Envy is quite familiar condition for most people, because we are so constructed that can not compare yourself to others. So, many psychological studies conducted in different countries have shown that all of the people in the new team, or simply surrounded by strangers, immediately begin on a subconscious level to some extent to evaluate other people. After carrying out this assessment, which is often the person does not even realize that automatically "turned on" the envy of the characteristics of other people who seem to be better.
The above-described feeling familiar to all people, but most of all they appear just at women - because of their psychological characteristics. Every woman at least once in his life faced with envy friends, which often is not only able to completely destroy a friendship, but also upset the delicate balance of their own psychological attitudes. Why is this happening and what to do to protect themselves from the negative effects of this destructive feeling, we take a closer look in this article.
Envy to various material values
Most often, friends are jealous that you have the opportunity to dress up, buy expensive cosmetics, go to rest several times a year and similar opportunities related to material values. Such jealousy is quite logical and useful even if it does not impact negatively on the development of friendly relations. All women tend to experience such envy, and even you can often catch myself thinking: "Am I jealous of his girlfriend? ".
These feelings in most cases, contribute to the occurrence of an irresistible desire to prove itself first of all, that you too can achieve no less than your girlfriend, and even outdo it. If the relationship due to her jealousy of you seeks to show that she can earn a certain material goods, there is nothing wrong with that.
Quite a different situation when a friend starts to feel not just envy to what you have, but wish you lose it all or lose the opportunity to learn new things. Such jealousy is called "black", no good, it usually does not.
To cope with such a destructive envy, you must try to show her friend that she could accomplish the same thing as you. If your friend is simply not enough determination to start earning the money necessary for the implementation of all its material desires, try to help her practical advice, and to instill in her the belief that with proper persistence it can easily realize all their ideas.
If a friend has no idea how to achieve financial well-being, allow it to read books that once helped you, or convince her that we should not be afraid of their own ideas, but rather immediately begin to implement them. You can also introduce a girlfriend to the right people who can help her move up the career ladder, or open their own business.
Another option - to provide the opportunity to learn that her friend what she wants, or give her a certificate to attend various courses. If you still decide to undergo training to something with a friend and in the process show that it gives you a lot more complicated than it, it is likely that it will revive the spirit and begin enthusiastically to translate new knowledge into practice, earning money for their unique skills.
As a rule, the methods described above often allow you to completely get rid of envy girlfriend or redirect it in a constructive direction. If you have tried everything, but nothing worked, not torment in conjecture why it happened, and just try to take the situation for granted. You can wait for a while until a friend she did not realize that you need not envy you, and the very act in those areas, which will help it to achieve material prosperity. If over time the ratio girlfriend to you is not changed, it makes sense to gradually reduce her communication to a minimum, since such relations will not bring you any positive emotions.
You may visit the idea to take a friend to work for him or her to start a joint business, in one fell swoop to get rid of envy and to your physical facilities, and maintain friendships. Such a decision is a major mistake that many successful modern girls, because in most cases it leads to disastrous consequences. The fact is that any pathologically jealous girlfriend did not miss the opportunity to spoil you, spreading various rumors about you at work, your reputation and impaired a little seriously, even substituting you, depriving the main source of income. At the same time your colleagues and co-workers it can say that I supposedly did not envy her friend and just try to make her good work, to speak openly about all of its advantages and disadvantages.
If, however, a friend, on the contrary, is well versed in the specifics of your work, there is a big risk that over time, the authorities will start to appreciate it a lot more, not you, is also fraught with complete cessation of friendship or even its transformation into a real hatred. So think a hundred times before you make a friend a part of his working life, and it is better never to bind friendships and working relationships.
Envy is a happy personal relationships
In cases where you have a reliable favorite person with whom you are all well, and the girlfriend of the case on the love front ladyatsya not permanently, then over time it may well begin to envy you. At first, such a jealousy is often the nature of slight disappointment and longing, so is not dangerous. However, if a friend a long time is one, it may begin to envy to acquire a very negative connotation. In order not to bring the friendship to open confrontation, it should be time to take certain measures to reduce to nothing envy or just redirect the focus girlfriend on a completely different side of life.
If your girlfriend is constantly meets with new boyfriend, but neither one of them the relationship she simply does not add up, it is necessary to analyze why this is happening. In addition, you can always directly ask his girlfriend, what it does not like in a relationship with one or another of the stronger sex. If, having analyzed all the data you have, you will realize that a friend just chooses not those men, guided laid on a subconscious level the mechanism of occurrence of unhappy feelings during the first unrequited love, you should try to break the script.
This can be reduced with the friend of his good friends male friends of his brother or loved one in the most appropriate environment for dialogue. It is possible that the relationship thus find their own happiness, which will be unspeakably happy. The problem of envy in this case will disappear by itself, and your friendship will once again be the same confidence as before.
The most difficult scenario assumes that your girlfriend wants to build a relationship is not with some abstract man, and with your loved ones, and tries by all means to win his attention. If you two hundred percent sure of his feelings of men towards you, you can simply try to wait until the girlfriend does not find himself another object of seduction.
However, it is better not to allow too informal communication of your second half with his enthusiastic friend, because all men in varying degrees, are impressed by the interest of another woman. That it can help ensure that your better half decides to test his spell in practice, changing you with your own girlfriend, which will inevitably lead to the collapse of both love and friendship.
To prevent the possibility of betrayal and beloved friend, you can try to shift attention to another friend sphere of life, for example, any hobby, sport or career. However, such an option is often ineffective because a friend is simply not going to give up on what it entails so much.
Enough rare women who can curb his own jealousy of happiness loving friend and explain to herself that she should not try to ruin your relationship with your loved one. If your girlfriend is so, then you are very lucky. If not, the only sure way to resolve this difficult situation is to stop any communication with my girlfriend and her complete deletion of his life.
Also found a set of circumstances where you have long been willing to part with her lover, but all do not dare to it for one reason or another. If at this moment a friend starts to show any signs of attention to your man, then you may well "cede" it to her to continue, so the friendship. The only condition for a positive outcome of this situation is the lack of you then a zeal that is not based on feelings, but on a normal possessiveness.
Envy is a beautiful appearance
As for all women of great importance is how they look, it is very often the girlfriend may be jealous of a beautiful appearance. If you are in certain ways superior to his girlfriend, it is likely that over time it will begin to annoy her, and then trigger the emergence of jealousy. Particularly relevant in this question becomes an environment where you need to appeal to any young person, but you can do to prevent it, diverting his attention to his impressive appearance. To deal with such envy is very difficult because women striving for perfection is ineradicable, but through the use of various tricks can restore the old relationship of trust with a friend, not clouded envious thoughts.
If you are ready for the sake of friendship to change something in their appearance, try some time to look less bright and spectacular than on ordinary days. As a rule, such a shake-up is enough time to envious girlfriend realized that your appearance is not perfect and you too can look quite normal. Another option - to start constant friend to complain, what incredible efforts you got a slim figure, well-groomed skin, beautiful hair, perfect manicure, etc.
You can even try to attach to his girlfriend sports and a variety of beauty treatments at the salon. This allows you to immediately "kill two birds with one stone": to get rid of unwarranted jealousy girlfriends and help to improve her appearance, which will affect your relationship only in the best way.
A risky way to resolve the situation, the task involves the girlfriend question directly about why she is jealous of your looks. Of course, at first it will not be recognized in their envious feelings, but if you can convince her that did not want to quarrel, but just want to understand how to cope with the tension in your friendships, you are likely to get from it the long-awaited answer.
Just remember that in any case can not use the information in order to once again show his superiority over his girlfriend. We must, on the contrary, to try to understand what a friend would like to change in yourself to feel the most attractive and stop envying you. Then you can help her change her hairstyle, choose the right makeup, wardrobe and choose wisely, in general, to change her image so that she looks great and always felt confident.
Envy of skills and talents
Many women may envy her friends, because they seem to them more talented. Any special abilities, skills, or simply the most creative, interesting and varied activities as the main occupation in life may well cause less talented friends a certain envy. And in this case, you often do not understand what is there to be jealous, as the girlfriend sincerely believes a creative and multi-faceted personality, and how you are. This is what you have to show his girlfriend so that she will believe it, and stopped often feel unmotivated jealousy.
The popular belief that each person is talented in his own way, in fact, is a sheer truth. To demonstrate this friend, you should pay attention to is not her ability, admired the majority of other people, and that it simply does not notice. If at first glance these skills can not be detected, should dig a little deeper, paying attention to all the little things that go right to your girlfriend's best.
For example, it can be an ideal pick each other different elements of attire and accessories that will allow it to make a very successful career in the fashion industry. Or she knows how to cook wonderful, combining different ingredients in such a way that in the end produced a completely new and original dishes, the taste of which leads to the delight of family and friends. Such a clear penchant for culinary delights will be an excellent cook girlfriend. In any case, you can find something that a friend be able to do much better than others, and make sure that it is fully realized.
To get rid of envy girlfriend to any of your talent, you can also start regularly consult with it, particularly stressing that her advice is very valuable for you. If you see that your friend wants something to help, never pushed her away, even if in fact you do not need such assistance. Try to make your own creation at least a few small items on the advice of a friend, to interpret them in a way that she was happy, and your business is not affected. Often, such a simple way can not only rid the women's friendship with jealousy, but also make it much more robust and reliable.
Using the data above recommendations in certain situations, you are sure to get rid of envy a friend who poison your friendship. If none of the methods did not work, and the girlfriend stubbornly refuses to go to a frank conversation to "dot the i", it makes sense to gradually reduce it to no communication.
Of course, you can try to cling to friendship, recalling the days when all you had with a friend was wonderful, but nothing good is, as a rule, does not end. The fact that a man who absolutely do not want to admit his jealousy and in any way to fight it is unlikely to ever support something you would definitely like real friends. So the most correct decision in this case is to end all relations with a friend.
When the girlfriend herself admits that he envies you anything, but it is the envy of quite innocent in nature, and even pushes her to commit any active steps to deal with it is not necessary. This envy is one of the best ways of self-improvement, which is necessary for each person to bright and full of life, rich variety of events. If a friend as a result of these actions reach for something meaningful in life, not only cease to envy you, and will do its utmost grateful to you for example, through which she was able to become a better and more successful.
If you ever find yourself thinking: "It seems that I was jealous of her friend, no less than it is me," In no case do not worry, and do not blame yourself for having experienced a similar feeling. Try to understand what kind of color is your envy - the "white" or "black"? If envy girlfriend did not just motivates you to achieve new heights in various spheres of life, taking nothing.
If envy is a clear negative connotation, and undermines the foundations of your friendship from the inside, above all, determine what it is you are jealous, and then talk openly with a friend to resolve this situation with minimal losses.