How nice to leave with a guy when you throw, or when you quit? The world knows many stories about how to cast a partner for a long time continued to "torment" his former mate calls, on duty at the window and other invasion of privacy. Naturally, each of us, in this situation, I want to avoid this. No matter how bitter and hurt, help smooth out the unpleasant situation civilized methods of separation, we want to share with you.
If the initiator of parting - your partner
If you drop out, at any cost try to "save face", showing self-respect. Calmly and without unnecessary emotions ask your partner to explain the reasons why he decided to leave. After all, in any case, to plead, to weep, to insult a man, and even to fight in such situations is meaningless. On the contrary, experience shows that partner's calm demeanor of boys leads to confusion, as they are amazed that they begin to regret the decision, and sometimes even try to re-establish relations. Going to meet them or not - you decide.
It is normal that during some of the time you will be very painful and sad. But you know what would be best in this situation? Start living for themselves. Whatever the reason for your breakup, after two or three weeks after the sad day start slowly come to life. Go with her friends at the club and "light up" there till morning! Start walking on fitness in emergency mode and bring the figure in the order of a few months. Find an interesting exercise that will help you realize the creative energy. In general, the life and includes not get stuck in the past.
If the initiator of parting - you
If you are the initiator of parting, the partner also entitled to an explanation of the situation. To do this you must be very aware of why you decided to break-up - the best record for themselves the cause of a sheet of paper. It will help you remain steadfast, even if the young man would insist on the return. You should clearly and politely explain why you do not want to continue the relationship.
Be prepared for the emotions on his part. Naturally, each person is unpleasant, when his throw. Your ex-partner can throw a tantrum, to provoke a quarrel, insult you - this should be ready. Understand that the majority of people do not do it out of malice and resentment - they say, I do hurt, and now I want to hurt back.
Definitions have to be personal. Of course, you might be tempted to do it by phone, sms or e-mail. But such behavior is your former partner is regarded as disrespect. We must have the courage to tell him everything in the face and the face of his reaction to it. Try to use a speech I-statements, focusing on themselves and their condition. Not "You behaved like a pig," but "I am very bad when you do this and this." This approach is much less hurt, and then there is a chance that the former partner will hear you.
It is possible that you will want to resort to one of the following methods:
Separation during the conflict
The simplest thing you can do - is to say about its decision on emotions when you're both practically hate each other. Such a separation is likely to lead to a complete and final break of relations. And this is the main catch of the method: the man is very badly injured, and it seems as if you broke up because of arguments (and this is not it?) Therefore, this method is the easiest, but not mature.
Gradually you start to whittle down your communication, and generally ceasing to call in some way manifested in his life. But this method has several disadvantages. Firstly, there is no clear completion relationship that could turn unpleasant surprises in the future, when you see a young man in the company of another. Secondly, the reason for the cooling of relations would be incomprehensible to your former partner, and it can be very painful for him. In addition, this method also can not be called an adult: you move away from the conversation, preferring to simply delete the sly guy in his life.
The story is about the other guy
For many girls, this option becomes output, allowing himself to turn away from the unnecessary fan forever. Naturally, you should not use it with someone who has an explosive character - you never know what you will turn to such a conversation. And, of course, this method is very traumatic for your "former half" - why hurt a person more than is necessary?
Thus, the most loyal and the best option is still honest and sincere conversation with your boyfriend. Yes, it's hard, but you need to do. You will have to look into his loving eyes and say (not only in humans!) That you become different, you changed feelings for him, and you do not want to deceive him or herself. If there is a reason, tell him about it, focusing on your inability to tolerate it. Finish the conversation should be the words that he - a wonderful man and will meet a soul mate, that he will be fully fit.
The mutual decision to part
It also happens that to recognize the collapse in relations between the pair comes at a time. It would seem that the most bloodless option. However, for it is often rooted desire to accuse each other of all mortal sins, which prevents parting pass peacefully. If you encounter such a situation, try to maintain mutual respect - that it will help you not to remain enemies in the rest of his life.
Very often, taking a decision about the separation, the couple "pulls" rubber, remaining only sexual partners. Before agreeing to the option of dialogue should carefully consider whether to support unpromising relationship even for good sex. They somehow will keep you and prevent the arrival of a new love in your life.
Separation due to external circumstances
Sometimes couples break up not because of the cooling of the senses, and due to certain circumstances, for example, one partner already has a family, or going away for a long time abroad or in another city. In this case, it is better to refrain from any contact with the former chosen. Think if your feelings have been so strong, would be the circumstances could prevent you from? Of course not. Accordingly, your separation is honest and right step to a new happy life, but for this you will need to completely let go of each other. As they say, "is not rasstaneshsya one - comes another," why worry gap, as if you were not hurt.
A few useful tips
The division of joint property - is another important problem in parting
This process, in the absence of an agreement on supplies of a particular property, or one of the partners of a marriage contract, can take a long time. Often, such a carve-up turns into a global catastrophe. Be patient and try to stick to the rules of the "golden mean." Be true to yourself and to the former partner. However, if you have not been able to come to a mutual agreement, do not hesitate to seek help at the last instance - to sue.
Call smb.'s Bluff
Not the fact that the exercise of tact and endurance to help you part with former partner without a "headache". Some representatives of the stronger sex when parting attempt to evoke pity, if not, then to vent anger. Try not to give in to all sorts of provocation on his part, reassuring myself that all that we could, you have already done.
Do not rush to start a new relationship
Psychologists say that finding a new love is possible only when the old and lived to be released. Stay for some time alone in order to better understand themselves. Well, if the other guy was the reason for the breakup, try to at least some time to not advertise your relationship with him, so as not to cause pain or not guilty, "the former."
About "remain friends"
In fact, in a good friendly relations it is only a minimum percentage of ex-lovers. This is due to the fact that the separation is almost always leads to stigmatization partner, splashing him their resentment and anger, and then to communicate can be very difficult. And proprietary feelings may be a serious obstacle for a potential friendship. So do not blame yourself if you do not want to leave the former guy friends - this is normal. But if you get it, it will be very cool! This suggests that your relationship was really interesting meeting of two people to each other, who do not want to move away from a life partner.
If you are the initiator of parting, his appearance is almost inevitable. That is why a lot of girls pulled up to the last, forcing their own guys to sever relations. This behavior is aimed at the removal of responsibility and says the inability of man to lead their lives. You're acting like an adult who does not want to pretend and try to revive something that has long been dead. Think, for staying with the unloved person at least unfair to him. Therefore, praise yourself and move on.
It is important to understand that separation has a purpose - to stop the development of relations unpromising, but not devalue them. That is why it is so important to disperse beautiful and intelligent - then every one of you after a while to keep a good and pleasant memory of this part of his life.
We advise to check: What to do if you broke up with a guy