We are all afraid of something and are confident that our fears are well founded. But when a child turns pale at the sight of a clown crying on a regular medical examination, clings to your hand when meeting a dog, peacefully walking on a leash, it is difficult to understand why he was so scared.
Perhaps you are one of those lucky ones who boldly sits in the dentist chair, fearlessly gives blood and has nothing against regular medical examinations
. But when your baby it is time to visit the dentist for the first time, he began to cry and squirm, trying to get out of the "terrible" chair
. Where did this fear? And how to behave in a similar situation: chide coward for his lack of courage to embark on a lengthy explanation about the painless these procedures or to postpone a visit to the dentist for an indefinite period? Fears of a child who may be perceived as a nuisance, in fact, is part of its development and adaptation
. As they get older they are modified to reflect the changes taking place in his life
. Baby starts to crawl, learning to walk, talk, every day of his life brings that - something new
. Everything happens so fast! And a little child needs to cope with all the changes in mental and physical development, simultaneously digesting a lot of information
. But some situations are too difficult for him, and then he may experience anxiety and fear
. But you can always close by and cheer and comfort him
Monsters (3 to 6 years)
Why children are afraid of monsters? For a young child reality and fantasy exist in the same space. In his view there is no clear boundary separating these two worlds. Monsters can trap his closet or under the bed, but they disappear as soon as you walk into the room and turn on a night light. At that time, when a child moves into his room or a cot in the "big", it can cover a keen sense of loneliness and abandonment. He feels the fear of growing up and the need to be independent, but may not realize it and put into words. To show fear, for it is necessary to find the form of the object, and a form more likely to be monsters, ghosts, villains of fairy tales and cartoons. These horror stories helps your child to show you what it that - is worried that he is afraid.
How to help? Do not discount the fears kid phrases like, "This is all nonsense! "Or" Do not be silly! "Do not be ashamed of it, do not call a coward: afraid he will not be less, but will learn to hide their feelings, not to be subjected to ridicule. Yes, no one under the bed, but the feelings he feels very real. Needless to assure him that the monster is gone: so you do not calm his crumbs, and only reinforce fears. In the end, if the awful creature disappeared, then it all - still there! Try to understand what is really bothering the child, and ask him that he could help less fearful. He may ask you to sit with them, or nightlight left on, or give it to a favorite toy. Tell him that he seems now really scared, but the fear will take place gradually, and you help him in this. So the child feels that, despite the changes in his life, he - still connected to you strong bonds.
Doctors (from 1 to 7 years)
Why children are afraid of doctors? Sitting in a chair at the dentist, or feeling the chill of the stethoscope, the child feels vulnerable. He does not know what to do with him going. To his body touched the wrong hands, and it is experienced as an invasion of personal space. Yes, and medical instruments look scary. Most of the doctors are afraid of children who were exposed to painful medical procedures, or relive the experience of hospitalization. But the kids without such negative experiences may be frightened white coat, stethoscope and mirror ENT - doctor and make noise.
How to help?
Please explain to your child why you need a doctor
. He wished him good health and helps maintain
. Before visiting the doctor play in the hospital, give the kid a children's medical kit and suggest using it to explore a teddy bear or become a patient yourself
. Going to the doctor, grab a toy with a
. In anticipation of receiving the crumbs encourage: "Yesterday we were treated the bear, and now you go to the doctor"
. It is important that during the examination the doctor informed about your child follow-up
. Recalling his first visit to the gynecologist - because you wanted to know about all the manipulations to prepare yourself both mentally and physically? The same is happening with your child
. Dentist calm crumbs if to say, "Now I'm going to look at your teeth to make sure they are clean and Health"
. If the child is able to steadfastly endure a visit to the doctor, be sure to pay attention to this: "Look, you're almost afraid, I'm very proud of you"
Darkness (3 to 7 years)
Why children are afraid of the dark? When a child does not see his surroundings, he seemed to lose control over what's happening. From the usual items are only vague shadows, and every rustling seems loud and frightening silence of the night. Darkness is associated in people's minds with evil monsters and villains live in the darkness of the caves, crypts, abandoned castles. This deep fear, reflecting the man's fear of the unknown, of loneliness, of death. So many, in other respects, fearless children are afraid of the dark.
How to help?
The easiest and most sensible way to help your child overcome fear of the dark - is to leave a small light in his room. Kid will feel safe and sleep will be deep and calm. Ask the child about what scares him in the dark. Talking about his fantasies, he must feel relieved to meet your understanding and sympathy. Eventually, the time comes, and the child will understand that there is no danger, and sleep in the dark much more comfortable.
Thunderstorm (from 2 to 7 years)
Why children are afraid of thunderstorms? A loud roar and unpredictable can scare anyone! Growing up, children begin to collect information from news, movies, TV shows, and stories which are really dangerous natural phenomena. But there is also a fear of thunderstorms archaic element remaining we inherited from our ancestors, who considered natural phenomena powerful and angry divine powers. Therefore, even in apparent safety house or apartment, the child may be frightened, as if the storm is a real danger for him.
How to help? It happens that the adults themselves are afraid of thunder and lightning. You can tell your child, "How loud! I even startled. When the storm leaves, thunder no longer. " Then wait for the offer crumbs storm together: Arrange cozy on the couch, hug the child and watch this powerful effect. You can express admiration for the power of nature: "Wow! What a bright lightning! How it all lit up! "In order to shift attention away from the child's curiosity to fear.
The new nanny (5 - 10 months to 5 years)
Why children are afraid of? For the kid who worry near - the stranger - a way to show that he understands that this man - not mom and dad. The point is not that what the nurse - that frightens the child, and that the crumb trusts only close people who know for a long time. But there are times when you have to deal with "outsiders" who look, talk and smell not like parents. This is cause for alarm, but it is quite natural. You do not want your child to trust all strangers?
How to help? Regardless of the age of the child do not leave him with a babysitter too quickly. Try to make the transition gradually, invite your nanny back home and spend time together. When a little child will get used to a new person, you can leave them alone and do household chores yourself. If a baby sitter and friends, and you are sure that they, together comfortably, you can leave the house. However, remember that you do not have to do it secretly, without telling the kid 'goodbye'. Be calm, but firm. The child is older you can explain: "Mom is now gone, but she will be back soon. And while I'm gone, baby sitter to play and walk with you. "
Dogs (from birth to 7 years)
Why children are afraid of dogs? Although domesticated dogs long ago, they are - the same animals, and possibly children feel bestial nature of these creatures more familiar to us than we adults. But it is "useful" fear: many dogs bite, and you certainly do not want the kid ran to iron any unfamiliar dog. Also, this fear can be related to the fact that you are afraid of dogs and the baby feels it, or with what - something unpleasant incident. Dogs are unpredictable, and even their vigorous expression of joy can frighten the child.
How to help? This fear is quite natural, but, when a dog every time the baby is experiencing the terror, it could prevent him to feel free to walk or at a party. If a pipsqueak much scared, do not offer him to make friends with the dog, even with the good and relaxed. Start from a distance. Buy books about dogs with good illustrations, show your child what they are, tell us that dogs are able to, they are devoted to their owners, playful, affectionate and can be real defenders. Give your child the toy dogs, play with him. Introduce crumbs with a little cute puppy who lives with friends or maybe the neighbors. But explained that the animals can be touched only with the authorization, and in any case it is impossible to drag them by the tail or ears, shouting and waving his arms, is nearby.
Clowns and entertainers (from 2 to 7 years)
Why children are afraid of clowns? Your kid runs away in terror from the animators at the party and hides behind you when you dress up as a clown and artists? Of course, because their faces barely visible under the mask or thick makeup and scared child "inhuman" appearance. On the ornamented face is hard to read emotions, and the baby can not understand what is going to make this man, he is friendly. In addition, clowns and buffoons behave very strangely: they have unnatural gestures, loud, sharp voice and the unusual manner of speech.
How to help?
If your child shies away from the clowns and animators, and you're going to a party or the circus, you must honestly tell him that it is waiting there. If he is still afraid better take him aside and reassure. Often the problem is that parents are dependent on the opinions of strangers and do not take into account the feelings of the baby. Do not be embarrassed of - the fact that your baby is crying on holiday or in the circus, he is not obliged to have fun because adults believe that it is fun. Ask crumbs, what exactly he is scared, and promised that if he does not get used, you leave together. It is necessary for the child to feel that he is given time to get used, and given the choice, whether it be in this place. So you will help him to take the situation under control, and then the fear may recede.