Do you suffer from the pain and grief of any loss in your life? If so, we are willing to empathize with you. We wish you love and goodness in your way. We want to help you overcome your pain!
Loss and grief sooner or later found on the path of life of every person. Every one of us is experiencing the pain of losing a particular betrayal, care of family life, loss of love, deceived expectations distancing maturing children, fleeing youth. It happens that every single disappointment in itself is not so great, but they accumulate, they cause depression and loss of interest in life. It would seem that only that everything was okay, and the next moment the heart contracts wrench and the earth was slipping from under his feet. And if you really suffered a great loss - such as the death of a loved one or a divorce - there is despair and grief will be enough to make you throw up their hands for a few months or even years.
But even less dramatic life events and changes can cause you a lot of pain and suffering. Here are some of them:
- Moving from one residence to another;
- Check out the kids out of the house;
- Break or any other friendly relationships;
- Change or loss of a job;
- Detection at the signs of aging;
- The illness or loss of legal capacity, which makes unattainable for you that until recently was normal;
- Failures in the business;
- Failure to plans caused by coincidence, not your desire;
- A serious quarrel or divorce of their parents;
- The contradiction in the views (for example, different religious beliefs) between you and your loved ones;
- A sense of aimlessness and meaninglessness of your life;
- Awareness of their own weaknesses and bad habits that ruin lives, but change that you can not;
- The death of your beloved pet.
If one or more of the above cases occurred with you, you also run the risk of becoming a victim of depression. Any life changes, even if it is a positive change, leading to stress and a strong sense of loss. Grieving the loss, you feel alone with their emotions. You think that no one else can understand your sorrow for what you have lost. Or maybe you yourself do not want to burden others with their grief and pain. This misconception often leads to isolation and depression, causing keep their suffering deep inside themselves.
Hiding his pain, you're not deceiving others, and myself. This nobody has helped to reduce the sensation of pain from the loss. It will be easier to move a mountain, if you know what grief - is a psychological process that takes place in their specific laws. And you should obey these laws, rather than resist them.
Five main stages of grief
Depending on the cause you a sense of grief and loss, grief may pass through different stages:
- Denial. "That can not be! "" It is simply impossible for this to occur is with me! "When we reported a loss overtaken us, we refuse to believe. "It's some kind of mistake! "At first, not even tears. Later, we refuse to take a loss and the void: continue to put on the table plate for the deceased or departed from her husband's family, or see in the crowd flashed his jacket child who actually is far from us.
- Anger. "Why me?! "" This is so unfair! "The great desire to resist fate. Sometimes people even feel anger towards the deceased, accusing him of leaving: "It left me! "If a person has died from the disease - anger often extends to the doctors," Why not do everything you need to save? "
- Negotiations. "Bargaining" often occurs before the loss. Someone is trying to negotiate with her husband, who said about leaving; someone tries to make a deal with God, to prevent the loss of a loved one, lying in bed dying. "I will do anything to bring back ... save ... find ...! "- We think that our hot requests and vows can avert a looming disaster.
- Depression. "The meaning of life is no more." A person experiencing an overwhelming sense of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self-pity. We are beginning to mourn the loss and unfulfilled hopes, dreams and plans for the future. Grieving people like falls into a stupor and lose interest in everything. Often they come to mind thoughts of suicide. Deep depression causes serious health problems and often requires professional treatment.
- Humility adoption. After some time, the person resigns himself to the loss. Everyone is going on in different ways: someone needs a few months, someone - a few years. Grieving people fully aware of and accept their loss. He starts to look for something that will help him get through the pain of loss, fill the void and give him comfort and healing.
These steps do not have a particular priority; They can be in any order, some of the stages of mourning leave, and then come back again. But the final step is always getting acceptance, when you finally let go of the pain and move on.
How to cope with the pain?
It is necessary to go through their grief, and then let it go and move on in life. Do you want to learn how to cope with depression after the loss of a man who wants to deal with it? Here are six steps that you need to do to get through the grief and overtaken you find your way to healing:
- Determine the source of the pain
Sometimes it is too obvious - if you're going through a divorce or lost a loved one. In other cases, you may be experiencing grief, not knowing what makes you feel the loss. Analyze all the changes that have occurred in recent years in your life, and allow yourself to experience the feelings that appear at the memory of each of the events. Try to identify the situations that cause you to feel pain or sadness.
Once you find a cause that makes you heavy emotions, recognize its existence for itself. If you pretend that everything is in order, trying to suppress your feelings, over time these feelings are still manifest in unhealthy ways. They will turn into anxiety, anger, depression.
When you feel that your eyes "wet spot" - give yourself a good cry. Tears for our body - like a valve that allows the exit of sadness, anxiety, frustration, and does not allow the accumulated stress. Tears help to get rid of stress hormones and harmful toxins that have emerged from the effects of stress. Those who do not allow themselves to cry in sorrow and grief, make their "contribution" to the accumulation of stress hormones and the weakening of their immune system, which may even lead to serious illness. Psychologists have long known that crying is an important part of the confrontation grief and healing from him.
Some people always feel the need to share with others their thoughts and emotions. Others - on the contrary, very secretive. This, in general, is a private matter. But not in the case when the person does not know how to cope with the loss. Talk to someone about your problem (especially with those who trust implicitly) promotes self-confidence and a more rapid healing through emotional openness. This conversation helps to discuss issues that may be too difficult or painful for you alone, without the friendly support.
If you are experiencing grief and loss, it reduces not only your mood. Your energy level drops significantly. You can experience not only emotional but also physical pain. You will overcome anxiety, headache, muscle aches. Now is not the time to push yourself to comply with its normal schedule of classes or even give yourself the extra load. Instead, give yourself a break. Treat yourself to afford to do anything you ask and what might comfort you. Go for a long walk or soak in the tub. Go for a massage. Listen to your favorite music. Watch a funny movie. Eat something delicious. And most importantly - how to give yourself to sleep.
When you feel that sadness overpowers you - try to stay away from alcohol. Alcohol will make you feel only worse. Also, limit television viewing and in any case do not look melodramas with a sad ending. And yet - avoid isolation. Now you need to spend more time with family and friends. Even if they are just being next to you, you will feel a noticeable relief.
Of course, it is hard to think of something else, when grief knocked on your door. But in spite of your loss in your life, and there were a lot of good. Remind yourself of this. To make this more convincing for you to list all the good things in your life, writing it down on paper. And try to find for itself something positive even in your difficult situation today.
If children are left to study in another city, and without them your empty house looked like a ruined nest - think about what your children were a few of those who wanted to go to a good university, and who really could do it. Look forward to the fact that in the future they will become good specialists with demand in your town specialty. Imagine how many happy moments waiting for you to meet with them when they come home for the holidays!
If the dead person dear to you - write down all of the best memories of him. Thank fate for the fact that he was there for you. If your loved one has died from a serious illness - let's any consolation that his suffering is over.
If you are going through a divorce - you can think of in the first place that you will now be spared the painful moments of your life together, which eventually led to the destruction of the family. And the resulting freedom will allow you to give yourself a lot more attention. Also, now before you open the way for a new relationship. Who knows, maybe that new love will make you really happy!
Grief and pain, it seems to us, is able to penetrate all aspects of our lives, destroying its usual course, and we completely forget about all the good that still surrounds us. Maybe at first you can not bring myself to feel grateful to life for what she continues. But still try to ignore all the positive things going on around you. And there, look, and positive emotions will gradually return.
You already know that the grief - this particular process. Depending on the cause of your grief and loss, you have to go through various stages before they get your healing. Knowing the laws of your emotions, you can better understand how to cope with the loss you have suffered. Allow yourself to fully experience all the emotions associated with your grief, and let you help to realize that with the time they leave.
The sense of loss and grief are temporary, even if you feel forever stuck in painful experiences. We all end up healing and find further ways to move on our life. That's how the people. When we say that you, too, recovered from his grief and be able to live on - it does not mean that you forget about their losses. Of course not! We have in mind that you will be able to move on, you will learn to enjoy all the good things in your life. Despite the severity of your loss today.
If you mourn the great loss in your life - we were glad to support you, learn how to cope with grief. And if you know someone who is now caught up with the loss - refer to him with words of love and support!