What career can expect a Woman, won the contest "Miss Body? ". Drop a wry grin and sidelong glances - that such an event has allowed Rostovite Pauline Nagradova, seventeen years old, lasso "Playboy All Russia" - Dmitry Dibrova. Young beauty did not embarrass either the format of the competition, nor the presence of the three ex-spouse at Lovelace. Yes indeed, what difference how many women had loving Dmitry if, two years after they met, he offered his hand and beauty heart. At the time of the next wedding Dibrova knocked fifty, and the young bride - nineteen.
O Lucky Man!
Happy couples took place in 2007 during the contest «Beauty of the Body» - this is where "Miss body" and "Mr. intelligence" found each other. Dmitry experienced sitting in a jury was struck not so much the appearance of participants (with an increase in the hundred threescore six centimeters parameters girls were 88-61-89), as its purity and innocence. As he says, it was love at first sight, but Pauline was too young and did not reacted to the feelings of the famous master seriously. Of course, how can the age of seventeen to think seriously about marriage? But, apparently, pretty seriously "caught" Dibrova, because he did not leave his attempt to win the heart of Pauline.
As he later told Dmitri looked at Pauline, he felt that he would be happy to have children is on the woman. "What is it called, how not to love when I was with the first meeting on a subconscious level, wanted her not only relations but also children together? ". Witnesses say that during the competition Dibrov a step did not depart from seventeen beauties, showered her with bouquets of flowers with intriguing notes, doing a lot of small gift. Despite all his efforts, the girl did not dare to such a short-lived marriage and has agreed to the marriage of a couple of years later.
In 2009 Dibrov and Nagradova steel newlyweds, securing its alliance not only stamp in the passport, but also the blessing of the church. Polina gladly took her husband's name and refused modeling career, which has devoted several years. She no doubt has thrown a career for the sake of creating a quiet family nest. By the way, on such a decision himself insisted Dmitry, dreamed of having wives in a calm and loving housewife and not insane careerists, failure to provide comfort to the families and loved ones.
Recall that it was for this reason Dibrov broke up with his previous wife - Alexandra twenty-three. The marriage, which lasted only nine months, broke out of a desire to become ex-wife actress (six months after the wedding of Alexander successfully passed exams in GITIS).
Polina is quite fascinated by his chosen and did not object to the role of "slave" in the family. Rather, it refers specifically to the type of person who is much more pleasant to spend their time in the nursery and in the kitchen than to assert itself, breaking up the career ladder. Moreover, it has already presented to the happy husband of the child, which Dima dreamed of for several years. "I really want to become a father for the third time, and I do not care what sex the baby will be on Paulie, he will be an outstanding genetic! "- Said a happy husband.
Fortunately Age is not a hindrance?
As soon as the connection proznav famous showman with a young Pauline, all media just blew stinging remarks about Dibrova. Not so easy to forgive the famous TV age difference with the bride in thirty years. Pauline herself does not respond to the attacks of journalists and said that did not notice her husband's age. She believes that her husband is much more energetic many of its peers: with him and is not boring in a disco, and a computer network can play and go hiking with friends having fun.
However, the yellow press is relentless, though one can hardly mention Dibrova in the print edition costs no details of his unequal marriage. "Each of his wife is younger than the previous one, if it goes on like this, he would take his wife the following kindergarten! "- Shouted the indignant guardians of order. For a long time it does not matter any creative plans showman nor his program on television. The main question of interest newsmen - whether Dibrov stop this marriage, and the age difference would not allow his wife to stay young for a long time with Dmitri?
Indeed, can a marriage be truly happy if the husband over the wife in the thirty years ?! Do Dibrov sincere in their high feelings, or he prefers to change the women as they get older? Famous fashion historian Alexandre Vassiliev in one of the television said Dibrova that his marriage to a young girl - the result of shortage of men in our country. "In Russia, so few men that any more or less promising representative of the stronger sex to forty years may marry twice twenties to fifty - choose the lady of seventeen years."
Despite such statements, he says Dibrov others is that the first time was really happy. Pesky reporters Dmitry repeats: "How much do you explain that difference thirty years - this is not an obstacle Fortunately, but not its foundation. I was unhappy with the same age, but Paul gave me real joy. Among my friends is full of couples who exhausts the nerves of each other every day, despite the fact that they are peers. But in my family - peace and quiet. What can I say, just lucky! "
Well, whether it's a real love match or another short-lived history, time will tell. They say with age people become wiser and more appreciate what fate gives them. Perhaps, silver Dmitry whiskey, time to settle down and make him appreciate what is next to it - the beautiful wife, a wonderful little son. Let us hope that the fourth marriage of Dmitry Dibrova - the last, and that Pauline Nagradova - that a woman who was looking for well-known TV all these years. In the meantime, we wish the family longevity, and the happy couple - love and prosperity.
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Jealousy and its causes
Classification zealous reactions
Types of jealousy
Any psychologist will tell you that it is useless to deal with jealousy, especially in the forehead. Spent all their inner strength, and the result is still not reach, only to spoil relations with a partner. Besides jealous very creative and will always find new reasons for this feeling. There is only one tool that can eradicate it in your family. It is the sincere desire of the parties to change their distrustful attitudes and behavior.
In all of jealousy always have their reasons, and it does not matter, they are real or imaginary. It may be some fear, uncertainty or own emotional loneliness. And also - a subconscious desire to dominate the object of love. Therefore, only the jealous, either alone or with assistance can develop a new system to respond to events that are irritating for him.
Jealousy and its causes
So, what is jealousy? This distrust of the loved one, lingering doubts as to whether it is true or laceration of the fact of his betrayal. Jealousy, unlike envy, does not focus on the material and inanimate objects, and loved ones. It is a kind of triangle, which are closely related to three aspects:
jealous or revnivitsa;
the object of jealousy;
one to whom jealous.
What are the causes of this contradictory feelings? First of all, his experience, those of us who are in some situation suddenly faced with encroachment on their property. So jealousy to a certain point brings positive aspects, because it allows people to keep what belongs to them, or they think it belongs.
This feeling usually arises and exists in the already established family. But you must admit, it at least once in their life experienced each person, because it happens in childhood (the competition for attention between the parents and siblings), and in relationships before marriage. Jealousy is also present in friendship arises in relation to colleagues in other areas of our lives. One consistently for all of its subtypes: jealous people subconsciously wants to fully enjoy the object of his love. And often with this in his heart manifested anger and hatred. But the most dangerous is the feeling becomes, if it is still in the relationship established couples.
It is not just wounded pride and self-esteem harmed someone who feels cheated or suggests that this could happen. Worst of all, that in this case we are disappointed not only a partner, but in the sense of love, because it is unnecessary, loyal and downtrodden. Unless, of course, it is a fait accompli betrayal, not unfounded suspicions hysterical person. The feelings that we experience when ourselves face to face with arguable jealousy are a palette of dark colors: sadness, emotional turmoil and pain, resentment, anger, shame, loneliness and inner emptiness.
And in this situation, not all of us are able to exercise rationality and common sense, so we often do things which later regret. After all, what's going on, even after the person has got a real reason to doubt the loyalty of the second half and is confident that the betrayal was the place to be? He begins to show despotism, infringes on individual liberty partner suspects and so on.
Sometimes it comes to tragedy, because not every person is able to control their emotions. But most of cohabitation simply converted into a torture for both, and in some cases ending rupture of relations, if not actual, their spiritual component accurately. Why is that? But the flash of jealousy burn slowly in people love, forced back to hurt, humiliate and insult, that is simply killing a feeling of respect between men and women.
Classification zealous reactions
Psychology of jealousy - the subject of scrutiny of specialists in different fields of medicine. Through many years of observation and research they were able to classify those reactions that occur in people experiencing this feeling. Such arrangements are very helpful for psychologists to reveal its true causes and find ways to effectively overcome, allowing you to save the family.
The feeling of jealousy is normal or abnormal. By their nature, it is divided into affective, behavioral and cognitive reactions. Experiences associated with jealousy may be expressed in the passive or active forms, psychologists also are three levels of intensity: mild, deep and heavy. This leads to depressive phenomena. What lies behind each criterion feelings of jealousy?
If we talk about its manifestations, which are called normal, then the reaction jealous or revnivitsy adequate and controlled, they are also finding understanding among others. As for pathological jealousy, it is like a tsunami that swept away everything in its path, and so it is quite dangerous. Man is not able to fight off overcomes his feelings and can often cause physical pain to the partner.
Under the affective reactions to understand the emotions that we feel, knowing or suspecting treason her hatred, contempt, despair, hope, and so on. They may vary significantly depending on the personality of each person. For example, the art of nature and people with fine mental organization are more likely to be in a state may affect the fact of infidelity and experiencing great suffering, if it is suspected.
Cognitive perception is characterized, above all, a desire to analyze the change. Man tries to find the reason for what happened, who's to blame. He wants to see the whole picture, to trace the relationship of past and present events in order to properly evaluate and predict all further developments. If cheating has not yet occurred, it is trying to prevent this in the future with the help of intelligence, not fists. He comes to the fact of infidelity so rational as able because of the circumstances. This behavior is typical of people prone to reflection and having asthenic warehouse person.
Fight or failure that often occur in the human soul, jealous, are behavioral responses. They are expressed in attempts to explain, discuss, clarify and improve relations. Anything goes: threats, entreaties, demands and even blackmail. Find ways to shift attention to yourself, flirting, imaginary illness, suicide attempts, and so on. If you hope to restore former relations disappears, and the above methods do not work, there is a period of alienation, rejection and move to the semi-official organ in further dialogue.
Active jealousy peculiar people who have stenichnym and extroverted type of behavior. They tend to try to find evidence of infidelity or refutation, sincere expression of feelings, trying to bring back a loved one, and even compete with a rival. Astenikov and introverts tend to behave closed, they are experiencing their feelings inside and not attempt to somehow influence the situation, thereby demonstrating passivity.
The color intensity of experiences related to how unexpected betrayal broke into the couple's relationship. If it occurs in more than a happy family, and feelings caused by jealousy, will be sharp and deep. After all, faithful and loyal person suffers more than others. Jealousy is particularly unbearable, if the husband or wife, who caused it to delay the resolution of the situation and take a clear decision.
There are factors that increase the feeling of jealousy:
inertia, in which it is difficult to realize the fact of treason and decide on further action;
life in the "starry-eyed", in which there is no room for compromise;
proprietary attitude inherent egocentric;
high self-esteem, which often leads to despotism against the offending partner;
low self-esteem, promotes self-abasement;
isolation in which the partner is the only loved one, and his departure plunges into the abyss of loneliness;
financial or emotional dependence on the partner, and so on.
Different directions and have the aggression that occurred when jealousy. A man or woman who would rather allow themselves to love, rather than doing it yourself, send your entire negative on the traitor. And the people who actively expressed their feelings, experience more aggression to the opponent or an opponent, he is the object of love as if they are justified in their own eyes.
Types of jealousy
The jealousy that arises in the relationship of man and woman, has four main types and is divided into tyrannical pinching, handling and graft. Each of them is a direct result of our own psycho, characters and beliefs. In most cases, jealousy is the result of mixing several of its species with the predominance of one thing - the main thing.
Tyrannical jealousy peculiar experience to people with high self-esteem, domineering, stubborn and emotionally limited. They tend to be very high demands on the partner. Often it is impossible to comply with them fully and leads to the fact that the relationship comes alienation. In a couple of people that have changed, looking for the cause of this is not in itself, but entirely shift the blame on the traitor and even credits him with evil tendencies. You can often hear from men the phrase "change because a whore." This is a direct manifestation of the tyrannical jealousy resulting from the inability to self-analysis and self-criticism.
Tyrants are often plagued partners strongly convicted of treason. They do not give a divorce, threatened to select children are denied assistance for their maintenance. It should be noted that such behavior is not aimed at trying to keep the relationship, and connected with the desire to cause pain response and thus to assert himself in his own eyes. Even if the family does not break immediately, then the normal coexistence in it becomes impossible, because the tyrant does not know how to forgive, will always blame the past and partner harass suspected in the future.
People who have an increased mistrust, low self-esteem and are unsure of themselves, are more likely to experience kind of jealousy, associated with the slighted pride. By the way, such persons are likely to experience that feeling without reason, seeing an opponent or rival anywhere. Any negligence on the part of the partner they regard as a reason to doubt his loyalty and appeal to his sense of guilt - so to speak, for prevention.
Some people have this type of suffering in silence, carefully concealing his feelings, and thus create tension in the family for no apparent reason. And especially his hysterical every real or imagined reason for jealousy trying to bring to the attention of a partner, check his or her pocket, read messages on your phone, interested in the correspondence on the Internet and so on. Simply put, behave so that people had not thought about change, it has already made this step, in order to feel guilty in the case, and not just.
The most common and mundane kind of jealousy is a feeling, so to speak, mirroring, or treatment. It is the result of the projection of his own sins to a partner if I change, I mean, it can do and he or she is. Such jealousy arises if the relationship goes from love and mutual respect, because otherwise the partners did not think about how to have fun on the side.
With regard to graft jealousy, then it occurs most often to blame those around us. For example, a mother who has experienced the betrayal of her husband, her daughter growing up inspires the idea that all men are like that. The woman, who grew up with these beliefs, all members of the opposite sex is looking through the prism of mistrust, as if waiting for confirmation to his mother, rooted in her mind. This type may occur in the case of allusions to a partner infidelity on the part of friends and acquaintances.
As for the male and female jealousy, that it is based on a variety of specific components. This sense of the representatives of the stronger sex is based on the primitive instincts of the owner and the right of the strongest. That is why men sometimes find themselves in the dock for crimes motivated by jealousy. After all, the instincts to keep in check oh so easy. And here's the paradox: although men often change themselves due to their inherent in the nature polygamous, but it is just more difficult to accept the fact of treason partner. Therefore, it is at the initiative of the men often break marriages in which the spouses are incorrect.
Women's jealousy is primarily due to the maternal instinct. After the birth and upbringing of children without male support - it is very difficult. Therefore, nature has given us the right to expect this to help their husbands, which would be impossible if they have no loyalty and devotion. Especially jealous woman in the early years of the relationship, as are in uncertainty, whether the man beside him.
But representatives of the fair half of mankind also tend to experience a dictatorial type of jealousy, based on a sense of ownership. For example, the daughter-in-law often can not find a common language, because they are constantly competing for influence over her husband on one side and his son - on the other. Or another example: A young woman struggles to protect a spouse from communicating with friends, thus trying to assert its sole right to own it.
But most of all because of jealousy, the more unreasonable, we suffer, women. Attempts to justify and prove his innocence meaningless or have a short-term effect. Related scandals gradually destroy normal relations and kill all the love of the underlying. And accidents in this case not only the adult members of the family, but also children who witness the loss of mutual respect between parents.
If the manifestation of jealousy towards you are that already threaten the existence of the relations themselves, then incredulous sufferer can help only by a qualified specialist. Of course, there is a pathological form of this feeling. But the more common view of its more mundane, from which a good psychologist will easily get rid of. This therapy will be necessary not only jealous side, but also the object of jealousy, because the family - a common cause.
We strongly recommend to read: How to get rid of jealousy for her husband