There is hardly a person in the world who at least once in their life, even briefly, would not experience jealousy. This negatively colored, destructive, extremely painful and unhealthy feeling that occurs when it seems that the closest person to you is not enough attentive, familiar to a greater or lesser extent, almost everything. Often jealousy takes perverted, crazy shapes when people think up and dreams, where, when, with whom and how it changes his half.
Partner jealous against his will becomes involved in the "game" of the patient's mind, and he has defensively justified in what he actually did. These endlessly repeated situation does not contribute to the strengthening of relations, so the question of how to get rid of jealousy, relevant at all times.
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Jealousy - a sense of destroying the human psyche
You can be jealous of anyone, for anything and at any age. Kid jealous parents to the younger brother or sister, a teenage girl - the best friend to his classmates, but sibling rivalry - absolutely normal phenomenon which disappears when receiving attention from parents or friends, and finally disappears with age. No adequate adult would not prohibit the mother to chat with a neighbor or a friend to colleagues, but the jealous lover of attention is never enough.
It every time it requires more and more in unlimited quantities. Adult jealousy caused a state of complete integration of another person, when the smallest of its switch to a different object causes an outcry and wounded pride. Therefore, we can say with certainty that the roots lie of jealousy and pride.
This chronic tendency to jealousy called jealous and correlate with the disease. Chronic jealous and himself is not happy, but to overcome the emotions that arise from the claims of the complete and exclusive "ownership" of the object of his adoration, unable to. These claims are constantly emerging, and although part of the real reason for them not, jealous lives in constant fear of losing. He constantly seems that someone else takes away from his love of the most important person, and he could not endure such experiences, it is in a constant state of stress, anger, anger, and resentment, which are pushing it to inadequate and foolish deeds.
According to statistics, in the sense of jealousy to some extent exposed to almost half the world's population and 27% of men and 23% of women suffer from it in hypertrophied form.
Such emotional people live an average of 10-12 years less than those who do not expose themselves to such strong emotions. After the family scandals over money jealousy is in second place, and very often, and they both end with the destruction of the family, and suffer from it most of all children. So jealous - a monster with green eyes, as it is often called - is required and can be combated.
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Jealous - it means love is not
There is a common stereotype - jealous, it means love. And many women are beginning to doubt the feelings of your partner, if there is no jealousy in relationships. In fact, this view is as true as such, as "a loving effort." The feeling of jealousy is not good, and love she is not related. In fact, love - a feeling of royalty-free, when you want to make sure that the other person was fine.
Love gives all and does not require anything in return. This bright, positive feeling can not have anything to do with jealousy and violence. Myth "jealous and beats - a loving" invented people seeking to occupy a special position, humiliating ones. There are two ways jealous woo the object of their adoration, and to make sure that he did not want to look the other way: the endless demand that he as a faithful little dog was always at his feet or make an effort, changing and having your soul mate to her. "Hardened" jealous often choose the former, thereby destroying their marriage.
Jealous - a man not sure. He is driven by the fear of loss and consequent loneliness. It is inevitable loneliness, fear, not love, makes him keep beside her partner by any means, and often wasting their lives on the relationship with the person to whom he may have by and large not needed.
Unlike women, men can be jealous of his wife, even to their common children, believing that it gives them a lot more attention than him. Men's jealousy manifests itself in the most acute desire to rule over his woman and fully restrict her freedom. Jealous is doing everything to prevent that his companion did make up, dress up, meeting with friends.
The ideal situation for him would be that a woman does not have any friends. The roots of female jealousy in most cases stem from low self-esteem. Revnivitsa needs constant confirmation by the partner in its significance and appeal to him. It requires constant confirmation on his part that it is much more beautiful and interesting than the rest of the women around him.
Let's try to formulate more precisely the main reasons that cause people to be jealous of each other:
Fear of losing their property. Selfishness creates possessive and too violent fantasies that have played more often jealous without any reason and reason.
Fear of loneliness and unsettled socially. It seems jealous that they can not normally exist (moral or material) without their partner.
Low self-esteem. Causes of jealousy is often rooted in uncertainty about their looks and charm.
Children's complexes. Many jealous build their relations on the example of the parents, where the father or mother is constantly jealous of each other.
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How to get rid of jealousy
Jealousy is like disease and get rid of this sense of self is quite difficult, because in order to learn how to manage it, you must first properly understand its causes and understand the futility of this relationship into the abyss Exciting feelings. Therefore, as with any treatment, the best solution would be to seek help from a specialist. If this is not possible, you can try to use the following, which consists of several stages, the methodology:
First of all have to realize that you are obsessed with jealousy, and to be honest to yourself about that. Especially difficult is the awareness given to men.
Then you need to understand the causes of jealousy is in your particular case. Define them, try without charges, quietly, as gently as possible to talk with your partner about the feelings that you are experiencing.
Be aware that your doubts, causing jealousy, may be wrong, and be prepared to listen and take the point of view of your partner. If confidence is still there, check out their doubts. Most likely you will make sure that they were wrong.
When you finally decide to win a jealous, do not take a few days to compile a written list of situations that you might provoke an outbreak of jealousy. Think detail and slowly all the options. Place them in order of increasing emotional intensity - from least to most unpleasant for you. Drawing up such a list can take several days. Do not be lazy. Think about it carefully.
Once the list is compiled, to do the most important and difficult: to enable a pleasant relaxing music, get comfortable, and one after another mentally living these situations, presenting them as detailed as possible. Do not go to the next situation, until you experience the whole range of unpleasant sensations. No need to worry about the entire list in one day, as the benefits of this will be. Gradually, this method will help to get rid of jealousy to the partner.
No matter how strong and all-consuming was no jealousy, it is always possible to overcome the main thing - sincerely want it.
Each of us is able to wonder how to get rid of jealousy, and to understand themselves, to take their feelings under control. you have to love yourself and believe in what is good in itself and worthy of love. When you really understand that the road around for who you are, without any conditions, you will be able to accept yourself and be confident in their own abilities. You no longer need to try to win the love pretending to be someone else, and lost exhausting the need to constantly keep a partner near you.
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A few tips jealous ex
Understand themselves and work on their feelings, you will be able to take their relationship to a new, free from uncontrolled levels of jealousy. For this self-destructive feeling again took the better of you, take into service a few simple rules:
continuously develop and strengthen confidence in their self-sufficiency;
build a relationship with a partner on mutual trust;
spend much time together, but not to impose unnecessarily and give each other the freedom within reasonable limits;
find something interesting occupation or hobby that will take the place of jealousy in your free time and thoughts;
love yourself for who you are;
treat jealousy as only one of many human emotions, do not put it at the head of your relationship;
will not let tantrums against a loved one - aggression will not hold it, it only frightens and repels;
Be honest, tell the partner about your fears and ask him not to provoke you,
the feelings of its second half treated with respect.
Getting rid of jealousy require great mental strength and will take a long time. Have patience. Jealousy, like any other passion, to keep in check. On the question of how to get rid of it forever, it must be approached logically. Distrust has not made any of the family happy. Do not compare yourself with others. On Earth, more than 6 billion people, and there is always someone smarter and more beautiful than us, but that does not mean that your significant other wants to replace you with someone else. After all, she has already made its choice in your favor and is close to you. This means that it needs is you and you have something that others do not. The main thing to save the relationship - to learn from their past mistakes, become wiser and able to compromise.