Male and female aggression: similarities and differences
The danger increased aggressiveness or lack thereof
How to deal with aggression
Errors in education and what not to do parents
More recently, cute baby laughing and pulled the handle towards you, that you hug and kiss him, and today he angrily responds to all your requests and comments? Unfortunately, that is the teenage aggression, many families know firsthand. And if time does not pay attention to this problem and does not restrain the child in the future student generally can get out of control. And then do not help any threat or punishment or rewards.
The causes of aggression in the child
In fact, there are many reasons why there is aggression in adolescence. But first, parents should understand that nowhere anger, hatred, and similar feelings just do not arise. Therefore, if you are faced with this state of affairs, you should first find the cause. And only after that you can start incredibly difficult struggle with the nature of the student. And not the fact that you can win (re) difficult teenager.
Family education, or when you have missed the point?
Many experts believe that it is to blame mom and dad, not the society, environment, school, and similar factors. After all, how parents behave depends on the perception of the world is still immature physically and morally man. Teenager, unfortunately, do not always understand that adults, too, can make mistakes, deceive, stall. They respond to all very serious. And even the slightest remark can cause a tantrum. Therefore, you should reconsider how you behave at home.
When parents do not give the student a step and do everything for him, the teen may rebel. He wants to decide what is best, where and with whom to go for a walk, what things he needs. And adults for him - not the authority. Most often this happens if the mother and father can not agree among themselves, how to properly educate children.
Lack of attention
Aggression for teens - is one way to attract your attention to his person. If, for example, my mother busy hiking with friends at a beauty salon, and my father spent all his time at work, the student feels abandoned. It was only rude to his mother and father, he begins to realize that he really loved.
Violence in family
Perhaps a member of your family neglects the rest of the exhibits rude, dissolve hands, mentally or physically humiliated. There are two versions of why aggression may occur in adolescents. The first - so that the child is trying to protect themselves from the person who represents a danger for him. In the second case, your child will copy the behavior of the father, grandfather, uncle, that is, the person who is the aggressor.
Often, adolescent aggression manifests itself in relation to the brother, the sister. It seems that parents love him less. The situation is exacerbated if Mom and Dad often praise a second baby, compare them. But even if a teenager - the only child in the family, he may be jealous of Sasha, Masha and Katya, you're constantly putting him up as an example.
Lack of money and unmet needs - it can also be the cause of teenage aggression. In this case, the child will test against this state of affairs. He wants a new mobile phone, beautiful shoes and jeans, powerful computer, and parents can not afford such expensive purchases.
Some children try to find a job to help my mom and dad, and others - need to buy and angry if they are not presented with a new toy. And if the parents still give money and give the teenager what he wants, the child begins to show even more his character, feeling the strength of the rest.
Secured families are often faced with aggression in adolescents, especially if the child never knows what failure. It's hard to understand why you can not yell at the other, if he - Chief. By the way, students are bad not only for parents, servants, but also to poorer people.
Have you noticed that in strict families where all members follow long- standing tradition, children are in their teens organize a rebellion. They do not like to walk in the same clothes that parents do the same job, just have fun and relax. They are, in essence, are isolated from society. Classmates of these people do not take into your circle, considering them freaks. And to be an outcast in society - the most difficult, with what faces unprepared for adult life little man.
Biological factors: when the hormones are to blame
Typically, such changes in behavior occur in 14-16 years. In the body of a teenager begins major restructuring, there is a hormonal boom. And if you do not send a son or daughter in the right direction, do not take anything seriously, the child will begin to show their "I".
The first reason why it decides to do it - the wrong perception of the world. Adolescence - a time when the student begins to develop its own model of behavior. It is not the mama's boy, whom was before. And there are two ways in which can develop relationships with adults. He either starts to respect the people who are older and wiser, or shows aggression towards them. By the way, the adolescent aggression can be a normal reaction to exactly the same behavior of other people.
Parents rarely notice when the relationship with the child begin to deteriorate. Typically, they are missing the moment, so busy with more serious problems. And only when there is aggravation, Mom and Dad start to attempt to remedy the situation.
Finding himself and his place in life - the most difficult in adulthood. White and black, good and evil. During this period, young people divide the world into two parts. And for them there is no middle ground. Maximalism inherent in every person, but in this case it is too clearly defined. Schoolboy does not want to accept the world as it is, and trying to change themselves, their environment. And if the parents are not perfect, but they have their flaws, the child pushes them away.
The second reason why teen aggression is manifested - a high sex drive. It was during this period, both girls and boys receive interest antithesis floor. They are difficult to control and restrain themselves. But it was enough to burn his son to boxing, daughter to the dance, they are there to have splashed out the accumulated energy.
What teenage aggression
Often parents can not distinguish between aggression in adolescents and just a bad mood, laziness, apathy. So, for example, if the student does not want to talk to the father or mother, it does not mean that he hates them or trying to ruin their lives. Perhaps he was having some problems, and he is afraid to talk about them. Panic should be lifted if the child:
He is trying to cause moral or physical harm to the victim;
hurting animals deliberately damaging objects and living organisms.
Thus, the teenage aggression - a destructive behavior of the child, which is fully or partially contradicts the established social rules and norms. Furthermore, this person is trying to destroy, harm animate and inanimate objects, cause disruption or psychological imbalance.
The child may be different to express their feelings. It can be as ordinary depression, and an explosion of emotions. If the student is always calm and flexible, this behavior should alert mom and dad. This state indicates that a student accumulates aggression, or he is just not able to defend their point of view. And in fact, in both cases it is fraught with serious consequences.
How does aggression in adolescent students
Teenage aggression manifests itself differently. Somebody insults classmates, someone needs to prove his physical superiority. Some people try to hurt those who are weaker, others only drastically respond to advice or comments. It is to know the behavior of the child is not only at home but also at school, on the street with friends. Have you paid attention to how it relates to other people. So, based on that there are several types of aggression:
Physical aggression teens, perhaps, the most dangerous. The main purpose of such a child - to inflict pain and harm to another person. The problem is that the student may not even realize their mistake. He will beat the victim until he lost consciousness, without feeling guilt or regret later. No wonder it is considered that the most terrible tyrant - a child.
Think verbal altercation with the same age and adults - not such a terrible sin? In fact, some spiteful saying kids can bring the victim to a nervous breakdown. Suffice it to say a group of senior pupils classmate that she was - a terrible, stupid, thick, and so the list goes on, the baby may not survive. Often such "jokes" and bullying leads to suicide.
As usual verbal aggression seen in adolescents? This can be a rebuff criticism of other people's actions or behavior, swearing, anger, ridicule, insult and hatred. Often a schoolboy shouting curses and threats against other people.
The man, who was ticked off, transfers its relation to other movements using threatening grimaces, facial expressions. For example, a teenager may show obscene gesture, fist Scorch disgruntled mine. Often this is accompanied by expletives.
The child responds directly to an object that makes him uncomfortable feelings: anger, resentment, anger, apathy, hatred. This can be used as a physical (beating, mutilation) or psychological violence (insults, threats).
The aggressor is not disrupted in the culprit of his bad mood, and people or objects that are not able to respond to it. For example, a student put a deuce. When he came home, he could hurt his younger brother, little animal home, breaking a favorite toy.
Situational and purposeful malice teenager
Why does a child manifests aggression toward other people? Is it always to blame and whether to punish him if he fell? The fact is that sometimes in the fight, screaming and hysterical circumstances are forcing it. Initially, therefore, should be to find out what was the cause of this reaction.
Situational or reactive
Imagine that your child is rude in transport, school or store. How did he react to such behavior? That's right, a teenager will try to give a verbal rebuff abuser. Only in rare cases, it will be able to keep silent, to avoid conflict. In this situation we can not say that the child - aggressive and overly emotional. Yes, he behaved correctly and not quite correctly. But how would you react to this situation? Every person, regardless of education or social status, has aggressive.
Targeted aggression or accumulation of emotions
If a child is rude constantly fights at school, offends others, does not respect their elders, so he is aggressive. Such behavior is considered normal. In this case, the student need expert help. And if the aggression in adolescence will be directed in the right direction, you will be able to raise a true leader. Such a person will be easier to adapt in any difficult situation. It is no problem subjugate the entire team and will be a good boss. If all let things slide, in the future, the child can do crime. It will be interesting to humiliate others.
In a child who is angry
The important role that aggression is directed at anyone. Often, people mistakenly believe that students can only harm other individuals. The problem lies in the fact that young people often blame themselves for all the trouble and conflicts, angry at his appearance, character, demeanor. There are two directions of aggression:
Schoolboy is aggressive to the surrounding people, animals and things. He fights, insults, humiliates and other experiences from this special pleasure. Often, the child uses profanity, do not hesitate with the brothers, sisters and older persons.
In this case, teen aggression is not aimed at any outsider, namely himself. Often, students commit suicide or whether they have a serious illness caused by psychological disorders.
Who are the risk category
The boys and robbers
Single mothers is difficult to educate and supervise sons. Excessive love and care of the female half of the family, the lack of male attention and strong paternal arms - all this leads to the fact that the child feels the king. Nobody contradicted him before, so why is now lecturing?
Also at risk are teenagers, fathers are tyrants and aggressors. Thus women in this family have the right to vote, they always and everywhere subject to another. Son in this situation try to resist the Pope. And if an older member of the family does not suppress the rebellion and will not break character, the child will be a replica of his father.
With the fair sex, the situation is quite different. The aggression is manifested in the adolescent if the authority in the family is a mother. The father in this case too lenient. The girl begins to copy the behavior of the rough, assertive, domineering woman. Plus, these daughters grow very poor housewives who can not eat or cook or look after children, and in the house they always perpetual mess. They are accustomed to the fact that it's a man performs.
The second category - children, left to themselves. And aggression - an attempt to survive in this, to be honest, not very fair and friendly society. Talking to the guys in the yard, she learns to fight back people. Gradually this attitude is manifested in the family.
Male and female aggression: similarities and differences
For some reason, I assumed that the boy's aggressive and meaner girls. This misconception has developed due to the fact that the schoolgirl is not so clearly and openly show their feelings. They prefer to dismiss rumors pour pepper in lingerie, not hit at all. Unfortunately, in recent difference becomes less noticeable.
Perhaps you've noticed that the guys show their emotions at once. They find it difficult to control and restrain themselves. Nursed a grudge and to act surreptitiously - it's not for them. Plus, it plays an important role in this case, public opinion. For instance, if your son hurt, his father says, that he gave the date. Daughters will also explain that from such persons should stay away. You never know what can happen.
Another difference - the way of aggression in adolescents. The fair sex prefer to avoid physical violence. As mentioned above, it is easier to insult, humiliate. But the strike - is the last thing the girl go. After all, it can get change. And earlier schoolgirl understand that words hurt hurts. They learn how to find the weakest point of each individual, and then hit right on target.
The boys do not have so much talent. They do not show aggression dot, as do girls, and mass. Who caught his arm, he is guilty. In the course are his fists and suffering and the surrounding people and things. Man, for example, can break up the phone on the wall, punch the door, etc.
Now let's analyze the example of the behavior of adolescents. So, imagine a situation where a girl like a neighbor's party. It may take him a pen and a cute pose faces, blinking his eyes. Schoolboy try to pick up this item, cursing or taking effect. Punished, of course, the boy, as they found that he is the initiator of this conflict.
Thus, girls are the instigators, and the boys - the innocent victims of circumstances. The fair sex like men bang their heads, while remaining on the sidelines. Watch much nicer than participating in such activities.
So, before you punish a son or daughter for a fight, find out what was the cause. Listen to both sides, and only then make a decision whether or not to punish the teenager for aggression.