Civil marriage - a phenomenon quite common in our country: fewer men and women are willing to go to the registrar for the stamp in the passport. According to Rosstat, nearly half of modern Russian couples living in unregistered marriages. Civil marriage: the pros and cons - the topic the subject of many discussions. Some foaming at the mouth to prove that the registration in the registry office only spoils the relationship that two loving people do not necessarily play the wedding in order to be happy. Others firmly believe that civil marriage - it is just an attempt to avoid responsibility for partner and unwillingness to be with each other until the end of his days. So who is right?
Where did the concept of "civil marriage"
You may be surprised, but officially, the term "civil marriage" means official relations, documented in the local branch of the registry office. Come on, think that says Auntie important during the wedding ceremony? "So today we record the couple in the act of civil status ..." - right? It turns out that putting a stamp on the registration of marriage in a passport, you become a full member of a civil marriage, and open relationship "without painting" here at all to do with it.
How did it happen, where such confusion in terminology? Until now, most of us were convinced that there are only two types of marriage: civil without going to the registry office and an official with the lavish wedding and a two-day festivities. In fact, it is quite logical. The fact that even some hundred years ago, it was believed that all marriages are made in heaven, and therefore must necessarily be sanctified church. Before the revolution, every decent young lady wanted to go down the aisle with her lover in order to sanctify the wonderful sacrament of marriage. Those brave souls that refused to wedding and marriage were content with "documentary", were considered sinners, only living in a civil marriage.
Times have changed, the concept of morality - too. Now, few people care about the fact that couples "living in sin" not to get married in a church or temple. It is now common and ceremony in the registry offices has become quite unnecessary procedure for couples who have decided to live together. Nevertheless, civil marriages - such as they exist in the modern sense, not recognized by any church or state. Such relationships are still considered "semi-legal", at least in our country. Despite this, the people who have decided to live together and are not rushing to connect the knot of wedlock, getting bigger. What is the reason for this attitude of our contemporaries in the institution of marriage? Let's analyze the pluses and minuses of civil marriage.
Civil marriage: the pros
There is no doubt that civil marriage is very convenient because it allows partners to "try" themselves in family life. If in the old days, most marriages are made by agreement of parents and other relatives, but now the term "can endure - slyubitsya" unacceptable for almost all young people. Our advanced youth is well aware that candy buketny period end sooner or later, and there will be a harsh time to grindings characters, as well as testing of domestic difficulties. Long known fact that a considerable number of official marriages fail because of these sad reasons, so that civil marriage for many - just a godsend. In case of failure - no noisy divorce and division of property: quietly fled, and that's it.
Also, many young (and not) couples believe that civil marriage neither partner is not a "prisoner", fully owned by its half. Let's official husband may be holy convinced that once he is married, the spouse has "not going anywhere", which means that you can not treat it with the same reverence. Hence - the rudeness, indifference and even treason. In civil marriage, both partners - free birds, and if the relationship of one of the cohabitants in something not satisfied with the other, then he could leave his passion and continue to seek his fortune elsewhere. That is, according to the adherents of informal relationships, is a powerful incentive for men and women to cherish each other for real.
We will not confirm this version, nor to deny - in this case, everything is very individual. Someone really spurs fear of losing a loved one, and uncertainty about the partner you want to "live with him happily ever after 'holds in a kind tone, forcing laid out in family life" to the full. " For someone such a situation can be humiliating, the eternal insecurity with a partner to make to find someone who certainly did not run away when the first troubles.
Another advantage of civil marriage can be considered a kind of saving money. At the wedding reception, and it is not necessary to spend money - again, meet in rented apartments and hotels - two permanent spend money on dining in cafes and restaurants - three (you can eat at home). And you will agree that if during the period of romantic encounters any girl sincerely rejoice in the many costly gifts, then, sharing the budget becomes a general, and spend it on flowers for five hundred dollars is not very desirable. After all, without the bouquet, in principle, you can do, but without a new coat, which still need to save money - not very. Think about it, do you need such savings or not.
Whatever it was, while the number of civil marriages is growing at an alarming rate. According to the results of a global online survey, forty-seven percent of Russians do not believe in the durability of the official marriage, and twenty-seven percent believe it altogether the notion of archaic and unnecessary. And, oddly enough, in both cases, the opinion of the female population in these issues prevailed over the male. Is normal cohabitation - really a panacea for a happy family life, or whether it still has its flaws?
Civil marriage: minuses
If civil marriage was fraught with some pluses, then perhaps the institution of marriage for a long time would have stayed in the past. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, it is not so. Unregistered relationships are fraught with a lot of negative aspects, for both women and men. And, perhaps most important of them - is the lack of stability in the relationship. Indeed, why suffer, to adapt to one another, to tolerate the shortcomings partner or to correct them if you can quickly pack up and look for a "next happiness." Years go by, we're not getting younger, and strong family as there was no and no. Is it a pleasant prospect?
Of course, there are women that do not accept the idea of a formal marriage priori. That's just their strikingly low compared with those who almost child pores dream of a wedding limousine and a chic white dress. Often it happens that the beloved is easy to agree with you to live under the same roof, but to offer his hand and heart are not in a hurry. In these cases, women can easily go to a civil marriage, believing that "it's better than nothing." Himself they sincerely believe married women, only their partners do not always consider themselves husbands. Representatives of the stronger sex did not want to lose some personal freedom, believing that they have every right to meet with other women.
Any guy like that at home waiting for him and a hearty dinner, and stroked linen and quality sex. And all this, mind you, without an official seal in the passport. Unfortunately, most of the males are polygamous, and, not being an official of your spouse can afford novelettes side. What? He is not married, and the fact that you live under the same roof, yet do not stick it to you forever! Of course, there are treason and legally married, but there is a man, willy-nilly, to behave more cautiously: in case of rupture to be painful procedure of divorce, division of property and so on.
No less controversial in civil marriage is the problem of conducting a joint household budget. Moreover, it does not always happen together! If you think that, having entered into a civil marriage, money will endlessly enjoy your boyfriend, then you have a risk of "sit down in a puddle." It is in official relations man for the status should provide for the family financially. In your case, however, things may be different. There are many men piously assured that lives with them under one roof - this is the peak of happiness for any woman, and think about the payment of expenses or the purchase of new things they do not want.
It was unpleasant to think about, but it is possible that, without offering you a hand and heart, roommate doubt that you're the kind of woman that will live with him forever. This means that you spend does not necessarily. You can be second choice, and not become the primary. Of course, the status husbands are misers, count every penny in the purse of his wife. But note: this unpleasant behavior condemned by society, but "zazhimistost" Your roommate will largely regarded as the foresight and prudence. It you do not have a husband, you are not his wife - so why should he risk his money?
If you have decided to live with your lover in a civil marriage, you should discuss in advance keeping the family budget: either all the money in half or everyone enjoys their own income. In short, plenty of options, and they should discuss before domestic difficulties, and not in the period of their swing. Otherwise, you have every chance not only to pay for all the bills, but you need to buy property to live together with their own money.
By the way, about the property. If you are a registered marriage in divorce all marital property is divided in half, then in civil everything is much more complicated. For example, you have issued a loan car, and the money paid out of the total family budget. After breaking the car will go to those to whom it was issued, and prove to the court your involvement in the joint payment of the loan will be extremely difficult. Even if the entire loan repaid you personally. The same applies to housing: if the apartment in which you lived together, framed not for you, then get it either, nor divide you do not get. And no matter how many years you have lived in it.
Even worse is when one of the roommates died. If he did not leave you no will then qualify for the joint property will not be easy. There are cases where one sweet woman lived in a civil marriage with a partner to a great age, and after his death a few years in the court upheld the right of an apartment in which to live life. And this case is not an isolated, often turning to the courts with a claim for division of property after the civil marriage, arguing that they were the main breadwinners in a family. In short, the legal insecurity - one of the main disadvantages of unofficial marriage
Another important detail - the children born to cohabiting. Well, if the man agrees to accept the child as his own - then the kid gets absolutely the same rights as children, appeared in status. If the newly-born father, for whatever reasons, does not wish to acknowledge paternity, you will either force it to genetic analysis, or to be content with the status of single mothers. In the second case, no child support in case of a break for a child you do not get. Besides, it is not easy to explain to her child why you and Dad are not married. Especially unpleasant if over your child will begin to make fun of his own peers, making fun of this situation.
But what is frustrating excuses to close relatives, day after day ask the same question: when will this ohlamon to marry you? Our parents and grandparents grew up in a very different time, and the young life together without marriage commitment is seen as debauchery. And no matter how much you do not assured that happiness is not in the stamp in the passport, and in mutual love, to convince them it is unlikely to succeed. "I Would love - would have married! "- That's the whole story.
Civil marriage: the pros and cons ... What are the marriage more? Alas, there is no consensus. Around a lot of couples who are happily living in informal relations and are not going to change anything. Although most women, such a marriage - it's just a stepping stone to formal relations, a hope for a long and happy life together as husband and wife. But if you live with a beloved man in a civil marriage, waiting in vain for him marriage proposal several years - think: perhaps should look for someone who will not pull and choose too long, and connect your life, and spiritually and documented by placing a welcome stamp in the passport. You decide!