Oh, the envy - how to fight it? How to get around this negative sense of the party if each of us is not recognized in the presence of a lack of even to himself? And what if you are jealous? Or, worse, if the enemies of intrigues and gossip behind his back.
On the one hand, envy - a tacit recognition of your excellence. The realization that you are someone walked on the turn. And since we are all in the soul - the hunters, that such views are often flattered. But the primitive communal system was left far behind, and we need to learn to build civilized relations. Without malice, deceit, hypocrisy. And as envy - one of the most destructive feelings, you need to re-start the process is with him. Unfortunately, it will have to deal with constantly.
We understand themselves
To begin to understand what jealousy is and how it affects your life. There are two kinds of feelings. The first - when you look at someone else's achievements, rejoice with them, but it would beat rivals. You do not cry at night because of the success of children's sister, you do not make trouble with her husband because of his new position. You are quietly trying to brush up his daughter, parallel enrolling in courses. So this is - white envy. It is not dangerous, but rather useful. If you will continue to strive for the best, you will succeed.
As for the second type, such envy can ruin your life. Unfortunately, it is incredibly difficult to handle alone. The first symptoms - anxiety, anger more successful, irritation, fatigue. In the end, those of the fair sex discouraged at the first failures. And if a friend started together, but one of them succeeded, and the other remained at the very beginning, the women's envy will lead to the end of the friendship. After plead affected, alas, not everyone can.
Why can not I be jealous girlfriends
So, imagine that you have a fairly successful acquaintances with whom you are friends with kindergarten. She has everything: flat, car, rich husband or lover. Women envy gnaws at you every day, you can not escape the thought that she was luckier than you. Look at things realistically. Perhaps it is not so smooth as it seems at first glance. Just one can not stand dirty linen in public, while others prefer to share their problems with the first comer. Believe me, everyone in the closet has a skeleton.
At the same time, be careful and do not tell anybody anything personal, as if you're close with my girlfriend were not. Even the rich and successful experience a feeling of envy. In the future, any provocative information can be used against you. Accidental or intentional - it all depends on the situation.
Today, there are three main reasons why a friend may experience unpleasant feelings for each other. Beauty, figure, personal life - for some it is a reason for pride, and someone is difficult to accept you the way you are. How to get rid of envy a friend who you really value? Begin to admire her, make compliments. Just be sincere in the expression of feelings and emotions.
Gossip is an element of envy
Do not be upset if behind you discuss your personal life and career achievements. It does not matter whether you be friends with these people or not. Such is the psychology of envy (black, of course) - to speak ill of those who have succeeded in life more than we do. Typically, the gossip spread by those individuals who did not work with her husband, a career or children.
Sami love to tell friends about the others? If this is the usual news, it should not be pronounced coloration "I have her money and this figure did not", "no lovers, she would not have achieved." Intonation and content of these phrases suggests that the interlocutor discussed jealous person.
How to cope with jealousy
What if people are jealous of someone else's
Envy is inherent in everyone. If the view is that in your garden the grass is greener, belongs to a stranger, do not be upset. You - are unique; many people in the world, and it is impossible to force the other person your thoughts and feelings. Just as it is impossible to convince someone that you live no better than him (especially if it is - a lie).
If a man mired in their resentment toward others, is smart enough, he can turn to envy the desire for self-improvement. And if not, does it then you will not be able to help. Is what made you again for the dislike achievements and successes. So do not pay attention to others, and just go to his goal.
How to behave when the envious - relative
But if envy is experiencing a loved one, to deal with it is necessary. Firstly, it will be easier to communicate with a relative, friend, acquaintance. And secondly, he himself will be much easier to live, if he gets rid of the annoying drawbacks. How to eradicate envy? To do this:
Minimize all the stories about personal achievements
This method is probably most effective when seen first sign of envy - sad or miserable smile. However, this method is very few people applied. Firstly, it is very difficult to keep quiet about what finally achieved. Secondly, we rarely ascribe close envy. We think that all his congratulations - sincere, and spoiled the mood is the same headache that is referenced by the source.
In fact, his painful condition - a reaction to your triumph. Therefore, make sure the change of facial expression on the face of a loved one, when telling about personal achievements. If you see that close, listening to you, struggles with himself and his feelings, try with him once again not to mention some joyful event. Take someone else's jealousy as an illness. You do not touch the wound before it heals? That is manifest tact.
Offer your loved one achieve the same result
Like girlfriend a new car? Prompt address Automobile Salon and Bank, which gives loans to buy cars. Let rides on the same! But still be careful, ladies envy a violent and destructive. The fair sex is rarely enjoyed the successes of his girlfriends.
Tell us about the shortcomings of its achievements
How to deal with jealousy when my sister looks longingly at your new dress? Perhaps an unsuccessful landing and high content of synthetic fibers in the fabric. Just do not get carried away with the disadvantages of tie-dye, or a person may wonder if this thing is so bad, why you bought it?
It does not help either one of the tips? There is reason to think. Are you sure that this person really close to you?
How to cope with itself
The most difficult case when it is jealousy eats you. And do not get away from him, black desire to have all the best brings only confusion and disappointment. In particularly difficult cases, it leads to depression, aggression and poor relationships with friends. How to overcome jealousy in itself?
Aware of the problem
The first step is to admit to a lack of availability. Envy - this is the same disease as a psychological dependence or self-flagellation. Therefore, awareness of the wrong attitude to others will help you greatly. No wonder they say that the first step - the most difficult.
Do not try on someone else's suit
We must realize that the person to whom you are jealous, not better or worse than you. Just at the moment when you writhe with envy, he goes to his goal. So is not it time to take his example?
Repaint the envy of white. Do not become a hero of the anecdote, who asked Goldfish twice that conjecture to himself neighbor. Remember what it was over for the envious? A neighbor asked to poke out his eye, and goldfish, as previously placed an order, doubled for a second fisherman desired. He was blind.
Rejoice their achievements
Think of other people's achievements as a stimulus for their own growth. Envy can be a great impetus for the start in life. However, do not try to accomplish everything that has been achieved your friend. Red cabriolet - is certainly cool, but if your friend is not married, she and maps, as they say, in the hands. And for a family of women suit a more practical machine, where the whole family together.
Avoid talking to a happy theme
If at first you can not control your emotions, and envy gnaws at you from the inside, try to minimize the unwanted conversation in a safer direction. Suspended himself from a source that makes you such thoughts.
What exactly is in conversation with a man aroused envy? Try the achievements of others. You annoyed that increased girlfriend at work, while you're sitting in that year the office manager? And would you have coped with the position of head of the department? Or are you still fit less demanding job?
Imagine that every day you have to stay at work to finish the current business, which is not the end-edge. While full-time office-managers have long been home to fry cutlets husband, I checked the child's lessons, and now sits quietly watching TV. You still want a new post girlfriend? If you constantly analyze your feelings, you can not help but wonder how to overcome envy, because this lack of commitment to gradually reconstructed.
How to get rid of envy? Do something different. There is no better way to solve the problem than to forget about others' achievements, while owning a new experience. Take a vacation and begin to travel the country, hiking and enjoy life. Visit the beauty salon, hair done, go through a course of massage.
And remember: black envy - it is not a vice, but only an annoying trait, from which you want to get rid of. Usually people try to hide such feelings, which further exacerbates the suffering. And for good reason. We do not tolerate a toothache, and when the first symptoms go to the dentist! So why re-envy seems silly idea?
Nurture your character. Get rid of the hypocrisy and cowardice, to eradicate envy. The more you work on yourself, the better the person will become. And the more you have to be friends. After all, in the light of the very many would like to talk about their achievements. Would the audience!
In an extreme case, if you do not know how to get rid of jealousy, which spoils your life, contact with the problem to the psychologist. The specialist will help you to improve your self-esteem and help to understand yourself. And then, perhaps, you will transcend all of its competitors!