How often can hear the women's complaints that her husband - a weak man, incapable of independent decisions and actions. I hope it is impossible - the spouse childish, helpless, and totally incapable of caring about himself or about someone else. In addition, it is fully subject to his mom and trying to appease even the most absurd of her whims. In a word, not a husband, but a misunderstanding, which lives - a continuous series of troubles and difficulties.
In fact, these men usually called spineless sissy. Some people believe that they grow up without a father, and therefore can not be a real man. Mom, they say, spoil the "poor child" and watch over him almost until his retirement. This is not quite true. Highly dependent on the mother and son can grow up in an intact family, if the mother is despotic and subjugates all close. However, what a difference, why man has become infantile and non-self? The question is, what to do and how to behave, if it has managed to have contact with a "mama's boy."
What is he, a sissy?
I must say that "mama's boy" - is not the worst types of men. They are often charming, gallant, romantic, just wins the fair sex. Yes, build a strong relationship with a young man hard. After all weak men can not act without instructions. But only with them can get along strong, prone to despotism women. These ladies paid little attention to interference with the family relationship of husband and mom that he alone can not take a step. But it in no way contradict and always tries to please. A strong, self-sufficient man is not to go, begin to make trouble, and then did gather a suitcase.
Well, not all women are classified as strong. And spineless husbands often accrue to those who are looking for a reliable shoulder. Interestingly, the "mama's boy" during courtship almost always seem to be here this shoulder. Naive girl fascinated external noble and helpful gentleman and believe that it should be so, and a knight. Overjoyed, they skipped flee with him to the registrar. And then pink shroud with eye drops. Because the armor "knight" are fake, nobility - venting. And yet behind this gentleman failed all the time looms mother, whose presence is felt even in bed.
And how can we be poor little wife? She's looking for something in her husband a stone wall! And I ran into the old fence. A weak man - poor protection from the storms of life. It will hide the problems, complain about them mum and wait when someone will bring everything in order. And well even if in this case will not act up and demand something. And if you will? That's toil with him now, with this big baby. Ah, if it were possible to know in advance that it is absolutely unsuitable for the role of head of the family ...
But really, is it possible to determine the "mama's boy" still at the stage of meeting with him? In principle, it is possible.
How to determine that the man - a sissy?
Of course, most women living with mama's boy is unlikely to have their liking. Take everything on myself to endure nagging in-law, knowing that he will never stand up, and be responsible for the children and for her husband - it is very hard to endure. It would seem too easy - take and divorce. But even a weak man may be loved ... heart still, he knows how to solve the problem or not. It has already managed to become attached to the spineless type.
Yes, in love, in our case it would be better to avoid. It's enough to look at the young man before marriage and identify signs of weakness of character, and depending on the mother. I must say that outside his home to observe these signs are not so easy. In a society "sissy" seems usual sociable guy. At first glance it is difficult to understand, explains whether his immaculate appearance love for the accuracy or the result of caring mom. But success in the professional field or tuition - or the desire to develop the implementation of its goals. Should be on guard, if he behaves at the meetings as follows:
- The conversation often mentions his mother, and says with the phrases like "my mother said," "Mother is waiting", "Mom does so", "have to ask my mother";
- Always humbly listens to the end of what he says mom on the phone, even if it calls without substantial reason;
- It can quickly finish the meeting, if the mother has expressed an urgent desire to see his son;
- Weekend or evening often spends with her mother, referring to the fact that it is heavy or sad one;
- Before making a decision, said: "We need to consult with my mother."
If the presence of the above actions is obvious, then, the young man is very attached to his mother. It is likely that it is entirely led by his actions and is in control of every step of his son. To ensure this definitively, it is necessary to get to his house and find out what the atmosphere there. Mother all the time indicates a young person what to do, and he listens and is silent? This is bad. Surely a son in his personal life, too, tries to follow her advice. A woman behaves so that her side all become shorter half-whisper and say? And it's even worse. Because in this case, my son will not have to listen to the advice of my mother, and to obey her orders.
However, the fact that my mother fussing around her son all the time or he recommends something, yet speaks of excessive immaturity Man. In the end, to become submissive when parents may very independent people. What to do, education! So submissive silence the young man in the presence of the mother can not be a proof that he is a weak man. It is not necessary to do so immediately categorical conclusions. But be prepared for the fact that my mother will take an active part in the fate of his son, still necessary. It is possible that women are not satisfied with his choice. This means that the mother uses all the levers of influence on the guy until manipulate it using its allegedly poor health. And yet surely it will achieve its goal.
To be afraid of such a turn of events is necessary if the potential in-law begins to assert, albeit polunamёkami that her son is worthy of the best of the party. And he has a beautiful female candidates in place of his wife. And in general, "it is too early to get married because he did the child and family relations is not ready." If after this conversation the young man behaves somewhat detached, so he is hardly able to take the plunge without the permission of the parent on. Meet him on or not, choose the girl. Well, if it is still on it was solved, in order to avoid pain and disappointment, have previously taken into account the costs of such relations.
Features relations with sissy
To begin with, the young man accuse of excessive dependence on the mother and the lack of independence is impossible. Why do men grow weak? Yes, because since childhood they have not been accustomed to decide even the most minor problems. The mother, who has decided that his son - her whole life, took care of him, cared and did everything in her and not in her power for a comfortable existence of his child. Usually this behavior is not very happy in my personal life woman. They are fully committed to the fate of the arrangement of children and consider it their right to choose where they learn and from whom to marry.
In essence, such a mother is hard to imagine that her son would still belong to someone else. However, it is able to accept the inevitable and take the daughter, if realize that without this woman's son will be a long and suffer greatly. But it will constantly interfere in the affairs of his family, all the time to control the actions of spouses interested in spending and shopping, try to adjust the plans of husband and wife, and quibble over trifles.
I must say that this behavior-in-law is capable of quickly destroy even the most prosperous originally married. Especially if the husband will be all the time to compare the wife and mother, and the comparison is not in favor of his wife. It can to show his half complained that she was not sufficiently attentive, caring, patient, not very good cook, clean, wash. Yes, and loads it up on household chores! Of course, all this is quite unpleasant. Moreover, if a woman is really trying hard.
In short, before marrying a weak man, you need to think twice. Because fundamentally change it will not be possible. Well, if a woman is like a second mother to the role of her husband, then the doubt is not necessary. "Mama's Boy" will be a great party for her. And what to do that which otherwise looks at the relationship in marriage? To part with the young man? That would be best. But, as we have said, it is that the soul has become attached to it and disengage in any does not want to. In this case, will have to accept the situation and try to fit it in with minimal losses for themselves. What is required?
First, once and for all to remember - a favorite completely never change. And his mother will not be a bystander, too, never. So, there will be a pious family in two persons - and his mother's. Oddly enough, but this can benefit greatly. First you need to try at least in part to find a common language with her mother in law. The main thing that she did not get up on his hind legs and turned into a fire-breathing dragon, but when he saw the daughter. If mom husband, even through gritted teeth, but says "hello", this is not bad. Then something - that of said daughter hears.
And once heard then when you need it as often as possible to speak with her husband about the issues that most concerned about at the moment. Most importantly - do not wake up at the same time in-law of the beast, do not insist on the faithful not to blame weak character and laziness. On the contrary, it should emphasize the fact that it does a lot for the good of the family. Therefore, to solve a problem without its participation is not possible. After all, only a clever man can find the best way out of this situation ... And if Mom and something will help or advise, and generally wonderful. The best way to eliminate all the problems and you can imagine!
Well, what kind of mother would remain indifferent to the fact that her son was erected on the podium? And what kind of mother would allow that he fell from that pedestal, being not able to hold on it? No, let my son quietly at it is, and the problems it can solve itself. And decides. Maybe not quite as we would like. However, to the detriment of the family, and therefore, son, will do almost.
In general, all the time not to dance to the tune-in-law and little to weaken its influence on her husband, it is necessary to take note of some tips. They are to:
- Regularly send the wife shopping. Let learn something to buy yourself. Buy anything wrong? Nothing wrong. Do not criticize her husband for the wrong choice and snort. After all, the main task - to show the man that he is able to manage and cope with responsible jobs without a mother. And they bought, "not" then somewhere so handy;
- So try to plan for the weekend to stay together as much as possible and not allowed to escape under the spouse Mother Wing;
- Always take care of his wife and at the same time emphasize that from now on in my mother's care, he is not particularly needed;
- In conversations often use the expression "we Mama." This is a good psychological technique that allows to destroy in the minds of men the idea that he and his family and my mother are indivisible;
- Place the house as much as possible joint photo on which the mother is not present. They will serve as a visual indication that the man is now more than a mother belongs to another woman.
All this will free up a little consciousness of the faithful from the maternal influence. But we must remember - its place in the shower to take a spouse are not fully succeed until the end of years. With this fact will have to accept and not to establish an impenetrable wall between himself and mother. Better to keep the appearance of the world, than to live in an eternal atmosphere of tension. Therefore it is better to occasionally chiming in-law, her interest in health, to give some - some little presents, and not to give up walks together or meetings. Difficult, of course. But that will not do for the sake of the family!