That happens - live themselves husband and wife live, and yet they seem to be in order. He is a stranger shastaet bed is not (at least, no one spotted in fornication was not), it is - a woman pleasant in all respects. And then suddenly - bang, the husband took it and left the family. Yesterday, still only flanks otlёzhival on the couch, a cozy and familiar, and today took and went home, leaving a farewell: "Enough, tired, I'm going." The apartment was empty in my heart sad. And in my head, only one thought - how to bring her husband home? Put him an ultimatum, throw a tantrum, try to soften? How best to do it?
What is not necessary, if the husband left home
I must say that their husbands nowadays become too skittish. It used to be they run about on volyushke, pogartsuyut, and again returned to the native land. And now he bucked disappeared, and remember how to name. Sometimes I do not even ask about the fate of the one who promised to be there in sorrow and in joy. No, it happens that a woman even glad this fact and are not going to do something in order to return home to her husband. Relationship same families formed in different ways. If every day some scandals, ugly scenes and even physical abuse, only relief vzdohnёsh when hateful already faithful go home. Well, if not? If, despite the sometimes serious quarrel and quarrel, the woman and did not allow the thought of breaking with her husband, and it occurred? Then it is a matter, which simply can not accept the irreparable.
Actually, in many cases it is not per se. Husbands us to leave for various reasons. Someone slams the door after the avalanche of mutual insults, somebody collects things, because "I knew I wanted to live alone" or even "I fell in love with another woman," someone wants to prove their independence. Anyway, the chance to return to the spouse under the family roof is always there. That's only necessary to use it sensibly. Otherwise, set out to exist separately strong half can be lost forever.
How best to do my wife, unwilling to return to her husband's family? First of all calm down. Furious or did not realizing the internal pain such cases can do - Mama Do not Cry! If this sort, no end of the world has not yet happened. Blessed is still alive, is marked in the passport as a legitimate spouse, then we have the right to communicate with him. No, it is not necessary at the meeting waving a passport and make a man senses! Or call a hundred times a day, begging for forgiveness and trying to soften. Printing in the passport is he now wanted to spit - it can be easily removed and, if the wife will behave too aggressively. Pleas for forgiveness are not suitable for the reason that simply forgive, but then have to ask for forgiveness for all in a row at one hundred times per month. A press on pity is not because instead of sympathy can bring contempt and disregard.
Needless to run on her friends for support and assistance. First, each person has his own opinion on this issue and making it their own methods. And what works for one, often harm others. Secondly, it may happen that some of them take advantage of the situation and begin to hunt for someone else's husband. Yes, and utter it with three boxes all sorts of nasty things about his wife left alone. Well, and thirdly, in the hearts we are able to talk about the missus, what outsiders do not need to know. And how to deal with it later, when the family is reunited? So it is better to be alone and to try to understand why the husband left. And then make a plan of action. It will depend on the cause of the incident, if it is clear, and the situation prior to departure, and the nature of her husband. So, of course, each case is individual plan. However, there are some general rules.
Terms of helping her husband to return home
So, my husband does not come home for several days. Initially, it was believed that he would return in a couple of hours. Family still not a pound of raisins! However, this did not happen or a couple of hours or a day or two after. And we know that he's all right - not left in the bout, did not get to the hospital, did not disappear without a trace. Anger and resentment replaced by confusion, fear and remorse. It is clear that the spouse does not want to return. But this can not be allowed! How better to do?
First you need to try to look at the relationship in marriage by trying not to blame in anything myself or him. That is, as it were, from the perspective of an outsider. It is desirable for this to apply to a good psychologist - it is difficult to be impartial in this situation. We need to understand whether the pattern of what happened, or spontaneity due to a surge of emotion? Perhaps marriage has long begun to crumble, and we refuse to admit it myself?
Sadly, this happens in many families. Well, everyone lived by himself, and no one even tried to change something. If so, then all natural. Parting sooner or later was going to happen as a natural stage of relations. Husband and wife need to understand how much they need each other. In this case, nothing to do but just wait for maintaining good relations with the pious. Of course, he must know that his half longing and waiting. Otherwise, it may decide that she does not need, and do not come back, even if the separation is to go crazy.
It is likely that nothing like this, and the couple lived in a common spiritual space. Together they discussed family issues, argued, quarreled, somewhat accused each other ... common. Absolute harmony in a relationship does not exist. Usually something normal, but the man was angry before, could be silent or screaming, but did not leave. Now retired, along with things. It turns out that the temperature of the heater emotions read off scale. Who is to blame, for the moment does not matter. It is important to keep a spouse from rash actions. In this state, it is able to file for divorce and, to some young lady to dive to release steam and dearest half of revenge. Try then return everything in place. So, the husband must be found, to caress, to apologize. Let the first and pofyrkaet and poduetsya even let on that he was a man. But calm down and begin to commit reckless acts will not.
In any case, in order to make the faithful want to go home, first to talk with him. Quiet, friendly, frankly. If the spouse is too hurt or vzyarёn on a conversation he could not go. Insist that should not be. It is wise to wait a bit, and then re-try again. The main thing that a man has gained the ability to at least listen without answering. The woman is also important to find words that will help to reach his heart. For this example, only monologue. But her husband will remember him through all the time to comprehend, draw conclusions and will likely return to the family. But if not ... Well, I will have to accept and start a new life.
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Why do women want to return to her ex-husband
What to do after the departure of her husband
Terms conversation with ex-husband
How to part with her husband, so you can return it
Marriages break up for various reasons. The reason for the divorce becomes treason, eternal scandals, the death of love, lack of understanding, a big misunderstanding ... One way or another, but the demise of the family is always a drama for spouses. Even if this were all the prerequisites and divorce seemed the only way out. Because the gap between two people for a long time exist together, making their life the chaos and discomfort. Particularly affected by this woman. Man, having the freedom to use it usually begins to swing. Masta somewhere with friends, drinking to the full extent, does what he likes as you want, meet with some ladies of ...
The woman, especially if she has children, is more complicated. Many hang around with my friends will not - no, and they were married in the majority. With green serpent normal girls too close relations do not come. Hobbies weaker sex, of course. However, some hobbies former matron married to live are not used, as in the foreground was a family. Flirt recklessly easy - bachelors lacking. Here and there one day divorcee question, how to get ex-husband back. How to do it correctly and efficiently? Well, then, we will investigate.
Why do women want to return to her ex-husband
As if we did not fight with their halves, no matter how angry at them, hoping to leave if a break occurs, always feel some kind of havoc and confusion. Still, the family - is a community, a small world with its own way of life in which everyone has his place. And when the world is falling apart, it hurts all the pieces. There's no getting around it. So often we parted even hateful already seems to be a spouse, experiencing depression. No, it may initially appear relieved - Well, finally arrived rest! No need to file a clean socks, do not grumble on every occasion, no reproaches for the money, no name-calling stupid, do not make trouble, and does not come back home early in the morning. You can breathe a sigh of relief like, spread your wings and - in free flight! But do not fly.
An empty bed, no toothbrush husband and slippers, evening alone ... No one to swear, no one to wait all night and accuse ruined youth, no one to be angry and offended. Empty and annoying. And he does not think to come or call. To the chagrin of emptiness and vanity uyazvlёnnogo added grunt. Once this man, married, has made it clear that you're special, and he live without you can not. And now, it turns out may. So you became for him like everyone else. Besides, suddenly it turns out that after the departure of the faithful broke the usual routine, and there a gap. Than to fill them is unknown. And you suddenly realize that not to drive into the far corner of consciousness thought "I want to return to her ex-husband," and begin to cultivate it as a life goal.
Why is this happening? It would seem that a woman really was free, which you can use as you want. She is eager to return to the one who used to limit this freedom. The reasons are more than enough. If two people live a long time, his family, their concerns, problems and goals are associated with each other. In any case, the husband and wife together, there are in the chain of events that is torn when they leave. Gather together the links of a new chain and adjust them their daily goals difficult woman - have disappeared already familiar landmarks for these purposes. And she comes to the conclusion that in order to exit from this situation must be returned to the family of her husband. How can this be done?
What to do after the departure of her husband
Often the ex-husband to return to the family, if he has not found another woman, is not so difficult. However, when found and another is also possible. Men hardly refuse habits. Whatever it was in the former family, no matter how the relationship evolved, but it has become a habit. That is a way of life to which the former spouse is psychologically acclimated. So, anyway, but he unconsciously associated with former wife. And the lady, which meets or live now, it will not help to compare. In some ways, it certainly would be worse. Therefore, even if the ex-spouse is no longer alone, all is not lost.
It is necessary to begin to return to a cold-blooded rethinking relations in marriage. And they should assess calmly and thoughtfully, without accusations and insults. It is necessary to find the exact answer to the question why it happened. Perhaps blagovernomu something is missing or was more than the other way around? When and how it was that the original attachment has turned into alienation or hostility? At what stage of communication in the family lost understanding and the desire to find a common language? Above all this is necessary to think about it. Even if the husband before the divorce clearly stated their claims, it could replace the true cause invented. Not all people are able to speak openly about painful problems.
In order to more accurately as possible to determine what was the impetus for a divorce, we should remember what the situation often annoyed her husband. He spoiled the mood he was angry or if we are with someone flirting? Maybe the husband was nervous when we pestered him with any requests or were not allowed to sit with your friends? Or when we started to nag him for being in the house again, no money, and it was time to take the education of children? The reasons for the disorder relationships can be anything. They need to be sure to find out that in the future, if the husband comes back, learn to avoid sharp corners in communion with him.
Once everything is pretty well understood, it is necessary to reflect on how much we are willing to change their own behavior to improve relations. If this requires not only excessive force, but also non-life principles, it is hardly worth trying to return a man. Nothing good will come of it. If the behavior only needs to be adjusted, and we can easily take my husband with all of his desires and claims, then we begin to act.
Terms conversation with ex-husband
First of all, my husband and I, of course, need to talk. No need to hurry with this - let pass at least two weeks after breaking up. The conversation should be calm, without reproaches, accusations, complaints, excuses. Surely a man in advance to prepare for them and ready to resist. Another quarrel us to anything. It only further alienate the wife, and finally destroy the hope of restoring relations. Therefore blagovernomu should demonstrate that it recognizes the right to freedom. Just want to understand why the marriage broke up, and we did not. Surely spouse will respond to the proposal of openness in the dialogue of this kind. Still, before he was a very close friend, so I am able to make a sore one that was considered half.
You do not need to bargain and to promise to reform, if the husband comes back to the family. Do not threaten to speculate something, forcing him to the role of a victim of circumstances. Hardly a man then re-draped feelings - the stronger sex can not tolerate coercion. Even if we go back and forced the husband so nothing but alienation or hatred from him then not wait. Needless to say that in this case the cohabitation will be at least a joyless?
In no case can not give the former spouse to understand that we are willing to wait forever and always at his service. Otherwise, there is a significant risk to become a reserve airfield, where a man will land from time to time in order to bring his mental and physical condition in order. The former husband can not know to what extent we need it. Better said, the wife good feeling alone, is quite capable of living independently and is able to choose with whom it to link their fate in the future. This position is usually a woman touches a man and makes him understand that the former spouse if linger, and you can lose.
If the husband has another woman, you can not demean her and criticize. It is advisable to do to pull myself together and make it appear that we calmly accept this fact. A conversation started only to find out his view of the past and the negative side of marriage. In fact, many men are impressed by sheer female jealousy. However, in this case it does not work. Husband received evidence that the jealous wife suffers only amuse vanity and begin to treat it with disdain.
It is advisable to be in dialogue subtly emphasize the importance of men in the family. You can subtly hint at the fact that here de, without distortions and shelf, and the crane began to growl, and the kids are bored and homesick dog. It would not hurt, they say, often appearing in the house and put things in order there. No, there is an option to load the crane for repair or return shelves in place of someone else. However it is better if it is the former owner. Only he knows all the nuances of repair, and only he is able to beat the shelf as necessary. Thus it is necessary to say that her husband used to do really skillfully. If he does not know how to hold a hammer or be coughing a crane, then you can not mention them. Or do not believe or do not come, not to fall face in the dirt.
After the conversation took place, it is necessary to find a reason to continue to support the relationship with her ex-husband. The reason for this should be found neutral. Help in some matters, the meeting with the children on the weekend trip to the country - anything, as long as there was no hint at closer than friendship, communication. The main thing that a spouse could meet regularly. In meetings to behave with dignity, to try to have fun and do not look emaciated. Let the faithful no doubt - on it converged world is large. Most likely, it will make him interested in the personal lives of his former wife. For some reason she does not beat his head against the wall of grief and tears at her hair! So, there is someone to comfort her.
It is desirable to maintain good relations with her in-laws and friends of the former husband if possible. But do not ask them for help, just call, come to visit and talk to mention that very much like to understand the error of their behavior in the marriage. This will help create a kind of a support group of people whose opinion is not indifferent husband.
Of course, to all of these actions are as efficient as possible, we should try to leave the pious civilized.
How to part with her husband, so you can return it
Whoever was to blame for the divorce, the spouse is necessary to leave the maximum tolerated. It is possible that after emotions calm down, the incident will appear in quite a different light, and want to fix it. In a rage, and resentment can be a parting of the slander, what then shall never beg forgiveness. Therefore it is necessary to pull himself together, to irrevocably not burn all bridges.
Cried and begged to stay when my husband goes, is not worth it, even if we believe that after this life is over. The first is over. Secondly, maybe tears, and will keep a man, but love is stronger then he just will not. My husband left because he did not want to feel like a cruel executioner, and not because they initially did not want to leave. But even if this is not the case, then his feelings still change. You will see a note of contempt for his wife and confidence in her canine devotion. This position will allow the wife to behave as they please. It is unlikely that this situation will contribute to the strengthening and harmonization of relations.
When separation is impossible to humiliate and insult the spouse, either directly or indirectly. When people live close to for a long time, they know a lot about each other. And in a fit of anger in the hearts may blurt out something that will cause unbearable pain. Of course, this can vytvorit and man. But if you need it, there's like, do not want to have to make allowances for the lack of restraint and emotional person at a time. Women are easier to forgive the self-esteem destroying the word, since it is self-love is not so at the weaker sex and vulnerable. As for men, there is much more complicated. Hitting below the belt, they do not forget and do not forgive. So you need to control yourself and not to respond to insults with insults. Whatever the tone, they did not sound.
The best option of parting with her husband - a calm, friendly and benevolent behavior. Allegedly, the force will not be pretty, so I give you freedom. It certainly touches a man and his intrigue. Why a woman so easily let go? So he - not the best in the world? Or maybe she was initially very much like a divorce? In addition, such a noble husband make a different look at his ex-wife. And think about what he had overlooked in marriage and what was wrong. And this is a significant step towards a ceasefire.
Completed selfish, are not considered to anybody, it does not occur too often. If we are after a divorce still wish to return to her husband, in all probability, it is so selfish to not apply. Normal men always quite seriously perceive your marriage, especially when there are children. And the decay of the family, they often experience not less than women. Even if the marriage was far from blameless, the husband often ready to return, you just have to find the right approach to it. But this will require work on themselves and their own mistakes. And you need not be changed at a time, but forever. When the ex-husband to see a new, soft, full of self-esteem a woman, he will again be close. Because no man will change the world in which he is loved and appreciated, to the unknown.
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