What mother does not dream, what would she grew docile, independent, generous, hard-working and intelligent child? However, with such golden kids have their own problems and difficulties. How to avoid possible problems with "light" children?
A step towards
There are children who do not need to repeat twice to hear perfectly, and his parents do not bring too much trouble
. They will not jump on the couch and did not try to measure the depth of a puddle
. These children do not take the risk to do something that is forbidden by parents
. They tell the truth, even easier to do nothing
. With these kids is very easy
. Their behavior is always under control
. Very obedient child in the family to be proud of
. After all, most of them admire the surrounding
. But there are those who reflect on the theme of how to grow this kid
. It will not be whether it has problems in adult life? I will stand up for themselves and say, when you need to, "no"? Do not bring such behavior to the other extreme? Would not he try the taste of life in all its manifestations, negative? Very obedient kid trusts his parents immeasurably
. He does not think the consequences of his act, he does only what he was allowed to, and shall have no liability
. Such a baby is not his own opinion, because everything is decided for him
. He is inclined to listen to any request or demand
. As a result of age he begins to produce so-called "false self"
. The child said that he wants exactly what others want
And how can that be?
Do not teach your baby to unquestioning obedience, he must learn to make decisions, because ready-made recipes in adult life, no one will. Try to give your child the opportunity to make choices, to express their views. Let your child explore the world, do not enter a lot of restrictions. Full obedience can be dangerous, and the accumulation of negative emotions. The kid does not know how or afraid to express them, and keeps everything in itself. Show how to overcome anger, anger: to paint a terrible picture, crumpled paper.
Some children are shy of this type - it is related to low self-esteem, self-doubt. Show the crumbs of his uniqueness, which would bring him success in life. Let him know that he is loved regardless of their obedience or disobedience.
If you have that - that alerted the behavior of the baby, try to remedy the situation in time. And if you do not bother, do not look for problems where there are none. Be a little bit careful and attentive. In the education of any child not do without it. A noisy, quarrelsome, capricious, lazy, bad kids - this is a special topic of conversation. With them, their problems - but others.
Such crumb - a real godsend for parents
. He is ready to carry out all available chores
. The kid saw dust on the TV, grabs the rag, then sweep the floor, wash the dishes after dinner
. He removes the toys for themselves and for the older sister
. And the country? In the country it is ready to water the beds, pick berries runs
. On it you can rely on throughout
. So what's the problem? Hence the desire to work very quickly begin to use family members
. Gradually, the baby begins to serve all
. Bring it, move it! Yes and peers know that he would not refuse
. Toys collected after playing together - he
. Beds are made - again, he
. Dishes include teachers in the kindergarten also ask for a little workaholic, and even chairs to arrange for classes - his constant duty
. A child of his age and much older and can be irresponsible not to fulfill all the cases assigned to him
. Even adults do not always force yourself to do everything you need to
And how can that be?
Do not demand too much from the child. So far for the baby chores - a great game. Of course, it is interesting to splash plates in the sink, help mom clean dust, to try how the vacuum cleaner or disassemble purchase. And the children of an economic nature, it is particularly pleasant. However, the game - it's a game, and routine - this routine. Does not impose on the child too much work, do not make him Cinderella, accustomed to unpleasant or hard work - to clean the shoes of all family members, take out the garbage, clean floors. The kid is out of habit to fulfill all requirements. After all, he believes that it wins your love and location. However, working for the good of the family, pipsqueak gradually close the door to the world of childhood, the world of gaming and entertainment. Do not miss the moment when the work ceases to bring joy and becomes a burden.
All by myself!
And this baby is almost like an adult
. He will not wait until it was packed to bed and read a book, it postelet bed as you can without any problem and he falls asleep
. He did not have to wake you in the morning when he got up early: he cleans teeth and Feeds, he dressed and go play
. He can wipe his nose into his younger brother - the three and a half! It is an independent special kid does not share experiences, not tell, how was your day in the garden
. This independence of the child has received or internally (parents simply do not have time to take care of the baby) or a specially trained to deal with the difficulties on their own
. The parents of the child have no problem now - it requires neither time nor effort, does not distract from their own interests and affairs
. There will be no problems and will increase when a pipsqueak
. He will do all in my life
. However, the child may have difficulty
. He is used to decide everything on their own and do not use anyone's help
. This man does not turn to their parents, even if the situation is complex and it can not cope with it
. It can cause serious problems (in life anything can happen), but this one did not know
Without going and not participating in the child's life from the very early age, do not expect that you will be able to establish with them confidential, intimate fellowship. And if you all - still need to watch out for while.
And how can that be?
Be interested in the joys, successes and challenges of their baby. Help him take part in his life, point. After all, learn from others' mistakes much easier than on its own. In addition, the child needed beyond bounds. He should know what you can not do exactly what is allowed and what actions it is green. Without your participation, itself, the child will feel insecure and lonely. "If a mother cares prohibits that - that even cursing - means love. And if the mother gives full independence, how do I know that I am dear to her? "- Unconsciously decided the kid. Limit independence by age, dose it and release his chick out of the nest very carefully.
It is for you. And this…
In the third year of life the child acquainted with the concept of "mine" is beginning to realize that there are things that belong to him, and believes that it is part of his own "I". Attempts to take the other kids toy baby perceived it as an attack on him. His integrity must be preserved. Hence the outcry. Children this age do not wish to share. And it is normal and natural.
In regard to other people's things such understanding yet. Learned that the things other children of their own, the baby can not yet. So he is trying to take over someone else's toy cars or dolls, carefully preserving their own.
The child must learn to manage their own things, without pressure or threats. At this age, you need to learn and the ability to refuse. Greed - a consequence of a child's development, which is not about generosity. Generous children emotion surrounding the cause and the pride of parents. It's nice to say that my child is able to share that he is not greedy, unlike you! However, this pride is quickly replaced by disappointment. The kid gives everything - candy, toys, expensive gifts. Unprecedented generosity can be caused by a sense of loneliness child jealous of a newborn in the family or problems in the relationship of parents, divorce, for example. The kid need to feel uplifted, and he tries to earn the praise. Lusk, communicate with the child, time spent together, the best cure for excessive generosity. The child can bestow buddies and just because he wants to be friends with them, and do not see other ways.
And how can that be?
It is necessary to explain to the kid that friendship rests on other terms. With friends appreciated the kindness, the ability to have fun playing, support, and so on. N. It should not just tell a child about friendship without gifts, but also lose situation on toys ("Mishka friends only for his gifts, and when the gifts run out ..."). Let your child see in what situation it can get, and be sure to find together with you out (Bear learns to make friends by playing with another beast, coming up with interesting activities). Do not load with presents his crumbs toys, do not indulge a lot of sweets. Maybe they have it just do not need, and therefore he did not know the price of your gifts, so easily part with them.