"Mom, where are the children? "That's the question all parents fear. But sooner or later everyone will have to answer it. Many adults believe that sexual education of preschool children begins at this moment. But this is not the case - sex education begins much earlier. And it is on the shoulders of parents bear this responsibility. And from that, how well parents cope with this difficult duty, it depends the whole future life of the child, his perception of the world. It's about sex education, we'll talk with you now.
Anyone after birth goes the way of psychosexual development. The child has formed his views on issues of sexuality and is determined by their personal preferences. And this is the formation begins immediately after the birth of the baby. For example, a newborn baby is very dependent on the tactile contact with their parents - and especially with the mother.
Observe your baby's behavior at the moment when you take it on the handle, stroking, nursing. Rather, in the face of the child will be written satisfaction, he will smile, pretty pokryahtyvat, agukat. Adults do not even know, but it is nothing but an expression of the so-called infantile sexuality. Although, of course, nothing to do infant and adult sexuality is not.
As soon as the pipsqueak growing and developing his motor coordination, it becomes extremely inquisitive. A total of six months - a year crumb begins to actively explore all the parts of his body, including the genitals. And many parents, seeing it start to panic and believe that their child has any mental pathology.
However, it is not so! For the child, such behavior - a normal practice. It examines all the parts of his body - nose, mouth, ears, arms, legs, genitals. For him, such actions do not have a specific pathology. Some children, examining their genitals completely lose interest in them. Others, however, noted the pleasurable sensations that occur during the study genitalia begin to purposefully try to repeat them again and again. A similar phenomenon is also quite normal and does not indicate a deviation from the norm.
Approximately two years the child knows how to refer to all parts of his body. And about three years of the baby is quite able to distinguish between a boy from a girl is on gender, rather than skirts and bows. In the same period the child fully aware of their belonging to a certain sex. It ends the process of about four years.
And that's to four years the child finally formed a full awareness of himself as a boy or girl. In addition, during this period the child resumed a keen interest in the genitals - both his own and others'. And it is very important that parents are able to form a correct attitude towards their sexual organs and the body in general. In no case did not focus on the fact that the child touches the genitals - this way, you run the risk of him instill the idea that the genitals are something shameful and forbidden.
At the age of about five years, children begin to realize the nakedness and ashamed to undress. Do not laugh and do not take the child to his shame lightly. It is time to start to treat such behavior of the child with respect. If the child needs the help of parents, for example, while swimming, it is better to do it single parent with a child sex. It is in compliance with these simple rules, and sex education begins in the family.
Freedom of information and the blockade?
Around 4 - 5 years, the child becomes aware of the fact that in the world of adults, there are certain sexual taboos. Sex education of children in this period must be especially active. Be sure to talk with your child on the relevant topics. The child prefers to run around the house naked? Explain that to do so is not accepted. The kid asks where babies come from? In no case did not gloss over the subject, not jokes and not going to answer.
Try in an accessible form for the child to explain how it is conceived and the birth of the baby. Of course, many mothers and fathers become flustered, not knowing how to present this information. To help them come special literature. There are many books devoted to this issue, as the sexual education of children of preschool age. However, before the child read a particular book, carefully read it for yourself. As a rule, after reading such literature a few years of a child lost everything.
But be very careful and carefully decant all the information that the child receives from the TV screen and books. During this period it is very important that the child did not see any too explicit scenes, and especially scenes of violence. Scarce is still so small that it will not be able to filter out the relevant information. And as a result the child can get quite serious psychological trauma that will be felt throughout his life.
But the child grows up and has come new questions. Most often this occurs at a time when a child goes to school, especially when a pipsqueak in kindergarten did not go. This is not surprising - the children love to share such information. And it may be different from that which is available from your child. Ignore the child's questions in any case impossible - sexual education of younger students is no less important.
Of course, the talk on intimate topics - not an easy task. Parents have many questions and concerns. Suddenly, they will give a child too small or, conversely, too much information? Suddenly they begin to talk too early or too late? What words can be used, and what - not? All this excitement is understandable and natural. To date, there is no single universal scheme, so parents need to build a conversation, considering the following factors:
The child's personality can not be separated from sexuality, as well as sexuality - from the individual. That is why sex education of preschool children is inextricably linked with the conventional education. Simply put, do not try to bring up the child sex - just love it, and lead a normal educational process.
- Sex education and sexual maturation
Too many parents believe sex education should begin during puberty. But this is completely wrong - child psychologists argue that sex education should begin long before the onset of age. After all, at the tender age of the child is a bookmark basic attitude towards life. Of course, the child himself does not realize it, but all the information is deposited in his subconscious. And the brain extract it at the appropriate moment. And who knows what kind of information?
For the process of puberty to be effective, it must be with the child as much as possible to build a trusting relationship. The child must be sure that his house anyway love, understanding and support is always, no matter what happens. Only in this case there is a guarantee that the child will come home with their problems, not the friends.
Before embarking on the education of the child, remember that you must start with yourself. Certainly each of us has a certain sexual problems, or certain complexes. The first thing to do - to take them under strict control. Of course, to get rid of them in this way you are unlikely, but you can reduce the risk of transmission of these problems to their child. Take this very seriously - many psychological studies have shown that most sexual problems are hereditary.
Make it not so difficult, because such discussions do not involve the discussion of privacy of parents. Such talk is very desirable at any age child, even if he himself became a parent for a long time. The only thing that parents need to do - is to instill in the child the right attitude to the body and the process of conception. Remember that in the body there is no shame, as well as in the process of conception. All of us were born in the same way.
By the way, the parents, which is very hard to talk to such frank topics with their children, psychologists are advised to remember yourself as a child. If this measure fails, the most reasonable is to seek help from professionals - sexologist or psychologist.
It is not the baby!
Time flies, your child grows - and it matters cease to be so innocent as before. And at this stage the majority of parents are starting to be avoided like those. Even if the child himself took the initiative, just gone in the direction of the conversation. And a very good reason - it promotes the formation of an incorrect view of the children's sex, which can remain for a lifetime.
The main thing that parents need to instill - it is the idea that sex is absolutely normal part of life of any person. And so in any case it is not necessary to perceive it as something shameful or taboo. Although, of course, convey this information to the child is not easy. Children's teachers offer the following tips:
In no case is not red, and not to show his embarrassment while talking. In this case, the child is sure to celebrate this fact. And discuss all issues related to sexual education, in a relaxed manner, like all the other threads. It is not necessary to turn these conversations into a boring lecture. Speak with your child in the street, during dinner, watching TV.
Too many parents are afraid that their child will hear about sex more than they should at his age. However, this is not so - the child's memory is very selective - it can hardly remember the information that it would be incomprehensible or boring. And remember that is very important to highlight not only the biological aspect of the process, but also emotional. This will help the child to better assimilate all the information, and parents will be able to direct his thinking in the right direction.
In that case, if the parents feel that it is time to talk with your child on such a sensitive topic, and the time would be appropriate, it is necessary first to take the initiative and start a conversation. Remember, we have said that sex education is an integral part of the overall education of the child?
Therefore, and sex education are all the same principles - sometimes much more effective advance to prevent the emergence of certain questions than hear them at the wrong time. If a child catches you by surprise, you can easily get lost. But if you feel that a child is not ready to discuss these issues, I do not insist. Just let him know that he can at any time to go back to this conversation.
Child psychologists urge parents to avoid the "children" of names of genitals. Learn themselves with the same intonation to say the words "hand", "leg" and "member". Numerous studies show that children who have heard almost from the cradle correct definition experience tightness will not be of any marital bed, or in a doctor's office.
Even a schoolboy!
Sex education of younger schoolboys - the easiest, as the first wave of curiosity and interest in the sexual side of human life has been left behind, while the second is still far. Therefore, in this period, parents should only vaccinate your child a correct view of gender relations and, in particular, for boys, is very important the correct perception of girls and women.
It now is the time to teach a child to serve the girl's hand on the exit of the transport pass at the door to help get dressed. Smiled? And in fact this is so often lacking in many men. And this stage of education is closely related to sex education.
Incidentally, the sexual education of girls in this age a little more difficult - in fact it is now time to tell his daughter that menstruation is, why it exists, about which hygiene measures are needed at this time. Do not assume that the 7 - 8 years, this information is still too early - often in modern girls menstruation begins very early. And much worse will happen if she finds the child suddenly - your daughter may be frightened. In the West, this issue long ago incorporated into the program of sex education students. Our school is similar disciplines not yet offer so much honorable mission rests entirely on the shoulders of parents.
I - a teenager!
Sexual education of teenagers - the most difficult task. After sexual illiteracy in this age, with a very high degree of probability can result in serious problems such as sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies. And about the emotional side of the issue and we should not forget. You do not want your child to enter adulthood with certain complexes? So, talk about sex education at this age are essential.
Almost always it is in adolescence, the child encounters his first love. And help parents in this period is very important. Typically, the baby is still unable to chose a girlfriend or boyfriend. Therefore, it simply creates in his mind the ideal image. And sometimes accidentally finds him in this or that person. And not always right. It is here that the role of parents is very important. Of course, it is not necessary to climb into the obsessive privacy of the child. But, nevertheless, "to keep abreast of" you owe, the child is not done stupid things.
Girls tend to be sexually attracted to the opposite sex is expressed much less clearly than boys. As a rule, a girl looking for love, affection, care and tenderness. Most often, the girl sees the young man as a friend rather than a sexual partner. Walking under the moon, dance, poetry - this is not a complete list of what your daughter wants to.
Boys, on the contrary, it deliberately seek to have sexual contact. And parents should make sure to make it safe. Explain to your child what contraception, gently advise the most suitable option for him. If you can not overstep themselves and talk with a child in such a candid subject, at least make sure that, that he came into possession of the necessary literature.
As a rule, children are rarely looking for a girlfriend or boyfriend among peers. It is not surprising, because girls mature much earlier. They begin to keep an eye on the boys down, and those in retaliation, girls begin to hurt. It is quite natural that the girl will look for the object of attention among older children. During this period, parents should be especially careful - sex education for adolescents should not be allowed to drift.
Unfortunately, sex education in schools of pupils is reduced to a maximum of explanations of physiological aspects of sexual life. That is why parents should pay attention to is the emotional side of the issue. It is in adolescence, as a rule, the child is faced with a term such as first love. And, as far as it will leave fond memories of himself, entirely dependent on the parents.
Be sure to talk with your son or daughter about friendship, respect, girl's honor, manhood. Teach your child the right attitude to the opposite sex - it probably still will thank you for it. You do not want to grow up the son of a notorious womanizer and an egotist, and of her daughter - a cynical bitch or a girl of easy virtue? So take the time and effort, communicate with your children - and you all must succeed! After all, sex education in schools is hardly up to the task.