- How to start
- What we can not speak
- Be feminine wisdom
- Look for common ground
- Terms of the successful first date
The first date for the girls - as the first ... buying a car for the guys. As if all familiar, all the conditions are met, all told friends, and what to do and what to say - is still not clear. A lot of the girls on the first date are lost because they do not know what to say to a guy. As boys and girls have always wondered what you can talk at the first meeting.
The question of what you can do to deal with the unfamiliar person, especially when the first beginnings of mutual sympathy, always interested in the fair sex. It is best to consider your first conversation on a date with a guy as an opportunity to demonstrate their interest. It is possible that the guy too worried and hopes that the subjects of conversation will propose the girl. Therefore it is important to think in advance about what to say to the guy, and what topics of conversation better not to touch on the first date.
How to start
No need to set a goal to show off their oratorical skills learned in school debate club. Sometimes a smile and a look can convey more information on the location of the interlocutor than the whole big encyclopedia. And not just sometimes. Excessive chatter often leads to very different results than expected. Proper eye and pertinent smile can melt the ice first communion.
Indeed, the stiffness of the first moments of communication easier to overcome, smiling. The guy who met with a smile, as a rule, begins to speak first. And everything will be all by itself. Talk tied, begins a lively conversation ... And this is where many mistakes. Very often, a girl on a first date, or tell a bunch of useless details about his life, or respond to all questions in monosyllables Man. Neither one nor the other to do.
What we can not speak
Planning or just thinking about what will be speaking to a young man, currently apply in advance ban on certain topics. For example, do not discuss their illness. Believe me, talking about the health of greater interest to your doctor what your interlocutor on the first date. If you do not intend to make an appointment with a therapist, you talk about the sores do not.
Another taboo subject - discussions about prosperity. How many cars in the garage of your dad and how much money he (or his parents) accounts of how these benefits obtained - this is a very interesting topic for the tax office. But in any case, not for young people on a romantic date. Discuss the level of income from the unfamiliar person - simply indecent. As unseemly to talk about personal life. To do this, there will be time.
Another issue that needs to be not just close, and even bury and forget where she is buried - past relationships. Stories about your "former" or "ex" is unlikely to please your buddy, and you will be uncomfortable to know when, how and with whom you spent the time to a person who is at the moment with you. One must live the present and comparisons with "former" - the lot of grumpy and unwise ladies of uncertain situation in life. You do not like that!
Be feminine wisdom
If a guy is really interested in you, then try to learn more about it. Do not ask questions of a machine gun, and softly, listening to his words, to weave the thread of conversation. Wise women listen more than speak. To do this, not so much: to show a sincere interest in his stories and ask leading questions, starting from the parts that are present in his narrative. Any change in the conversation can be the start of a very interesting story about your counterpart.
But - attention! If all the same guy starts talking about his former women - listen attentively twice. Because the way he speaks about them, can serve as a signal for an understanding of what he wants you to do and what he wants to see his future girl. Yes, you can predict how it will later have to tell you. And do not expect that everything around him before, up to you, the women were bad, but on such an angel, how are you, you can not tell nothing wrong. It is possible that they thought the same, but negative, which are painted stories about them, rather characterize the guy than his ex-girlfriends.
If you do not know what to say, tell some funny stories from heard or read recently. Do not talk on your first date, how many cats live in your apartment, some reptile can be a neighbor, a drunkard, or worse, a very difficult schedule classes at a university or school. Needless to ask guy about his personal life and career. It's not an interrogation, but a date. And you came to spend time with the guy, and not to fill the personal data it, his or her neighbors.
Leave at least some information for later. Guys interested in girls who leave the place of fantasy and conjecture, rather than tell his full biography, starting with diapers, continuing vaccination in kindergarten and ending grades in exams at school - this is not the information that is to pour out at the guy on the first day dating. It is possible that after a heavy flow of such information to the second meeting may not take place. For the simple reason that guy is just bored with you.
Look for common ground
If two people have common interests and hobbies, the question of what they speak, disappears by itself. Generally, people with common views usually involuntarily attracted to each other. Therefore, during a conversation is purposefully look for these common themes. You can talk about the things that make your life more pleasant, the music you love to listen to, the books or hobbies, such as roller skates or hiking. Thus in any case it is not necessary to mention the situation with ex-boyfriend. For example: "I love the evening to ride a bike" - correctly, as "we are with the former in the evening riding on bicycles" - a big mistake. But about their hobbies need to tell without any fanaticism - you do not yet know whether it will entice your interlocutor.
As a rule, a girl with a sense of humor and self-irony with a bit more interesting for young people. Good sense of humor will always find a connoisseur, and if you tell a funny story from your life, you will only benefit from the ease of conversation that you create yourself.
You can talk in general terms about what you're particularly proud about the successes and achievements, but without pathos. You do not have to drag the guy's arm to his home to show their diplomas and to convince him that you got first place in drawing firs of balls! Be sure that the concept of "woman", "home", "show" and "best" does not develop in the mind of your companion in the film "to show a diploma." Believe me, he will regard your invitation in his own!
Whatever was a conversation - do not complain! Complaints are only relevant in conversation with her friends, who are interested to know where you have a new ring. They can talk about how you have worked all holidays / vacation / pm (underline), and denied themselves even a crust of bread to buy this very ring. Let her sympathize with you and let them feel ashamed for their envy, if it would appear at first glance to decorate!
But in no case do not complain of the difficulties and bad bosses / teacher guy, with whom met for the first time. Firstly, men perceive the complaint as a call to action, and secondly, because it is a first date, your guy might think that you have agreed to the meeting only because you want to ask someone to puncture the wheels of the machine neighbor who moved your cat, and apart from him for the role of the avenger of candidates is no longer found.
It's better to talk about his hobbies and interests. Show him your interest in his stories, and feel free to laugh when he says something funny. Maybe if you're with a man laugh at some funny situations from his life, the laughter you bring together more than a normal conversation.
Remember that seventy percent of the success of your first date depends on how well you know how to listen, and especially - to hear his companion!
Terms of the successful first date
In order to make it easier to pass this test, there are a few simple rules. So:
- Be a good conversationalist
It's not as difficult as it might seem. Think about the word - "spokesman." It is assumed that the person is able "to-talk" that is, he can talk while maintaining a conversation, but it can also give the other person a chance to tell anything. Allow me, and you guys are in a conversation, how to dance, "lead" you and you will be surprised how pleasant it may be the evening.
During the call, behave naturally. If you are quite falsely represent the greatest interest when you talk about quantum physics, it will be very noticeable. After all, in fact, you will not understand what is at stake. If you do not understand in any "high matters", which started talking guy, get the time and tell him about it. It is better to admit honestly that you little understood subject than to recalls with a shudder that barely held back a yawn, when a guy for an hour sprinkled with unfamiliar terms.
- Punctuality - the politeness of kings
Do not be late! Perhaps you think that have to be polite only crowned heads, and all the rest can not strain. If so, I have to tell you that you are wrong. It is common courtesy and respect for themselves and for the guy. Coming on time, you remove one of the reasons for the voltage on the first date. Come on time! Well, unless you like the girl is allowed a little late. Only no more than five minutes! And only if you are sure that you - not a princess.
The very fact that you are reading this article shows that you are preparing for the first meeting with the guy. And rightly so! Prepare talking points, remember the pleasant things about which you can tell. Pick up for a beautiful goodbye and comfortable shoes and clothes. Shestnadtsatisantimetrovye studs in which you appear on the first date, the guy, of course, will make a lasting impression; but you they will create the most truly "an unforgettable evening." Not to mention the fact that your legs get tired; but still, instead of taking a walk with a man to listen to what he says, you'll be able to think only about how to keep your balance. You do not want on the first date look like a heron on stilts?
Do not tell stories or pytaytest introduce ourselves as a cleaner if you have two higher educations. And do not be called the heir of the owner of oil rigs, if you are a music teacher in the primary grades. Deception will be revealed and you will feel uncomfortable. A guy can just find that you're not taken seriously, and will look for another companion.
What you lisping through third grade or something like tomatoes and cream may seem amusing. But it is not on the first date. Imagine what it tells you. Will you want a second meeting with the brusque and strange character? That's right.
Personality can be considered as a person who has an opinion and is able to express it. Tell me honestly the guy that you like, and that - no. Just try to make it not sound rude. But to be led by someone else is not worth. I agree that it may not seem interesting people who all agree with others or to show your attitude to something that is happening in front of him or what he hears.
No one doubts your education, but it's still a rule you should always observe religiously. Elementary "thank you" for their help in putting on outerwear, for before you open the door for bringing the glass; But you never know what you can give thanks! Pleasant guy will score his action, and you get double pleasure from the fact that you are able to appreciate his efforts.
- The pleasure of the travelers must be mutual
Enjoy. And giving pleasure. The only way you will be able to say goodbye at the end of the evening, feeling a mutual desire to meet again and continue a pleasant acquaintance with a guy.
Learn to enjoy the little things. Forget the insults and unpleasant situations! Today, you have a good excuse for a good mood - you meet a wonderful man, you all will be great on your first date. Do not let the past - not the problems of the past, nor former men - interfere with your sense of happiness and fullness of life. Do not sit sad and sullen look, if you have agreed to the meeting, even if you have a concern. If you're not in the mood, it is better to postpone the meeting for another day. The first impression stays a long time, and it is not necessary to deliberately spoil.
As you can see, there is nothing complicated about the rules of a successful first date. Follow them, and all you will develop the best possible way!