If soiskatelnits has extensive experience in the education of children, it does not mean that the experience associated with the work as a nanny. Is it important experience in the family? Of course, you see the cons of such candidates, but we propose to study the pros.
Among the advantages are the following:
You will become the first tenants, so the nurse can not compare you with someone from former employers.
Soiskatelnits, which first appears in this role, will work with a greater desire than her more experienced colleagues. The novice worker characteristic zeal and enthusiasm, as he masters a new profession for himself.
Despite the lack of experience in the family, the nurse may have a different specialty, which will help in the development of your child, for example, be a teacher of literature, translator, musician, etc.
Option novice suit parents who want to save: a babysitting service will cost less than the more experienced. But it must be taken into account and the presence of other skills of the applicant. For example, knowledge of foreign languages, higher pedagogical education, residence in your town, all of which can add value to the fare and may be such that it will be identical to the rate experienced nurse, but without education, without a residence permit, etc.
Pomogatel.ru Tip: If you select the employee without experience note, if she has a child, or a minimum of experience in child care. Enough risky to leave your baby with someone who has only theoretical knowledge. In cases where the responsibility of the nurse will go only to the child's support and back garden, a special experience is required.
Among the most important qualities of the worker is present dexterity, wit and good memory, thanks to which it will be able to quickly find and do their job perfectly. About these people say that they "grab everything on the fly" or "in her hands all the controversy." If you got just such a nurse - is accustomed to it. The more that the value of its services is much lower.
If, among the duties which you want to charge the assistant, only the general child care, the meeting of the garden, walking and feeding dinner experience can play a major role far. In this case, you should look at the other skills soiskatelnitsy: the ability to communicate with your child and find a common language with him.
Of course, if you lay on the development of the baby sitter by different methods, it is better to turn to a man with a similar experience.
Contents:
How do you know what your child self-esteem
Beware of low self-esteem!
How to help your child adapt zakompleksovannyj
Will your children be successful in life and then how their fate depends on their confidence in themselves and their abilities. Studies on whether the son of one Three or Five, there is going to enroll in college or international university - all minor. Chemistry, physics and other school subjects in the future it may simply not useful. The main thing - that the child knew his worth and to strive for more, but do not stop there.
Progress in the classroom - that's what usually put Mom and Dad in the first place. In the end, it turns out that the neighbor Bob, Peter and Nick, who had studied for one triple, rides on a luxury jeep. Masha, a diligent student, and the pride of the school, working in the company nothing more inconspicuous ordinary employees.
Unfortunately, parents rarely pay attention to the self-esteem of their baby. It does not matter, it is overstated or understated. Anyone, even a very small deviation from the norm - it's bad. The thing is that a confident person, regardless of the circumstances and barriers, can achieve more in life. Notorious living by the rules, content with what we have. Too cocky convinced that his do not value and do not like, despite the fact that he - the best expert on this planet. As a result, the last two categories of people are disappointed in life, and their failure to shift the parents, children and others.
How do you know what your child self-esteem
Low self-esteem
Your child constantly complains that his neighbor's party smarter, prettier, better dressed? Or become a frequent claim that you do not love him? Constant crying, fear of punishment, anticipation of the worst, the uncertainty in their own abilities - all these are the first signs of low self-esteem.
If you do not take any steps in the future will hurt the child in the classroom, he will not be able to adapt to any, even the smallest changes in their lives. Unfortunately, if you decide to try their luck elsewhere, and take him out of school (or translate to another class), the situation does not change. Kid initially setting yourself up for failure, repeating to himself, "I do not get to learn from the five", "I did not decide this task", "I am a loser" etc.
Heightened self-esteem
Typically, children with high self-esteem believe they are always right around. At the same time your child can argue that deuce on the control work - it's not his carelessness, and cavil teacher. The child is not accustomed to be aware of his mistakes, for he has no authority. Often he does not respect even the parents or experienced mentors. The little man seeks to subordinate all yourself. He uses other people's weaknesses, desires, aspirations, trying to stand out from other people's failures.
Typically, these children are the instigators, the aggressors and rather cruel leaders in the future. "I know better", "You do not come out, but I can '- first such initiative of the child touches the parents. And, unfortunately, loving mom and dad too late to realize that educated tyrant.
Adequate self-esteem
Such a child is not afraid to ask for help, because he understands that all know and impossible. The first failure, he did not lose heart and not drifting and trying to first solve all their efforts. He knows that he is loved and appreciated, so not afraid to appear weak. The kid never shifts responsibilities to others. It turned out to any of the comrades help, the student will not ask for this compensation.
If your child's self-esteem, he will not play on the nerves, to demand from friends, relatives or friends or seek special treatment benefit. He accepts people as they are. In a measure of self-confident people in the future much easier in life, as they are never disappointed in friends, family, work. They really look at things.
Beware of low self-esteem!
There are many ways how to raise self-esteem of the child and foster self-sufficient, self-confident person. The sooner you act, the more likely to get a good positive result. At older ages (17-18 years) without the help of a psychologist to radically change anything in the nature of a son or daughter you are unlikely.
How to praise the children
Regardless of age, status and sex, a person needs in praise of no less than financial incentives. Having the right words, favoring this or that act, you secure your child good habits. If you stop to enjoy, for example, the excellent marks, the crop time room or washed dishes, ultimately the student will lose interest in this. For you, Oda handed down debris - nonsense, for the baby - a vital necessity. Do not take such actions as self-evident.
Four cases when it is impossible to praise
But praise the child needs to be properly and fairly. In some moments better to hold back, as flattery could harm. Thus, the four situations in which one must be silent:
Dishonest Achievements
When a child has received a good mark, having written off the control desk of a neighbor, he showed resourcefulness. Therefore blame for ingenuity does not make sense. But to admire the way he did in this situation, it is not necessary. Try to explain to him that he misappropriated other people's writings themselves. If this is the first time, you can refrain from expressing an opinion.
Natural data
Expressive eyes, elegant nose, great hair - it's all good, but it does not merit your child. Of course, you say that your wonderful child - a very nice man. But occasionally, the kid knew and was aware that he was no worse than the others.
Things we launched
I admire the fact that the student's backpack beautiful, just as bad as the girl says that she looks great thanks to the dress. In some ways it is even insulting. Clothes, toys and other little things that you have purchased or donated, adults take for granted.
Self-pity or a desire to please
Many people think that flattery can bribe a child or raise his self-esteem. And this - one of the biggest mistakes adults. In fact, children are very sensitive to lies, hypocrisy and flattery. Speaking obvious untruth, you can push away the baby.
What to express praise and gratitude
Talent
Kid singing, dancing, painting or play an instrument? Encourage him for trying to find themselves, even if the first time he turns bad. Do not rush phrases that second Pushkin or of Michael Jackson he did not succeed. This is a very bad effect on the child's self-esteem, he immediately loses interest in what happens.
Honest services
To your son did not praise him if he put his efforts. Let it be a trifle: Domestic help, just make the lessons, playing with his younger brother, read a book. The child is pleased when actions that benefit, estimated at its true worth.
For future success
Learn how to motivate the student. It is impossible to solve the problem? Say that you are confident in its success. Will control? But you do not even doubt that your child will write a work perfectly. Do not forget to praise her daughter before leaving the house, and then in the evening you are sure to be pleased with their achievements.
Methods to improve the self-esteem
Counsel
Taking any decision, always ask for advice from the child. This will help him to understand the importance and raise self-esteem. However, in this case, but there is one! Even if your opinion differs with the wishes of the child, try to follow its recommendations. Otherwise, the effect of this technique is completely opposite one - you develop a bunch of complexes and fears. And the next time you are simply afraid to express their thoughts.
Ask for help
The son will cope with a broken stool, daughter - zashet break away from the blouse button. Do not try to do everything yourself, ask for help from their children. At the same time treat the child as an equal and do not require the immediate implementation of its whims. The duties (cleaning, washing dishes, peeling potatoes) - is quite another, their younger members of the family must comply without question.
Depicting weakness
Shouldered all the parents raise their children greenhouses. In the future, become as adults, many of them even cook the soup can not. And that's not to mention the more serious problems. Any work will cause despondency. After all, before all of them are doing around - my grandmother, my mother, my friends. In adult life, people should be able to answer for themselves.
You can ask to look after a sick family member, go to the store and buy everything you need. Older children can pay bills, send mail, walk the dog. The older the child, the more he has to help his parents. Of course, to blame him care of the house is not worth it.
How to punish the kid
Your child delinquent, and you will once again put him in a corner, muttering grimly that because he never anything good will come out? Do not be surprised if one day your installation work. After all, you are unconsciously driven into the child's head the idea that he is a bad, stupid, etc. But this does not mean that mothers must all forgive and leave unpunished offenses. You just need to learn to do it correctly.
Six rules of punishment
Innocence
There should be physical, psychological violence. Moral degradation will lead to a drop in self-esteem or, worse, embitter children. Remember, for the mockery of minors you may even be deprived of parental rights. Abroad, for example, if the body of the student find a bruise, even neighbors may complain to the police.
Doubts
If you are unsure what your child smashed the glass in school, do not punish him. But even if after two or three weeks, he admits to wrongdoing, we should not deprive him of the computer as a preventative. Otherwise, it will simply cease to share with you what is happening to him in life.
Do not punish more than once
Whatever serious misconduct was not perfect, do not be angry with the child forever. Do not remember about this situation, do not punish again. Even after a year do not reproach for mistakes, if you find it difficult to forget about them. Otherwise the child will constantly feel guilty and can not move on.
Do not take personal belongings
Your child has received the machine on the remote control, and you took it, as he does not correct assessment? Speaking and showing that things do not belong, you develop it fear and inferiority complex. Over time, it will begin to think that does not deserve the available and will be afraid to lose even unnecessary.
Undo punishment
If a kid make a slip, but quickly corrected their mistakes, or you punish it for anything, do not be afraid to change your mind. Otherwise, the next time he will not take any action to improve the situation. After all, what sense to try to change themselves, if the result of one.
Express your love
Despite the fact that your child delinquent, and you punish him, you still have to show maternal feelings. You can not ignore the child, pointedly silent or angry to answer questions and requests. If a child asks for help, or he needs advice, forget for a moment about the insults and quarrels. After all, first of all you - my mother.
When you can not punish
Remember once and for all, to be around the place and time! Not always is to jump to conclusions and make decisions without listening to the other party. And in some cases punished strictly prohibited, even if the baby is really to blame. So get down to chance and everything to wait several seconds if:
You are on edge, feeling ill, very tired or have not digested the situation;
The child is ill, busy with homework, eating, playing, or you have guests;
When you are not able to understand the background of the act, and the child can not explain their actions;
The child himself suffered a shock, trauma, can not cope with their feelings, fears and emotions.
How to help your child adapt zakompleksovannyj
What if the baby is full, he has congenital defects or he is too shy? Believe me, to convince the student that stuck to it stupid classmates, makes no sense. This will only aggravate the problem. In this case, there are some pretty good ways to get other children to respect him.
Things
Give your child something that will stand out in the crowd. It is not necessary to buy expensive mobile phone or tablet. At the elementary school it can be toys in high - a good bag, shoes, jewelry. Children - are very cruel, so classmates who look a lot worse, and old things are often disliked. Remember, it is best to buy two or three good sweaters for the winter from the store, instead of buying a whole wardrobe in the effluent.
But in any case, do not go with your child on a leash and do not buy him everything. Do not give gifts for something (good grades, achievements in sports, cleaning the house), or in the future from you would be required for any occasion gift. But if you make a promise to be kind, to deter its word. The kid has to trust you.
Mugs
Record your son's soccer, girl dancing, try to send their children to a music school. Choose the most popular among the youth section of the course taking into account the potential of their child. Interacting with the team and doing what like a child and finds himself liberated. The guy playing the guitar will always be the soul of the company. The girl, who can sing, never left unattended.
Courses speakers
Once your child learns to talk, begin to visit a speech therapist. It will help to deliver a speech and to correct certain defects. The children are often unable to articulate complex sounds (p, q, r, etc.), which further affects their self-esteem. In elementary and high school must attend classes, where specialists will teach public speaking.
In an extreme case, if the child is constantly sad, crying over and without complaining about life and reacts badly to criticism, visit with him professional. An experienced psychologist will be able to find the key to the heart of your child and tell you how to behave in a given situation. The main thing - it does not wait until all is resolved by itself.
