Ah, love, love ... How much of it is said, written, sung! How to create a scientific treatises and conducted research this mysterious feeling! But no one could still clearly explain what is love. What is clear is that this is a special condition of the nervous system, which some pundits believe the disease. Maybe they're right. However, the disease destroys and contributes to the decline of forces, and true love builds strength and increases a hundredfold. "Yah! "- Tell someone -" There are many examples when the love of man and destroyed pushed him to the crime. " There is. Only this was not true love, and that with which it is often confused - a love relationship. That's it, then it can be classified as a disease. And the disease is quite severe, from which you want to get rid of. Let's take a closer look at what it is and how to get rid of love addiction.
The difference between love from love addiction
We almost from the cradle taught that true love is certainly linked to the dedication, sacrifice and suffering. And the suffering, they say, ennoble. In fact, this approach to love relationships strongly smacks of masochism. A man truly loves, does not have to suffer. His sense of light, quiet and not create special psychological discomfort, even if unrequited love. True, it should give pleasure, and not to bring some suffering, from which you want to be free.
No, in the early stages of love, of course, all have emotional swings. This period is characterized by frequent changes of mood with exalted, elevated on a dreary, depressed. However, the characteristic is usually more young people with unstable mentality. And when in this way show their feelings mature man, it looks at least strange. However, and this is normal, if mood swings are not delayed for a long time. If delayed, then it is not love, but a real love relationship. It is dangerous because it is accompanied by the outburst of passions and capable of extremely deplete the psyche. That is why everyone who was in a similar situation, you need as quickly as possible to get rid of love addiction.
In general, according to the love and affection is almost nothing in common. When people are just fixated depending on the object of their attention. They become jealous unrestrained, aggressive. Satisfaction of any subordinate relationship to them was a woman almost never experiences. It is suspicious, violent and strives throughout to control the person to whom much is tied. People with a love relationship may well be attributed to the mentally ill creatures. Their feelings and actions is clearly visible obsession with one idea - to achieve the object of their suffering, come what may. Achieved this goal if there is, does not matter. Even if "subject to suffering" is marriage, the situation does not change. A man with a love addiction continues to torment yourself and your soul mate, pursue it and roll up hysterics, demanding proof of love and devotion.
This painful affection of one partner to another quite often. Why, instead of enjoying the feeling and enjoy it, people are suffering, condemning the suffering of both himself and others?
Causes of love addiction
By the appearance of love addiction predisposed not all. We tend to it mainly overly vulnerable, insecure people who have not received a child is enough warmth. Feeling deficit this heat for a long time kept in the depths of the subconscious. And man, as an adult, doing its utmost to satisfy your thirst for love. Of course, he can love without obsession, if not a specific model is not flawless relations and nurtures the soul invented the image of an ideal life partner. If any likelihood of love addiction increases significantly. It appears it is usually when a person meets someone who looks like his ideal.
"Sick" love addiction, mainly representatives of the weaker sex. They are more likely than men predisposed to identify themselves with a partner. Women tend to dissolve in it with all your being and live only her lover, not wanting to get rid of the fictional stereotypes. And this dependence on man, once having appeared, then can be projected on other partners more than once.
As for men, they can also get into the same trap. However, the bursting of it, behave differently. After experiencing a profound nervous shock, the stronger sex much more than trying to no snap. They either turn in on themselves, or begin to wild life, constantly changing girlfriends. There are those who are taking revenge on the opposite sex, trying to bring his representative pathological passion.
Well, the stronger sex - he is strong and to find ways to avoid stepping on the same rake. Let men and male talk better how to carry and express their love addiction woman.
The behavior of women in love addiction
As we have noted, women are particularly prone to love addiction and often completely lose their heads and behave very foolishly. They believe that the depth of their feelings is undeniable, and the man to answer it simply must. According to this inability to think straight lady, but she is able to make him happy. And she alone in the whole world knows that this is necessary. Alas, men not only do not appreciate such a pathological attachment. On the contrary, they prefer to stay away from jerking passionate person, even if it is extremely attractive. Countries in this is nothing. The ocean of passion - it's somewhere nice, but a little sink in it who wants to. Dedication - is also good, but excessive, it becomes burdensome.
His love addiction woman restricts the freedom of man, unceremoniously intruding on his personal territory. She sincerely believes that he has every right to do, because "he has given all of myself" and "sacrifice everything for him." And do not understand that life is the object of her affection on these gifts and victims can turn into hell. Reciprocates the one who is ready to become the grass under his feet, it is difficult. Her constant demands attention irritating, and total control just infuriates.
In fact, women who behave in this way, it is not love. Loving people do not think about themselves and the welfare of their loved ones. In our case, these women tend to attach importance to the welfare of their own. They speculate his alleged love, accusing man of ingratitude. Someone humiliated, crawling on his knees, even promises to kill herself if the feelings are not taken and paid the same coin. All this - no more than a demonstrative hysteria based on egocentrism.
I must say that a woman with a love addiction really suffer. But at the same time refuse to understand that the cause of suffering - not that they do not get the right amount of attention from the lover. Even if that attention is abundant torment women do not cease. Because, despite the natural reluctance to exhaust itself, unconsciously it is tuned to the suffering, not wanting to get out of the state of anguish and depression. And will seek them up until not understand that with his maniacal affection to someone you need to fight.
How to avoid this kind of suffering, and what treatment involves a love relationship?
How to become an independent person lovingly
Basically, to get rid of love addiction has not yet come up with a clear, specific methods. But there are general guidelines that allow to significantly reduce the attraction to the object of adoration and get out of the painful condition of distrust of the partner. They are as follows:
Termination idealization partner. For this passion does not need to present some unearthly creature, but a real person. And people can behave ugly, wrong, rude, do meanness. In addition, they have a physiological need and do not always smell sweet and look great;
A careful analysis of why there is a need in this partner. Surely it is possible to meet, receiving the same from friends and relatives;
Rejection of the idea that only that person can give happiness. Happiness - an abstract thing, and can give him anything. But it is not a love relationship, in the bud destroying even the possibility of happiness;
Passion for some business. If you happen to get out of the cocoon of his unhealthy passion, it would be the right step to healing. For those who are inclined to love according to any hobby - a lifeline. It distracts from thinking about the object of affection and fills life with meaning;
Pause in relations with the opposite sex. You can not get rid of love addiction, rushing from one connection to another. Under the influence of an unhealthy passion and propensity for suffering can not build a normal relationship. Quick change of partners would not change anything. It will only worsen the situation and reduce the self-esteem even more.
In order to understand how to get rid of love addiction, you have to listen to yourself. Let each of us unconsciously, aspires to be an integral and self-sufficient person. Why volunteer to drive themselves into a trap of their own feelings? This is not only impractical but also dangerous. Because in such a short trap and die as a person. The result will be an enduring need for attachment to someone. Even if he is not an angel.
And one more thing. Women who are "crazy with love", usually need sympathy. They are able to look for him, even in unfamiliar people, dedicating them to the smallest details of his "tragic relationship." This reflex impulse that must be brought under control. Yes, the pain of the soul tormented and torn out. And you want to talk. Overall, the pronunciation of the problem helps to cope with it. But when it is carried out within some limits. And if a man incessantly talks about his experiences all in a row, he plunges headlong into them. And the situation becomes desperate, and love addiction - chronic.
In short, in order to destroy a love relationship, it is necessary to understand and try to rein in his emotions. We can love very much, and there is no pathology. It comes when we begin to open everywhere and intrusive to demonstrate their limitless, sacrificial love. Therefore, we must learn to cope with their feelings. Well, if you do not go out, seek the help of professionals. Otherwise, happiness is not in sight.
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