Joint life, unfortunately, often frustrating both spouses, they start to quarrel every day, and even to let his fists. Why is this happening? After all, before they were happy to be enjoying each other's company and want to be together for life! And then, after we began to live together, suddenly discovered that at home loved one was quite different, unfamiliar. Imposing handsome become a usual, not always clean-shaven, a man seated in a chair in worn sneakers. The woman walks around the house without make-up and hairstyles and grumbling from morning till evening. What happened? Where are enthusiastic and wonderful lovers, ready to go to each other on the edge of the world?
In general, the causes of our disappointments in marriage rather primitive. Coming into it, we always hope that together we will be very good, no matter what the marriage in a row. And the fact that the new infatuation - a true love that never goes out. However ... Goes off. After all, man - it is a natural hunter, who all his life need new victims, for which he again becomes a god. Conquering them, the man asserts itself. It starts from childhood when the boy, trying to please the girls, it demonstrates its superiority over their peers.
In his youth he was trying to stand out from the other boys are actively caring for some girl, but won its location. It can quickly grow cold if she did not try to be interesting to him always. However, even if this happens, the hunter instinct of the man still remain. However, he will not necessarily be expressed in the search for another woman. Hunter, a man can be transformed into money earner, the protector of the family hearth, the person who decides the most important issues of the family and so on. In other words, the patron saint, without which she can not live.
He himself will live only with the ideal, in his view, a woman. This may be unsurpassed beauty, a perfect hostess or a woman, a man offering complete freedom of action. In short, the one close to where it as comfortable as possible.
Choosing a life partner, each person is not only trying to find something that fits his ideas about his second half and look to attract the mate. And not every woman until, until the stamp in her passport, allowing himself to relax, becoming exactly what it is. After all, its essence can scare off a man. The roots of the frustration many married men are here. Before the wedding, a woman struggled to create an image of the understanding, caring friend and passionate lover. Of course, a man fell in love with this way of believing it. Sooner or later, he begins to realize that I was mistaken. And start scandals. The reason they can become any little thing - unwashed cup, slippers left not where they should thrown the towel in the living room, and so on.
The most original that disappoints a man in a woman - an understanding that it is not a goddess, but a man. And it may have some not very nice to him, habits and desires, and should periodically take a bath, and not always look good, and often irritated by being in a bad mood. In short, the image of an angel and princess inevitably fades, it is dull routine, to put up with that are not so desirable.
The second wave of disappointment begins when a woman who previously demanded almost nothing, in the end, turns out to be extremely capricious. She always want some updates, and a man already tired of this order. After all, he married a lovely and totally unpretentious girl! And if she is also constantly cranky and grumbling about the mess on his desk for ten minutes late from work, display of football and scattered clothes, man loses the last drop of hope for a comfortable family life. After all, he wanted to be the main thing in the life of this woman, and now more and more aware that this will never happen. And not so bad, if the principal will become their joint child. And if my mother, work, friends at last?
Illusions men, consider their position in the life of an exceptional woman melt. And, sooner or later, he looked around, beginning to realize that in the world there are other women, and that it is likely. with them will be better. And attempts to change something in the nature of current wife have no prospects.
Of course, many of them did not leave the family, and acquaintances on the content side. It guarantees that the other wife, he really would be better not. This applies mainly registered marriages. A civil marriage separation always seems quite acceptable results.
A simple check of your readiness
Useful tips for those who are beginning life together
You began to think over the matter, or not arrive with her boyfriend. But you are afraid that living together would destroy the romanticism of your relationship? This is not quite true. Living side by side can certainly turn into a hell, but it also can bring relations to a new, higher level. This solution - a demonstration of the maturity of your thoughts and feelings, ready for the next stage of love, the desire for permanence. In the end, life with a young man for even two months will determine whether you need to think about marriage, or the better part, it is too late.
The main thing in this issue - not to force the issue, and arrive only when you feel that you are ready for it. Only then life together pleasure and will bring frustration and pain of the first error. It often happens so that on the ears in love young couple in a hurry as soon as possible to move to a common housing, and after one or two weeks of their relationship is not a trace remains.
And the girl's eyes widened in horror, tells her friends about how much upset her choice. Therefore, to arrive to live with a loved one under the same roof should be only after your relationship will acquire a certain permanence, are stable. And in order to ensure their willingness to live together, it is possible to pass a little test on the livable and the ability to compromise.
A simple check of your readiness
First, you should make a list, honestly answer the questions, and if at least five points in it coincide, begin to look for housing for co-existence; but not particularly in a hurry. It may also happen that you and your chosen one perfect compatibility. In this case, match all ten items - then throw away all doubts and drives off without hesitation! So, here are the highlights of the relationship, showing that both of you are ready for living together and for good reason to ponder the possible marriage.
Young people see you without makeup, the patient, or unwashed morning after a corporate party, but not cold, and did not run away, waking up, kisses and hugs you? It's very good, because this behavior says about true love that is alive, and if you do not have hair and makeup. After all, do not forget that people do not always have the opportunity to look your best, they tend to catch a cold or suffer from indigestion. And in such cases it is very important to take care of a loved one - his attention and love is treated better than any medication.
It seeks to pursue with you all the free time. Yes, and you really want it. Well, it's evidence that your relationship is developed in harmony, not only sexually, but spiritually. You can make a cautious conclusion: living together will only strengthen your feelings, and the romance of them will not go away.
You have already discussed a joint life and distributed her chores. If such a conversation has not occurred, it is necessary to arrange to check whether your views on the role of husband and wife. It is better to give the conversation a playful tone. If there were serious disagreements, one should try to find a compromise before the start of cohabitation.
Do you like to go together to visit, to restaurants, to some event, but you will never get bored and alone with each other. Unfortunately, many young couples can not boast. Often, when he was alone, they do not know what to talk at all. In this case, to start a life together is meaningless - it seems that in this case relates only sex. A strong marriage is not built.
You know all the flaws (well, most of them) of their beloved and look at them favorably. After all, one person will have to live together, should be seen for what it is, and not try to completely redo or had high hopes that it will change in the future. Otherwise life together turned into a series of military operations.
You dream about family relationships with her boyfriend and want to cook him a delicious dinner, wash the mountain of dishes, washed and ironed shirts. And it does not frighten you. If you try not to think about it, hoping that everything would somehow by itself, by living together, you are not ready.
Have you discussed with him all aspects of finance and how much each of you will give to the family budget, and reached an agreement. Feel free to arrive, because you almost everyday problems are not afraid. In any case, all the differences on these items can be solved in the course of their life together.
Who is your favorite man has made a proposal, and invites a stroll to the registrar, but you do not plan to rush out and do otherwise: to test the feelings, yet offer live without writing in the passport. Well, this is a reasonable and balanced decision. But do not postpone the execution of a long marriage, because your man might like this appearance of freedom, and the next time he will not rush with the proposal to go to the registrar.
You have a living space, which can accommodate only two of us, or both earn enough to afford to rent an apartment. In the event that there is no separate housing and have to settle with someone's parents or relatives, you should think very carefully whether we are willing to tolerate the presence of mom, dad, grandmother, sister, brother, and so on. If not, it is better not to arrive. At first, the two of you and find a reason for misunderstandings and quarrels, so it is useless to live next to "additional sources of irritation."
The most basic sign of readiness for a joint life - this is your happy, "Yes !!! "In response to his proposal to live under the same roof. So you want it with all my heart so completely unable to control their feelings. Well, dealed with the sincere hope and belief in what you are waiting for the happy days. Quite possibly, these feelings will really help you in such a delicate matter, and soon you will enter into a legal marriage.
Useful tips for those who are beginning life together
All stages of life under one roof young couples in love should be based on a feeling of sincere respect for each other. It is important to remember that each of you have your own interests, certain desires, personal freedom and personality. Do not count on the fact that with the beginning of a joint life of a young man quickly rebuilt and will live only your interests.
Before you expect him to such behavior and take offense if it does not, ask yourself about your own willingness to forget the meetings with friends, sitting in a cafe after work, and shopping weekend. Complicated? So why do you think that man is obliged to unconditionally renounce their interests all the time and attention you devote just one? Therefore, if you will make a scene each time it is trying to catch up with friends, nothing good comes out of marriage will fail. The young man would either have to learn to lie to you, either silently walk in their own way, causing your anger, and obviously going to the conflict.
At some point in life together with your loved ones and you can experience a feeling, a desire to be alone with him. At that time, when you lived alone, these feelings have not visited. No wonder, because the sooner you can safely drink coffee, enjoying the peace, or favorite movie, leisurely make-up before a mirror, wash it off if you do not like it, and repeat the procedure again, to lie with a book, and so on. That is, you had plenty of time to practice, which provide a certain share of loneliness. Therefore, do not deprive each other the opportunity to enjoy the peace and do personal affairs.
It is important to remember that living together - that is no reason to forget about their own appearance. Do not wear old stretched things as domestic clothes, still follow their own appearance, or else run the risk of unpleasant surprise elect. A huge number of marriages begin to fall apart just because of the fact that young women who are wives, suddenly inexplicably transformed from slender beauties in oplyvshih ladies of indeterminate age. I wonder how many men will please such a prospect? So try to always look neat and presentable in the eyes of a loved one.
And finally it should be noted that if you decide to move in with her boyfriend, following the example of friends or a relationship with him began to sour and you're trying to fix something so it is obviously a bad idea. For good this decision is unlikely to lead. You should not rush to living together and if you just tired of living space to share with family or a young person that you do not really and pretty, has a nice apartment. Nothing good will come of this, too.
We recommend to check out how to get out of a love triangle