness and develop self-confidence?
I understand that the whole world is looking at you. Most people are too busy with themselves to pay much attention to the other. Instead of thinking about others, try to understand themselves. Try to figure out what causes your lack of confidence; look for the cause in itself, in my thoughts and in relation to itself. Self-knowledge is the first step towards change and improve their lives.
Find your strengths. We all have unique qualities and different ways of expression. It is important that your shyness prevent you understand and fully accept the fact that you are doing well, even if it's different from the norm. The world would be boring if everyone were the same. Finding a positive qualities, look for what they can give you an advantage. For example, if you are pretty silent, then you can be a great listener. You will appreciate the quality of it, because people do want to be listened to someone! Develop a positive quality; this will help you to raise the self-esteem and help to develop self-confidence.
Focus on other people, on what they say and do - rather than focus on their own embarrassment in the company of others. Expressed an interest in information about other people, ask them to talk about themselves. You'd be surprised, but upon closer inspection you can see that even successful and seemingly confident people sometimes feel uncomfortable and confused. So, you are no worse than others!
Learn to love yourself. Take a paper and write a letter to herself about what you are wonderful. Describe their best qualities, write like you are proud that you have decided to win - and win! - His shyness. Praise yourself for every new step to victory.
Engage visualization. Think of a picture where you see yourself as a confident and happy; it will help to shape your perception of itself in the same situation, but in reality. That is, when you find yourself in the same situation, you will already know how you stay, because during imaging could "rehearse" their behavior. Perform these exercises are as follows: Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and relax for a while to listen to pleasant music, which is included before class.
Then imagine any stage of your life, which you normally binds shyness. Only now you have nothing and no one is afraid, you can easily talk and stay relaxed. How are you feeling? You hear the sound of his own voice? Senses movement, smells? Try to use all the senses to make your vision more realistic.
Use the technique called "Adoption." Words can carry incredible energy. What we say to ourselves many times, fixed in our subconscious. And then it begins to act accordingly and to consciousness. If we constantly tell ourselves that we can not do something, we are too shy to act decisively - we are creating more and more evidence of this "fact" to our subconscious, and our actions are always in line with what we say to ourselves.
Similarly happens when we say to ourselves: "I am sure! ", "I can! ", "I will do it! ". Positive statements are housed in our subconscious wonderful human being whose name is - you! Although usually we can not fool ourselves, but visualization and positive statements to help us to create a positive model of thinking and perebaryvat uncertainty.
Give up perfectionism. When we compare ourselves with someone, we tend to compare with the most popular person in their environment, or even with the celebrities that we see on TV. We awaken excessive, unreasonable expectations, and then begin to execute itself, because we do not get to be the same. Release yourself from the perfect image and does not require too much.
Be yourself, strive for perfection totally worth it - no one can be perfect, each has its drawbacks.
Train your confidence, because social skills, like any other skill, can be grown with the help of your practice and gain experience. The more you interact with people, so each time the easier it will be to do it. Ceasing to avoid embarrassing the situations in which you feel particularly strong shyness, the less will become sensitive to your fear of failure. Very soon you will realize that things are not so bad and you can even laugh about their past sufferings.
If you work hard on yourself, you can win over the embarrassment and shyness. You will be able to soberly assess their capabilities and realize that may not be less than the others. Praise yourself for victory! It is a good idea to start a special diary success. Keeping this diary will not only increase your self-confidence, but also help to better understand how to overcome shyness to you specifically. Of course, overcoming shyness takes time, but it is quite possible to do. Confidence - it's a skill, a state of mind, and it is quite possible to learn. Be confident, and it will make your life much better. So - go to her new life, do not delay!
We strongly recommend to read: How to overcome laziness
Imagination, which can still be called the inner vision - it is a gift of nature, which has many positive aspects of the application. But, unfortunately, very often we do not know how to properly use this quality and do not always know how to develop it. Few people are able to control the power of their thoughts. They allow your imagination to paint the most fantastic pictures and mental images appear on the "screen" of their inner vision. While selecting the best ideas, they direct their thoughts in the right direction and find the best solution of all.
Most people do not really try to change something in yourself. And in vain! Lack of control over their thinking not only leads to confusion in the mind, but also to a lack of control over their lives in general. You do not want to live in chaos? Then let's talk about how to develop the imagination and change your life according to your desires. But first we try to understand what is imagination and how it can work.
Human evolution and imagination
People in the early days of its appearance on the nature got the potential for the development of a powerful creative imagination - to use it to their advantage and to the benefit of the entire human race
. All that mankind has achieved during its existence, it has become possible thanks to the work of his imagination
. The ability of the inner vision is unique and is given only to the person - no other creatures on the planet are not gifted with such power of thought
. This is what makes us human
. Imagination - is the ability to visualize ideas in our minds; and visualization, in turn, makes it possible to bring our ideas to perfection and then put them into practice
. The result of this process is the improvement of our lives
. Developing this ability throughout the history of its existence, humanity derives great benefit from it for yourself, using its unique capabilities to create a variety of innovations that can be imagined
The human imagination has a special meaning, which gives people the opportunity to understand a lot more than it would allow our senses - sight, hearing, touch, smell and taste. We know that these feelings have been given the nature of all the higher beings to help them survive. But in the time interval from fifty to one hundred thousand years ago, for some reason, which we can only guess at the human brain has evolved, and as a result it has created millions of new cells. This evolution has created a new, improved, powerful human brain, which ultimately allowed people to know themselves and the world around. We began to think creatively, and that imagination has allowed us to go beyond the very narrow animal into a huge new world. Today we know the nature of the universe and with a microscope and a telescope exploring the exotic secrets of the world around us and learn to interact with the wonders of nature.
For about forty thousand years ago creative people began to leave an indelible mark on our history, that allow us to see the achievements of archeology
. They began to produce new tools and artifacts that carry aesthetic ideas of the ancient people of the beauty
. The first "Art Galleries" appeared on the walls of caves, and this was strong evidence that even then people started using the imagination to develop a radically new ways of life
. Throughout ancient history, creative people use their imagination to create new languages, art, customs, religion, accessories and many other things that make life more progressive
. Those tribes which had more innovators tend to thrive, as they were able to overcome adversity and to improve living conditions
. People come up with innovations such as the bow and arrow, wheel, agriculture, cattle breeding, and many others, and their inventions have helped them to achieve greater well-being
. Weak tribes assimilated into the more prosperous, there were civilizations
. Great civilizations gain strength through innovation of its citizens
. They have prospered, while others did not invent better technology and conquered them
. This was the case throughout the history of mankind, and the engine can be called a story originally was the human capacity for creative thought flight
The creative imagination has allowed humanity out of the valley of ignorance rise to the top of the mountain of knowledge where all the wonders of nature in front of him. It allowed a person to think abstract images and share their thoughts and ideas to others. Imagination has given great opportunities to create great art, technology, philosophy, new sciences, and more - all with the help of our human imaginations. Of course, now there is no question of the survival with the help of the ability to think creatively, as Neanderthals. But at least the Neanderthals already had creativity, but they did not have the appropriate conditions for its rapid development. And we'll have that opportunity. Because, unlike the Neanderthals we know of the existence of the imagination, and understand what it is and what it can give us.
Imagination - our inner vision
So what is the imagination, or the inner vision of man? This ability to see the mental images of what actually exists, and the ability to imagine objects, situations or circumstances that do not currently exist in reality. And imagination - is not only the visualization of mental images, it is not limited to playing in my head some pictures. It includes reproduction of all feelings and sensations. One can imagine a sound, taste, smell, physical sensations, feelings and emotions. Some people are easier to see mentally some images, the other is easier to imagine the feelings, while others feel more comfortable imagining the physical sensation. Whoever learns to control his inner vision becomes available to develop themselves and to combine all kinds of imagination.
If you try to analyze, you will see that constantly and variously use your imagination. You apply it, thinking about the past or the future, planning something, considering the letter girlfriend. You can use your imagination by telling someone how to find the street, reading a book or dreaming. You write poems, draw or do some other creative? You prepare a delicious and beautiful dishes, sewing, decorating old or doing new things with their own hands for the house? If yes, then you, too, use your imagination. When you are worried or afraid of something, here imagination works. At such moments, you'll automatically visualize some misfortune or unpleasant for you event. By the way, if you will constantly be engaged in rendering misfortunes, you can eventually bring them into your life.
We can say that the imagination - the ability to form a mental image of something that is not perceived by the senses. This ability of the mind to construct images of the senses, objects or events that are not now and never has been in the past. Even our memory (ie the re-establishment of really happened in the past, the event) is a manifestation of our imagination. Everyone has some ability to imagination, only some of this ability can be highly, while others manifest themselves in a weaker form. Different people - different power of imagination. But there it all. Inner vision allows the entire world to embrace the power of your mind, gives us mentally explore the past and the future, and provides an opportunity to look at any situation from a different perspective.
One of the manifestations of the imagination - it's a dream. Excessive daydreaming, of course, can lead us away from reality, but sometimes stargaze is still useful: this state for some time, gives us a feeling of happiness, peace of mind and relieves stress. In your imagination you can travel anywhere in the speed of light (even correct to say - at the speed of thought) without experiencing barriers. It can make you feel free - at least temporarily - of the problems, difficulties and unpleasant circumstances.
A developed and strong imagination does not make us impractical dreamer with pink glasses on the eyes. It enhances our creativity and is a great tool for rebuilding and reconstruction of our world and our lives better.
The power of imagination
It really is a great force that can change our lives. She is the creator of the new circumstances and events. And if you know how to work with them, we can make all our cherished wishes come true. Imagination - is a creative force that plays an important role in achieving success in any field. What we imagine (and clearly faith in the possibility of), sooner or later it appears in our waking life. How does this happen? Visualizing an object or a situation where the image is reproduced mentally quite often attracts the object or situation into our lives. This opens up for us new, large and exciting opportunities.
This means that we have to think only in a positive way all our desires, otherwise we can create and attract into our lives the events, situations and people that face we do not want. And if we do not recognize the importance of the power of imagination, our lives will not be able to become so successful and happy, as far as we would like. Lack of understanding of the power of imagination is responsible for the suffering, difficulties, failures and unhappiness experience for many people. Unfortunately, most people tend to think in a negative way. They do not expect success, are just waiting for the worst outcome of all events, and when they suffer another setback, I think that the very fate opposed them. But this attitude to their own lives can be changed, and then life, respectively, will change for the better.
There are people who believe that they have no imagination. It just can not be! Imagination is any man, but it is - we have already talked about this - can be stronger or weaker. And if a person is really weak imagination - how to develop it yourself? We wish you good news: to develop the ability to visualize is not difficult, and at times can even be fun. Exercising in the development of this ability, you will at the same time improve your ability to concentrate; and as a bonus you get the power over your thoughts, which can be used to build and improve their own lives.
How to develop an active imagination: we begin with a simple
If you're still reading this, then you are really interested in increasing their capacity and will be able to develop their creative imagination. Find at least fifteen minutes and start the implementation of simple exercises:
Visualize something simple, something that you can really get or do: going to the movies with her boyfriend, walking with a friend along the paths of the park favorite, cap, you are going to relate.
Think of the smallest details, including the cause of visualization of all five senses. If you "go" in the film - the cinema hall, imagine, the beginning of the film, in the end credits, a snack bar, where you buy popcorn. "Listen," people talk before the start of the session, "feel" cold or heat in the room. Imagine the taste and smell of popcorn or drink that you drink.
You may find that some of the feelings you imagine better and some feelings you "do not come". Continue to exercise, most training is what manages the worst.
Perform these exercises every day, and you will see how every day you will be easier something is to imagine. Sometimes you'll find that your mind instead of creating images will begin to create a verbal description of the planned picture. Watch out - you need to use is a colorful image created by your imagination, not the sketch.
We continue to develop a strong creative imagination
In order to go further in the development of imagination, I try to be as curious. Strive to learn more about a world full of amazing wonders. Your new knowledge will be a good source for new ideas and fantasies.
Faced with the need to find a way out of any difficult situation, try to imagine different solutions to the problem. Try to find a new, unusual for you the way.
Begin to communicate with other creative people, whose favorite theme of conversations - discussing ideas, not the chatter of other people.
Always in search of new innovations that could be improved. Every new product, once he invented - is ready for improvement. For example, look at the images of the first sewing machine - and compare them with pictures of modern machines, which are able not only to sew, and embroider and handle edge sections. This miraculous transformation was made possible only thanks to thousands of new innovations, and you can imagine what will be the sewing machine because after ten years or twenty! (By the way, here's another exercise!)
Please be determined, and start writing a feature story kakoy-. Think of the story, the characters, the description of their environment. Write first about one day in the life of the characters, and then gradually expand the story for a longer period of time. Specify and change your story if you want. Take your time, new ideas will come gradually, sometimes quite unexpectedly. It's your creation, and you can do with it whatever you want. The main thing - give free rein to their imagination.
If you have any fond of creativity - to develop their interests and natural talents. Learn as much as possible about the subject of his passion, and then improvise, to expand it. Look for unusual approach!
Build on the ideas of others, while improving them, and create on their basis of their own ideas.
We improve the skills of imagination
By following these tips, you will feel like developing active imagination becomes useful in many aspects of life and work. At this point you need to perform four steps to help you figure out how to develop the imagination even more:
First of all, you need to give yourself time to the logic of the ban, to give a better chance of your subconscious mind come into play.
The subconscious mind will begin to prompt you to new ideas and images. Be prepared for the fact that at any moment to write down his fantasies. Carry a notebook and pen.
Disable self-criticism. Whatever you come up with, it turns out you just great! Then it will be even better.
Summarize and move on!
Our consciousness is always trying to suppress the imagination, making it difficult to see the various options for action. It is therefore very important to learn to control myself and not let the will wish to look at their actions critically. Just quietly watch how developing and strengthening your imagination. Want to know what it is like your desire to treat yourself critically? Then imagine (that's you and exercise!) That you dropped the whole alley young trees. But it seems that they do not grow, and then you start to dig them one by one to check whether they grow roots. Do you think this will determine whether your trees to grow faster?
Once you learn how to stand up to his critical ego, from that moment we can say that there you have an active imagination. Playing and fantasies as a child, we come to understand our inner life and imagination are now helping us to make informed decisions to lead a more productive, inspiring life. Carl Gustav Jung, the famous Swiss psychiatrist of the last century, wrote: "The creative activity of imagination frees man from slavery." This is the state that we are eager to learn.
If you follow our advice and develop internal strength of you more and more be sure how useful it is and how often good imagination helps you in many situations. You will be surprised to find that almost everything that you have learned to visualize now coming true in your real life. Understanding how to use your imagination and apply this knowledge in practice, puts you on the path of success, satisfaction and happiness.