Friendship after sex. How not to destroy the relationship?
As it happens ...
Some people believe that pure friendship between men and women does not exist, and such relations will sooner or later end up having sex. Like it or not, it is difficult to say exactly, but the intimate relationship between the sexes, who call themselves friends, happens often. This is understandable: the physiological need for strong and may cause people to turn to the good friendly relations of sex.
Besides, we can not ignore the very real physiological needs two healthy young people. So, for those who want proximity to caress the girl's best friend, if she does not have a permanent lover it is almost the best option to meet the call of the flesh, which is often beyond the control of reason. Yes, as it landed, and it may sound rude, but the truth can not escape. That is only one worried about in this case: what could turn into a friendship after sex and not spoil any relationship between people, who failed to hold on to such a shaky brink?
Sex with your best friend. Benefits
The most basic advantage of an intimate relationship with your best friend - looseness and ease, provided that both partners are well aware that their physical proximity to nothing obliges. They lie in bed by mutual consent, and only to give each other pleasure. These are sex without any pressures and restrictions and does not include the presence of loving feelings. In short, the sex between friends is the mutual use. But only.
One of the important factors of comfort, this relationship is no need to pre-flirting. Indeed, to go to bed with each other, do not need to run on a date, while trying to look stunning, no need to think about what to say and how the boy with him to conduct in order to please and get to admire. Besides her of old friends usually know a lot. It is usually aware of his sexual preference, so no surprises in bed is not afraid.
As for the relationship with the man who is incredibly attractive, but unfamiliar, here anything can happen. It happens that seems to be educated, sensitive and caring young man, when it finally comes to sex with the girl, suddenly turns into a cruel monster, from which you want to run immediately. And about any sympathy for him then there can be no question. And the time spent flirting. Or worrying, the guy is simply not able to be at the first intimacy "at a height", which, again, giving rise to misunderstanding, can destroy the future of the couple.
If we consider the relationship in which there is a place of friendship and sex at the same time, here things are different. Firstly, there is no stage flirtation, no worries about that intimacy brought pleasure to both. After all, man and woman in this case is well known and advantages and disadvantages of each other. They feel free and can afford a natural, not a limited desire to please the behavior. Whatever the sexual act took place, my friends still have excellent chances to keep the old relationship and should be able to discuss with warm irony unsuccessful attempt physical approach.
Such a situation may occur only on the condition that the partners act in relation to each other honestly. None of them should not have illusions that after sex relationship will move to another, closer, step. If a guy or a girl (especially girls), there is some, even the smallest, the hope for something more serious than a friendship, a previous relationship, filled with warmth and confidence, you can forget.
In most cases, a man, lying in bed with his old friend, then it does not get any lover or spouse. And if a girl is staking a claim to something more than friendship, he simply disappears from her life. Well, if it manages to speak frankly, and yet most of this happens without explanation. Therefore, we take into account, cute girls and women, that the bed is not a hindrance friendship only when we want only sexual pleasure and honestly admit it in the first place itself. Otherwise, it is likely that we will lose a friend, and love him fail.
Sex with my best friend: cons
Perhaps the main drawback of an intimate relationship with your best friend is that to keep the old status is rarely possible. Or a young man or woman start to experience some degree of affection, in other words, fall in love. They begin to dream of a more serious than a friendship, a relationship, and if their desire is not reciprocated, accepted jealous and hurt his friend or friend of. Sometimes this transformation occurs at a subconscious level, and the people experiencing it, sometimes it is very difficult to deal with what is happening.
Such brinkmanship of love and friendship, of course, will sooner or later destroy the ambiguous relationship and will lead to a complete rupture between man and woman. Unfortunately, sex with your best friend is often this ends. Physical intimacy in such a situation arose before completely destroying the spiritual kinship, return is impossible. After sex, based in love or sympathy, yet different from sex by mutual agreement.
In the first case it is a natural extension of the relationship and implies their further development. In the second it becomes a physiological need, for which - emptiness. To fill the void there is nothing, and in fact it requires filling and eventually dissolve a friendship, nothing they are not reimbursed. The result - the friendship disappears without a trace.
Another drawback is quite hidden in the sex between friends - its negative impact on the future lasting relationship with the opposite sex. For example, a man wishing to contact a woman her life, knowing that she had sex with one another, not only to lose her respect, but also say goodbye to the windy, in his opinion, a special. But even if this not happen and the couple does not fall apart, it will always be jealous of the girl and to her friends and colleagues, and to the familiar man.
The same is true for young women to learn that the lover had sex with her good girlfriend. So whether or not to let sex in a long and very good friendly relations? In principle, the answer to this question each person will have their own way, but if you do decide to share a bed with a friend, you must adhere to certain rules.
Friendship after sex. How not to destroy the relationship?
If a man and a woman, as old friends, decided nevertheless to have sex, both need to try to stifle the possessive. The relationship they have available, therefore, that the boyfriend or girlfriend after sex starts dating someone else, should not cause jealousy. Remember that you do not have the right to demand from the partner loyalty, however, he also did not count on it.
Try to understand yourself and see how you are jealous. If the possessive instinct is very strong and the emotions overflow, intimate relationship with one another better to avoid. Any good it will not. Do not forget that life is full of unexpected moments, and unable to control himself not in all cases. Therefore, in order not to wake up suddenly in bed with one another, do not need to risk staying alone together for a long time or consuming alcoholic beverages.
In addition, if sex still had a place to be, it is not necessary to devote to this delicate detail of people from your total inner circle. Public demonstration of stronger than friendship, relationships, fundamentally impractical. Relatives and friends will be a wait on a guy and a girl full convergence on which they are often simply not able or will not condemn them absolutely unique relationship. The opinion of others we are in the majority are not able to ignore. And we can do, or to please their expectations and contrary to their own, or to break the bonds of friendship influenced by the barrage of disapproving comments and criticism.
There is another point to be considered in order to sex is not destroyed old friendly relations. Sometimes it happens that one of the partners-friends after the experienced intimacy can be a time to avoid meetings. Usually, it happens to men who need time to restore emotional balance and return to its former attitude to the friend, to share his bed. But it happens that a woman, uncomfortably, refuses to meet with his friend and did not respond to his calls.
Overall, okay, there is nothing, if you just try to understand that friendship has acquired a new quality and it takes time to re-take clear shape. If in the end it has not revived - that is, it means that friendly relations were superficial and feel sorry for them and the more conceal resentment is not necessary. Intimacy is based on mutual agreement, and after him, no one owes nothing to.
If we take into account all these factors, then the special problems of sex between a man and a woman, who are friends, no. As a rule, spoil the sincere and honest relationship is difficult. And when it's just a veiled sympathy, having overtones physical attraction, a solution already at dawn, feeling sorry about it not worth it. And certainly not worth mourn the destroyed friendship, which was based on some mercantile interests. It ended? And beautiful. So, sex has become for her a kind of test, measure of reliability and demonstrated no need in such friendly terms that are more linked arms, than help to solve some problems.
Talking about sex between friend and friend of infinitely. Of course, the fact of the presence of emotional comfort of intimacy with your best friend does not mean that she can be a lazy lover and man - inactive partner. Sex - this is what it is, and you should try to get the best out of him. Otherwise, why would risk the friendship?
There are also the so-called happy-endings when intimacy that occurs between friends of the opposite sex, becomes a source of origin of romantic feelings for both partners, which in turn result in a serious relationship. Marriages based on such a foundation, usually distinguished by reliability, because initially they were built on mutual understanding between man and woman.
As it happens ...
Let's happened: the morning, you wake up in bed the best friend and the memory helpfully reproduces paintings that night you did not sleep in a chaste embrace, and indulged passions. You never know what might contribute to the mutual desire to have sex - too frank conversation, a glass of wine once, the proverbial spark and so on. Just at that moment both of you seemed perfectly natural to spend the night together. With the dawn mist, so to speak, cleared obsession disappeared, and instead of them in the head insistently sounds: "What's next? "
You clearly understand that peacefully snuffling next best friend does not become a man of your dreams, do not become a prince on a white horse. He remained thus for you friend and confidant of children's pranks faithful listener of love stories, a comforter, and strange as it may sound, the perfect partner for shopping. That is, a man without which life would not such a joyful and happy.
Do not rush to pull the dress hastily and cowardly caution quietly close the door. From myself to you, in any case can not escape. Instead of escaping'd better go to the kitchen and prepare a strong coffee and, while your other sleeping peacefully in blissful ignorance of the full extent of the problem has arisen suddenly, try to understand the situation. First of all, try to answer honestly the question of how you actually feel about your friend, man.
If you have never looked at it as a potential suitor, and it has nothing to fear. Is that in your perception of the night to make a turn at one hundred and eighty degrees. No? You still see a guy in only friend? Excellent. And now try to analyze how it is relevant to you. Have you noticed by the friend's romantic proclivities, trying to arrange a meeting, call your jealousy and so on.
If your friendship over the years nothing like this has happened, and then worry about what happened sex. Of course, men are rare instances of secret admirers, who have long been waiting for, pretend, and then suddenly manifest true feelings. But your friend has not been studied in spy school, he was not trained to skillfully hide its true face, is not it? Therefore, he would have given himself a careless word, a gesture or a look.
What if now he opens his eyes, and with the same issue, fear and stared at you, not knowing what to expect is now? Perhaps, your friend is also not going to offer you a hand and heart. It can also use the question on the topic: "Is not she love me, an hour? Only that I did not have enough! "So do not rush to throw another one, change the sim card and turn off your home phone, for fear of the possible consequences of your intimacy. Bring agitated friend a cup of coffee, let me have a cigarette to calm my nerves a little, and ask calmly discuss the situation.
Believe me, if he sees that you think clearly, does not infringe on their freedom and were expressed very sincere desire to preserve the old friendship, then you will like even more respect and warmth. It is difficult to predict how events will unfold further. But a lot depends on you two. If the basis of your friendship never slipped sexual overtones or desire for love, the relationship probably be maintained. Perhaps intimacy, experienced by together, will make them even stronger. Otherwise, the results may be unpredictable - a complete break up of a romantic love story with a happy ending.
We can say that in general, the effects of other sex can not predict. So before you decide on him, and the boy and girl should still carefully weigh and consider, in order to avoid undesirable consequences of his action. The most important thing in this matter - honesty to oneself, understanding and acceptance of what happened both positive and negative aspects associated with it.
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