He threw ... bitter, hurt, hurt. And just do not know how to live. Why did he go? Why ?! Thoughts rushing soul moans. What is the reason for his departure? The fact that it is not like something, or just relationships exhausted? And how to get it back? How to part with a man who really need?
This state once experienced almost every one of us. And not everyone, alas, could behave after parting with a beloved worthy. It is understandable. The loss of the beloved - is a huge stress. The woman was nervous, lost and starts to do things, what then may regret. How to part with a man to avoid such mistakes? First of all, let's understand why men have quit. And try to see the situation from several sides.
Why do men have quit?
In fact, to get the man's honest and clear answer to the question why he left, can be extremely rare. The representatives of the strong half of humanity, or shirk it or keep silent at all. Therefore, we can only assume that he left because of the fact that:
Found another;
I never liked just having fun;
So wanted his mother;
I'm not worthy of it.
That is what usually comes to mind. And some of these points may be true. And the other is, and just hang out, and my mother is a great authority. Well, worthy or unworthy - a moot point. There is just everything can be quite the opposite. Often it is the men throw the women that they enjoy every day more and more. They leave because they are afraid of heartache from a possible separation from his beloved. Why torture yourself accusations should not be worthlessness. Even if a young man, go and show aggression. Sometimes it is simply explained by the fact that because it is easier to break off relations.
It happens that the guy throws the girl as soon begins to realize that she was very attached to him. This happens usually when he was not going to advance too long to see her. At one time, young people together was interesting and fun. But nothing serious man does not like and did not offer. And when the relationship began to move in advance the planned face he just ripped them not particularly suffering from the pangs of conscience. And, most importantly, claim the young man really something to present no trouble. He's their intentions initially did not hide.
And finally, we men often throw due to ordinary cowardice. From the point of view of the stronger sex it is called a "noble", "desire to protect a woman from trouble", "intelligence" and other things. In short, anything but cowardice. In fact, under all these definitions of male hides the fear of responsibility for someone else but himself.
In general, these are the main reasons why we throw. Let's try to give a sober assessment of each individual case.
As it relates to the fact that the cast?
Yes, we say, explaining that a man threw a woman are different. But this is not getting any easier! This, of course, wrong. Pain - not a trained dog, she did not say "Ugh! ". Yes, probably not necessary. You just need to try to reduce the suffering a little bit, and then go through their maximum advantage. And for this it is necessary first of all to understand the situation, to see it a little differently than just after breaking up with a guy. This will help keep from reckless actions provoked a surge of negative emotions. That such a purpose we need to consider each individual case. Let's start from the beginning.
If a man is thrown, because he had found another. Oh, how often this happens in our world! Emotion, alas, unpredictable and unstable. Today, love can erupt into flames. Tomorrow burn down. If a guy is out of love, there is nothing to be done about it. It is, perhaps, that he is not happy. But what happened, it happened. But maybe another girl - it's just temporary, and his passion for it will pass soon enough. One way or another, but in this case we can only wait. It is likely that a favorite will understand that without us it is very bad. And return. And if not ... well, so be it;
If a man is thrown because he did not like, and just having fun. Well, here and wait for nothing. He just looked at us as a curious thing, nothing more. And then "trick" him bored. For such disregard for a boyfriend and love is not worth it! What would it Why he took it upon themselves to use us as just another toy? Anyway, who is he to suffer for it later? This is not a frivolous type and drops of our attention! In the world there are plenty of more decent men;
If a man is thrown, because it wanted its mum - so he sissy. You can imagine how sweet life would suit his mommy established between us a lasting relationship. And neither do you protect it from attack or support. Gone? Great. We are now free and it can find independent and reliable person;
The man dropped because we are unworthy. May be so. Maybe we do not have the level of education, not the education, not the circle. But if you like, because of this, do not throw! So it's not loved. It hurts, of course, but teteshkat their suffering once. Zaymёmsya become self-development and perfection itself. Let then elbows bites. However, it is not clear whether we have then is a worry;
The man dropped because it feared the possibility of further pain of parting. Yes, it is selfish! Own suffering, so scared. A beloved caused. What is there to say? Perhaps, if the relationship lasted, so be it was. From his own suffering, he would have dissociated himself. A favorite meal to have paid no attention. Is this young man can become a mainstay in your life? No way. So let run from heartache and more;
The man dropped because it was afraid of condemnation on the part of and responsibility for a woman. Coward said. A coward and a traitor. With such tipchiki to link the fate of - suicide. They can deliver at any moment, and disappear when you are very difficult and require assistance. Gone? And good riddance! It is unfortunate that we do pay attention to it and time!
Well, that's about as desirable to treat that we cast. Of course, such an attitude does not solve the question of how to leave with the man you love. Love, it is known to be evil. And it is not particularly interested in the advantages or disadvantages of a love object. Lives myself and everything. And it makes us suffer when "love object" throws us. So what's still more you can do to soften the blow and be able to withstand it?
How to survive the departure of the beloved?
First of all, we take into account - that the care a loved one did not become very painful, initially can not be dissolved in a man. Many of us, falling in love with someone, begin to live his problems and interests, completely forgetting about their own affairs and wishes. Of course, such an attachment when parting will cause deep suffering. After all, if we tear off part of yourself. Therefore, you should always try to be like at a certain distance from a loved one and do not allow yourself to grow into it.
In that case, if we suddenly felt that the man was about to give up, it is advisable to gather strength and throw it most. First, it will protect dignity of defeat and keep it intact. Second, the favorite may rescind its decision to leave us - a man can not bear losses. And begin to look for ways to improve relations. And anyway, why should we regret the severance of relations? Better to let it regrets it.
To the suffering ended as quickly as possible, it is necessary to debunk his idol. After all, we often idealize the one we love and try not to notice its shortcomings. And they always have. So we take them finally into consideration and try to think about the shortcomings of the men as much as possible.
In general, it is better to say: "It did not work - so it's not mine." Get over it and move on.
We recommend that read: how to forget Man
Contents:
Love is…
It's just the love?
Finally, you meet him! The one and only! All my life (at least you think so!) You were waiting for a man who will make your heart sing with joy. And now he's there with you and all of your thoughts are occupied only for them - a real handsome prince, albeit without the white horse. Relationship fold your fine, and everything you perceive it as a couple. Yes, and you are starting to talk about the future.
But very often such promising at first glance, relationships are doomed to fail. Why is this happening? Psychologists say that the reason - the inability to distinguish true love from a temporary enthusiasm or, in other words, love. People laid on such a relationship too much hope. In order not to face the disappointment is pre-armed with some knowledge.
How do you see your future together? What do you think, is it always you will be comfortable together? Is this the kind of person to whom you are willing to spend their entire lives, or are you just afraid to go in the future alone? These issues deserve careful consideration.
Passion that spans lovers, does such an emotional "make-up" on their relationship, which sometimes even a simple love may seem a serious sense. How not to be mistaken, walking on thorny paths of love? How to distinguish love from love? To answer these questions, let's first define what is love and love.
Love is…
It is impossible to give an unambiguous definition of love, because it is - not an exact science. Love - a dynamic process. This means that over time, relationships change, grow and acquire additional shades. Love reveals the best in people personality. It helps in the work and in building a career in family issues and challenges - loving people act as a team, helping and supporting each other, showing understanding and flexibility in the relationship. And this is only their relationship thrive.
The dynamics due to exchange emotions of love, trust, deepening relations. Couple turns into a kind of symbiosis - they enjoy the company of each other, trust each other all the secrets that could not be entrusted to anyone else, depend on each other and share with each other worries about raising children and caring for their aging parents. They themselves grow old, but grow old together.
Of course, between people who love each other occasionally have conflicts, sometimes very serious. It lives and others simply can not be - it is only in fairy tales everything is always smooth and rosy. And then - the authors of fairy tales do not tell us about family relations heroes, preferring to avoid the phrase "they lived happily ever after and died in one day."
This is perfectly normal - everyone periodically quarreling and loving each other is no exception. The only difference is that the loving couple has successfully overcome all conflict situations - a fortress of their union and warm attitude towards each other quarrel no effect. Of course, over time, the relationship in a pair undergo some changes. That, however, and of course - can not be after 15 years of marriage treat each other the same way as in the first year. Yeah, maybe the adrenaline and passion will be a little less. But if we are talking about real love, they will be replaced by the warmth, care and respect.
But if you live together for a long time, people who love and have not turned into love, passion will come to the place of anger, dissatisfaction with each other, resentment, unresolved conflicts, infidelity. Such steam sooner or later cease to exist, and it is - the best option. If you do not love each other people continue to live under the same roof, this does not win absolutely nothing.
It's just the love?
Thus, with love all more or less clear. And what is passion? When you are in love and do not love you, too, you are constantly thinking of her beloved, and all of your interests are focused on it. You have made up their own shared history; it can be very short, and may continue for quite a long time. You also love to be together, and dreaming about each other, and at the memory of a loved shivers run you through the body. In short, the picture is exactly the same as in the case of love. Then how to distinguish love from love, when all seems so similar?
Love, of which we are speaking, it is a static process that is characterized by unrealistic expectations of blissful passion without positive growth and development of the relations. There is no such complete trust, lack of loyalty, commitment, there is no such reciprocity.
Enthusiasm is not necessarily a prelude to true love. On the example of the men is particularly evident the difference between the love of love - passionate, but who does not love a man often thinks about the subject of his passion only at the meeting, or directly in front of her. All the rest of the time his thoughts are busy with other life issues. While the lover man almost all the vital issues are resolved for the sake of his beloved.
By the way, women that rule does not apply - in most cases during the love object of adoration does not leave the girls thought. But it does not last too long - a maximum of a couple of months. And after that, all the same pattern - of the man she remembers only before by date.
How else to distinguish love from a simple love? It is unlikely that the above example is enough to understand that you really feel, because everything is very individual. Ask easier than to answer it, but we can look for other answers. Let's try to ask ourselves a question:
These relationships reveal both all the best in you? In response, try to analyze and evaluate yourself, your partner and your relationship, just be honest with yourself.
Yes? (Be honest!) When you wake up, you're excited about a new day, life itself?
And your parents already know about you and your relationship? You introduced her parents with her boyfriend? And it you acquainted with your parents?
Are you happy with your life today? Do you feel that your life has become a lot better just because he appeared in it? Do you have any hopes for the future? Do you build a joint plans for the next few years, if you have a common dream?
You think and plan their business as a couple? You have to give up something for the sake of the relationship, or do you consider the dreams and desires of each other?
You have automatically meant that you will spend a weekend together, or do you just expect that the meeting may ever happen?
You accept each other for what you are? You do not try to re-educate each other, to change something in one another?
Feel the difference!
After answering all questions, courageously look facts in the face. Honest answers will help you understand the difference between the love of love. When you are passionate about, it is quite possible that your eyes are drawn to this man, and all of your thoughts revolve around him. Maybe your whole world has shrunk to a relationship with this person. But! Trying to consider your future together, you feel as if the blinders on the eyes. You honestly do not even try to think about your future together. And it says that you are not confident in their relationship.
If you do not see in his beloved no flaws, it's certainly understandable. Euphoria also serves blinders on your eyes. But you will not be able to determine whether you are ready to put up with its shortcomings, are you ready to accept him - an ordinary, everyday, with their zamorochki and cranky. They're there for each of us.
Euphoria will take place sooner or later, and where is the guarantee that you will not irritate his habits? As soon as the re - everything! End of romance! Too many relationships have broken up because of this. And when people love each other - there is no euphoria that makes them blind. Loving perfectly see disadvantages of each, but the love and accept each other just as they are. And do not try to remake - because then it will be a completely different person, not the one who was loved until now!
Euphoria is typical for the period of love. Many of us have had this experience, especially if you remember during our youth. We fell in love in a completely normal boys who then did not seem to us common. In retrospect, it is easier to see and understand their errors. At that time we were not ready to consider ordinary and even the shortcomings of the object of his secret sighs.
Our thoughts were full of romantic fantasies, and elect attributed those traits, which in fact he did not have; passion - that's what we felt then. Passion and love. Now that we understand this, we must not repeat the mistakes inherent in youth. Where to start your relationship? You escaped from loneliness? Do you want to feel better than others?
Then there is the real possibility that today you give his handpicked features, which in fact he does not have, and your feelings have very little in common with the real object of your hobbies. All this is happening more in your head than in reality. Trying to find the man next to the salvation of the lonely life, you become particularly vulnerable, because your dreams are likely should ever fail.
If you love, all your dreams can become a reality. Because they are common. Give and take, to compromise and to be in constant co-operation - that is characteristic of love relationships. Achieving common goals, shared values each other determine the dynamics of the relationship of love.
Some tips we gave you. You will now be able to distinguish love from love. Of course, trying to differentiate their relationships require you courage and bravery. They also require you to maturity and the ability to step back to examine the big picture. As a result, you get more confidence and make a confident step toward love.
